You really have more control than you think—or perhaps want to believe? You could have gotten water at Sonic, for example. You didn't have to get the shake. I know you said you didn't want anything with ice, but even water without ice will cool you down. And, really, if it were I, I would have ordered ice water, anyway, and dealt with the ice or let it melt before drinking, because it's a far better option than a shake.
You also didn't have to order the burger with your friends. There are so many times throughout the day when you can make good choices. You can go places that serve healthier fast food, and even at places that don't you can make healthier choices than you did. I know you wanted to celebrate, but you really can do that with your goals remaining top of mind.
I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to help. If you want this to work, you have to hold yourself accountable. You do have the power to eat better and lose weight, no matter your family situation. These things I mention had nothing to do with your family at all: you made these choices all on your own. And even at your grandparents you could have not eaten the pizza. You could have not eaten the chocolate cake. You really can succeed even in the face of obstacles. For example, people post here all the time about how they avoided the goodies in the break room at work. That's how they achieve their weight-loss goals: they step away from the pizza and cake.
Maybe these really were unusual days for you. Maybe you are eating well most of the time. If you are, that's great. But you can even eat better than you are at your grandparents, and at Sonic or other fast food places and so on.... I suspect you could even convince your grandmother to make more salad. But, if that really isn't an option, then you can still avoid the least healthy options for the few days you are away from home. If you feel you are being set up to fail, you very well may fail. In fact, the chances are you will. In my opinion, the way to succeed is to believe that you alone have the power when it comes to your weight loss. And, you do.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 05-30-2010 at 09:06 PM.
Petite... no... the shake WAS the last option. I had been drinking ICE WATER and other cold drinks for the past hour and a half BEFORE I got this. Please read EVERYTHING I write before making assumptions.
And as for the burger and shake at 59 Diner... no... wasn't a wise idea. And I admitted up to that being MY OWN FAULT. Not someone else's.
The chocolate cake... no... that wasn't a wise idea either. But... because I was being stupid (and yes... I was), I thought at the time "oh... I do need a few more calories"... and look where that got me.
I ate 890 today. Not enough. And I'm FULL... HAPPY... and just finished a 40 minute run with the dogs. This is how I normally eat... and prefer eating. I do need to have a bit more though... yet... I'm not hungry. Now... I'm off to get myself a big glass of water.
I know you guys aren't trying to be mean, or the enemies... and you're not... at all!!! You're being VERY helpful... and I"m grateful. I'm simply explaining my situation a bit better... because you're seeing it through your eyes. I'm not everybody. In the past (and recently), I've gotten into the habit of eating everything put in front of me... whether I want to or not. So... it's that I have to break. Which could be the "control" issue that you're talking about.
But... I do have to say... please... please read everything over COMPLETELY before making assumptions and pointing fingers. I do have issues... yes... quite a few actually. But not the ones YOU guys are thinking I have... I'd just like help on the issues I do have... not the ones I don't. (and... control is sometimes my issue... I let family members take control when I myself should be the one taking control).
So yeah... just finished my run and took a shower... now off to have a BIG glass of ice water.
Interesting thread. Really. People are just trying to throw out ideas and help. I think you know that you didn't get to be overweight by hardly eating (I know, I know. You don't like it, you don't crave it, you just eat it because it's there) but you have to take more responsibility for your food choices. If I even think about having a shake I can gain five pounds. Good luck.
I'm not saying I gained this weight by hardly eating, not craving things, etc. I gained it because I WAS overeating, and felt like I loved all of this food that I really didn't. Now that I'm not... I'm really not craving things or WANTING to eat.
Huge difference in one time and another here. Please actually read what I"m saying before making assumptions about what I"m saying.
I'm NOT perfect. I do have issues. My issues just aren't the same as YOURS though... which is what is annoying me... because I"m being lumped into the majority. I'm not saying I'm "oh so individual"... but just because one person thinks a certain way doesn't mean that EVERYONE thinks a certain way.
I'm reading over all of their advice... like... five times. Gleaning TONS from it. And if it seemed as though I wasn't... I'm sorry.
But... when someone says "I know you said you didn't like ice water", when in my post I had never said anything of the kind, but that I HAD ALREADY been drinking ice water... I feel the need to explain and defend my position there.
Maybe I'm just being silly and stupid. Maybe I'm going to fail. I'm owning up to responsibility. I made poor choices on Friday and Saturday. Who ever said I was saying it was ALL someone else's fault. Yeah... I DO have to eat what is made for me when I'm at my Grandparents house. But I should not have eaten that piece of pizza. My own fault. I should not have eaten that burger, and the two shakes. I'll admit that. I'm sorry I'm not all "oh... it's all my fault... I need to get back on track". I already am on track... again. For now.
I know I'll fall off the bandwagon again. And it'll be my own darn fault.
It's not THAT. It's that everyone so far has been assuming many different things when all of the answers are easily available simply by looking at my past posts.
