Hello friends. I have a problem and hope I can get some welcome advice. I work with 5 other women and all thin. I am about 45 lbs overweight. I have been doing ww and have lost 26 lbs. At least 4 days a week they bring treats, or want to order out for lunch. My problem is if I decline I feel like an outsider, or if I eat with them I hate myself. I have brought OP treats and they think they are not as good as the "real" thing and don't have a problem telling me so. I have worked with them for many years and all are very close and hate to be like an outsider. Maybe I am just afraid to cause a problem, but this is very important to me. After I weigh in, they ask what I lost and then tekl me"It can't be that hard. Why don't you just do it". Thanks for listening.....
I don't mean to sound cynical, but a TRUE friend wants what is best for you. What is best for you is to stay OP, eat what will get you to goal and be at the weight that is right for you, your health and your happiness.
They are talking out of both sides of their mouths. On the one hand they want you to eat what they bring to work; and then on the other hand they are telling you "it can't be that hard, why don't you just do it?"
You need to look yourself in the mirror and say, "I DESERVE TO BE THIN!" Get tough and put yourself first. They certainly aren't doing that. They are putting themselves first and probably don't really want you to join them in the thin world.
YOU CAN DO THIS! Look how far you've come already. GO FOR IT, SWEETIE!
keep doing what you are doing. One thing that is a very difficult reality is that this has to become your way of life. You will face people like this forever and now is a great time to elize that youan, and unfortuately me too, can not eat anything or as much as I want to reach or stay at goal.
So keep bringing your lunch and snacks and know you are doing the right thing for you and that is the est you can be expected to do.
-L
PS if you do like to go out with them, take some time to look at the menues and how they can work for you. A veggie sub at a pizza place, grilled chiken and othe low point lunches may make you feel part of the group, just figure out how to make this livestyle work for you.
Years ago when I first went to WW, the leader called the type of "friends" you are describing "friendly enemies." They may not want you to succeed without even knowing it. Continue to bring your lunch and your treats. If they don't want them, that's fine. As for ordering out, you can get chicken or fish or salads. Continued good luck.
WINDWOOD, I agree with Carrie. As hard as it is to hear this, you have to know that these ladies are not your friends ! True friends would be supportive and would want what's best for YOU!
You'll just have to make sure you continue being your own best friend and make the choices that will bring YOU closer to YOUR goal. Of course that doesn't mean you can't go out for lunch with your co-workers, it just means you have to be especially careful to make the best possible choices - and if those choices aren't as good as they could be, you have to be prepared to compensate by cutting back a little further at other meals or exercising a little longer or a little harder.
Sounds like you doing great though so KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
By the way, you can always come to these boards for support. That's what we're all here for!!!
Thanks so much to all of you and I know I have to be accoutable to me and let the chips fall where they may. I have to get this weight off and this is the place where I don't feel like an outsider. You have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. We can do this!!!!!!!!
You know what? Its great to have support of others during your weightloss (and beyond) but it is soley up to you. Blow these people off. I am so sick of these sick people sabotaging people trying to do the right thing and lose weight the correct way. Hang in there, we are here for you to vent when the frustration arrises.
Tell them you aren't doing this to lose weight. You are doing it for your health. You don't want to have a higher risk of an assortment of cancers, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, asthma...list off a few random things like that. You care about your body, and you want to treat it well, so it will serve you into old age. You want to be in good cardiac health so you can run after kids/grandkids/dog/cat/etc.
You can also tell them that you are under a doctor's care, and you know what you should be eating...something along those lines.
Verbalizing those types of things tends to put people in their place, and it makes them think about the stuff they put in their mouths. It also reaffirms what you are working towards.
Ignore them. Their eating habits will catch up to them eventually. Then you can laugh silently (or loudly, if you so desire, but that isn't very nice).
I think they feel guilty about the way they eat. They don't want to so they are treating you this way. Are any of them overweight? You go and continue doing what is best for you. Showing them your losses will motivate you more. Show them you can do it. This is the hardest thing we have ever done.
Terri
I think you need to remember something else too - being thin does not necessarily mean being healthy! Thin people can have terrible eating habits, suffer from stroke, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes - you name it - all the same things that overweight people can suffer from. Overweight people may have a higher percentage of these types of problems, but EVERYONE, regardless of body type, needs to eat more fruits and vegetables, exercise, watch the type of fat they eat, etc. I just found out that one of my favorite exercise gurus has suffered from anorexia for years - someone that, if you just went by appearance, would appear to be the healthiest, most fit woman you know (Kiki Roberts - a great aerobics teacher).
Just like we don't want thin people judging us by our appearance (or what's in our grocery cart) - DON'T JUDGE THIN PEOPLE BY THEIR APPEARANCE OR BY WHAT THEY MAY EAT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!
Very true. Can you imagine how clogged the arteries can be for thin people who can eat and not gain? I know of quite a few thin people who have had heart attacks. It is scary. We do have an advantage.
Terri
what would you do?????
Acquaintances are Expendable
