100 lb. Club - 02 Regainers regaining control, and relosing




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Sandi
06-30-2014, 08:37 AM
Here is our new thread!

Be back later!!


LaurieDawn
06-30-2014, 11:46 AM
I almost neglected to do 3FC today, which is just one step on my road away from plan. Crazy bad weekend. I did do my C25K on Saturday, though, and killed it, even though I never got into it. So, I killed it the hard way. And you know what? Imma focus on that instead of the free-for-all sweet tooth that rocked my Sunday.

I'm running short on time, so I'm not going to do personals for now, but I freaking love all of you guys. So many wonderful women going through what I'm going through = renewed determination. Totally going to the gym and lifting weights this afternoon, then maybe -- maybe -- I will do my C25K this evening, and be back on track for both of my fitness goals. (I was scheduled to lift weights yesterday, and I totally blew it off.) Or I will just do one of them, and still be super proud of myself. In my defense, my knee was sort of spazzing out after Saturday's "run," (90 seconds brisk walk, 60 seconds run) so a little rest was probably good for it anyway.

Slashnl
06-30-2014, 12:47 PM
Cool! A new thread! Yay!

Well, I finally had a whoosh! It's been a couple of weeks of not much change, back and forth on less than a pound increments. But today, I saw a 5 pound loss! So happy to finally see the scale move. I know it hadn't been THAT long, but it seemed like an eternity and I really needed a little push in the right direction. After last Monday's weigh in, and disappointment, I looked back at my calorie count and it wasn't horrible, but I had let it creep up more often than not, so last week, I was a lot more diligent and I'm so happy it paid off.

So officially, I have lost my regain weight from the most recent loss of focus. I'm not leaving this thread, though. I love you guys! I'm staying!!! :) And, I'm so close to going into 240's!!! The next mini goal is in sight, 249.5. I haven't been down to that since 2005. Wow.

LaurieDawn: Way to go on the C25K and weights! You're staying so focused!!!! Good for you!


LaurieDawn
06-30-2014, 01:32 PM
I LOVE checking in for just a second and seeing this news, Diane. I am going to buy me a scale. A real one that I can see increments and that I am confident will tell me my actual weight. You have inspired me!

ubergirl
06-30-2014, 02:05 PM
Diane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have REALLY accomplished something! I'm so glad you are here, and PLEASE do not leave. Because you are doing it, it makes me believe that I can too! A 5 lb whoosh is definitely awesome! I'm hoping if I stick with it I can get below 250 by September.

LaurieDawn: I was reading back through some old threads yesterday and I saw how many false starts I had-- going strong for as long as a month before having a few bad days and just giving up. Lesson? Do as I say, not as I do! A couple of days off plan is nothing as long as you keep chugging a long. It's quitting that hurts. The scale is TOTALLY worth it. Even though I'm scale obsessed, daily weighing really helps me keep things in perspective-- I get used to my long-term pattern and don't freak out over ever bounce.

My official weigh-in is tomorrow, but as of today I'm down 2.6 this week. No restaurant meals this week. Even when I think I'm carefully counting calories, it's just easier when I cook for myself. Hope I'll drop a bit more and be down 3 by tomorrow. Yesterday was a little rocky for me. I felt picky around dinner time-- ate one potato chip, one spoonful of rice and a few bites of my little one's turkey burger. Picky is usually not good for me. However, I didn't do anything crazy and I even logged the 1/4 turkey burger (or so) that I picked off the little one's plate when he was done. Hanging in there. Can't wait to power through the 260s...

Sandi
06-30-2014, 02:07 PM
I only did OK this weekend. I certainly did not show the self control that I need to have right now. I wish I knew what it would take for me to care enough to really get back on the band wagon and do this 100% every day and just get it done already!!

Did I have a loss this week, yes. Could I have done better? Yes...much.

I make myself lists as to why I should do this, I have a personal trainer, I have all the answers. I know what's at stake and still I do just enough. I have the knowledge, power and capability to kill it. Yet I don't. Some days I don't even do the bare minimum.

At one point I was still looking for answers. A better way, an easier way, something that will work for me. But now I know. I know the what I need to do to have a loss every week. I even know what I need to do to really rev up my weight loss. Wouldn't you think that's all I need?

Very frustrated with myself!

FeraFilia
06-30-2014, 02:39 PM
Hi all! :) yay for shiny new threads!

End of the month means lots of things like weigh ins:

My start of June weigh in was 319.6...

My end of June weigh in was 307.4!!!

I will stay focused and get my booty out of the 300s BY THE END OF JULY for real this time and *stay there*

Today also means pictures, and measurements... Did my measurements earlier, and across my 5 points (neck, bust, waist, belly button, and hips) I've lost a total of 4.25 inches, the biggest drop was my hips, 1.5 inches, in 3 weeks.

Also, not sure how accurate the numbers are on this thing, but my gizmo that measures body fat percentage also lost 1.3 points in those 3 weeks. And according to my calculator, that means I've lost about 10 pounds of fat. :)

So, 12 pounds, 4 inches, and a good chunk of body fat. I'll take it. June was good. :D

LaurieDawn - SO glad you came by! Not posting on 3FC/MFP is a sure sign that my care level is dropping and that way lies madness. Or at least fatness and I trying to leave that place! And kudos to you for focusing on the positive of your weekend. :)

Diane - !!! Congrats on your whoosh and shoving off your regain!! Did you see the link I posted in the other thread? "Of whooshes and squishy fat"... it's an eye-opener for when you're stalled. I'm happy you're staying put. I like this little group a lot. :)

Uber - Rockin it this week! Always nice to see the scale move in the right direction... Good source of motivation. :D Good job logging your nibbles. I still have a hard time with that.

Sandi - A loss is still a loss, and it's 100x better than a gain. :) Sometimes it's nice to have a small tangible reward that you're working for, and not just the nebulous "my health"... even though that's more awesome than some random doodad. I reward myself every 10 pounds, because it's just easier to break it up into chunks, rather than look at the massive pile of work in front of me. 10 pounds at a time. I've done it twice, and I can do it a dozen more!

You've got this. :)

ubergirl
06-30-2014, 02:58 PM
I only did OK this weekend. I certainly did not show the self control that I need to have right now. I wish I knew what it would take for me to care enough to really get back on the band wagon and do this 100% every day and just get it done already!!

Sandi, that is the 6 million dollar question for me-- for all of us. Why, exactly, can we get fully committed some of the time, but other times, it seems so hard????? I really don't know the answer, exactly, but in my case, MOST of it is stress-related. I don't commit 100% unless I have enough mental space to really CONCENTRATE.

But I had a realization yesterday, when I was looking at my weight graph that goes back to 2009.

