I am still holding, buttoned my pants yesterday but had to hold my breath to do it. Yesterday was medical appointments most of the day, back to back appointments, makes for a tiring day but it means only one trip to Sacramento, so that part is good. Because I am tied up at Kaiser most of the day it keeps me out of the refrigerator. There is a bright side to everything.

Thanks Megan for your kind words. Dh spoke to the wife at the dive shop-- it is a husband and wife shop. She was very understanding and said she took a long time herself in learning. I'm thinking that as I get more comfortable with snorkeling-- I've only done it on the surface and only a few times-- I might be willing to revisit the scuba. We did do a "intro to scuba" course a few months ago and I didn't panic then-- we had the regulators on and they went much slower so I think I didn't overthink things too much.

Saef-- I wish I was there to shake you! Really!?!? I hope you pull yourself out of your ridiculous self hatred talk. I didn't like what my scale said this morning either (I do weigh every day), but I was much kinder to myself-- I'm quite sore so I think I'm retaining fluid-- I haven't done cardio in a few days but plan to today which usually helps lose some of the fluid, etc. Hugs!!

Has anyone ever been or is a pescatarian? I'm debating going that route. The only thing I worry about missing is chicken. I rarely eat any other meats except for fish and shellfish.

I think I'd miss chicken as well. And perhaps a steak once in a while. These days, especially when we eat out, I choose a fish dish because otherwise it'll knock the calorie count way out! I think I'd be more comfortable with semi-vegetarianism where you eat vegetarian most of the time and have an occasional meal with some sort of meat.

I could give up red meat, I think but I couldn't give up eggs and dairy and I do want a tunafish sandwich once in awhile, and I pretty much stick to fish when I dine out at a restaurant.

saef, don't MAKE me drive 3 hours west to punch that toxic demon on your shoulder in its (wrong, incorrect, lying, deceitful, poisonous) face.

I would miss chicken a lot, but there are many kinds of fish and seafood out there. If I found one that tasted like chicken and lasted a week in the fridge like chicken does, I could take the plunge.

I think I'm at that crossroads where it is mattering less how much I weigh and mattering more how my clothes fit (all too big now! hooray!) and how much activity I have gotten. Still secretly hoping for a whoosh tomorrow morning.

I wouldn't give up eggs or dairy, just meat.

My dd pointed out to me that if I wasn't doing it strictly for religious or ethical reasons, I could always "cheat" and have chicken once in awhile. I currently eat chicken every day at lunch (I make a wrap with chicken breast) so I'd have to alter my lunches for sure!

Michele, I'm a proud omnivore. :) That's the only label I've ever wanted - will try anything and everything. I don't ever want to be restricted because something's in a "forbidden" food group. Certainly there are foods I avoid and those I emphasize for caloric, health, and value reasons ... it's not the foods that are the problem, it's the people applying the labels, KWIM?

saef - oh man, I know that voice! I was challenged by a psychologist once to write down on the left side of a piece of paper all the things the voices were saying. On the right side, I had to provide facts that supported those statements/criticisms/accusations. It's pretty obvious how that turned out - the voice is a bunch of hot air. You've gone through therapy - you know that already. Still, it's hard to shut the little %^&*er up. That's when I think having a heavy bag in the basement to punch and kick would be great thing, so that you can beat the bejeezus out of something and visualize that smug little voice. :D I have to admit I'm afraid I'd hurt myself in my zeal. :hug:

bargoo - right on - there are bright sides and silver linings! Congrats on gaining room in the pants.

krampus - I'm making that shift too. I've been thinking a lot about what I really want from my body and my health, and the scale just keeps fading further into the background. I don't doubt that I can get down to 140 if I wanted to badly enough - I just don't think I'll like what I see any better for doing it.

I need ... to get out of my head and into my life.

