[Belle2000]

OK there aren't tornados here, but we're having weird weather. 24C yesterday, 19C this afternoon and then tomorrow - flurries. It's Alberta for you.

I need a coffee but for now I'll post while I can.

I did awesome yesterday - totally OP and we went for an additional 1 hour walk along the river, just the 2 of us. But today I feel crappy - I couldn't find any clothes that looked good and my sinuses are burning out of my head. It's a horrible feeling, like when you get chlorine up your nose. Dr. Lori if you are around - should I see a doc??

We had to get our dog into doggy daycare as my sister can't take her until we move (2 1/2 more weeks!!). Crapola. It's $25/day!! But at least we dont' have to worry and we can take her to work with us as the daycare is right by b/f's work.

OH I almost forgot - I saw my ex- b/f (we dated 8 years and he totally resents me for finally breaking off with him) today on the train. It sucks b/c I look crappy - I have bad hair and look exhausted plus I was wearing a jean skirt and runners - v. classy - I would have wanted to look more the busines person part, you know...oh well, I don't really care... But you know those days - NOTHING looks good on me today. I feel horrible and look crappy. I need a new jacket, new shoes, new pants...GAH.

I think I am just tired out and emotional, but it doesn't help to know that. I just need a few days off, I need some new clothes...I need pay day...

Going to bathroom to obsess about my appearance - then for coffee.

Come out and play!!

[Sweater Girl]

Belle: Hmmm I consider the Swan a train wreck... I cannot help but watch but I get really angry and sad when I do.... Beth was pretty to begin with (the blond on last night) and so was the other girl... They just needed some confidence and a bright attitude and Beth could have lost her hubby too...Plus she was thin to begin with, all she needed to do was tone.... Sach actually wants me to stop watching it. He thinks it makes me become insecure about my own weaknesses and leaves me really down...

I sometimes wonder if "I should talk" when it comes to this. I always had low self-esteem when it came to my looks before I lost weight. Sadly I put weight on in my face and had huge hips, a tummy that protuded more than my chest (I am small chested in my defence), a stern profile and I kind of thought I looked mannish. I lost weight and gained all this confidence, even since gaining a bit, I still think I look fairly good and don't hate my looks or anything... I also during my initial weight loss grew up a bit and realized my problems weren't entirely how I looked, it was more that I just wasn't comfortable with myself and I needed confidence. I am more than my looks, I am smart, funny, have a good group of friends who don't care how I look etc..

I am sure the "experts" on the Swan could find stuff wrong with me, soften my nose to soften my profile, enlarge my chest past the a-cup, lose at least 20lbs (I think they'd want me to lose at least 30), a tummy tuck, an arms tuck, liposuction in my thighs, whiten my teeth more.... but hey, I like the way I look. The weight will come off with diligence and the tummy tuck defintely isn't in the cards until after I have kids...No one is perfect and that imperfection can be very beautiful.

[Belle2000]

Ali you never fail to inspire me - your reply re: the Swan was lovely!! I think it's complex too - the whole self-esteem issue. Of course, it is realted to Body Image and confidence. I know it's easy to say that weight/looks and self esteem shouldn't be linked, but they are. And while losing weight/changing our looks won't change our lives, it can improve our body image and confidence.

Still, the Swan is a ridiculous concept and I am with you about people's flaws being beautiful. They totally are! By the way, I thought you are a gorgous girl! I like your nose! Betcha when those women go home they'll need counselling b/c they'll be struggling with thier identity.

Interesting topic.

[Horsey girl]

Morning!!

I've never watched the swan but I've seen clips on Entertainment shows and it kind of scared me. Quick fixes don't work. You may be able to lypo out fat and put on fancy makeup and a fancy hairdo but eventually, if you don't do it every day, the "look" fades and the fat will come back (it's apparently quite the problem with people with lypo - they gain the weight back and have to do it again.) And then these poor women have to start wondering if people are actually looking at them for their outside appearance or who they are inside. I've never really had "self-esteem" issues as far as body image. I wanted to lose weight because I was out of control and not healthy. But to go to such extremes would be difficult for me. It was nice to loose gradually and not have to deal with a sudden complete reversal in appearance. I hope those ladies have some counselling or help dealing with their transitions and their lives aren't too changed by it.

Belle - You didn't tell us if you talked to your ex or just ignored him and flashed the ring...
Ali - I love the trainwreck analogy. And I agree - Perfect is boring - it's nice to have a little bit of variety and people have VERY different ideas about what perfect is.

OK - I closed my door for my break so I better go open it. Not having a good computer day and I feel like throwing it out the window. But the weather is nice enough for long walks on my lunch and that wears down my frustrations and gets me a bit of exercise. I'll try to check back when the program I'm working on crashes later (it always does)

KT

[Belle2000]

Hey KT I guess you've had no crashes. I didn't talk to him, just flashed the rock! It's a good thing b/c he sometimes tells me how much he hates me, what a b*&ch I am, etc...so no scenes on the train!! Thank goodness.

I was thinking about what is a reasonable goal for my wedding...you guys tell me what you think....would 33lbs (1.6/week avg) be reasonable?? This is only 20 weeks as the 4 weeks leading up to my wedding will be busy and I will have to have my dress altered in there. That would bring me to 180, well into Onederland. Do you think that is good or setting me up for failure?

[Horsey girl]

Hey Belle - the system has been very good but now I'm just tired of updating all this stupid information that was lost during one of the most recent crashes. I'm taking a break and drinking Lime Diet coke - YUM.

I would say that your goal is "reasonable" - do you like the quotation marks? There are so many things that happen on the road to a wedding that you can't plan for that - I always set my goals low so I can exceed my own expectations but I certainly don't think your are set too high. I'm sure you can do it - and way to take into account those last 4 weeks! Don't forget to wait until later to buy your foundation garments - those too big would not be a good thing. We're right about the same place right now - I should join you and give myself a "belle's wedding challenge"...

KT

[Belle2000]

Hey that sounds awesome. It seems like you and I Have been about the same (with me a bit higher) for a while now. It's a 20 week challenge for my wedding...

OH I just realized the other Challenge (Canada day/independence day) is Kierie's Wedding! We can call it Kier's Wedding Challenge!

[Horsey girl]

Yeah - double wedding challenges - I'm loving it!! I have to get on that other challenge.

And my signature is lying right now - I think I'm at 220 - I've been using my ankle as an excuse to eat - but no more!! I'm on the wedding challenges!!!

KT