Welcome- that does sound stressful but maybe one thing you could do is feed the children first and then eat later? Maybe your SO could take care of the kids in that time so you can eat for 15 minutes and eat the right portion? Or once you get the kids situated with their food and they are finally eating then eat your food- that way you aren't eating their food and they aren't eating yours? Do they eat different foods than what you eat?

Often times it seems we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves... You can do this. The first step is cleaning out your system. If you get the junk and sugars out of your system it makes it feel more managable to control the crazy cravings. Find a plan that will work for you and stick with it. If shakes work for you right now then do that. ...I couldn't do the shakes myself because I was always still hungry. I am a calorie counter. Fitday is a great website if you want to enter your calories and create a health plan. I know some people on here also use the Daily Plate. ... And if you are trying to find calories for something and you can't find it on those websites then the calorieking.com is a good resource.

Hugs and thoughts from me to you My Friend. I understand--I am another mom here that let herself go for way too long. Sounds like it's time for YOU. You put yourself on the very tip top of that list of yours. Cleaning house? Feeding the kids? Staying on budget? Keeping hubby happy? Yep, you can do it and have it all! First things first though--TAKE CARE OF YOU!

When are you overeating? If you can pinpoint your most troublesome times it will really help out. I was a late night eater. I would wait for everyone to go to bed and make my plate. Whatever I could load on it, went on it. I would sit at my computer in the darkness and surf and shovel. I got bigger and bigger. I now go to bed (almost 100% consistently) with hubby now. No more late night shovel fests for me.

As far as methods--well, there are many. I began with frozen meals. I escalated to whole foods while calorie counting. I love food and always have--a true foodie am I. I now make it my business to educate myself about the power of foods. My once Paula Dean buttery concoctions have been replaced by meals that are just as tasty but also good for my body inside and out!

We are here for you. The support is here, the answers are here. There is nothing weight related we haven't discussed or aren't willing to discuss. You can do this. I absolutely know you can.

Hello and welcome. It's great that you found your way here and that you signed up for the fitness place. As far as the food portion of the plan, we all have different things that work depending on our tastes, health conditions, job, etc. It took me a few different attempts at this to learn about myself and what works for me. Maybe logging everything you eat for a while will give you some insight and perspective that will help you figure what will work for you. Perhaps even logging how you feel before and after you eat to identify any danger foods. Most important is choosing a plan (food and exercise) that you can do for the rest of your life because you have to keep doing it. Take time and explore. If you make a choice that doesn't work for you, you can learn from it and move on to try something different.

The good thing about hitting bottom is that you can only go up.

I know this is hard to fathom, but taking care of yourself, making you and your health and your weight a priority, eating good foods, grasping that control (and you can) will ease your stress - big time. EVERYTHING is easier and simpler being a healthy weight - it just is. Are things perfect now that I'm slim? Of course not. But without a doubt things ARE easier. Everything is exacerbated when you're overweight, out of shape and unhappy with yourself.

Put yourself on top of the list of things that are important and that matter - and watch yourself be able to deal with and take care of your family in a MUCH better fashion. DECIDE to do this. Make a commitment, make a plan - and transform your life. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. It IS within your control. You DO have the power to change this. Make no mistake about it. Losing weight is a doable thing for everyone and anyone.

Oh and I too *just* switched around what I ate. I found tasty, delicious foods that are lower in calories and higher in nutrition. They work for me long after I'm done chewing. Instead of one little cookie (and who ever stopped at one?), I can eat an entire container of grape tomatoes. Tasty and delicious - highly nutritious and I'm not going to go back and eat another 5 or 6 (or a dozen) other containers of grape tomatoes. I LOVE the foods I'm eating now waaaay more then the garbage I was eating before. I now hold myself up to a higher standard. I've raised the bar. I require more from myself. And it feels marvelous. This healthy lifestyle is no burden, no hardship - it's a blessing and a joy. Really. Once you get into - it's the greatest. You won't regret it for one minute.

And I urge you to not feel deprived passing up on the high calorie foods - no I finally realized that EATING them and remaining obese was the deprivation. I was depriving myself of vitality, energy, happiness, healthy, productivity, joy and the best possible me.

Don't dread this journey - embrace it, celebrate it - find the joy in it.

