Support Groups - Sanctuary - #10 Everyone Welcome

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02-19-2005, 02:28 PM

What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support

02-19-2005, 03:00 PM
I feel like I haven't been here in "forever".

Well, I have been going to work at 6:30AM and then going to see my Dad after work so I don't get home until 7:30 or 8PM. NO me time. I haven't exercised in 5 days. My Dad is trying to recover from having that flu. He just doesn't feel like eating.

NOW I also have to help my brother - his family, him, wife and 4 kids are confined to home for a week due to the flu in their house. NO ONE is happy over there. :) I hope they can make it without anyone getting hurt! :^:

I have to go back and do the "happiness" exercise I posted and then didn't participate in!!! :mad: It will be hard for me because it seems whenever I work at happiness - $hit happens in my life - it's something I have to get over. I always associate happy = bad things happen. Sad, huh? :cry:

Skitt: How is your husband?

Thanks, Gloria, for you story about your life - accident etc. It's the old - looking at the glass half full or half empty. You and Tricia are an inspiring me now - GREAT way to use your skills and make yourself feel good about your life. When things around me start to pull at me I can fall into self-defeating pity - after reading your posts I fell more like "pull myself up by my bootstraps. :goodvibes

Tricia:I think sometimes we get so caught up in the notion that the grass is always greener on the other side that we don't bother noticing how green the grass is in our own backyard. EXACTLY, I just need that reminder now and again!!

Gloria, thanks for the cellulite article. If you get one on keeping that "extra" skin under control as you lose weight - MAKE SURE your post that one!!!! :lol:

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're searching for something, try looking from a different angle, you may find exactly what you're looking for! Yet another great quote!!!!

I do still struggle with "time". I run out of it each day!!!!

Well, off to srap a little and then think on happiness.

I watched an Oprah on how she lost her weight!!!! DARN, same old thing - diet and exercise! :(

She does use a pilates machine - now that is a huge piece of equipment!!!

Later, :lucky:

02-19-2005, 07:28 PM
I've seen those machines at the gym. They look a little scary! :yikes:

I'd like to try one though!

Back to work for me......

02-19-2005, 11:32 PM
Are you talking about the big machines that are like beds on platforms and slide? They are wonderful. I took one class on them and want to take more, but they are 60.00 an hour and right now I can't jjustify the expense, but hopefully one of these days I'll get to do it. If I take them in a class of 6 people it's only 20.00 but you have to have 2 private lessons before they let you join a class. But the exercise you do on them is awesome!!!

02-20-2005, 02:29 AM
De-lurking to say Hello! :wave:

Hubby and I had a nice time out tonight. It was very last minute --- we were headed out for a late lunch and the place we tried to go was packed so we ended up driving to Atlantic City. We ate, gambled, won a little money. All in all had a good time. It was nice to get out of the house!

I hope you are all well. Sorry for not participating more right now. I just need a little time to recover from the recent events.

Talk to you soon.

02-20-2005, 10:18 AM
Hi All,

Hubby's Echocardiogram was PERFECT! At least that is what the doctor said. We will have the results from the MRI by Thursday. Anyhow, things here are going ok. It snowed so now I have to go out and shovel. Been exercising and walking and trying to drink the water. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

I really have a lot to catch up on and read but right now I must shovel. I miss you all.

Lucky, chin up, I am praying for you and your family.

love ya,

02-20-2005, 11:13 AM
Yes, BarbG, that is the one!!! It looked good when Oprah did it but you would need the space for it and the $$$$$$.

Oh, Skitt, I am so happy for you - about your hubby's Echocardiogram NOT the snow. :lol:

BarbPA for stopping by to let us know how you are.

Did you make enough money in Atlantic City to have another go at the Mall of America? Did you see they are planning on DOUBLING IT'S SIZE!!!! They are even trying to include a casino. The city of Bloomington is trying to stop that part but the owners of the Mall are trying to make it the biggest mall in the world.

Well, it snowed here too but not as much as predicted - :dance: I have a relaxing day planned - I hope it works out :) - I need to spend more time on my happiness list - I may need help. It's so sad, I have a hard time thinking of what I think would really make me happy. Of course, this isn't set in stone and I can add to it and change it but somehow putting it in writing is scary.

