I began my journey as most of you know in May '08. I found you a few months into my weightloss but the inspiring stories, thought provoking comments, discussions and especially your photos have really been paramount in keeping me on track.
Jen, you seem like a sweetheart actually that had a bad morning and I know about jealousy and envy.
I wonder though what you envy. Do you envy that I monitor every morsel and crumb that goes in my mouth? Do you envy that I run outside in rain or even freezing weather sometimes--ice crystals forming on my eyelashes--with the possibility of hitting an ice sheet at any moment--while the rest of my town is still sleeping? Do you envy that I cook and clean my kitchen several times a day in order to have healthful meals for myself? Do you envy me going through years of emotional baggage to uncover some of the reasons I believe I became obese?
It is so much more than just someone announcing they are in a smaller size or in a new decade. It takes one **** of an amount of work to lose the weight as you already know. Celebrating it with the sisters at 3FC is the least we can encourage.
The inspiring and yes, thought provoking success stories here are so, SO important to the function of this site I believe. To lose even one of them is a travesty. I beg for more stories, more successes, more photos ladies.
I wonder though what you envy. Do you envy that I monitor every morsel and crumb that goes in my mouth? Do you envy that I run outside in rain or even freezing weather sometimes--ice crystals forming on my eyelashes--with the possibility of hitting an ice sheet at any moment--while the rest of my town is still sleeping? Do you envy that I cook and clean my kitchen several times a day in order to have healthful meals for myself? Do you envy me going through years of emotional baggage to uncover some of the reasons I believe I became obese?
It is so much more than just someone announcing they are in a smaller size or in a new decade. It takes one **** of an amount of work to lose the weight as you already know. Celebrating it with the sisters at 3FC is the least we can encourage.
Really well put.
Steady, continuous, non-yoyo-ing results don't come without the work. The hard work. The hard steady work. The hard steady consistent work. Through good times and bad. Through stress and strife. Through thick and thin. Through rain, sleet and snow. More reliable then the post office. And the best part about it - it's work that's open and available to all that seek it out. No resume' required. No job interview. No competing against others. And in this job market, these days...
I'm wondering how many people have had their "light-bulb" moment here? Lurkers and posters alike. We will never know. Jen, this has turned into quite the thread. So many things that have been unspoken about here at 3FC has now been touched upon.
I'm wondering how many people have had their "light-bulb" moment here? Lurkers and posters alike. We will never know. Jen, this has turned into quite the thread. So many things that have been unspoken about here at 3FC has now been touched upon.
And while that was not my original intention, I am glad it went this direction. I've always been the one in my family to say out loud what others have only thought about.
For me, this thread has reinforced some things I already knew, and clued me in to some things I knew but forgot or ignored. I know NONE of you big losers got to where you are by doing nothing, or sitting back and whining about other people's accomplishments.
This has really opened my eyes. Thanks to everyone who participated.
A special thanks to Colleen....because of her, I cannot get the image of "pooping butterflies" out of my mind.....
Jen - I know it's like it's a bitter sweat type of thing....you are happy for those that lose the weight but constantly think why can't that be me? I know this feeling too, but then I also see that someone losing a lot of weight like they have gives me hope to know that I too could accomplish that in my OWN time. Everyone loses weight differently and in their own timeline...some do fast and some do slowly. We have to constantly remind ourselves that we are all different in our abilities. Also remember that some work harder at it than others do too.....for instance those on the "Biggest Loser" show.....they dont' have to worry about a job, a home and kids to take care of while they are at the ranch....they just have to work out all day and eat right..all they have to focus on there is their weight and what they are doing to shed the pounds....back to reality we have much more to worry about day to day than just our weight issues. You too can overcome this hurdle and shed the pounds in YOUR own time.
cfmama - don't you dare stop posting, you give a lot of encouragement to a lot of people, and you are still on your road to where you want to get to. Keep up the amazing work.
I do have to say that a lot of changes CAN be made without hard work. There is a lazy way, because I found it.
All my previous attempts were white knuckle attempts. I thought I had to put every ounce of effort I had into weight loss AND ignore and put on hold, all other parts of my life, in order to be successful. Putting "everything" into weight loss got exhausting, and sad. And when I was putting "everything" into weight loss, I did get jealous at anyone who was achieving better results - and anyone having any kind of life at all - because I'd sucked all the fun stuff out of my own, in order to lose weight. And if I let up on the effort, the results dropped so fast, I'd just feel so hopeless, and discouraged.
I don't know what I would have done, if I hadn't found a way to make weight loss easier physically and mentally (a birth control change, low carb dieting, and a philosophy that doesn't demand perfection).
However, the "easy way," has a catch, and it's a big one. Results are not going to be impressive. They may even look to the outside world as if "you're not even trying." Some changes may not even result in weight loss, but because they may be skills you will have to build on to succeed, you can't abandon them just because no weight loss resulted. You have to see the big picture or you may abandon good choices because "they don't work." Many of the pieces only work when they're connected to other pieces.
The thing is, though you can't have it both ways. You may be able to do easy, but the weight loss is not going to look like anything we've been taught to expect. I've been doing it the "easy way," and my weight loss average for the last year or so is barely 3 lbs per month. As we tend to think of weight loss, three pounds per month doesn't even register as success, even for a person only a few pounds from goal. No magazine would sell based on a headline of "lose 3 lbs a month." Heck "Lose 3 lbs a month, without trying very hard," probably wouldn't sell a magazine. We want headlines like "lose 20 lbs a month, while you sleep."
OK, even my lazy way can't top that.
So, if you want fast results, you have to be willing and able to literally work your butt off (and on some metabolisms, you still won't get them, Sorry - that's another of the unpleasant truths).
