today is my Day 1 and even though I feel absolutely horrible from my past 4 days of binging, I'm gonna try my best to move on.
this morning I almost binged again from the guilt but stopped myself
I still feel like raiding the kitchen but writing this is helping me keep my mind off it.
Also, I have a question:
before I went on my 4 day binge, I weighed around 113lbs. this morning I woke up to find out that I now weigh 117lbs. even though i overate during those 4 days, I still did some cardio and yesterday I drank looots of water. can some of the weight that's been gained still be from water retention?
or maybe I just still have the food in my tummy and need to eat more fibre to "get it out" ??
I know I ate a lot but 4lbs gained is like consuming 14,000 extra calories and I'm pretty sure I didn't go that far this time..
any ideas? this weight gain is making me feel SO miserable and makes me wanna binge even more
mk1014, First of all, welcome to the binge-free challange We're on the same day. I made it till day 10 and then it went a bit downhill..I think though that the most important thing is to not give up. You can think about it like this, you binged for 4 days...so it will take you around 4 days to undo the damage. If you feel bad about binging and you binge because of that if will take you X more days to undo the damage. The fixing starts now. And I don't think you permanently gained 4 pounds during those 4 days. So many things can influence the scale. Water, TOM, time of day etc so don't worry about the scale for now. Just do your best and you will lose those 4 pounds easily again I'm sure
hi there Nile, thanks for that reply. I def hope it's not a permanent gain but either way I will spend the week coming up working harder!
also props to you for going 10 days binge-free! that's awesome!
best of luck to both of us on getting back on track!
Cheryl, you're right, and I know you're right. I remember my heart racing, waking up the next morning feeling the dryness in my skin, my eyes, everywhere. Heartburn. And you're also right that having gone 6 months without doing it, it would feel even worse.
But I still want to, and that's totally screwed up. I just wish I could be normal about it. Be able to, from time to time, order a pizza when I just don't feel like cooking, and not eat the whole thing. But I can't. Or buy a bag of candy to enjoy over the course of a month or two instead of a day or two. It's so frustrating.
None the less, I am closing in on the end of day 185--I know I can't go back, but I wish it didn't have to be such a struggle everyday, and part of that is feeling like I'm so different from other people.
Almost through the weekend... definitely the hardest time because my husband and kids are around eating all the time. Missed my 1500 cal target yesterday but, so far, think I will make it today. Fortunately, there was neither time nor opportunity to binge but definitely lots of of sneaking snacks (son is learning to bake.... sigh).
happytobeamom - Much sympathy and support to you on deciding to leave a relationship that isn't right for you. Been there, done that. It was very difficult to be alone at first but I eventually learned to enjoy it. And I actually lost 25 lb because I put so much energy into taking care of myself - my single periods were probably the healthiest times of my life. And excellent thinking to put soap on top of the stuff you threw out.
i76 - one of my favourite binges has curling up on the couch with a good book, a bag of chips, and a bowl of dip - 1200 calories consumed in a shot, absent mindedly eating the chips long after I have stopped enjoying them. Forcing myself to pay attention to what I am consuming helps a lot. Today we were shopping and my husband bought each of us a single chocolate. The pleasure of slowly letting it dissolve in my mouth was exquisite. Eating mindfully can be a great pleasure (plus it helped he only bought me one).
wow as if I didn't even last a whole day...
binged again like crazy and now I wanna crawl in a hole and die
ughhh I feel like a monster, my binges haven't been this bad in quite a while and now I'm back where I started...
Day 9- Went good , we went to a farmer's market & I was surrounded by all types of food. The candy & baked goods are always my only weakness, I never crave greasy, fried, fast food. My hubby bought candy he liked, I said no candy for me. I don't want it in the house, can't wait til he eats it all. I'm not crazy about the kind he bought, so it's not even worth eating. I've been eating clean for 9 days, that's how I lost 65lbs. 16mo. ago. I don't even crave junk like I used to. A clean diet really helps me, I love the food I eat & am quite satisfied with living this way forever. Did any of you ever try it?
mk1014- I just wanted to say welcome & you can stop this. Start now, it's never too late. I found that control was my problem, so I just stopped buying my trigger foods. If it's not here, I can't eat it. I haven't had a real binge( 5000 calories) in 3 mo, which made me so sick, i passed out on my bathroom floor. I've been working on not over eating( usually 2700 calories) now. I guess it's a gradual thing for me. But, there is hope and you can stop, it just takes time. You can do it!!!!
fruitlady - hey there, well my problem is that my mom keeps bringing in all these tempting foods and even though no one forces me to eat them, it's extremely hard for me to control myself. especially when i've already binged for 4 days, making today the 5th and feeling angry and stressed about it which triggers it more. I know that if I can go atleast 3 days binge-free again, I can have my control back but starting again is the most difficult thing in the world and i'm crying my eyes out as I write this because I haven't felt so out of control in such a long time. I know i've had bumps in the road in the past and gotten over them but this time I really feel hopeless and pathetic. I just really wish I can get myself to believe that I am strong enough to get back on track but it seems impossible
even though i overate during those 4 days, I still did some cardio and yesterday I drank looots of water. can some of the weight that's been gained still be from water retention?
We're on the same day. I made it till day 10 and then it went a bit downhill..I think though that the most important thing is to not give up. You can think about it like this, you binged for 4 days...so it will take you around 4 days to undo the damage. If you feel bad about binging and you binge because of that if will take you X more days to undo the damage. The fixing starts now. And I don't think you permanently gained 4 pounds during those 4 days. So many things can influence the scale. Water, TOM, time of day etc so don't worry about the scale for now. Just do your best and you will lose those 4 pounds easily again I'm sure 
hi there Nile, thanks for that reply. 