I realized that I've been higher, and lower, but I've maintained my weight near 260 for most of the past 5 years. That doesn't seem so great, but, 260 is just out of the "extreme obesity" BMI for my height. It is a 2X or 22 rather than a 3X and 24-26, and even better, it is 10% less than my high weight.

So all this struggle and giving up and yo-yoing and backsliding hasn't actually been for nothing. Prior to joining 3FC, my weight had been GOING UP every single year for 15 straight years. Since joining 3FC, I've consistency maintained lower-- sometimes A LOT lower, sometimes a little lower, but still LOWER.

So, I have to conclude that what I'm doing is working at least a little bit, even though sometimes my head it totally in the game and other times I'm elbow deep in a bag of Twizzlers. :o

And, if you posted a loss this week, I would say that your head is enough in the game! :carrot::carrot:

SunnyMac
06-30-2014, 05:20 PM
A NEW THREAD!!!!!! Alright - I've survived another event. Or a week of event's is more like it. I'm in the home stretch to a much needed break from large scale professional events and major travel. So last I was here I was going to be staying in the city....I survived Wednesday-Friday. There were some more lavish dinners out, not as much exercising and way too much opening night alcohol. I got lucky and didn't show any gains from that. There was a lot of running around and not a lot of sitting and eating all day so I think I was able to just balance my week. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with everything going on with my current production that has had me stretched so thin. I've still got a lot of meals out this week and every one of them is a test of wills at this point. I had one client lunch today - I have one dinner tonight, one dinner tomorrow night and then one on Thursday night and then we are into the holiday weekend and I can take a break from all this eating out. With each meal I'm getting out I get a bit better ordering each time. Lunch was at Legal Seafood - I did fairly good with unsweetened iced tea, baked cod which came with broccoli raab and brown rice. I ate half and took the other half to go. Where I went wrong is the shared starter of 'Bang Bang Cauliflower' which is basically their version of kung pow style cauliflower (I was led astray by the deliciousness and the lure that it was a vegetable which overshadowed the simple fact that it's a vegetable that has been battered, fried and tossed in sugary sauce). Super delicious but I did a little calorie recon and discovered 1 dish is 850 calories and we pretty much split it 50/50 and I had a roll too which is what has really put me over the top for the day. Since this is the place I most often take clients too I'm trying to get the ordering down to no bread and skip the rice get double vegetables - and for the love no bang bang cauliflower! I have to go out to dinner tonight too so I'm just going to play it safe and get a salad with chicken with dressing on the side, no alcohol and ask them not to bring bread over to the table - my friend that I'm having dinner with may be 8 months pregnant but she's also medically gluten free so all that bread will just end up with me so I'm going to just ask them not to bring it. Calculating all of that I'm currently going to be over my calories by 336 so I've got to get some extra burn in there because that overage is already eating my calorie balance from my morning gym workout.

It wasn't a perfect week but slowly I'm finding it easier to be more conscious when I eat out which is one of the major problems for me - because eating out and entertaining is a major part of my job. I need to really perfect healthy ordering and not give in!!!! I'm a bit nervous about the scale this week with all the eating out - I'm sure the extra salt is NOT helping my cause but honestly at this point....it's 3 more days, only 3 more meals out and then I'm out of the dining out clutches for a while thankfully.

@ LaurieDawn - oooohhhhh C25k - I forgot about that. You have motivated me to dust off those podcasts!!!! Awesome! RUNNING IS HARD!!!!!

@ Diane - I second Uber - you can't leave. STAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! You are so wonderfully inspirational - congratulations on a great accomplishment!

@ Uber - good luck on the scale tomorrow - sounds like you are already moving in a good direction! My fingers are crossed for you!

@ Sandi - I feel like I could have written your post - This time around I am going into this knowing there is no quick fix. I'm also coming into this knowing that I don't think it's feasible that I'm 100% on 100% of the time. I'm aiming for....80% of the time - that feels more realistic for some reason. Small changes every day will equal big changes in the long term. You logged a loss this week which as far as I'm concerned is a success for you. If you want to do better next week, then use this past week and any frustrations you have with yoruself as fuel to drive you home.

@ Fera - you are getting tons of carrots - you have had an awesome june!!!!!!!!!:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carr ot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

LaurieDawn
07-01-2014, 10:07 AM
Sunny - Wow. So many challenges jammed into such a short time period. I very much admire your determination to figure it out one challenge at a time and to make it work. And C25K really helps me focus. =)

Diane - Does the third vote make it official? You are not allowed to go anywhere. I can't wait to celebrate with you as you break new ground in this lifelong battle.

Uber - Thanks for being in the trenches with me. I have definitely had way more false starts than successful ones, but I have had success too. Thanks for the reminder.

Sandi - Sometimes, I have to remind myself that perfection can be the enemy of good. Could I work harder in the gym? Absolutely. Everyone can. Could I have lowered my calories or increased my quality of calories by forsaking all the sugar that is normally a part of my diet. No question. But when I make enough good choices to offset the bad choices, I also try to celebrate the victory. In my case, the voices in my head telling me I did not do well enough are the same ones that convince me to quit. I try to banish them altogether and listen to the other ones, the ones that tell me that very few people I know can do 1-point dumbbell rows with 50 pounds, or that I should be regaining my ability to do real push-ups in just a few weeks of effort.

Mandy - I want a July like your June! It's so great to see you succeed, even in the face of some pretty serious emotional challenges. So excited to see you cross the threshold into Twoderville.

I have been trying to really concentrate my calories in the evening so I can eat with my husband like a "normal" person. Last night, he made dinner for me--his world-famous grilled cheese sandwiches. By that point, I had consumed maybe 200 calories in the day (post-lifting), so I was really, really hungry, but all about eating his food. He made the sandwich, but also made this salad that had all these cut-up vegetables (good, right?) coated with a lot of some mayonnaise-based dressing. Oh, how I HATE mayonnaise--the texture, the smell, the sliminess. I ate the sandwich, but was still pretty hungry. I was trying to force myself to eat this high-calorie concoction that was turning my stomach, all the while envisioning the lower-calorie, delicious, nutritious food that I had rejected so I could eat like a "normal" person. He got mad that it was taking so long for me to try it, and just took the plate away. He was hyper-offended that he had worked so hard on something I clearly didn't want to eat, and I was both frustrated and really, really hungry. *sigh* There's not an easy solution to this food thing, I don't think.

Slashnl
07-01-2014, 12:29 PM
Hi all! Went to Body Pump this morning. It was a good workout. I was sweating a lot, so it had to be good, right? :) Last night I bought a heart rate monitor. I need it for this new spin class that they are starting at the gym. You use the heart rate monitor to hit certain targets related to different percentages of your max heart rate. It's called "mind over intensity". They have the very first class on Friday, so we'll see how that goes. I think I'll try out the monitor tomorrow at Spin, to see how it works. Something new.

