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Threadkiller XVIII-All Growed up and Ready to Party

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Old 05-11-2010, 11:27 AM   #76
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Bill, spontaneous sanity ain't gonna happen with this bunch...I guarantee it!

Midwest checking in...cloudy and rainy but little wind (whew glad for that)
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:54 AM   #77
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Wacky Floridian checking in, 80.1F, 61% humidity, Scattered cloud & brains .

My home base is up to 80.7F & 71% humidity.
Muggy as all heck.

And it is only going to get hotter.

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Old 05-11-2010, 03:38 PM   #78
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every freaking minute of it.
 
Old 05-11-2010, 08:49 PM   #79
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I was spontaneous once....twice!...they call me daddy now.
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Old 05-12-2010, 12:08 AM   #80
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Insanity is under-rated!
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Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Old 05-12-2010, 08:40 AM   #81
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You can get away with lots of things if you are considered insane. I do it all the time. Of course, in a wee village of 300 people, any slight deviation from the alleged "norm" really shows!

Works for me!
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Old 05-12-2010, 09:41 AM   #82
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I find that the silly/goofy/wacky/crazy/weird tend to group together.

I know that my friends are all of the above in different amounts,
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Old 05-12-2010, 10:27 AM   #83
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I'm up ! So far I have taken my dog for a pee pee walk, put a load of clothes in the washer, boiled two eggs , made a pot of coffee and am now ready to tackle the crossword puzzle.
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Old 05-12-2010, 10:32 AM   #84
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Oh, Bargoo, that sounds delightful!

*forces herself to get back to entering in survey data*

*sigh*
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Old 05-12-2010, 12:03 PM   #85
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It was only a little before 10 and my dh called and wanted 2 know what I wanted for lunch? I am like...IT IS BEFORE 10...and he says, "I know, but I am hungry already" Geesh a gal can't even have a peaceful morning without being reminded of FOOD from her dh!

Of course when he mentions food, this is what I think of:


Do you see a problem with my vision?
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Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Old 05-12-2010, 12:17 PM   #86
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Wahhhhhhhh!!!

I dunno Cathy, but there is sure a problem with mine!

Back, back! Back, foul food beast!!!

*fear*

*hides under her desk thinking good thoughts*

Carrots, yogurt, apples, almonds...

*whimper*
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Old 05-13-2010, 01:32 PM   #87
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Did the large font scare everyone away? It's been over 24 hours!
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Old 05-13-2010, 01:36 PM   #88
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A riddle for the day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?
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Old 05-13-2010, 02:03 PM   #89
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At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.

On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"


A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Last edited by zanheltangia : 05-13-2010 at 02:19 PM. Reason: Spamming the thread, just a little ;)
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Old 05-13-2010, 03:08 PM   #90
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gurgle***gurgle*** coming out from under water..trying to dry out- ahhh bright yellow orb come out and dry us up.....

OK Zan: What's the answser??
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