Kids are not generally mean spirited so they didn't say it to hurt you... it was just an observation. Like "that man has a yellow hat" or "that dog has a long tail" ... It HURTS though and it's happened to me too
It does feel hurtful, but it helps to remember what cfmama said--the little child was just making an observation and didn't say it to be hurtful or critical. When my nephew was about that age, he hugged his Grandma's leg affectionately and said, 'Gramma, you sure have big jeans!' So I think that it's just a little kid thing.
So true when you look at it that way . . . kids just make observations. Its SO awful when someone (anyone) points something like that out . . . but it was many moments just like that one that made me start to make a change . .. sometimes these little things are sent to us as a blessing
Please don't think too much about the comment. Children don't have the frame of reference that we adults have. If you ask a child to guess how old someone is, they are as likely to say 100 as to say 30. The kid may have just been thinking that your behind is bigger than hers.
I'll have kids say things like that to me, and I'll just look right at them and say, "yeah I do!" confident as **** and walk off. Like it's been said here, kids are just making observations. They see a big butt, you know you have a big butt, own it. I'm working on getting rid of the big butt, so let them have their say. I'll have mine in the end.
that had to feel really hurtful... although coming from a child, I can understand why it was in some ways hard to acknowledge that it hurt. I agree with whomever said that kids simply call them as they see 'em...
For me, it's like actually hearing out loud from someone else (albeit a child) what I have been thinking in my head all along.
I wish adults would use the word the same way - matter-of-factly, with no ill intent behind the word. I hate playing the "let's pretend Colleen isn't fat" game.
I once was talking to a coworker/friend and said something about being fat, and she said, "you're not fat," and I nearly peed myself laughing (on what planet is nearly 400 lbs, not fat). She turned bright red and snaped "you know what I mean." Yeah, I did. It's not polite to "notice" that someone is overweight, and a nice person can't be fat, they must be something else. I hate euphemisms, and would rather be called fat than "fluffy" or "zaftig" (that sounds like a German submarine or something).
One of my nephews once said hugging me, that grandma and I were "so much softer and squishier to hug than mommy or Auntie Ann." I'm not saying the comment made being fat "worth it," but there was no way to feel bad with that much love in the kid's voice.
What I hate is parents who go ballistic on their kids when they make the "fat" observation. If I have an opportunity to talk to the kid before mom does, I usually say something like "yes, people come in a lot of different sizes, but some people don't like to be called fat, it hurts their feelings."
Personally, I wish I didn't have to add the last part. I wish it wasn't considered such a taboo topic that it can't be discussed in polite conversation. I'm not saying that people should be bringing it up to fat strangers, but the idea that anyone has to pretend I'm not fat, even if I bring it up, is just so silly.
I was in a store and heard a little kid, maybe 3 (max) ask his mommy why "the lady" (me) was so big, and the kids mom had a meltdown. She snapped and whaled on the kid. She didn't hit him, but the verbal attack was so bad, I think the kid would have rather been hit. It's a shame, because the first thing I thought is that she was raising a kid who was going to hate fat people for life, from the trauma.
Please don't think too much about the comment. Children don't have the frame of reference that we adults have. If you ask a child to guess how old someone is, they are as likely to say 100 as to say 30. The kid may have just been thinking that your behind is bigger than hers.
Hehehe, so true. When I was about 30ish, one of my nieces made some comment about me being old. I asked her how old she thought I was. She thought hard, and guessed, "18?"
I agree that it's just hearing the words out loud that hurts. We know kids don't have any mean intent, but it still stings. When my son was about five years old he had a little friend who saw my husband and i sitting at the table. He was sitting in a child size chair across the room so he was about eye level to our back sides. He hollered out in shock that my butt was so much bigger than my husbands. The boy was probably four at the time, so I knew he didn't mean to be mean. Now he is a very well mannered young man and even gives me a hug when I see him. I was thinking of that comment last week and when I took the husbands jeans out of the dryer I tried them on just for the heck of it. They are huge on me! I haven't been smaller than my husband since we got married, so that made me feel great. Sorry for the long story, but just know it happens to all of us.
I remember being at the mall and a lady who and was known for being very very loud, ( I had not seen her in a few years)saw me at the food court, as I was in line.....and approached me, and said Michelle is that you? wow you gained a lot of weight how much have you gained? And persisted to talk loudly....boy was I ever humilated. As I felt every eye checking me out.
I remember being at the mall and a lady who and was known for being very very loud, ( I had not seen her in a few years)saw me at the food court, as I was in line.....and approached me, and said Michelle is that you? wow you gained a lot of weight how much have you gained? And persisted to talk loudly....boy was I ever humilated. As I felt every eye checking me out.
You know what? They were looking at the loud woman being so rude and stupid. Seriously.
My daughter reminded me of the time a little girl pointed at me, laughed, and said, "Look, she's so fat." I responded to her by saying, "Yeah, I am, just like Santa Claus." She stopped laughing and nodded her head in agreement.
I have had this happen too. The parents have always handled it well, but it still stings.