Sandi: I agree with LaurieDawn. We all have to be kinder to ourselves. I think that when you've lost a lot of weight and gained it back, your self-esteem takes such a big hit that you can't give yourself credit for anything. It's so easy to criticize ourselves, but not so easy to be proud of all accomplishments, not just the big ones. I think with my exercise, I've done a great job of giving myself time to improve. I started so unbelievably slow, just being proud that I was in the gym. Then, slowly, I tried to improve each time. So for you, I think you need to be proud that you've lost some weight. You've been coming back here! That is great! Let yourself start slowly so that it isn't so overwhelming that you lose your motivation. You're so right that it has to come from within, and I know we all struggle with that. It just isn't easy. But you can do it! Treat yourself well! It reminds me of one of my favorite motivational sayings: You don't have to be great to start. You have to start to be great.

LaurieDawn: Darn, he is making it hard on you! I'm sorry for the frustration of the dinner. You are doing the right thing in trying to avoid the high calorie dishes. It must just be really hard for your husband to understand why you have to make these choices. Hang in there!

SunnyMac: Wow, you have quite the battle with going out to eat so often! It sounds like you are really learning some good tricks on what to choose. It is so hard to pass on those tasty tidbits that add up to outrageous calories!!

Uber: That is a good way to look at it. You've kept your weight steady rather than just totally giving up and letting it go. It's so true! If I hadn't stopped when my weight peaked at the highest point, I would still be surpassing that and moving higher and higher. There just isn't an option here, we just have to keep trying!

Mandy: So cool that you've lost all that weight and all the inches! Nice!!!!! You'll be under 300 in no time! You should be so proud of the results. Way to go!!!!

lili8184
07-01-2014, 12:48 PM
Mind if I join you ladies? I'm "New" here- New as in, 3FC helped me lose 78 lbs in 2012- and after having another baby girl in 2013 i gained it all back plus some. Something I SWORE I would not do. So here I am- so far I have lost 12 lbs, so I am just 3 lbs. away from the weight I started at in 2012, so there's a plus! Anyway- I am looking forward to another successful month! I am trying to break my goals up also, 10 lbs at a time- My major goal is to be in Onederland by next June- when we take our 2 little ladies to Disney World for the first time. I want to fit into the rides with my kids without risking the embarrassment of not being able to buckle the seat belt and having to get off. That has happened to me and it was one of my lowest points. So, that's a staggering 102 lbs left to lose... but I KNOW I can do this! I lost the 78 lbs in 7 months :) I've made my first goal of 10 lbs in just 4 weeks, I can do it 10 more times!!! Thanks for all the support that I know this thread and forum will offer. It really was instrumental to my success the first time, having great people who are in the same boat as me- to talk to and cheer on. Have a great day!

ubergirl
07-01-2014, 12:58 PM
hey everybody-- just popping in. Unfortunately, my dad (who lives with me) had a fall hurt his leg, so I'm going to be busy caring for him today.

Official weigh in down 2 for the past week.

Stressed, but it doesn't seem to be throwing me off track.

More soon.

Arctic Mama
07-01-2014, 02:11 PM
Ugh stinking at adhering to my plan even during pregnancy. It's been a rough few months. I'm hoping, however, that the weight loss mojo will come back and I'll rein it in sooner than later. Worst case scenario get all the bites, licks, and tastes out of my system now and then I can hit it hard postpartum. But the less I gain during pregnancy the better and I'm already seeing numbers on the scale I promised I'd never see outside pregnancy again.

Granted, I AM pregnant. But I was hoping to see the numbers in the third trimester, not the end of the first. Ugh.

FeraFilia
07-01-2014, 05:53 PM
Thank you all sooooo much for being such awesome cheerleaders. *THAT* is why I came back here, and it's something I find really helpful along the way. You all are wonderful.

:grouphug:

Sunny - welcome back! And YAY for being almost done with the craziness! I think a huge part of losing weight, especially a significant amount of weight (not just vanity pounds), is learning how to balance the long term process with having a life... And that includes learning how to deal with eating out and socializing, so it's awesome that you're finding that you're getting the hang of it! I don't know about y'all, but I don't plan to be a hermit when I hit goal, so I'm not gonna try to be a hermit for the next couple years while I'm trying to get there! :)

LaurieDawn - We'll both rock July and be better for it! I'm hoping there is a short stint of traveling in my near future (meaning, I hope the cats are over their re-integration issues), but it would only be a 3 day trip, so I should be able to avoid *too* much damage. And if it means hubby gets closer to signing on for this job, then totally worth it! Learning how to not eat my stress has been the hardest part so far.

Diane - I got a Polar FT4 during my last round of weight loss, and it was the most amazing tool in my arsenal. Once I get my stamina back up, I'll be using it again for workouts. But since right now all I'm doing is walking on a treadmill, my FitBit is enough for that. You'll love your HRM!

Lili - Welcome to our little corner of the internet! Everyone here is super wonderful, so I think you found a great spot to hang out. Congratulations on your losses so far, and it looks like we're pretty close to the same spot, scale wise... and I totally know the embarrassment of having to get off of an amusement park ride because I couldn't get the seat belt to buckle. *shudder*

Uber - So sorry to hear about your dad! I'm sure you'll take good care of him. Congrats on your 2 pounds!

Arctic - Hi there! Congrats on your pregnancy! Good luck to you trying to get back into good eating habits while you're pregnant. I don't have kids so I can't imagine the intensity of the cravings, but my best friend tells me it feels like you are going to go insane if you don't get that one thing you want above all the other food in your house. She went through cravings phases... eggs at first (probably because she's vegan and wasn't getting enough protein), then sweet potatoes, then pizza.. and once she got through the cravings, she would get nauseated when she tried to eat the food again because she ate it so much. :)

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Chicken is in the crock pot with marinara sauce, and I'll top it with cheese, and serve over penne, with salads, so dinner's taken care of... went and got the expensive prescription cat food for my high-maintenance kitty, and hubby is off watching World Cup soccer (he doesn't even like soccer, so I don't get it)... Btw, does anyone else think the world cup symbol looks like a facepalm icon? Yeah, I saw that and now I can't unsee it.

Now I get a few minutes to myself. :) I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon/evening!

ubergirl
07-01-2014, 10:34 PM
Hi everybody,

Glad to report that my dad is doing ok. I had to take him to the ER but luckily nothing is broken! Home again. Before I left for the hospital, I packed a sandwich and measured out exactly 1/4 cup of trail mix in case I got stuck there.
Turned out we got out in time for dinner, so I ended up with an on plan day and didn't eat the trail mix out of boredom or nerves in spite of sitting in an ER all day. I call that a win. So many great comments here. Will respond to each of you tomorrow.

Slashnl
07-02-2014, 11:24 AM
Hi all! Love the activity on this thread! Makes it so much fun to read and stay motivated!