I feel great. I had more veggies and salad stuff Sunday... and went for a run then as well. I'm not saying it was easy. But I like salads. Better than I do sugary stuff. What I DO have issues on is actually getting my butt of the chair and MOVING. So... if you want to encourage me and give me advice/lectures on something... do it on things like that... THAT is what I have issues on... not keeping control over my cravings... since I really am NOT craving sugary things. I actually feel nausious when thinking about 'em. Sorry you're not like that. I DON'T LIKE TO BE LIKE THIS... because most of the time it's not just the sugary stuff that's bad for me... but everything. I've never said I gained all of this weight by not eating. NOT AT ALL. I gained all of this weight because I would mindlessly eat. And I was always told "cookies are good", so my mind associated a cookie with something good. Even if cookies weren't exactly what I naturally would have preferred to eat. It's all associations in my mind.
I'm apparently losing something. I went for a run yesterday. The pants I wore that last Monday fit me well and semi-tightly were slipping down yesterday. So apparently something's working... and I DO have you guys to thanks for that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: don't make assumptions. Make sure you read everything that people said before making assumptions about how they act, think, and what their situation is.
I do want to thank all of you guys... for caring. Even if I might not fall at your feet bowing for the advice you gave me... I really am very thankful for it all.
Maybe starting a blog where you don't accept comments would be more helpful to your journey than posting on a message board where, by its nature, people are going to leave comments, make assumptions, skim posts, etc.
You can't change how people read or post, but you can change your reaction to it. And instead of focusing on what people are saying and why it's all wrong, turn all that energy inward and use it to propel you forward, not get all scattered caring about things and people who don't matter.
Hey girl, I certainly can't point my finger at you because we've all been there.
This last Wednesday, I had a planned Chinese "binge" with my friend who is doing Weight Watchers and is also doing a great job losing weight. We went nuts at the Chinese buffet. I literally made myself sick with how much Chinese food I ate, lol, no joke. Then we went out for frozen yogurt after. I think I had an equal amount of toppings (oreo pieces, reeces pieces, caramel syrup, etc) as I did of chocolate yogurt. Sure, I probably ate 3 times my daily calorie allowance. Sure, I probably gained. But it CERTAINLY reminded me why I do NOT eat like that anymore, lol. I felt like poop on a stick for two days after. Bloated, literally nauseous, sluggish, and just generally had a tummyache. By the time I recovered, I was back to normal on the scale, and I was craving healthy food, water, and didn't want to even imagine going over 1200 calories.
Point being, there WILL be bumps on the road. Planned or unplanned cheats, miscalculated calories, I am a firm believer that sometimes you just can't deny yourself food-just-for-the-fun-of-it as long as it's a very rare treat and within moderation. This is a lifestyle change, as in we are promising ourselves to live this way for the rest of our lives. It would be silly to tell myself that I will never eat too much at a Chinese buffet again. But, what used to be a weekly event is now something I want to do maybe once a year. It happens. But it won't screw up your progress in the long run if you jump right back on plan. I went crazy with Chinese food, but that doesn't mean I woke up in the morning back at 183lbs. It just set me back a few days, no biggie.
I think what seagirl posted has a good point. When someone posts on forums like this, they are going to get what they get. People have to try to be polite here--3FC doesn't allow abusive or flaming posts--but no one is going to have read everything you wrote, or every thread you put up, or have kept in mind all the details and wording you put in. Yes, some will take what you say the wrong way. Some will make assumptions that are incorrect. Some will miss the point. That's just how it goes!
I'm not saying I gained this weight by hardly eating, not craving things, etc. I gained it because I WAS overeating, and felt like I loved all of this food that I really didn't. Now that I'm not... I'm really not craving things or WANTING to eat.
I guess this is what is confusing many of us. If you are not wanting or craving foods NOW, why do you weigh more today than your starting weight?
Most of us have all, "been there-done that". As my Grandma used to say, "You cannot kid a kidder"
[QUOTE=Serbrider;3315381]
MegantheMushroom... maintenance? I don't really know. Probably around 1800... if it's what I'm thinking it is. That's what I can eat without gaining right? Then around 1800 to 2000 with my height and weight. I really don't know. I feel better with the 1200 I've been eating... even if I am trying to eat a bit more.[QUOTE]
Maitenance is the amount of calories you need to not gain weight, and to not lose it either, it's probably a bit higher than 2000 for you
Mine is around 2000- 2300, Im still trying to figure it out
For some of us, part of the process of losing weight includes taking a hard look at ourselves & discovering, to our surprise & pain & embarassment, that we have elements of an addict's personality. (Or that we're plain, out-and-out addicts, only it's food, not alcohol or heroin, that's our substance of choice.) And one of these elements is lack of honesty with oneself & inability to accept blame & personal fallibility. Which includes the ability to rationalize everything. Or to find a worthy, blameless cause behind all our of actions. The cure for this is relentless self-interrogation. It means confronting the ugliest parts of ourselves & looking hard at those thoughts & actions. It means acknowledging our own ability to deceive ourselves. Not being evasive. Not coming up with good stories. And for many, of us, it means posting that ugly junk here.
