Thread Tools
Old 06-10-2009, 11:07 PM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
suzie76's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,306

Default why did this comment hurt so much?


I haven't been around here for a long time, but hope to get my act together soon and try to start losing weight again.

I was in the ladies room at Barnes and Noble today, and when I was washing my hands, a mom with her two young children (around four years old) were doing the same. I heard one of the kids say to her mom "she has a big behind." The mother said something softly, but I think it was "you're not being nice."

I pretended not to hear any of it, but it really hurt my feelings. I know the comment came out of an innocent child's mouth and she didn't mean anything and was making an observation (which unfortunately is correct..sigh). The mother was about a size two, so ANYONE would look big compared to her, honestly.

I can't get that comment out of my mind! I'm not sure what my point is in posting, but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone in real life what happened.

Thanks for listening-
suzie76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:13 PM   #2  
Senior Member
bargoo's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'


People will say rude things. be glad it was a young child who didn't know any better.
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:19 PM   #3  
Dria's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 159

S/C/G: 176.2/115.2/120

Height: 5'1"


kids call em as they see it.... They mean no harm my kids have also done this before. Its very embarrassing as a parent as well. However that being said...
This could be divine intervention maybe this is a boost you need to get back on track to what your goals were/are!!! Dont look at the bad side of it.... use it as a motivator...

The other part is sadly a kid wont look at you when you lose the weight you want and say... That lady has a small bum. It would be nice lol Id like to hear it too but.. you know... Good luck and I hope you can use this for positive things!!! Chin up... We all get big in the behind at one point or another I was big in the behind too!!!!
Dria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:20 PM   #4  
Hi From Canada, eh?
Trazey34's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, eh?
Posts: 2,369

S/C/G: check the ticker :)

Height: 5'8


meh, it hurts cuz you're letting it hurt you. Duh, you have a big butt. You're going to lose weight. You won't have as big a butt. Problem solved, yes? LOL kids say the darndest things!
Trazey34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:23 PM   #5  
~jus' being me~
Madison's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 703


I blame bad breeding
Madison is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:35 PM   #6  
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 19


Mean comments hurt because they can make us feel less than comfortable in our skin. But really, children just say what they think and that same child might have thought a size 8 person had a large butt if his/her mother was a size 2.
Don't let it hurt you. Try to put the energy you are spending on thinking of it, into something positive. For example, "I may have a large butt now, but this time next year, I will be a hot little number." Or something such as that.
Be a duck and let those comments roll off your back like water. You can even quack if it is empowering for you!
tilly long is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:39 PM   #7  
Senior Member
ringmaster's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,321

S/C/G: 198/155/140

Height: 5'9"


Sounds like the parent hasn't taught the kids some manners yet... and it hurts because as someone said kids call it as they see it., hopefully it was innocent and the kids didn't learn to make mean comments about people so early.
ringmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:40 PM   #8  
joyra's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 715

S/C/G: 172/165

Height: 5'2


I agree with Dria... kids are more likely to point out the obvious. Kids don't have built in sensitivity filters. I remember seeing someone with darker skin for the first time and asking my mom why her skin was dirty. I'm sure I didn't take her in private and ask either, I'm sure I asked right in front of the girl.

That said.. take that painful comment and use it as motivation. I was mistaken for pregnant five times in about a year... obviously, I must've had some nice round gut but still. Every time it hurt. But I have been working my, well, "pregnant belly" off and lost 5 inches from my waist. Every inch down I think it's less and less likely I'll ever hear that comment again.... though with celebrity pregnancy obsession, the tiniest bump is now PREGNANT. But you get what I'm saying?
joyra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:43 PM   #9  
Senior Member
shrinkingleah's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Puget Sound
Posts: 233

S/C/G: 271/268/175

Height: 5'8"


At least it wasn't your mother-in-law. Mine makes comments about my weight EVERY time she sees me. (We live 10 minutes away, but we're not fans of each other so we see each other maybe once or twice a month) and it was snarky remarks and now it's how "Healthy" I look. Did I look so horribly unhealthy before? Backhanded comments are very annoying.

I am kind of bad about letting things get to me, especially about my weight and I hope you let this go, even if it does take some time. You're doing the right thing taking care of it! Good luck, From a fellow ample caboose (and my tummy looks like I'm a few months along!)
shrinkingleah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:46 PM   #10  
Senior Member
harrismm's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 1,344


I dont know if its so much not learning manners.Those of us that have children know that it takes many more years than 4 to teach them everything they need to know.I have 3 teenage boys and they are still learning!LOL.It sounds like the mother did the appropriate thing.I would guess they discussed it further in private.That being said in defense of an innocent 4 year old, I am sorry your are hurt.I do understand though.It was a similar comment from my own child in mommy and me swimming that motivated me to loose the baby weight. Kids do say the darndest things, usually with an element of truth.
harrismm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2009, 11:59 PM   #11  
Senior Member
digitalrequiem's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 128

S/C/G: 240/see ticker/150

Height: 5'2


I once had a kid as me if I was pregnant....I wasn't...
digitalrequiem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 12:02 AM   #12  
Hooping my Life Away
Daimere's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,052

S/C/G: 298/218.1/170

Height: 5'8"


Originally Posted by digitalrequiem View Post
I once had a kid as me if I was pregnant....I wasn't...
Me too. It was one of those days I already felt hideous, too.
Daimere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 12:29 AM   #13  
Senior Member
SunshineCA's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184


Unfortunately it's not just kids that say the most disheartening things. Adults do it too. Even your own family. Fortunately, I've learned to just let it roll right off my back.
SunshineCA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 12:35 AM   #14  
Senior Member
Thighs Be Gone's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,629

S/C/G: HW/232 SW 215/ CW 133/GW 120's

Height: 5.7 and 1/2


My adoptive mom who falls in the super morbidly obese category uses questions from kids as teaching opportunities.
Thighs Be Gone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 01:17 AM   #15  
Senior Member
Lyn2007's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,431

S/C/G: 278/see ticker/168

Height: 5'6"


It does hurt (the ego I think?) when kids made comments, but yeah, I have five kids and I really did teach them manners but sometimes they just don't think. Or they don't get that a comment might hurt. The child was probably just observing. And that's what hurts I think. When I get a comment like that I feel bad about myself for letting myself get so big, but since we are doing something to change our health and become our own vision of health, the bad feelings dont need to stick around for long.
Lyn2007 is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:13 PM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.
Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.