Uber: Glad your Dad is doing ok. That's scary stuff! And way to go on the eating part of your day. You're doing great with not allowing stressers to throw you off track.

Mandy: That's what I have, a Polar FT4. I tried it out at spin class today. It was interesting to see the spikes in my heart rate. It showed a lower calorie burn for the class than what MFP shows. I kind of thought that MFP might be too high, but either way, now I know for sure that I don't want to eat back too many of those exercise calories because they may not really be there. :) Your chicken dinner sounds good!

ArticMama: Sounds like you are keeping on top of your weight gain with your pregnancy. Good for you! That was a killer for me, after 2 kids. I didn't worry about what I gained, and I've struggled ever since then. And my youngest is 18 years old, so it's been a long struggle.

Lili: Welcome! Glad you are joining us! It sounds to me like you have a good, solid plan ready to go. Your goals are very aggressive, but I think you have the right attitude and I'm sure you'll be able to meet them! And we'll be here to support you through it all!!!!


Went to Spin this morning. It was really tough, but really good. She played that "This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in" song again. It really means a lot to me. Reinforces what I'm doing.

Have a great day everyone!

LaurieDawn
07-02-2014, 11:54 AM
Diane - I have a handful of "inspirational" songs in my playlist for that exact reason. When it gets really hard to continue, I throw on Eminem's One Shot or Christina Aguilera's Fighter. I am always so impressed by your workouts.

Uber - Those stressful times, especially when they're physically draining (there's something about sitting in a hospital that seems hugely exhausting, for some reason) and anxiety-inducing, are really hard. Way to take care of the really important things without sacrificing your eating plan. Glad to hear your dad is better.

Taryl - So great to see you on this thread. The way that you're able to maintain weight loss in spite of pregnancy and nursing stressors is so incredible.

Lili - Great to have you join us! The support is overwhelmingly important. And, I too have been kicked off an amusement park ride. It was so great when I was able to fit comfortably. You sound like you're totally prepared for this ride.

Mandy - Such exciting news about the job possibility. And your food sounds so great. =)

Gearing up to road trip it over the Fourth of July weekend. Destination is 13 hours away, and will only be gone for a few days. Gonna try to get in some walking stops, do some physically adventurous things, and eat as well as reasonable.

ubergirl
07-02-2014, 01:37 PM
Diane: I have a polar HR monitor too. Haven't been using it lately, but I did really enjoy using it when I got it.

Fera: What a wonderful June! Kudos to you and you will soon be in twoderville!

Lili: you are doing great! and you can definitely do this! Seat belt phobia is a great motivator. I know once I'm into the 270s airplane seat belts get dicey and that's usually enough to keep me scared straight.

Laurie: your dinner situation sounds so frustrating. You sure don't want to waste calories on things like veggie salad with mayo! On the other hand, he really needs to be a little bit more understanding-- he sounds like he equates food with love. :-)

Arctic: I'm sure it must be hard to watch the scale go up after your wonderful losses, but bear in mind that part of your anxiety is just mind games. People gain in fits and starts during pregnancy-- it seems like it should be a smooth arc, but it never is. Maybe you'll put on weight early and then really slow down. I'm sure you'll strike a balance. After delivering a 10.6 oz baby for my second pregnancy, I managed to really keep a tight rein on my diet after that. Didn't want to push out any more ten-pounders-- especially since I did it all au natural. Such a wonderful time being pregnant-- and I'm sure you'll find the right balance between healthy eating, growing your baby, and not letting your weight worries rule the day.

As for me, was dreading scale this am as I could tell I was bloated and rings were tight-- most likely from sitting in hospital all day. Happily, I was down another pound in spite of bloat! Maybe that means I'll go down evener more once I shed the water. Proud of myself for staying on plan even though my life has become a lot more stressful. My next big hurdle will be staying on track through vacation, but that's still more than a month away. Right now, I'm sitting at 17 pounds down since I started in late May. Eight pounds until my first mini-goal seems very doable by vacation-time.

Arctic Mama
07-02-2014, 03:56 PM
Good morning everyone! I'm white knuckling my way back on plan today and tomorrow, will enjoy staying as close to on plan as possible on the 4th, and continue on with the white knuckling.

I'm looking at it and I've given into bite/lick/taste issues, and then justifying all sorts of things I love, like oatmeal, but that don't love me back. I do better at lower carb levels than that, unfortunately. Still, for the time being I'm going to take it one food at a time, no excuses.

So far I'm doing well today. 3 hardboiled eggs and some Dijon mustard, 8 strips bacon (breakfast, really hit the spot), some dark chocolate (15 grams) and a diet coke, lunch will be a salad and a tin of sardines, snack is an iced coffee with sf syrup, dinner will be some hot wings from one of my favorite restaurants. If I'm munchy after dinner I will serve myself some in-shell peanuts.

The carb count on the day is nice and low and the calories are in line. The foods are on plan for me, too, which is good.

I don't usually have to plan so strictly, but at this point I need to get back in the right mindset and overcome my cravings.

FeraFilia
07-03-2014, 12:19 AM
Uber - Glad to see that your dad is doing okay! I use my rings to gauge how much water retention is going on, too. Some mornings (after really carby or high sodium dinners) they will barely move, other mornings they spin on my finger.

Diane - HRMs are so handy. MFP was way over estimating my burns, too. I mean, I know bigger people use more energy to move, but apparently I've gotten so used to moving my bulk around that I was burning just over half of what MFP said I was burning.

LaurieDawn - Have fun on your road trip! Try to make good choices, but don't sacrifice a fun time to do it! I tried that. It was unpleasant. You're on holiday. My holiday rules are eat at maintenance, not deficit, and enjoy it. :)

Arctic - Planning ahead always helps me get back on track, but I'm not sure I'd be able to stick to it in the face of pregnancy cravings!

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My day here was pretty laid back and lazy. Business is a little slow for me right now (I work from home, and sell Tastefully Simple... no parties on my schedule, but I did get a client call and place an order this morning, so there was that?)... So I spend a lot of time at home. Hubby spent his morning doing a research project for his brother about what the bible has to say about divorce and remarriage because unfortunately that's looking like it might be on the horizon for my brother in law, and my in-laws are very religious people. So... who better to ask than the pastor-to-be? (Yeah, I'm still wrapping my head around the "pastor's wife" thing...)

Kitty is still recovering from her surgery, and the other one isn't happy that she's in the apartment... So, reintroducing them (again) is gonna take some time. I let them see each other through a crack in the door every now and then and it's all hissing and growling from Pixie (the healthy one) and Brownie's all like "what gives?".... Starting Sunday we'll let Brownie out in the living area during the day when we can keep an eye on them and make sure they don't fight, and put her back into the guest room at night.

