Alright, let me start by saying I came to America from Europe.
From a country where my parents did not own a car and we walked everywhere, and all we ate was home cooked meals. I WAS skinny there, or let's say normal. I haven't ever be seen or called fat.
I probably came to America weighing a 100-110 lbs.
That was about 4 years ago. *keep in mind I have been the same height of 5"4 since 5 years ago, so that has not changed*
My first 2 years here when I actually got old enough to start noticing guys and going out, and my body. I saw that I was getting a little big. I found my old jeans from my country and surprisingly... I could not fit into them. I quickly found a scale at a friend's house and I was... 135 lbs. That was 2 summers ago. At first I tried exercising and eating good, and I DID SEE RESULTS. But for some reason I just... stopped. And you see this repeating many other times.
Probably a year ago somebody told one of my friends "Why does she have a boyfriend if she is so fat?" which broke my heart. Again, I found a scale and I was 150. I tried exercising and eating good, saw results, and stopped. Next time I weighted myself, 155. The same thing happened, but this time I told myself at least I WILL NEVER let myself go over 155. Next time I weight myself, 160. That time I actually lost 10 lbs, got myself weights and a yoga mat... but then stopped trying ONCE AGAIN.
A few months ago I weighted myself again... I was at 169 lbs.
That was probably the worst moment of my life. I kept waiting for a new month to start so I can "start fresh"... Well let's just say that happened every month.
I wake up this morning and I actually felt good. I looked in the mirror and I thought maybe I had lost some, and maybe was back to 160 and that I'd start exercising now.
I am 175 lbs. Another embarrassing thing is my signature, and how the counter thing says 160 lbs...
I don't know why I slacked off so much. 4 years of me being on and off with my weight loss. Always me wanting to wait for the right moment. If I had started maybe 6 months ago even when I had planned, I bet you I would have been comfortable with how I look now.. but I am not. I had never kept up my exercise and diet for more than even 2 weeks. I'm very ashamed and embarrassed right now. I don't know what I'm looking for by making this thread, I guess somebody to give me a push, because it's the first time I've cried because of my weight. ):