Agreeing with everything others have said and also sending some encouragement your way. I have fallen off the wagon several times and Ive not given up. Ive found that when I dont visit this site and chat with members I lose site of everything. Its really harder when no one relates so by coming here you made a HUGE step in the right direction. Lots of luck

Christa,

I'm another one who completely understands how you feel.

You've gotten a lot of really good advice from people here, but I just want to say something about the cravings.

I am in my forties, and I was a hard core binger for YEARS. I was what's called a motivated eater, meaning I would drive to the store in the pouring rain to buy binge food, I would buy fast food and chuck the bags out the window before I got home... I would be in a state where all I could think about was how bad I wanted to eat a certain thing.

I thought I was HOPELESS.

But, oddly enough it was a lot easier to get over than I thought. I had to decide 100% to put those foods off limits, permanently.

I don't eat small portions, I don't eat them once in a while, I don't find low cal subsitutes for them. I JUST DON'T EAT THEM.

And oddly enough, it only took maybe 2 or 3 weeks before they stopped calling my name so loud, and only a month or two before I almost forgot about them.

Which I think is SO WEIRD given that I used to feel that sweets and binge foods ruled my life.

The other HUGE thing for me, is that I found 3FC and everyone here has been SO SUPPORTIVE. I always used to feel so alone with my eating problems, but here, I know everyone understands and there is probably no dysfunctional food thing I've done that others couldn't relate to.

So, stick around, and come up with a plan that works. A lot of us count calories and once you white knuckle through the early crave period, it really isn't that bad.

People say that eating and smoking or drugs are not the same because you can't quit cold turkey-- but at least in my case, you CAN quit cold turkey from the foods that cause problems.

Because, like Robin said, I love the healthy foods I eat, but they don't trigger a desire to binge in me....

I've been there, only rock bottom for me was 375 pounds, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. It took a total overhaul for me to break out of that miserable cycle of crazy overeating and the subsequent guilt and pain and self-loathing. I figure it's like this: my old style of eating was pretty extreme, and in no way moderate. So doing something really radical with how I ate wasn't all that different, in a sense, because I already WAS an extremist in how I ate. I just decided to choose a healthier extreme, one that included whole foods, eliminated meat (which I'm not encouraging for anybody else, this is just a personal choice of mine) and, above all else, included very high volumes of naturally very low-calorie food.

And, as other people are pointing out, you best care for others by starting with caring for yourself. You are worth the world to the other people in your life, and it's only fair and right that you value yourself that highly as well.

This is a great place, with so many supportive people. I wish I'd found it at the beginning, instead of when I was getting closer to goal, because it's been so amazingly helpful to me. Good luck! You can do this.

Once again Ubergirl has mimicked my thoughts. This was EXACTLY the case for me. I had heard that totally giving up "the white stuff, the flour-y/carb-y/sugar-y" things - basically the foods that I LOVED and overate the most - was the way to go. So I figured I was doomed, DOOMED, because there was no way in **** that I was ever going to give up "that" stuff, but after hitting "rock bottom", I figured what the heck choice do I have - I'll just do it already - it's GOT TO BE EASIER than living my life being super morbidly obese - and after an initial very uncomfortable stage, and for me it was about 11 days - something miraculous happened - I no longer even wanted "that stuff". The longer and longer I went without it, the less and less I wanted it.

Some people can do "moderation" and I say good for them. I had tried that route for years and years, decades in fact. But I for one can't. It was MUCH simpler, easier and finally just made more sense, banning them totally. I had a terrible time STOPPING eating those foods - my solution - don't start. And there it was my way out of the misery, out of the hole. Who wouldv'e thunk it?

DECIDE to do this. Make yourself some hard core rules - adhere to them. Get past that initial discomfort period - no matter what - any way that you can and be all that you can be.

Robin

I have to say this is so true. I never really thought of it in this way but you are correct.

- true deprivation is not being able to buy what is stylish and looks good on you "buying the only thing that fits" instead.

-true deprivation is not being able to join in the ball game in the park with your kids.

- true deprivation is feeling uncomfortable and exhausted all the time instead of invigorated and full of life.

I could go on and on about how deprived I was in my life before weightloss but won't bore everyone with it!

Kitty

Sounds like you have made some great first steps!! WTG!