Dinner tonight was chicken boobies again... this time stuffed with crumbled bacon and cheddar cheese and drizzled with bbq sauce, side of steamed mixed veggies. Dinner was delish and not too far over 500 calories. :D

Time for my nightly bite of chocolate, then bedtime soon. Good night, y'all!

ubergirl
07-03-2014, 01:01 AM
I love reading about what everyone is eating. So interesting how we all accomplish the same goals doing such different things.

So here's my dinner:

5.5 oz salmon poached in white wine with chopped herbs from my garden.
chopped cucumber and tomato salad with olive oil and garlic
shredded carrot salad from the garden with a bit of olive oil, lemon and white pepper.
Pasta that I did not eat.
Sugar free popsicle for dessert.

See you tomorrow.

Slashnl
07-03-2014, 11:41 AM
Hi all! So glad it is a short week this week. I struggled getting up today. Tomorrow, the gym is having a debut class for that new spin class that uses the HRM. It is later than I normally go, so I'll get to take my time in getting up and getting there. That's good! I want to get there a little early to make sure I can get a bike. I'm not sure how many people will be there and I really want to be a part of it. Today was body pump. It seemed harder than Tuesday, so I might have been sore. I won't be able to go to body pump next Tuesday because of my very first colonoscopy............. ugh. I want to get my doctor off my back about it, so I'm doing it. One of those things they suggest when you are 50. whatever.

Nothing planned for the weekend, just stuff around the house. I'm looking forward to that, actually!

LaurieDawn: Enjoy your road trip! I kind of like going on road trips. I am not afraid of flying, I just don't like it as much as driving. Hope you have a fun time!

Uber: That's great that you lost another pound! I am like you, too, that my ring tells me all I need to know about water retention. I like it so much better when it comes off easily!! You'll make it through your vacation. You have a great mindset and it won't completely set you back, but I do think you shouldn't be too restrictive with yourself. We have to live and have fun, too!!

Taryl: Well, I am impressed with your choices during your pregnancy. It is so wise to not lose control! It just makes it that much harder to get it back after the baby is born!

Mandy: So, when do you find out if your husband gets the new job? Waiting would be so difficult. I think you'll make an amazing pastor's wife! That's too bad about your brother-in-law. That is difficult, no matter what.

Well, I'll be around this weekend, so I'll be posting. If I don't talk to you guys over the weekend, I hope you have a happy 4th of July!! Be careful! And, we'll be back here next Monday!

ubergirl
07-03-2014, 12:36 PM
Hi everybody!

Diane: good luck with the new spin class! It will be very interesting to use the HR monitor while you spin. When I was running a lot, I used to see my HR go way up early on and I'd get exhausted, then I could actually "see" my second wind. Very interesting. I STILL haven't started exercising but I'm really looking forward to it.

Fera: Glad you had a quiet day. I am keeping my finger's crossed for your hubby's job! Being in limbo is always so hard.

Arctic: Oh I HATE the white knuckle stage!!! But it actually does pass and then it's all so much easier. I've been thinking about trying the SF syrup-- I like to drink ice coffee in the afternoon.

Laurie: Hope your 4th of July trip is much fun!!!

So, rings still tight this morning. Weight holding steady. I'm feeling very depressed and stressed. Yesterday was the exact type of day I'd normally soothe by eating candy. Had to go out to get a walker and special commode for my dad. He has mild dementia, and now, since falling has all kinds of trouble walking around. Plus he has no sense. I'm getting home health care in, but it takes some time to set up. Several times in the car I just burst into tears. Woke up this morning feeling sick of my "no breakfast. just coffee" routine. I'm down 17 lbs which is AWESOME but not enough to really notice a difference-- just that my regular clothes which were getting a little tight fit normally now.

So, what's keeping me going now is determination more than cheerfulness. When I was in the home health store, there were two morbidly obese people buying things-- one was buying an extra wide scooter and the other one, I could see that he had serious circulation problems in his lower legs. I remembered what Diane said about losing weight to protect mobility-- and boy can I see that now. My dad is thin and used to be very athletic and he is having a devil of a time getting around. If he were obese, forget it.

Sorry for the long rant. Hope you all have an awesome 4th! I have no big plans, so no tempting barbecues to turn down.

FeraFilia
07-03-2014, 03:10 PM
Uber - Would you believe I've *never* had salmon? It surprises me every time I read a salmon recipe and think it sounds good, but I'm not quite sure because I don't know what salmon tastes like! I hope things get easier for you and your dad soon. I've seen folks in my family go through the same thing with older family members and it's never easy, especially the dementia. Chin up chickadee. Eye on the prize! :)

Diane - This call process for new pastors is a long one. It's a lot of waiting around. There are *so* many steps. Here's a basic order of events:

- The first step is the matching of paperwork at the bishop's office (this happened in mid-May).
- Contact is made and an interview is set up with the church council (late-May).
- If the call committee likes the candidate, a 2nd interview is set up (early June)
- If all goes well there, they vote, and if 2/3rds approve (he got a unanimous vote!)
- Then his name is submitted to church council (mid-June)
- Then church council calls and sets up an interview (July 15)
- If they like him there, they vote (again, 2/3rds majority)
- If *that* vote goes through, they schedule another visit for a meet and greet and possibly leading worship for the congregation
- Then the congregation votes (again 2/3rds)
- If THAT one goes through, then the church will issue a call.
- Once the call is issued, ordination ceremony (in Virginia), we'll move up there, then have an installation ceremony (in Indiana)

So yeah, it requires a LOT of patience. But, the good news is, the biggest hurdle to get over is the call committee and generally speaking, most times if the call committee votes yes, then things tend to proceed fairly easily to a call being issued. It's much more common that votes go through, than not at this point. So, we're hoping things work, and that we get to move up there by the end of August. I'm hopeful, because the call committee said the congregation is pretty excited about having a young pastor (And at 31, hubby is considered pretty young for a pastor). I am really excited about this place. The people were wonderful (the 6 that I met), the church is gorgeous, the parsonage felt like it could be home, and I adore the area. It's so small town, middle-of-nowhere farm town with LOTS of space. Sorry for the huge answer, but there's a LOT to it!

I'll also be around for the weekend. We're thinking of maybe going to the next county over (like 45 minute drive) to the peach festival they are having on the 4th. Lots of peach-centric foods, a revolutionary war re-enactment, a classic car show, lots of arts and crafts booths, live entertainment, and closing out with fireworks. Could be fun. Saturday we're gonna go to a cook out with some friends of ours that we haven't seen in a while, because she lives out of the state and is in town to visit with her boyfriend. I'm taking turkey sweet Italian sausages (they are so good) and making a dill pickle dip (with greek yogurt) and some gluten free cookies. It'll be good times! :)

And for everyone struggling now... I saw this and thought it was pretty awesome. :)

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/motivational_zps7aaadd78.gif

ubergirl
07-03-2014, 05:08 PM
Fera: Salmon is just delicious! Even my most picky eater kid will eat salmon. And the bonus? It's relatively low in calories, so you can have a pretty big piece. It is one of the world's most satisfying foods. Usually people who don't like "fishy fish" still like salmon.