02-20-2005, 06:38 PM
Today has bee productive for me.

I visited my Dad, shoveled snow, and believe it or not!!!! I cooked and made my lunches for the week. It's a MIRICLE!!!!!!

Of course now I am tuckered out.

I do have to get back to regular exercise. I have let all the emotional stuff in my life derail me. I heard a lady on Oprah say she changed her eating all the time to exercise. That's what I need to do. Reprogram my eating time to exercise time.

I was trying to get my Dad to eat lunch today - well, okay I was nagging at him. Suddenly he said my name - ya know the way your parents do when you are in trouble!!! I shut-up just as one of the aids came in the room - she was laughing - I said, 'once a daughter always a daugther'!!!!

Off to read, maybe even nap a little before Desperate Housewives!!!!! I need a 'cheat-sheet' to keep up with who is doing what and to whom.

02-20-2005, 11:08 PM
This is a lot of pressure being the only one posting! :yes:

Don't forget tomorrow is the 2X2 weigh in!!!!

I know I will be a bust. I let stress rule my eating last week and will pay now by NOT contributing to the 2 week loss. :sorry:


5 dogs
02-21-2005, 11:11 AM
Hello Friends,
Went to the Y seven days this week and am feeling very proud of myself. Guess there's nothing like blowing your own horn. I did make the 2x2 but not sure of the extre 1/2 pound. I have to weigh myself at the Y because i don't have a scale and will do that tonight when i go to my water aerobics class. I have noticed that my clothes aren't as tight now, so if i don't make the extre 1/2 pound a week, i am content with just being able to ware my clothes comfortable again. No more turning blue trying to zip up my pants.

My Mother-in-law and i went to see the movie Coach Carter yesterday and had a good time. Good movie. Of course, you all know that you cant go to the movies without something to eat. I had chocolate and pop corn but instead of soda, drank water.
Pop corn and water, Yuck

Cheryll, You said in our last post that you have a lake cabin. It sounds like you like the mountains. Carl and i love the mountains and try to go there when ever possible. When we go to our house in upper Georgia, i feel like "This is where i am suppose to be. We have lived in Florida for over 25 years, as yet i don't call Florida home. Strange. We also have something else in common. Our dachshund. I am sending a picture of my little Zoey. She is my baby and yes, Zoey sleeps with me.

I have been fighting off the blues all weekend and i know i just have to pull myself out of it. Have to get going so hope to talk to you soon.

02-21-2005, 12:19 PM
Just a quick post for my 2x2 weigh in. Unfortunately, I am at 174.4 this morning which means I am up 1.4 pounds from last week but still down 1.6 for the challenge. I wish I could have contributed the whole two pounds for you guys but I did every thing right - food, exercise, attitude- were all right where they should have been. So, I'm not going to beat myself up. This is just one of those nasty weight loss quirks that annoy us all at one point or another. I'll just stick with it and hopefully see those numbers droppping in the coming weeks.

Gloria, I'm like you - my clothes are really getting big so I am pleased with my progress. It is nice to have something more concrete than the scale to keep me motivated. Of course, the problem I have is replacing those big, old, fat clothes. On one hand, all of the fall stuff is going on sale, on the other hand I may only get to wear them once or twice as our weather is warming up fast. And, if I have my way anything I buy right now will be much too big to wear next fall. Maybe I'll just weight for summer clothes. I'm such a tight wad I find it hard to splurge unless I know I'll get my money's worth.

I'm with all of you who are fans of mountain/lake living. We took a vacation to Blue Ridge, Ga. a couple of years ago- just Greg and I. It was great. We had a beautiful cabin with a terrific mountain view. Oh, it was so very relaxing. We vacation quite a bit in Gulf Shores, Al. as my parents own a condo there. I love the beach as well and it is great to have a nice place to take the kids. And, of course, the fact that it is free makes it very appealing. The kids all love it there and, besides, I don't think they are quite old enough to appreciate the serenity of an out of the way cabin. We haven't been to Gulf Shores since the hurricanes but I am sure we'll go check out how the rebuilding is coming along this spring. We were lucky, some of the boats docked in the bay were damaged but the condos themselves saw very little.

Well, I hope you all had better luck than me on the challenge. Have a great day!


