9 days! Seems small but is a great accompoishment as it has been several months since able to get even one week. Challenge, it is now weekend and 2 bbq's and a birthday. Planning to decline the snacks/drinks and cake. Taking my own sugar free soft drinks and carrot sticks to share as my snackers. Worked last week at my house. Hope it works at my sister's house. Want to maintain the momentum of loss that I got at this week's WI
jen- that tea really works for you, I discovered that eating something spicy kills any cravings for sweets. I've been cooking spicy stuff to keep in the fridge so I can just grab it. Like roasted veggies w/ fresh garlic & pepper.
Beila- Great, so happy for you. Doesn't it feel good?
Day 6- don't even need to binge or overeat, I'm eating what I want with only a few guidelines( no rules anymore) that are just healthy habits I've had for the past 3 yrs. I'm cooking my own healthy meals, a large variety so I will never get bored w/ what I'm eating. I don't even drool when I go past the bakery at the market, I know I can go home & make my own baked goods. I'm finally at peace, not having that internal struggle over food. It's been so long since I've been this happy!
made it 5 days. today will be 6 if i make it. yesterday was a bad struggle. i'm feeling it again today. just want to make it through so badly, but yet for some reason, i miss binging.
I was out of town for a couple of days, but I finished Day 22 yesterday, so three weeks binge free! Here is to getting to a month. I ate crap yesterday, but two meals and did not binge.
fruit lady, yes that chai is awesome. I am craving it right now. I am about to end another IF, and I am out. I will have something healthy like cucumbers/tomatoes/black olives in some extravirgin olive oil dressing...and a few other things--then off to the store to get some more. I am so thankful you have won the battle with food.
heather, try to wrap your mind around why you need to binge. What does it do for you? then come up with another idea that gives you the same feeling without the bad effects. hang in there girl.
chloe, wow, almost a month. good thing. And you can eat "crap" and not binge. the binging is unhealthy. a little bit of "crap" foods are not going to hurt.
krampus, day 5. you can do it.
afm: I am feeling less and less bingey. but seeing the scale not moving makes me say screw it in my brain. HOwever, i am losing inches...and my waist is coming back postpartum...so I want to keep going.
sigh. i didn't make it. i tried so hard to resist, but it seemed next to impossible. it is so draining when it is all i can think about. i thought about it a lot yesterday and made it through, and felt better this morning, but by early afternoon the thoughts were back full force and super strong. i fought hard with myself, so many reasons not to binge, but then it seemed that everything went wrong and i thought screw it i can't fight it anymore. i felt so relieved at first, but of course now i am just mad at myself and wishing i weren't back to square one...yet again.
i wish i understood why i am doing this to myself. i don't know if it is because i am undereating or trying to fill some emotional void. i think it is both. i've tried to fix both, but am having a hard time. i'm just so disappointed.
Day 10!
Heather29-the good thing is that you are back and still trying! You will make is further and further-I am sure. This day 10 for me is the first time I have made it this far/long in months!
heather-It's mentally draining, that internal struggle. It ruined my life for 2yrs. Allowing myself to have what I want everyday( mostly healthy & junk when I want) and adding a variety helped so much. I don't have to fight or struggle anymore, I'm so happy now.
Jen- thank you, so glad your making progress losing inches, that's what counts!
Day 7- Did good, made veggie lasagna as healthy as I could, you can't even taste the difference. Had all healthy meals, 1.5 cups of ice cream after lunch cause I was still hungry, had lasagna for dinner & only ate til I was full. Went over calories cause of the lasagna, I didn't go over board on anything!
i've been pretty miserable tonight, cried some and just feeling generally down that i seem so caught up in this. but i talked to my hubby about it and told him what was going on. i hope it helps me...although i have talked to my sister about it in the past and it hasn't...so i don't know.
i wish i understood the underlying issues that make me binge. i know back last summer when it started it was that i wasn't eating enough with the exercise i was doing, nursing and taking care of baby. when the little one started nursing less and i kept track of what i was eating, i stayed on track for a long time. although i also did let myself have treats every once in a while...but it was still hard for me to do so. i also tried my best to keep all known binge foods out of the house. i struggled after christmas for some reason, no idea why, but i started doing the insanity workout and following that nutrition guide and i think that is when i really started to get even more obsessed with my workouts and what i was eating. then after my mom passed it went even more downhill and that is when i really started binging again. i think in some ways, i turned to focusing on the exercise and weight because it gave me something to think about other then losing my mom. of course it is only making me more miserable though...
i know i have a problem with allowing myself "bad" foods, but for a while, i always had my one cheat day (meal more like it) and a day when i upped my calories and that was fine for me. now i freak out even when i have the cheat meal and obsess about it for days afterwards. and then i tend to binge and that is worse.
i've read a lot about nutrition and weight gain, etc., over my life, and i know one cookie, one meal is not going to make me gain weight. yet my brain often tells me otherwise. it is a hard battle.
as i said earlier, it is just so tiring to fight the urge to binge. especially when it is all i can think about. then the little one woke up after an all too brief nap so i got nothing done, i dropped my just frozen blueberries all over the floor and i was just feeling so crappy...i wanted all the stuff i don't normal allow myself to have. i guess i just don't know how to appropriately fight my urge yet.
it was so much easier when i didn't even think about what i was putting in my mouth and trying to lose weight. i sometimes think i will never get back to that place...
sorry for the novel. just getting out my thoughts.
tomorrow will be day 1 for me again. i know i can make it longer then 5 days because i've done it in the past. and not too long ago at that. i just hate the way i feel right now.
heather, it seems that you are processing your grief from when your mother died. The food right now is a crutch. something ideal in your life got shattered, you lost your mom. so now you are trying to recapture that feeling of living an ideal life. you lost control when your momma died--so you are controlling your food with a vengeance. however, this is causing an internal struggle in you that is totally WIPING you out.
It is important you try to find balance again. One way you may be able to gain control over this is by going out to eat with hubby. maybe have a small sundae with him. Make sure you talk about what a nice treat that icecream is, and that it is good to eat a favorite treat every once in a while. DO NOT punish yourself for allowing yourself to have that treat. in a public setting, there is usually no room to binge. I think you need to desensitize yourself to the "bad" feeling you get when you eat junk.
believe me I totally understand this feeling. As a teenager I would NOT permit myself to digest anything but wholesome foods, so I would go on binges of junk food..and purge that...then find some clean wholesome food to eat, and I would keep it down.
desires, remember the good things you are doing for yourself and how they make you feel. keep going.
fruitlady, your cooking sounds scrumptious. I love veggie lasagna.
afm: Ok this is stupid, but it is important to think about why we each individually binge. I cooked yesterday chicken and ribs and squash. I meant to have some food for us to eat today. Then there were kids and adults everywhere--i love to feed people. So i gave a few bites here and there--but had no where enough to feed everybody. I realized my SO and my friend would only get like 2 ribs and I totally got bingey.
I wanted to binge because I didn't have enough dinner to feed everyone???? crazy girl. This kept on. I had some yummy mousse cake in my fridge. I told myself I could have a sliver. well I had a sliver, then another sliver about an hour later. I stared long and hard at that cake. so easy to just eat the whole thing, not very big...and then I put it right back up in the freezer.
i tried so hard to resist, but it seemed next to impossible. it is so draining when it is all i can think about. i thought about it a lot yesterday and made it through, and felt better this morning, but by early afternoon the thoughts were back full force and super strong. i fought hard with myself, so many reasons not to binge, but then it seemed that everything went wrong and i thought screw it i can't fight it anymore. i felt so relieved at first, but of course now i am just mad at myself and wishing i weren't back to square one...yet again. 