FeraFilia
07-03-2014, 05:18 PM
I love most seafood, white flaky fish is my favorite... We eat a loooot of tilapia here. Do you have a favorite salmon recipe? I like Italian-y flavored foods. Lots of garlic and parmesan. :)

Arctic Mama
07-03-2014, 09:26 PM
Yesterday went great, today I caved to fresh chocolate chip cookies. Grr! I actually cried out for public help on my low carb forum, because it's been several months of burnout and regain and I just can't seem to get it together, after almost six years of being on the ball. Seriously?

The good news is that I didn't fall into the what-the-**** trap. I wrote the cookies down and kept the rest of my food on track. I have sensible plans for dinner still. I am NOT giving up. But whether or not I should go back to, say, induction for this, or stick with a more moderate plan to get my weight loss mojo back is what I keep vascillating on. Too permissive and I go completely off the rails. Too strict and I struggle with food aversion and nausea, yay pregnancy. So I'm a little stuck right now but NEED to mitigate weight gain.

Arctic Mama
07-03-2014, 09:27 PM
Fera - candidating is stressful for both pastor AND church, it's a ton of work most people don't realize!

Slashnl
07-04-2014, 06:44 PM
Hi all! Happy 4th of July!!!

So, started the day with the new spin class, MOI - mind over intensity. Oh boy, was it hard! I thought I was somewhat of a beast on the spin bike, but this class kicked my butt. I think it will be good to have once a week, but there is no way I could do it much more than that. They help you determine your max heart rate and then you spend most of the class trying to obtain certain levels. I could meet some of them, but certainly not all. I was trying to decide if I enjoyed it... not so much... but then I talked to the instructor and she said that it might take a while before you can get your heart rate up that high. So... after recovering from the hour long class... I have decided that it is a good thing, a much bigger challenge, but something that I need to keep improving. But it was hard. My legs were like jello after the class. I took a shower, got ready for the day and then was on my way to the store. I drive a truck with a clutch and when I was leaving the parking lot, my leg would shake when I pushed in the clutch! Oh well. I'm still somewhat feeling it even now.

But, having a very relaxing day. We're making some homemade ice cream, so I've been fairly careful with calories today so that I can have a nice bowl. If I go over, that's ok. Need to enjoy a little bit!

Uber: I'm sorry you're having some struggles. Just keep going, I know you will lose more soon. With the issues with your Dad, I'm sure you have tons of stress. It might be the stress, and if it is hot where you are, could it be that, too? I don't know. Hang in there! You're so right about mobility. I know it just scares me to think about being so restricted because of weight.

Mandy: Wow, that is a process. I know you had said before that there is a lot to it. Patience is a virtue, I guess! Ha! I love the motivational saying. I saved that. It is just so true!!

Taryl: Hope you are hanging in there. You are doing well. Sometimes, you just gotta have a cookie! :)

Well, have a great night everyone!!

ubergirl
07-04-2014, 11:34 PM
Diane: homemade ice cream. Boy does that sound good. One of life's great treats!

Fera: I wish I knew a good recipe for salmon. I don't do anything when I cook it. I either throw it on the griddle plain or poach it in white wine. I'm a boring cook!

Taryl: eating one homemade chocolate chip cookie shows excellent restraint! Plus, really they taste less and less good the more you eat, so you got the very best part.

My day was not bad. Got some home health help in for my dad, and also, he's actually recovering a lot quicker than I expected. Two days ago, he couldn't walk, and today he was walking around just fine. Very boring 4th as I spent the whole day working-- dreaded deadline. But I was working so hard I barely thought about food. When I really concentrate, I actually forget about eating until it's getting late and I'm starving hungry. Scale showed another pound down. In spite of my tough week I've been excellent about staying on plan.

FeraFilia
07-05-2014, 12:10 AM
Hey everyone. Hope y'all had a good 4th. :)

We ended up staying home because I wasn't feeling so great... Probably due to lack of sleep last night. For some reason I just couldn't get to sleep. It was nearly 6:30am before I finally felt like I could, then I had weird and bad dreams and gave up on actual rest around noon and got out of bed. My weigh in today was depressing, so that didn't help. It didn't go up, but it didn't go down much either... only 0.2 from Tuesday. Eh.

I had no energy today and wasn't really hungry for meals. So I pretty much snacked my way through 8 hours, and about 1700 calories. I think the only "real" food I had in there was a 5oz pork chop, a bowl of grapes, a thing of Greek yogurt, and some cheese. The rest was pretty snacky. Unless you count a PBJ and a glass of milk as real food. I had that, too.

And I made a cake to take to a cook out tomorrow. No frosting for it yet, have to pick that up in the morning before we go. I'm also taking a dip made out of base of fat free plain Greek yogurt and light sour cream to go with some veggies, so I'll have that 'safe' snack food. (Do I get bonus points because the cake is gluten free? Heh. There's still a stick of butter in it... "light" it is not.)

Uber - Good news about your dad! Hopefully he'll continue to progress without issue. Kudos to you for staying on top of your eating while dealing with the stress of the week.

Diane - I feel like a dummy, but I actually had to google "spin class" to know what the heck you were talking about. Good for you embracing the difficulty and wanting to get better. Only good things can come from that. :)

Arctic - The whole process is much more work than I realized! My husband neglects to tell me some important details sometimes. But he's pretty great otherwise, so I've learned to forgive. :) Good job getting right back on track after slipping up. I have a motivational thing for that problem, too. LOL... I need my motivational pictures! It says "Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward!" definitely better than turning around and going the other way.

Slashnl
07-05-2014, 04:26 PM
Hi all. Survived the homemade ice cream! It was really good, but just tons of calories to record. Oh well. We don't do that too often. It was a pretty relaxing day, but didn't get much done.

Uber: Glad that your dad is doing so well. That's good news. Oh, and good news on being another pound down! I've been keeping an eye on the scale, hoping to see a 240's number, but not yet. Maybe by Monday, it will give in.

Mandy: Sorry, should have been more descriptive about the spin class. It is one of my favorite workouts. I went this morning, and they said that the new, more difficult class will be on Saturdays too. So, it will be during my usual Friday, 6:00 am class, and the one on Saturday at 8:30. Hmm. We'll see how that goes. :)

Well, better go get some stuff done.

ubergirl
07-05-2014, 04:50 PM
Diane: Regarding the ice cream-- sometimes you just have to! And I really think adopting a policy of sometimes eating what you want is good. I'm determined to be flexible and find a way to go off plan from time to time without getting totally off track. We will all cheer loudly when you see a number in the 240s! You are doing great!