02-21-2005, 01:36 PM
Hey everyone! :)

I finally finished the 6 days in a row at work! I am sooooo bushed, but I had to get in here and do some reading and get myself motivated. :)

I've been sitting in on the girls' substance abuse group at work, and I picked up some really cool thoughts to share, plus they are helping me get my head back on straight as far as weight loss is concerned. The first one you hear frequently in their meetings.

Half measures availed us nothing.

Every time I hear that line, it seems to sink in a bit deeper. When I do my food plan halfway, I don't get anywhere. When I do a food plan and ignore exercise, I don't get much of anywhere. When I try to exercise and still eat what I want, I don't progress either. I need a whole, balanced approach to find success.

The second was part of a story they were sharing today. The man was talking about his relationship with his higher power, and this line just stuck in my head.

He sees you as he created you... loving, joyful and magnificent.

I think I really needed a reminder of how God sees me. I get down on myself and forget (pardon me for getting all spiritual for a bit here) that I am a daughter of God. I look at my body and dwell on the imperfections instead of the progress I have made. I look at others and beat myself up because I don't look like them. When I forget my own divinity, everything in my life suffers.

Ok, I'm really, seriously sleep deprived, and I want to be able to enjoy some of this day with my family. That means I need to get some sleep and now! Hope you are all doing well today. *HUGS*


5 dogs
02-21-2005, 02:52 PM
I forgot to tell you one thing. We have a small vegetable stand here where i live. A coupld of days ago, they had asparagus on sale for 49 cents a pound. I was in asparagus heaven. I love asparagus, but my problem is, i know of only one way of cooking it. Do any of you have a good asparagus recipe? I bought 5 pounds and hubby won't eat it.

02-21-2005, 05:55 PM
Gloria, I love asparagus too. Here are a couple of recipes you might like to try:

Grilled Asparagus
1 lb asparagus trimmed, in 6" lenghths
1/2 cup Diuon Vinaigrette:

3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
6 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced.

Blend all vinaigrette ingredients. Preheat grill. Arrange asparagus in grill basket with tips toward outer edges of basket. Brush with vinaigrette. Grill 3 minutes, turn, and brush with more vinaigrett. Cook 3 minutes more or until asparagus is tender crisp. Serve hot, at room temp, or chilled.

Chicken Asparagus Casserole
4 bonless, skinless chicken breast halves
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 14 oz can asparagus (I've always used fresh, just trim it and blanch a little first and I put as much as I want usually just enough to cover the bottom of the pan)
1 can cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Saute chicken in oil until no longer pink. Drain. Place asparagus on bottome of 9x9x2 inch baking dish. Place chicken on top of asparagus. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over chicken. Sprinkle cheese on top and bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

Asparagus with Caper Dill Sauce
1 cup sour cream or yogurt
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup capers, drained
1/2 teaspoon salt

1 lb fresh asparagus or green beans, blanched

Blend all sauce ingredients and chill for at least 1 hour. Serve over blanched vegetables.

Asparagus soup:
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1 can asparagus soup
1 soup can light cream
1/2 cup white wine
1 can asparagus (again, I just blanch the fresh asparagus that I've trimmed. Save a little of the water to thin the soup if needed).
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/8 teaspoon red pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Dash of worstershire sauce

Blend soups until smoot. Slowly and cream and white wine. Stir until smooth. Add asparagus and bit of blanching water. Add seasonings and heat until bubbly.

Herb Dip with Asparagus:
1 pkg. cream cheese at room temp
1/3 cup sour cream or more
3 green onions chopped
2T capers, drained
2 T chopped parsley
1 T dijon mustard
1/8 t each of dried tarragon, basil, and marjoram
salt and pepper to taste
1 t lemon pepper seasoning

2 lbs asparagus, blanched, for dipping
combine all dip ingredients adding extra sour cream if needed for a soft consistency. Cover and chill. Dip with asparagus.

Also, I like to use fresh asparagus in quiches - I use just a basic recipe and throw in some blanced asparagus that I've drained and chopped. Also, fresh asparagus is great in friattas if you like those.

Hope you find something you like!