Because of this, we're used to looking at people laying it all on the line & expecting to be called on their bulls*t. We're used to helping them deconstruct the old toxic stories they've been telling themselves. It's with that kind of critical eye that we read each others' posts sometimes. And so that is another kind of reading you are liable to get when you post here. It is different from unconditional positivity & taking a person's story completely at face value, as the literal truth. It is much more interrogatory. "Tough love" is another label for it. You will get some responses like that if you post here. Because that's just how some of us operate.
But... when someone says "I know you said you didn't like ice water", when in my post I had never said anything of the kind, but that I HAD ALREADY been drinking ice water... I feel the need to explain and defend my position there.
That isn't what I said at all. I said you didn't want anything with ice, because I did read everything you wrote—every last word. I just read between the lines as well.
I also read close enough to see that you did not accept responsibility for your eating in the initial thread. You even laughed a bit about the day in the subject line.
When you recounted eating out with your friends, you said you didn't eat the fries—as if that made the fact that you ate the burger and shake OK. You didn't own up to anything. Instead, you said you planned not to eat again for the rest of the day—a very unhealthy approach to a splurge early in the day—in order to make up for it. But then you ended up going on a road trip and ate quite a bit more throughout the day—something, again, you blamed on a hot car, a temporary aversion to ice, and the food choices at your grandmother's house.
It wasn't until this thread that you admitted some culpability. That's good—it really is—but your weight-loss efforts would be better served if you could accept responsibility for your eating before actually ingesting the food. It wasn't until the third time that you mentioned the Sonic shake, for example, that you finally admitted you shouldn't have eaten it. Before that you continued to protest that you had no choice.
You also continue to say you don't have cravings anymore, but what you choose to eat says otherwise.
Good luck to you on your journey. I'm glad you made the decision to lose weight so early in your life and wish you the very best. But I do think you need to consider taking a closer look at what you eat and why, and how you can make positive lifestyle changes. You say that you let your family take control. What I get from your postings is that you willingly abdicate control. It's easier to accept indulgences if you convince yourself that you had no choice. You can say, "I'll do better tomorrow, when I am in control again"—but, because you haven't allowed yourself to dig to the real root of the issue, which lies within yourself, the cycle inevitably repeats, and you don't end up making the progress you desire.
No one is suggesting that you wring your hands and wallow in guilt. That isn't healthy, either. But, in my opinion, weight-loss success is contingent upon a degree of self-introspection and an acceptance of culpability. When you accept that you control how you eat, you can also learn to eat what you should. This is a lot to ask of a teenager. But it is the key to success at any age.
ETA: I just saw saef's post. That is it exactly.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 05-31-2010 at 04:38 PM.
Serbrider -
sounds like water weight to me! - I just experienced EIGHT POUNDS of it myself on my last TOM. Then when all was said & done, I weighed again on my normal weigh day with my normal weigh-in routine (early a.m. before brekkie, nekkied as a jaybird, etc!) and it's gone again. WHEW!
I know how you feel tho! - Water weight or fat weight, NOBODY likes to see that freak'n scale number go higher! But I really do think it's water weight you're experiencing.
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 05-31-2010 at 12:29 PM.
At 5'11 and 215lbs, OP's maintenance is in the 2500 range (varying on activity level). While well-intended MissKelly, I strongly have to disagree with some advice.
1. That any 5'11/215lb person should be cutting down to 1200-1400 calories which is nearly half of maintenance. This falls into a bit of an extreme.
3. Whey protein shakes being filling. I'm a body builder myself~ I've been using shakes for many years, including when gaining to train for a competition. Shakes are useful calorie supplements, but 30g protein in a chicken breast (around 100g total chicken) is far more filling than 30g scoop of whey. This is a personal preference, but I've never heard anyone say that whey shakes are more filling than actual food until now.
I can see why OP is getting defensive- she has received some well-intended but (from my view) inaccurate advice, leading to further confusion and frustration.
Rather than eating "too little... too much.. too little.. too much" and constantly fluxing/rebounding, maybe eating just under maintenance (1800? 2000?) over a longer period of time could be a better solution for the OP. It could help break this cycle of frustration.
Petite said you didn't want a drink with ice, because YOU said you didn't want a drink with ice. Perhaps taking a bit of your own advice and reading others' posts carefully as well would help.
PS Adding in a winky face does not negate a mean spirited comment.
Don't shoot the messengers!
I do have issues... yes... quite a few actually. But not the ones YOU guys are thinking I have... I'd just like help on the issues I do have... not the ones I don't. 
(and... control is sometimes my issue... I let family members take control when I myself should be the one taking control).