Mandy: Sounds like your snack day was still healthy. I'm a MESS when I don't sleep enough. Kind of tired and headachy today, probably for the same reason.
.02 isn't much-- but you are moving the in the right direction! Isn't it funny how we don't really care about the .02 that gets us from something .08 to something .06 but then one that nudges us down the next full pound is golden!

I saw 267.2 on the scale this am and I'm still 2 days away from official weigh in.
I did not eat any meals out this week, which means that my calories have been well inside my range for every single meal. I think the scale is going to reward me. Right now, the only tangible results I've seen are that my "fat clothes" are fitting normally instead of very tight. Would LOVE to drop a size, but if I recall correctly, I really don't start dropping sizes until I get into the 230s. Sadly, I gave away all of my "on the way down" clothes... Last time around, I rushed out to buy clothes every time I dropped a size... I remember that I bought a bunch of sz 20 women's clothing and then just a quick it was swimming on me. Those were the days! Can't wait to get there again!

FeraFilia
07-06-2014, 05:52 PM
Oh my goodness. I have had such a lazy 2 days in a row. Both Friday and Saturday were completely lazy. Hubby and I spent most of yesterday visiting with a friend of his who was visiting her boyfriend who lives locally. So we went over to his house and had a little cook out and played a lot of Mario Kart. It was lots of good fun, and I enjoyed it, but there wasn't very much movement going on. My cake went over well, too! It was a Tastefully Simple mix I wanted to try out and needed guinea pigs lol. Pretty good overall, and excellent for a gluten-free cake. Plus, my frosting got raves! I mixed some low fat cream cheese with some splenda, lime juice, and coconut extract, then folded in about half a tub of lite cool whip to frost the cake. So, the frosting isn't too bad, calorie wise. :) (It went on a coconut lime cake).

Trying to make up for the last two lazy days and have taken 2 "laps" around the campus today (it's a small campus), so it was only like, a mile and a half walk. But I'll be going to the gym later to do my nightly walk on the treadmill, too, so that will help. I'm hoping all the sweating (because it's hot and humid here) is getting rid of some of the excess sodium I had last night while eating with friends.

I hope you all are having a fabulous holiday weekend!

ubergirl
07-06-2014, 06:23 PM
Fera: I LOVE reading about your cooking ideas! You must be a great cook.

Worked all day today again. Deadline issues! But the amazing thing. Here it is 3 pm and I never ate anything all day. Truly, work is the only thing that makes me forget to eat.

I have lots of calories available to eat a good dinner!

FeraFilia
07-06-2014, 07:34 PM
Uber: Before I met my husband, I could barely scramble an egg! Half the time it either ended up a runny yucky mess or it became a charred lump in the skillet... it went back and forth, I often over corrected. I didn't learn how to cook until I met my husband, and realized he was even more hopeless in the kitchen than I was. SO... I bought myself a cook book, and taught myself how to cook. I don't have very many "original" ideas, but I do love to try new recipes and see if I can adapt them to make different variations, since I get a little bit bored if I don't have variety. :)

Tonight is tilapia topped with sour cream, panko, parm, garlic, and a little pepper. It comes to between 300-400 calories for 2 fillets, depending on the size of the fillet and if you use light or regular sour cream. It's become one of my go-to dishes. And it's great if you don't have a lot of calories left in the day at dinner time. Eat it with some steamed broccoli, and you've got a huge meal without taking a huge calorie hit!

If you haven't checked it out, www.skinnytaste.com and www.slenderkitchen.com are good sites for lower calorie recipes.

ubergirl
07-06-2014, 08:21 PM
Fera: Yum. The tilapia sounds delicious. I hardly ever eat tilapia as I got kind of sick of it, but with sour cream, panko, parm, and garlic I'll bet it's the bomb.

SunnyMac
07-07-2014, 05:25 AM
Good morning ladies, this is just a quick check in. I have had another busy few days since my last post and have been straying and off plan this time. No good. So here it is, Monday, my schedule seems to be FINALLY back to normal...no lunches/dinners out, no late nights at work, no visitors, no parties, no holidays. It's Monday, 5:24 am and I'm up and off to the gym. Trying to get this butt back on track. More later....I felt better and stronger with a quick check in and reality check.

LotusMama
07-07-2014, 09:25 AM
Hi, Everyone:

Okay if I join your thread? I am just returning to 3FC. l lost 50 pounds 5 years ago and was a faithful 3FC member. I really liked the support here and it was an important part of my weight loss journey.

I didn't reach my goal in 2009 and slowly started to regain the weight I lost. I have not only gained the 50 pounds I lost, but I gained an additional 20.

I am glad to be back. I am determined to turn things around.

SunnyMac
07-07-2014, 10:14 AM
ok this is a bit better for a real check in - and by better I mean not 5am huddled over an iphone while i try to figure out how to put pants on so I can go to the gym. I'm kind of a hot mess sometimes.

Ok so here goes - I have not been on plan for the better part of this last week. My professional schedule got the best of me. Between the early mornings, late nights, special events, a client breakfast, 2 client lunches and 3 client dinners over 4 days I was revved up in the wrong direction and hit the holiday weekend like a ton of bricks. I got in a workout on Saturday but I don't really think that one little workout is saving my soul from the overload.

To sum it up today I feel like CRAP!!!!! To put it bluntly but as delicately as possible my body is basically rejecting my last week by initiating a major digestive upheaval and I am engaged in war with my own body. I'm so bloated and gassy I feel like I'm waddling, my back hurts, I'm tired and it's lame. In general I'm one of those crazy eaters - we are a majority organic, home grown, direct farm purchased, home made from scratch, no processed, non GMO, grass fed, homesteading type house - I may overeat those types of food (pasta is bad whether it's made of organic whole wheat or brown rice or not) but I'm just in general not a 'junk' eater mainly because I'd rather eat 'real food' and not something that's main ingredient is partially hydrogenated soybean oil. SO knowing that you can only imagine how my digestive system is reacting to the list of things I ate that were out of the norm this past week - on that list includes cookies, MacDonalds, Cheetos, traditional American BBQ food (think boxed burgers, white buns, heaps of pasta salad) full fat iced lattes, chocolate chip muffins, beer, booze filled cool-aid... etc. I am just not sure what is wrong with because these are things I never eat anyway so it's not like these are even old habits that I was putting in my mouth - these were heavily processed foreign objects that I never even bother with or think of!

All I can do now I guess is pay the price, put it in the past and get back in the saddle. Thankfully starting this week I'll be back in a place of professional schedule normalcy (as normal as it ever gets...) and I've got a few weeks grounded before my next big thing so I'm hoping for time to focus. I went to the gym this morning, I've got all my food counted and planned for today - I'm trying to shove as much fiber and water into my body to help 're-regulate' and flush out my system so on the line up today is lots of fruit and veggies, lean protein, avoiding the big bad trio of bread, rice and pasta. I got a good cardio workout this morning, I'm going to try to get an afternoon walk in after lunch and just focus focus focus.