Blend all vinai
1 Tablespoon Di

c bo be
02-22-2005, 08:26 AM
Good morning everyone,

I need to make this a quick one, then off to work. I am avoiding the scales for a couple of days. I hate that. But I definately didn't make the 2x2 challenge. I've got to get it together for the next challenge. I have a terrible citiation (I like to say that instead of situation) going on a work right now. I work very closly with 9 other women and it's always something. I'm not sleeping that well. My good friend at work is ready to quit over everything and I will be so sad if she leaves. A big meeting from the superintendent of the school today. STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skittles, glad to hear about your hubbys test. My husband had one about 2 years ago and I was so scared. He had the dye put in his upper leg and the whole bit and after the test the doctor said he had the arteries of a seventeen year old. Go figure. I still don't know why something showed up on the treadmill test. ????????????? But we have peace of mind.

Gloria, we have a lake cottage in northern indiana at North webster. I love it there. I'm at peace when I'm there. It's not in the mountains though. But we are very close to alot of Amish communities and I love that. Only problem theres so many good amish restaurants. The food is absolutely wonderful. And the amish set up stands of baked bread, pies, noodles and all that good stuff. Also your dog Zoey is precious. My dogs name is Tootsie. She is a piebald dachsund and her markings look like a cows, she's white with brown spots and has freckles on her face and feet. I will try to post a picture. As you know I'm computer illiterate.

Got to go to the battleground. Later gators, c bo be

5 dogs
02-22-2005, 02:30 PM
I weighed myself at the Y last night and didn't lose the exter 1/2 pound but am happy just losing the 2x2. Maybe this next two weeks will be better.

I was thinking about what the "experts" say about losing weight, and how they all say just about the same thing. If you want to lose weight, its not about going on a diet, its about changing your life style. I found this makes sense, but easier said than done. This losing weight thing is hard work! Sometimes i don't know how those of you that have small kids, or have a full time job do it. When i did work or had small kids at home to take care of, my weight was the last thing on my mind. Just trying to keep the house clean and food in the house was a full time job for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, those of you that have small kid, and/or jobs, give yourselfs a big pat on the back. You deserve it.

Thanks Tricia for the recipes. I have never had grilled asparagus before. I will have to try that one. I also like the asparagus with caper and dill sauce. That one looks yummy. I also love dill.

Have any of you tried Tilipia fish? Its a very mild white fish and fairly cheep. I buy it at Wal-Mart and down here its about $13.00 dollars for a 4 pound box of fillets. Very tasty. Might have to try it with your caper and dill sauce Tricia.

Not much is going on around my house today. The weather is starting to turn hot, and soon i will have to close the windows and turn on the air. I hate that.
South Beach sent me this and i thought it was interasting.
Talk to you soon.

Are you frustrated by your weekly grocery bill? Do you find you spend more money on food now that you're eating better? Eating healthily doesn't have to mean spending more money. A few simple substitutions can help make The South Beach Diet™ more affordable.

Fruits and Vegetables: Local produce that's in season will be cheaper than imported produce that may be out in season. Look for weekly sales and, if all else fails, buy from the frozen-food aisle.

Meat: Beef tends to be pricey. If you can't afford beef, choose chicken or pork. Buying chicken with the bone in and skin on can also save you money. Make sure you remove the skin before eating.

Oil: Olive oil is ideal but expensive. To save money, use canola oil instead. You'll still get the healthy unsaturated fats and, as an added bonus, you'll get a dose of beneficial omega-3s.

Fish: Fresh fish is rarely affordable unless you find a special sale. To reap the benefits of fish while on a budget, buy frozen or canned. Plus, since canned fish often contains some small, edible bones, it has the added benefit of being rich in calcium. Have more great money-saving tips?

02-23-2005, 02:28 AM
Hey everyone :)

I had a really good day today! My food felt in control and I even got out to Curves for my exercise. I had a walk planned for the afternoon, but it started to rain. A light rain is nice for a walk. A torrential downpour is not! :lol:

My biggest downfall right now is that I'm not journaling my foods, but I'm planning to start doing it again tomorrow morning. I have also decided to not go back to Decision for now. They want me to sign a new contract, and it means more money than I have been paying. Considering I didn't even come close to my last goal, I'm not really feeling like forking out money for the privilege of hanging out on a plateau. I do plan to continue with what they had me doing, mostly because it makes sense as far as balance goes. Let's see how I do on my own (with help from all of you, of course :) ) for a while. The only thing I really need is a decent scale for here at home, and even buying a good one will still save me more than $50 from what they want to charge for the next 3 months. The Weight Watchers scale you can find at Bed, Bath & Beyond is supposed to be really good, yes? Kat, is that the one you have?