I love this. It is extremely profound.;)

Canada used to be a fishing nation. Now I find it too expensive to eat any fresh fish more than once a week. Frozen fish is . . . frozen fish. Mushy, tasteless, etc. I have never been a canned tuna fan and DH abhors canned salmon, which I do like, so those are out as meal options. I will stick with mainly chicken and pork, which are regularly on sale at 30% off at our supermarket. Sometimes I score a deal on steak or a roast but that's less and less often. And I jump on the frozen shrimp the one or two times a year it comes on sale.

I had hoped DH's completion of the CMA and subesequent job would offer us a bit more money and choice in the food department. Hasn't happened yet.

Dagmar :moo:

DD tried to kill me today. She made me do a 7-day free pass at World Gym and she took me and had me do some upper body and ab stuff. Granted I know I'm deficient in upper body strength, and I'm happy I was able to do as much as I did, but one exercise hurt right away and now I'm mad at myself for allowing me to do several reps before stopping. I've injured my right shoulder a couple of times and the only relief is to tape my arm to my torso while sleeping to allow it to rest and heal. I think that it's a slight rotator cuff tear, which I understand WILL heal if you don't use the arm--that's how I've made the pain go away in the past. I know it isn't as bad as in the past, but I'm hoping it isn't worse in the morning. Anyway, at this point just hoping it doesn't mess up my golf game as DH and I are golfing all three days this weekend. And it's going to be a FABULOUS weekend! Highs at about 85-90 which is a whole lot better than the 108 we've been seeing.

Well! Happy to report that I woke up without pain from the workout yesterday! And also happy that 2.5 of the 4.5 I've gained back is gone!

We went to see Battleship last night in XD (Extreme Digital). Typical blow-em-up movie but it was interesting in XD. The screen was really big (not as big as IMAX, but close), the sound was incredible--at times it rumbled through the theater and you felt as if you were getting a massage! I'm not sure about the price, though. Granted it was a nighttime movie (usually we see matinees that are around $7), but $13.50 for a ticket? Outrageous!

I find that this time of year I'm easily able to slip "into my life and out of my head", and appreciate my body for its functionality, more easily than in the winter time. This is my field season at work and I'm always very busy, running from one thing to the next and outside a lot doing physical things. Likewise on the weekends there are more outdoor events. Add some gym trips, dog walks, cooking some healthy dinners, and I'm exhausted every night and don't have time to be upset about my weight or... In the winter I'm generally not as busy, suffer more from boredom eating, and have more time to beat myself up about it.

Allison, sorry your shoulder is hurting.

Speaking of being busy... I'd hoped to do more individual posts but have to run to a conference call. Have a great day all! :)

allison, thank goodness your shoulder's okay! Rotator cuff tears are scary. I haven't seen any theaters with the XD around here - it sounds cool!

Yesterday I spent a few minutes in the morning doing a few lunges, crunches, and knee pushups - instead of my typical routine of lying in bed thinking about how the day was going to go. I'm pleased to report that the world did not end, I woke up faster, and the few muscles I used are screaming their "THANK YOU!!!"s. :D Except for my abs. They are ignoring me, so I will try to get their attention again after work.

My weight is down a little over a pound from yesterday's high, but I suspect it's still too high, as my hormones are acting up, with time of month marching onward relentlessly into its tenth day.

Tonight I'm getting a facial at a day spa in the village. I knew my little hometown had changed when this place opened up several years ago. This was probably to cater to the women who inhabit the very tall houses with the really high-ceilinged entry halls which all got plonked down on neighbors' cornfields. The old guard who live in their longtime family homes -- the Greek Revivals and Victorians within the village itself -- definitely do not go for tanning beds, feather extensions or Rejuvaderm injections. They are busy gardening, breeding dogs, doing genealogy projects, running the church thrift shop or organizing the used-book sales at the library. They are leathery and freckled, have gone to the same hairdresser for 20 years & would never have supported such a business.

Depending on which scale I go by (I weigh myself on 2 most mornings: bf's and mine), I could be tied for my ultimate all-time low weight. And there has been no starving, no binging on peanut butter, and very little feeling restricted.