Agreed, I went to my 20 yr HS reunion, pregnant and the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life, I was swelled up like a big balloon, I was barely recognizable and I was only just barely able to wedge myself into anything remotely resembling "dressy" and I won't even bore you with the details about the man-shoes I was forced to wear because of hugely swollen feet. But despite all that, I still had fun and I went because I had always regretted not going to my 10 year one because I thought I was too fat at the time (I would kill to be that weight now, lol) Don't put your life on hold because of your weight, it will eventually cripple you. Get out there, hold your head up high and know you are starting on your very own life-changing journey. Good luck!
I just found out that a person I havent seen in 20 something years is coming to town. In jr high we were the best of friends. he saw my name on another site and contacted me and we have a emailed each other a few times and now he is moving out of the country and wants to come back to his hometown before he leaves and I am avoiding him like the plague. I have purposefully not responded back to his email because I dont want him to see me like this(100 pounds overweight). I am so sick of living like this, but I know me and I wont see him.
My cousin was in town this week and I had a picture with him and just couldnt believe how enormous I am. It was a side profile and I was just shocked at myself. I mean my head looked like a baseball on a watermelon. What is so wrong with me that I cant get it together and do something to lose this weight. I have done enough belly aching to cover half this forum but I cant get past that and do something. Its like I know I'll fail so I dont even try.
Anyway, I am the type of person who needs someone to help me. To encourage me, be there with me, and so on. I have no friends just my sister who also wants to lose weight but will not partner up with me. She tells me she just wants to do it on her own. Which she has yet to. She just refuses to help me so I feel so alone. Good grief, could I cry anymore? Actually yes I could but I wont drag on. I dont know what I need, but I need something
Please make plans to see him. I think you'll regret it if you don't. You were the best of friends years ago, not because of what you looked like, but because of who the both of you are and your common interests.
We are all here to help you. I promise you, if it wasn't for the wonderful ppl on this board, there is no way I would of lost 75 pounds.
I agree with what has been said. Get a killer outfit, pamper yourself and see him.
Start now looking in the mirror EVERY day and saying something positive about yourself. And - make each day's comment something different. Change comes from within. YOU have to think you are worth it. YOU have to do this. No one else can do it for you. 3FC is a great support - and we can help you - but YOU must commit to the change and follow through.
I named my goal story "don't wait, your life is calling". I truly believe that. Do NOT bypass things because of your weight. This scenario is a downward spiral. The less you do, the worse you will feel. The worse you feel, the less likely that you will lose weight.
So - kick yourself into gear. Take a walk, take care of yourself, put together a plan and STICK TO IT!
Now, email him back and tell him that you can't wait to see him!
Last edited by CountingDown; 04-11-2009 at 07:32 PM.
I have found that the 3FC thread "Positive Uplifting Notification: One positive thing about me today" helps me keep things in perspective. Instead of thinking of the "bad" it forces you to think of the "good" -- at least one positive thing a day, and it doesn't have to be related to weight release. Why don't you give that a try? Everyone is welcome. Here is the link: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167510
awww you little muffin, what a miserable frame of mind to be in! never mind, stick around 3FC and some of it is bound to rub off on you LOL like so many have said, support is great, but ultimately you're the one who makes the choice of what to put in your mouth - so be kinder to yourself!! how can you nourish and cherish yourself if you're not totally stoked to be YOU!!! you have to LOVE you and seeing people after 20 years is a place to start - instead of being sad or ashamed, confront it! i've done that on Facebook, running into people i haven't seen in a long time and make a crack about "yah 20 years and let's see, oh a JILLION pounds ago" something like that -- we always think we're so important LOL that people actually CARE that we gained weight, that they actually think about it for more than a 'huh, she's bigger than i remember'
This is off-topic of me, but .... I'm not on facebook, though I am paranoid that pictures of me are (because everyone else is on there, like my father who used to have pictures of me on his myspace).
Trazey, maybe you or someone else on FB knows ... are people I haven't seen in 10 years, old boyfriends, etc able to look me up on FB and find whatever godawful candid holiday pic of me eating, or whatever else dear old dad's put up? Is that how it works?
I know how you feel. The majority of my friends knew me when I was a skinny 110 lbs thing. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who saw me for the first time when I was 130 lbs eight years ago. Ever since I've gained so much weight, I've been so embarrassed with myself. I refused to have pictures taken of myself and I refused to meet up with people who haven't seen me in a while and don't know that I've gained so much weight. I used to dread it imagining the person thinking, "Wow, she really let herself go, didn't she?" In fact, I won't let my boyfriend see me on web cam or take any full body pictures. I keep stalling on meeting with him because of my weight and it's been 3 years since I've seen him. And that's why we're having problems now.
That's how I used to be. It took me a while to realize this but think about it. What's the worst thing that can happen? Your friend will see you, maybe comment on your weight and then if he's a good person he will move on and enjoy his time spent with you. You have to live your life.
As for support, I've find 3FC really helps. I'm not much of a poster, more of a lurker. Usually if I think of asking a question, I'll do a quick search and the answer is almost always there already. Everyone here is very nice.
I can feel your pain. But I want to share a couple thoughts with you. One of your "issues" is weight, we are all there. It happens to be an "issue" that is visible. I bet you have others that are not so visible, others that you can hide from everyone...right? We all have those. But that does not define our identity......He wants to contact you because of the person you are within.....not your "issues", visible or not.
And guess what, he has issues too! Guarenteed! GQ huh? Some GQ guys have serious self esteem 'issues', just like a woman they think they are never good enough. Maybe he used to be a Christian and has fallen away from his personal beliefs. Maybe he has racist tendancies......these are all things that are not visible, but could be his personal 'issues' Or maybe his 'issue' is something serious like an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling.........we never know with some people. They can keep things very hidden. Right? But does that change this great Humanitarian guy that you care about? Sure doesnt! If you found out he had a gambling issue would you still want to see him? Sure you would.
Life everyday as if it is our last.....what if something happened next month, you would be so disappointed that you did not spend time with the person you loved. Time is the best gift we can give each other.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt.
People can laugh and point at me all they want- in the end I know I'm the better person
I'm sorry you feel the way you do but I agree with the others- no one can push you to do this but yourself- all we can give is encouragement and support
It hurts my heart to read about how you are feeling. It hurts because I know exactly how you feel. I have missed so many wonderful events because of how I perceived people would see me. I have discovered that it feels better to get out there and go. I had not seen my father in 5 years. I had gained a lot of weight and the first thing he said to me was "you are so beautiful". (sigh) I realized that the special people in our lives just want to be part of our lives. Life is too short to spend it regretting. See your friend. You never know what may happen tomorrow. You may not get another chance.
I have found a whole lot of strength on 3FC. We all know how you feel and want for you to take care of yourself. You are worth it!!! You can do it!!! And...if I may add...when I did go home and saw old high school friends...they ALL had changed!!