Tricia, the recipes sound so good! I love asparagus. :) I already copied them into my 3FC recipe file.

Gloria, thanks for the grocery tips. Eating low carb was very expensive at first, as I recall. I remember incorporating a couple of those suggestions on my own, and it did save a lot of money. And I'll have to try the tilapia. It is pretty inexpensive here as well, and it is supposed to be nice and mellow.

Lucky, you made lunches for an entire week?! I am so impressed! I remember the days when I used to be that organized. Seems sooooo long ago. :lol:

Skittles, I know it is late, but wanted to let you know how happy I was to read that your DH is doing fine. :)

BarbPA, your evening out sounded like a lot of fun! How are you holding up, chickie? Let us know if there is anything we can do or say, even if it means just listening while you let it all out.

BarbG, $60 an hour! Sheesh! I hear the machines are amazing, but that is a rather dear price. Still, would be fun to try one of these days. :)

c bo be, sorry you are having work stress. Hope it all comes out right for you soon. *HUGS*

Kat, Missing you lots, even as bad as that sounds considering how little I've been here the last couple of weeks. How is the party coming along? That sounds like it has been keeping you busy, but in a good way. :)

I know I haven't caught up with everyone, but this is all I can see on my screen right now. I've been having such massive problems even getting onto the site of late, I didn't bother trying to open up two windows for replies.

I'm going to head off to bed now. Maybe I'll manage another 8 hours of sleep like last night. I wouldn't argue! :)


02-23-2005, 08:22 AM
Hi all,

Sorry I haven't been around much of late. Thanks for all the well wishes for my DH.

I made the 2x2 woo hoo! Ready for the next one. Lets get it on!

Gloria, I love your doggie. It's soooo cute. I love Georgia too, it is such a pretty place. Sometimes I miss the south, but mostly no, because of the heat.

Tricia, I might have to try the recipes, my husband is allergic to asparagus so I will have to cut it down.

Andria, glad your week is over.

Lucky, Wow, want to come make my lunches for a week. I can never do that kind of stuff. I don't know why. How did you get motivated to do that?

Kat, Miss you. Hope the party is going well.

BarbPa, I hope you are doing well. Glad you stopped in.

Cheryl, always better to be safe than sorry. Isn't it weird how something shows up and then suddenly dissappears. These tests just aren't always accurate.

Well all, must go walk.

Love you all,


02-23-2005, 09:44 AM
I too have to apologize for not being here. I have had a "crappy" week.

I had three crowns done right in a row on the right lower side of my mouth. My Dad still isn't doing well so I went to talk to the funeral director AND a family friend was killed in Iraq on Monday.

I did have a piece of pie yesterday while waiting for my dentist appt. I know, NOT the best idea but - well, that's what happened.

I will post more tonight.

Glad to see all of the rest of you posting.

02-23-2005, 08:33 PM
1. I have had 2500.00 in dental work so far.
2. My Dad, 83, got the flu AFTER GETTING THE SHOT and is still sick after a month.
3. I had to go to the funeral director ! :(
4. My friend was killed in Iraq.
5. The Vikings traded Randy Moss!!!!!

All I keep thinking of doing is eating and sitting perfectly still. :( For some reason I think those two things will make it all better.


02-23-2005, 10:15 PM
Hi all...thinking of you guys lots...just no time. After tonight, I'm off for four glorious days, so you'll be seeing lots of me. Big snow storm coming tomorrow. Oh, these are getting old.

I'll catch up on everything tomorrow...see you then!

02-24-2005, 08:32 AM
Hello all,

I hope that the lack of posting means that we are out there moving and losing.

On a sad note, my friend lost her husband yesterday. Very sad, but he is home now.

Lucky, food is not the answer. Just burn that stress out. Walk, run, beat a pillow, screaming is good too. Just don't sit still and let it sink in as you weigh it down with some food. It's not going to make it better, it is just going to numb it for a while.
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I will pray for you and your friends family.
I will also pray for your dad, sounds like you and he are having a rough time.

