Oct 31 wt: 191
Goal wt:180
1: 192
2: 192 - 67 minutes power walking on the treadmill + 1 mile Leslie Sansone in my office.
3: 192 - 60 minutes treadmill jog/walk
4: 190 - 68 minutes treadmill jog/walk
5: 191- 30 run on treadmill
6: 193 - 60 min run @ 3.6
7: 194- weights upper body
8: 194.4 - 2 mile bike ride with kids
9: 195- 63 min @4.0 fast walk/run
10: 194.4 - 2 mile jog outside 33 min
11: 195 - 2 mile jog outside 33 min
12: 194.6- 2 mile jog outside 33 min & heavy yard cleaning
13: 194.4 - 2 mile jog outside 33 min
14: 194.4 - 48 min country line dance video
15: 194.0 - no exercise
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Okay, the month is half over. I feel so behind.
I have to confess something or it will eat me alive.
I haven't been on here for more than a week. I kinda went back to my old ways and really paid for it. The short and simple story is that I am a "starver" when things go bad for me. I had an argument last week and even though I kept up with exercise, it affected my OP eating. I starved myself for 3 days in protest of this stupid argument and it set me behind.
Then once things were over I ate like mad (binged) for two days. I felt like total crap yesterday, agonizing about having to get on the scale last night and what it was going to show. It showed 196.6 and I had myself a good cry about it. But resolved to learn from it and keep going.
I thought I had better control than this. Apparently this is something I need to keep working on. I never thought myself to have an eating disorder, but I think I do, because starving was my answer for everything...weight loss, stress, self punishment. I haven't done this in more than 6 months mind you (I used to do it every month), so I think I have come a long way.
I am embarrassed by this but again I am very relived to have gotten it out. I am back on plan today and only 3 lbs over from my last goal, which I thought was going to be WAAAAY worse. I know the damage still may not have shown itself completely, but I am dealing with it "one day at a time". So thanks for listening guys!
Leah