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Old 12-01-2009, 11:07 PM   #1  
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Default 15th anniversary this summer - help!

I'm still in such denial, even after being on 3FC & reading so many inspiring & encouraging stories & advice for the past 4 months!

I just realized that my 15th anniversary is 8 months away - & I weigh 110 lbs more than my wedding day :-( I know a lot of you have had huge losses at what I consider lightning speed, but I still have that feeling like I can't do it (do it at all, not lightning fast!).

Please, give me your best advice - how can I stay motivated for the next 8 months to really make progress to my goal? And geez, why can't any of you live next door so we could be workout buddies or something?!

Thank you!!!

PS My husband dropped the "cruise" word in regards to our anniversary, & honestly, that sounds like torture heaped on shame - how pathetic is it that I am so fat I would pass up on a trip of a lifetime because I'm embarrassed?

Last edited by bcort; 12-01-2009 at 11:09 PM.
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Old 12-02-2009, 02:45 AM   #2  
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I feel your pain. My boyfriend just mentioned that we need to take a trip to the beaches of Spain or northern Africa this March. Undoubtedly an amazing experience.

And I cannot help but cringe at the thought of having to wear a bathing suit for 2 weeks straight.

But you are right, you said "how pathetic is it that I am so fat I would pass up on a trip of a lifetime because I am embarrassed."

It would be pathetic of both of us to feel ashamed about going on a wonderful vacation.
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Old 12-02-2009, 06:36 AM   #3  
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As Robin always says, what you need is not motivation, it's commitment. You just have to commit yourself to making the changes to your lifestyle that will get you where you want to be.

Will you reach your final goal by your anniversary? It's unlikely. But eight months is a long time, and if you commit to moving more and eating on plan (whichever plan you choose to follow), I promise you will feel SO MUCH BETTER about yourself by then. Even if you're not at goal, you will feel great and you'll be able to enjoy your anniversary. (Yes, even a cruise!)

I have cruised at much heavier weights than I am right now, and I loved it. You will see people of all shapes and sizes on a cruise ship, I promise. There's no weight limit, and no one will be looking at you and wondering what you're doing there, because they'll be too busy staring at the ship and the sights and yes, the massive buffets. (They even have gyms on board to counteract the effects of the buffets. )

You can make major changes in a short time, sure. You can also take years to get there like I have (going on four now). Either way, it's worth it. Though I do wish sometimes that some of these ladies lived next door, and I already have a workout partner!
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:22 AM   #4  
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gosh I feel the same way....letting my weight keep me from doing fun things. You have eight months! You can lose a considerable amount of weight in that time period! Just take it day by day and you can do it. Mark your calendar every day that you have stuck with your plan. I want to lose alot of weight by next summer cause this past summer it was like I was trapped in this body. Never again! We can do this together!
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:42 AM   #5  
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You do it one day at a time. One meal at a time. You have a plan, and then you execute it.

You don't sabotage yourself by listening to the little voice that says "Oh please oh please can't I have a coookieeee??? Or two? Or threeee?"

You counter the voice that says, "Oh what the ****, let's just eat something" with a voice that says, "My choices matter! I will make the best choice I can for myself!"

You start today. Right now. You don't put it into the future, tomorrow, Monday, next week... You start now.

You look at some online tracking tools, or get a food journal book for yourself. You start entering or writing down what you are eating. Everything you are eating. Every bite, lick, and taste. This is the only way to get real about what you're putting in your mouth.

You make a shopping list.

You start reading Nutrition Labels.

You begin to think in terms of weighing or measuring portion sizes instead of just glopping stuff on your plate.

Chances are you won't drop 110 pounds in 8 months, but whatever amount you lose by seriously trying, you'll be that much happier for whatever you do.

Good luck!


Last edited by JayEll; 12-02-2009 at 07:44 AM.
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:52 AM   #6  
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I so empathize, there are so many things that I haven't done because of my weight, well, my attitude to my weight anyway.

You can't be motivated or committed for 8 months, it's far too long and you want to lose a big amount. What you can be is motivated and committed Today. And then the next Today, until they all run together. Seriously, that's 'all' it takes.

My other advice would be not to aim for the whole 110 in this timespan. I guess it's technically possible but if you only missed by even one pound, you'd go on that cruise feeling 'failure'. If you plan to stay on plan for as many Todays as possible and just note and celebrate every pound you lose, then you will go on the cruise feeling 'success'. And you will be.
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Old 12-02-2009, 08:13 AM   #7  
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How can I add to the wonderful advice above?? List to these wise people and just start. I wouldn't expect to lose 110 pounds in 8 months or I think that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Make that important commitment and expect to be the best person that you can be in 8 months. I promise that you will feel so much better!

You can do this or rather, you are doing this!
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:29 AM   #8  
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I don't have any expectation to lose all the weight in that amount of time - Don't know that it would be healthy even if I could. I have been stuck so long in the phase of not even starting it drives me crazy. Major character flaw no doubt. Thank you for your advice - you're right that I need to make the commitment - I think I have the motivation already. I never thought about the difference before.
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Old 12-02-2009, 04:18 PM   #9  
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You've gotten some great advice... You've come to the right place. We can be your virtual weightloss buddies. (I'm from the midwest too.) The good thing about 3FC is we're never more than a click and a computer away.

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Old 12-02-2009, 04:26 PM   #10  
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You CAN make a HUGE difference in 8 months... you could easily lose 50 pounds. Easily! You can do it if you just make up your mind to do it
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:45 PM   #11  
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I did great today, not perfect, but much better than normal. Thanks for the encouragement!
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:57 PM   #12  
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I just want to say how excited I am for you to have a 15th anniversary coming up! I know this is about the weight loss and everything, but that's a huge accomplishment. Congratulations!!

Good luck!
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:41 PM   #13  
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Oh man, the cruise sounds awesome and romantic!

I went to Mexico at pretty close to my highest weight last February, and I'd do it again at any weight! There are ALL kinds of people on vacations. You will not regret it at any weight! When we were in Mexico, there was a lot of nudity on the beach, and trust me -- the less-than-perfect nude bodies drew the attention away from my frumpy bathing-suited body.

I think you owe it to yourself and to your husband to celebrate FIFTEEN years together! Way to go.

And yes, you could very easily lose 30-60 pounds before the trip.

I'm in the midwest, too! Specifically, Minnesota, and I could definitely use an exercise buddy in the odd chance that you're in my locale.

Last edited by Hyacinth; 12-02-2009 at 11:42 PM.
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