The Vikes got rid of Randy huh. Well, maybe something good will come out of it, you never know.

Well, off to walk.

Love ya all,


02-24-2005, 09:46 AM
Thanks, Skitt - I know all that but I think because I have to handle everything alone makes me want to shrivel up!!!!

I forgot - my brother got the A type flu - his family has been shut up for over a week together - NOT good with teenagers. Then my brother and one of my nephews tested positive for strep AND my brother has pneumonia (sp). As of Tuesday the rest of the family is on the move but my brother is still confined to home or the doctor threatened to put him in the hospital. Then of course his job he being crappy about his being gone so that just adds to his stress.

As far as diet and exercise I haven't been doing much. I have listened to Dr. Phil driving to and from work and do my yoga in the morning - but that's it.

So, after MY cheery post I hope you all pop in and give us an update on your life, diet, exercise and anything else you want to share.

Later, :lucky:

02-24-2005, 11:20 AM
Hi, all.

I had an interesting revelation last night. I've always considered myself an emotional eater - stress, sadness, anger - all would trigger my going overboard. So, when I got started this time around I admitted to myself that these were nothing more than excuses. I mean, come on, I felt WORSE after I'd tried to eat my pain away. So far, so good. But then again, I hadn't had any HUGE incidents in a couple of months either so, to be honest, it wasn't that hard.

Well, yesterday, we had to have our dog put to sleep. We had been looking for a home for her for a while, we'd been trying various training techniques, we'd consulted two vets for advice but she became more and more aggressive as the weeks went by. In the last week, she had started to exhibit really out of character behavior - pacing and crying at 3 in the morning, pooping all over the house in the middle of the night, tearing things up. And yet neither vet could find a physical explanation. She was a shelter dog so we could only assume that their was something in her background that we just didn't know. So, we had to make the heartwrenching decision to euthanize her.

Back to my revelation. I was fine foodwise all day long. Greg picked Sweetie Pie up yesterday around lunch time while the kids and I were gone - we just told them that we'd found a better home for her. I was still fine. He took her to the vet and wen't back to work (the vet wasn't going to be back in until later in the afternoon but we wanted the kids to say their goodbyes and leave her rather than us having to take her from them). So, I'm still on plan, no problem. I called Greg and 4:00 and he had just left the vet and I immediately hung up the phone and started to eat. It was a couple of hours before I finally shook myself and tried to figure out what was going on. Of course, my initial thought was EMOTIONAL EATING. But, the more I thought about it the less that seemed an acceptable reason. I mean, sure, I was upset, but I knew in my heart that we had done the best thing for the safety of our children and the most humane thing for Sweetie Pie.

And then it hit me. I wasn't out of control because I was sad or stressed. I was out of control because I wanted to PUNISH myself. And what easier, more effective way is there to accomplish that than to sabotage my plans for better health and a happier life? I knew we'd done the right thing but I still felt guilty and had that ping in my heart that made me wonder if her behavior had somehow been my fault.

And as I looked back over time at all of the other things that started my eating with a domino effect, sure enough, I could see that I was punishing myself for a bad situation that I had somehow caused. So, I think the bottom line for me is that I first have to accept that a lot of situations will be beyond my control. It isn't my fault everytime something bad happen. Second, I've got to learn to accept that sometimes I do cause bad things to happen but punishing myself with food is really just a way for me to avoid owning up to that responsibilty. I've got to face those mistakes, do what I can to right my wrong.

In a really strange way, I felt I had incredible control once that light bulb went off. I'm not saying that I'll never stumble again but I do think it will happen less often and I feel much better equipped to handle it when I do. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I woke up this morning not feeling like I was on a diet. I didn't see food as a way to punish myself and I didn't feel like being healthier and more attractive as a reward of some kind. I deserve to have that regardless of what goes on in the rest of my life. And I WANT it.

Pardon my rant but I went to sleep last night absolutely fed up with my own excuses. It all boils down to the fact that I am fat, I'm unhealthy, and I can either do something about it or shut up and live with it. The inferior feelings that I have about myself because of my weight, this need to punish myself with food are just flat out silly. When it is all said and done, I need to get over myself. I am sick to death of whining all of the time. Good Lord knows my kids have never gotten what they wanted by whining about it - and it won't work for me either. I'm shaking up my attitude and turning over a new leaf!