.... And, if you don't want to work very hard, you have to except small signs of progress, some of which may not even translate into weight loss.
... And finally, if you don't want to work at all, get used to being fat. I'm not being facetious here, if you really are determined NOT to work, then abandon any thought of weight loss, and learn to love yourself fat. Have the best life you can, fat. Embrace fat acceptance to it's fullest. Join the "fat is beautiful," crowd. It may sound crazy, but during a point in my life when I wasn't willing to endure another minute of dieting as I knew it, it was the best thing I ever did, because I learned (despite all of the stuff in "the movement" that I DO NOT agree with) that most of what I thought I couldn't do because I was fat, were actually things I WOULDN'T do. I learned that even fat, I had a right to be more active, eat healthier and do so in public. I swam more (I always swam, because I loved it - but the path to the water felt like a death march. It still can be awkward, but I no longer spend it looking at my feet. I hold my head up, look around, walk slowly and gracefully (well as graceful as I can get) enter the water like I belong to be there (because I do). I learned that even large women and men can be sexy and are worthy of love (without which I wouldn't have found my large, sexy husband). I learned that I might look ridiculous on a bike, but I have a right to ride one, and I even smiled and waved at all the neighbors I was convinced were laughing their butts off - and you know when they smiled and waved back, I decided I didn't care if the sight of me made them laugh a bit - it was funny. And that perhaps was the greatest gift of all, learning to laugh at myself on the only subject I had never felt comfortable laughing at.
Life is too short to worry about things you're not willing to change. If you're not willing to change, then learn to embrace the status quo, but if you can't then your only option is to do something about it. I guess that's a lie, your other choice is to make yourself miserable over the fact that your life isn't changing.
So, if you want fast results, you have to be willing and able to literally work your butt off
I know for me when I realized that my quality of life was so poor and that I was missing out on so much and then realized that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be and then made the decision to lose the weight - I wanted the weight off - now. ASAP. In a timely fashion. And permanently - I no longer wanted to waste another day of my precious life not being all that I could be. So yes, I was willing, more then willing, to "work my butt off". I was willing to work hard. Because like Colleen said
Quote:
... And, if you don't want to work very hard, you have to except small signs of progress, some of which may not even translate into weight loss.
And that wonderful hindsight comes into play yet again - all that hard work - it was STILL easier then remaining morbidly obese. It's just "stuff" I should have been doing all along. It's how I always should have been leading/living my life. So yes it's hard - but I believe it's just the way things should be.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 04-14-2009 at 11:00 AM.
Thank you Colleen for your words of wisdom. The things you say are always so well thought out. You help everyone realize that there is not just one right way to do things. Let's hope that we all don't lose sight of that. Just because one person has sacrificed everything to lose weight quickly does not make them "superior" to the other person who is not losing quickly. And, vice versa. We all have our own paths to follow and choices to make. Hopefully, we can just be supportive of all who come here!
Yes, absolutely another beautiful and brilliant post from my friend Colleen who HAS to write a book about her weightloss journey and philosophy or I will HOUND her until she does!! (And I'm really good at that. See: Login name! )
I'm in the gotta-get-it-off-ASAP-so-I'm-willing-to-sacrifice group. My life has been on hold since I re-gained all this weight in 2003 and I refuse to do that any longer. I have to get this weight OFF so I can unpress "pause" and press "play." Things are a lot better than they were. I'm getting there. I feel great. I look better. I'm not there yet though and I CANNOT WAIT to get there. I'm done being fat. I'm through with it. It's just not who I am anymore. As others have brilliantly said, being fat is a choice (although it may not always seem that way, and it's more of a choice for some and less of a choice for others) and I choose not to be fat any longer.
Just because one person has sacrificed everything to lose weight quickly does not make them "superior" to the other person who is not losing quickly. !
Sacrificed? Sacrificed EVERYTHING? I am more then a bit confused here. Sacrificed to lose quickly? Sacrificed EVERYTHING? What have I (we) given up? What have I (we) sacrificed? I have sacrificed NOTHING, NOTHING by giving up the high calorie/high quantity of food. NOTHING. I have gained so very much. In each and every aspect of my life. I have sacrificed nothing. Nothing. I have GAINED so much. A happier, hopefully longer, more meaningful, more enjoyable, more energetic, more productive, more confident, more joyful life. A life filled with less worries. A life filled with less anxieties. Sacrificed? By giving up certain food and adding in others??? By adding in exercise?????
What in the world has anyone that has lost weight consistently and steadily sacrificed?
Yes, absolutely another beautiful and brilliant post from my friend Colleen who HAS to write a book about her weightloss journey and philosophy or I will HOUND her until she does!! (And I'm really good at that. See: Login name! )...
Uncle.
Actually DC, I've been giving this a lot of thought recently (I've had pms from three different people, and several more in posts, saying the same), and it's really made me think... "What exactly IS my weight loss philosophy," and "How on earth do I put my ramblings down on paper in a way that anyone would want to read."
And I've finally decided to do it in the way that I have here, in (relatively) small chunks. Which I guess IS my philosophy in a nutshell.... break the HUGE task into smaller, manageable chunks and then take them on at your own pace (fast or slow, doesn't matter, and you can even change the pace as you need to)... just get started. Don't wait until you have "the whole package." How many things do we put off because we want to have it all mapped out first. "I cant do z, until I do a through y first." I can't exercise, because I don't have a workout outfit (or maybe a couple). I can't diet, because I don't have money, have a job, have kids.....
I guess it applies to everything in life. If you wait for the "perfect time," to do anything, you may end up doing nothing.