Whew, I feel better.

Skittles - better late than never - I'm glad your husband's test was A-Okay. And, I am so sorry to hear of your friend's loss. I know your sadness for her is probably as deep as hers is for her husband. It is never easy to watch someone we care about go through something so hard. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Lucky - Bless your soul, you are having a tough year - and it is only February! Just do your best to try and roll with the punches. And try to pay close attention to all of the GOOD things that happen every day. Sometimes it takes real effort to see them, especially when loved ones are ill and friends die. But they are there for us - we just have to work harder to find them. I hope your father's health improves soon. If it doesn't, we'll all be here for you. And remember, that sometimes feeling like we have to handle everything alone is self imposed. I know you have friends and family who love and care for you. Ask for their help when you need it. And cut yourself some slack. I am sure your father is your most important priority right now. Focus on him and try to accept that, until his situation is resolved, some other things may not get done or won't be done as perfectly as they might usually be. And try to take Skittles advice. Eating poorly isn't good medicine. It won't make you feel better, it won't help you escape your problems, and can only stand to make you feel even less in control. After all, when everything else seems to fall apart, food is the ONE area that you have absolutely 100% control over and that kind of control can be a very powerful tool to help you deal with problems more positively. (I know, I know - great advice from someone who just lost control and binged!)

I'm off to do a little scrubbing. Greg is home today with strep throat so I'm going to lysol the place down. And then, of course, there is the "booger collection" that I found on my 4 year old son's wall while I was tucking him in last night. Geez, if you've gotta pick your nose at least wipe it on the pillow case - I can throw that in the washing machine! I may have to repaint the dadburned wall! BOYS!

Hope you all have great days. I'll check in later!

5 dogs
02-24-2005, 11:46 AM
Hay Laura, where are you? Hope everythings okay with you? Haven't seen you around and would love to hear what is going on in your part of the world.

I don't know what to tell you Lucky to help you feel better. Having one sick person to take care of can be very trying on the nerves, but two and three sick relatives would get the strongest person down. Do you have a friend or maybe a neighbor of your brother who could help take care of him? I'm concerned that you could get sick to. knock on wood. Anyway, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and you have friends that care about you.

Do any of you find the T.V. shows that are on these days annoying? There are a few good showes that i look forward watching, but most nights we end up watching a rerun of Law and Order. There are so many different Law and Order shows that when hubby wants to know what is on T.V. that night, i tell him, Law and Order fill in the blank. Then there are the commercials. Do you know that these things last four min. long, and they turn up the shound so load that my next door neighbor can hear our T.V. Grrrrrrr!!

Now that i got that off my chest, i would like to know what excites all of you? The things that you look forward to. For me, i guess its my garden. I have a huge tomato that is starting to turn red, and every day when i check on it i get this sense of satisfaction. Now i know i had nothing to do with mother nature and making the tomato turn red, but i did give it plant food and water, and i found just the right place in my yard to put the plant so it would get just the right amount of sun and shade. I also get a natural high from smells. No, I'm not strang. We have a pine tree in our back yard and ever so often we get this sweet sent of pine in the house. It reminds me of the mountains. I also love the smell of a clean house. Okay, I am strang.

Must get going and get something done.
Later Gater.

02-24-2005, 12:10 PM
Hello! :)

I think I'm about back on top of my game, and it feels good! It is always so apparent after the fact when I've been running a light depression. My house is a disaster, I haven't been exercising like normal, and my eating is stagnant. I get to where I'm eating exactly the same foods every day. I do my best to not cook, I wear the same rotation of clothing (at least I don't get so bad that they aren't washed!), and I isolate myself in the house. When I begin to come out of it, everyone is so happy to see me. They say they haven't seen me in weeks. Of course I can't see any of this when it is happening. At least as I become more aware it seems that this all lasts a shorter time and I don't get so far down. Improvement!

Lucky, you sound like you need one huge HUG! Listen to everyone here and listen to your heart. You aren't alone, just things are really rough right now.

Tricia, thank you for that post! Thank you for your honesty. :)

Tony just got home and is calling. I'll be back later! :)


5 dogs
02-24-2005, 12:31 PM
Oh my goodness Andra, those are the same things i do when i get the blues. This past weekend i was down and had to concentrate just to keep myself from crying. I wear big baggy T-shirts and baggy pants. Don't go anywhere unless i have to. My house is a mess and i don't care. There is no food to eat and, I DON"T CARE. Wow, i thought it was just me looking down on myself again.
Thanks for sharing.

02-24-2005, 03:53 PM
Back again :)

Gloria, I used to think I was the only one who did that, until I read a post here on 3FC from someone who could have written the last few years of my life for me. It was hard to read her story, but it was enlightening at the same time. Somehow, just the knowing that I wasn't alone made it bearable.

Now, what excites me? Hrm... Learning new things, for the most part. Gardening. I watch over my tomatoes the same way! :lol: Cooking is more than excitement for me, it is total passion. But I'm not a Betty Crocker type, which is pretty hilarious. I'm very experimental in the kitchen, and I love creating new, unique flavors. I'm loving all the things I learn in crochet class and making up new stuff as I go. That is the short list for right now. :) I could go on and on. I think life in general excites me. I'm serious, not just tossing out a corny line!

Time to head off to class now. Hope everyone is having a good day. :)


5 dogs
02-24-2005, 04:35 PM
I didn't know you have a garden. Have you ever grown chives? Mine are starting to bud and i don't know why. I have them in a pot so maybe they are root bound. This morning the buds opened and there were little blue flowers, so i picked them and ate them with cream cheese and rye Wasa crackers. Very tasty. This year i want to grow dill. Tried growing it once before but it died on me. Any suggestions?

02-24-2005, 11:33 PM
At risk of having to admit that I am the most boring of all us, let's see what excites me:

I like to do a little vegetable gardening too. Nothing big, a few tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and the like. I don't have a green thumb despite having grown up around farming (my maternal grandparents had a good sized farm as hobby). I think that's why I love it so much. When we actually pick and eat what we've grown and it is better than anything I could buy I feel very satisfied with myself.

Also, because I get them so infrequently, I really love 5 or 10 minutes of quiet solitude. Just a few moments when nobody needs anything from me. Greg is really good about making sure I get plenty of "me" time but even with that it is time that has a purpose - the gym, shopping, whatever. I love to have a few minutes here and there to just sit on the front porch, listen to the birds sing, and not feel any obligation but to just sit there. So, Gloria, you may consider yourself strange but I guess I have to 'fess up to being corny.

Cooking is a passion and I love to entertain, especially family. Even a simple cookout of hamburgers and hot dogs are a treat when I can have my sister and her family plus our parents over all at once. We all live relatively close to one another so you would think that we'd see each other all of the time but everyone has such a hectic schedule that it is hard to manage. So, I try once a month or so to invite everyone over for a Saturday dinner or a Sunday brunch.

I'm a fan of music and I like to go out and dance, although I haven't gotten to do that much since we started our family. Getting together with friends is always a pleasure as well. Oh, and Ole Miss football - even when they are terrible.

And, there are a handful of things that I find exciting or, should I say the idea of them exciting. Traveling in particular. I've gotten to do just enough of it to want more but that's one of the things that will probably have to wait until retirement. Right now, all of our vacation time is spent traveling North to see my in-laws, and the kids aren't at very good ages for much more than the beach like. Plus, even if they wanted to go more exotic places we couldn't afford all five of us going - not and pay for college and buy cars for three kids, etc. down the line. It's all about priority these days. But we'll get there and I look forward to those years seeing the world with Greg.

Look at that, I've rambled again! Hope you guys have a good night and wake up to a wonderful morning. Good night!


02-24-2005, 11:37 PM
Oops, one more thing. I am wondering how you all handle when you get off of plan for a day. Do you go right back to the usual or do you try and reduce your calories for the rest of the week to make up for it? Or, maybe add some additional exercising to burn the extra calories? Just curious. Personally, I just jump right back in where I left off so that I don't start a viscious cycle. I guess I worry that if I try and make up for it I'll end up too hungry and find myself having another off-plan day.

02-25-2005, 08:27 AM
Stop Do Not Post Here!!!

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