Slashnl
07-07-2014, 12:31 PM
Well, up 1.6 pounds this week. Ugh. I've had a couple of slip ups this week, but I didn't think it was that much. But, I feel like my ring is a little tight and I'm not going to let this freak me out. Well, maybe a little, but more that it is just frustrating. I want to get into the 240's and it just seems like a big block is in the way. But, refocus and move forward. I'll have to just stay on track.

SunnyMac: It looks like you have a good plan to get back to feeling good. It is hard when so much is out of your control. Hope your body gets back to feeling really good!!

LotusMama: Welcome!! Glad you are joining us! We're all here because of regains and trying to lose again, so we totally understand! We're here to support each other!

Mandy: Sometimes it is good to have some lazy days! I had a couple of them too. It was just so hot!

Uber: Good distractions to keep from being hungry! I know when I'm at home, I think about being hungry way more than when I'm at work.

ubergirl
07-07-2014, 02:06 PM
Diane: HUGE BUMMER about the uptick. I logged in thinking you'd be in the 240s. Just out of curiosity do you ever drink diet soda? I was really bloated/rings tight for several of the past days. Finally I realized that I had started drinking some diet soda (which I shamefully love) and it must have been the sodium. I quit yesterday and went back to water and ice tea and voila! Anyway, hang in there, as I'm sure it's going to be soon soon soon!

Lotus Mama: Hi and welcome! I think I remember you! I lost 110 lbs in 2009 2010 and I kept it off for a year but then had some really stressful months and gained a good chunk of it back. Now, I'm working on going back down. This is a very supportive spot-- perfect for the regainers! We get it.

Sunny Mac: So sorry about your chaotic week with all of the meals out! It can be really hard to work on weight loss when you are traveling a lot! And I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy! Been there, done that! The only thing I can say is that I travelled A LOT and attended tons of functions in 2011 and again in 2012-2013. In 2011 when I was maintaining a weight loss, I managed just fine in spite of the banquets, meals out, airplanes etc. Now, in 2013, when my head wasn't in the game, I always ended up eating way too much of the wrong stuff. Bottom line-- it is hard to keep on track when you are being wined and dined and traveling and etc. but it is not impossible. YOU CAN DO THIS!

As for me, yesterday I was working like crazy all day-- got to be 3 pm, and I decided just to skip "lunch" and wait for dinner. Ate a nice dinner and ended the day with only 569 calories total. Stepped on the scale this am and OF COURSE the net result was that I was up one pound, to which I can only say LOL.

So, I've always been a daily weigher and I decided to try to have an "official" weigh in day and record my weight only on Tuesdays, but now, I'm realizing that I'm too much of a nut job to have an official weigh in day-- because then a lot of my dysfunctional weigh-in stuff starts to kick in and I feel that I have a tendency to want to restrict more and more to maximize the "official" day. So, back to daily weighing for me. it's easier for me to just accept the stalls and the bounces if it's part of my daily routine. I have had a really good week-- not a single meal out or any questionable choices. As of yesterday, I was down 19. I am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to hitting the 20 lb mark. Since the regain, I've never managed to lose more than twelve. Tomorrow is my 6 week mark. Yay me!

FeraFilia
07-07-2014, 03:12 PM
Just throwing this in here because it's how I'm feeling today. Panel 4, in specific trying not to fall into panel 5.

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/aydiet_zps9641bf78.png

From http://theawkwardyeti.com/

SunnyMac
07-07-2014, 04:54 PM
Thanks chicks

FERA STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE I REPEAT STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE! If I can do it today then so can you!!!!!

Diane sorry to hear for the increase - don't let it get you down. You want it you will get it!!!!

Uber that 20 mark is close. If weighing every day as a part of a routine is what works for you then I say do it. I see weird things too - if I am on track in general and have one day WAY over or WAY under on calories I gain the next morning however what is even weirder is if I have a glass of wine the next night I'll be down 3 or 4 lbs the next morning. Too bad I'm trying not to drink!

I had a moment when I when an office email came around today about new office snacks that I wanted popcorner's chips and cashews then I realized I don't even know what a popcorner's chip is and stepped away and got my planned afternoon yogurt. I am feeling a bit better than i was this morning but I'm a little headachy....food withdrawls? Probably.

So far I started today with my egg white bake breakfast (on sunday I throw diced potatoes, onions, shredded cheddar (I use half a regular size bag...1/4 mixed in and 1/4 on top) and either low sodium ham or turkey bacon and various vegetables that were left over from the week into a baking dish and mix it in with egg whites and bake it till it's done and eat that all week) I work out in the mornings so this is a nice post work out heavier breakfast to get me through the morning still coming in under 300 calories and takes 1 minute in the mircowave AND uses up all my leftover veggies that would be otherwise bound for the compost. From there I had grapes and pineapple for a snack, a small salad with feta and steak tips for lunch, afternoon snack is yogurt with homemade low sugar granola and blueberries (farm fresh from yesterday - DELICIOUS). I've got to hold out at the office for about 45 more minutes then I'll be on my way home and I'm trying to get through a full 750ml bottle of water in that time. Dinner tonight I'm committing to a chicken breast with steamed snap peas and cauliflower mash. To keep me busy this evening I'm going to be prepping strawberry jam for canning (an attempt at low sugar no pectin jam that is a 2 day process so we shall see how that goes)

Technically as of right now I'm going to be 'over' today from my net calorie goal of 1200 by 129 calories but I'm not done moving yet. I committed to a minimum 10k steps a day goal (in addition to gym time) and do pretty well meeting that so I've got some more walking to do today which I should get in 2000-3000 on my evening commute then whatever I do this evening once I get home.

I forgot I wanted to share something last week - I'm not sure if anyone has heard this song or seen this video but it made me smile and I liked it enough that downloaded it for my gym playlist If you want to check it out the video is on youtube etc - just search 'All About that Bass/Meghann Trainor' I don't know if people will like it or not but I thought it was catchy:)

FeraFilia
07-07-2014, 08:18 PM
Okay, I think I'm over most of that hump. Ugh. Only had one little piece of chocolate, too. I keep an 'emergency' supply of Hershey's Nuggets - Extra creamy milk chocolate w/ toffee and almonds in the fridge for just such an occasion. 50 calories for a nugget, and they pack a punch!

I woke up all grumpy and headachey and crampy and I think TOM may be showing up (finally... only 3 weeks later than anticipated - PCOS is a pain) but I could be wrong. Sorry for my lack of commentary earlier! I swear I read everything. I just didn't have the functioning brain power to sit down and form some type of individual responses to everyone.

I'm about to wander off to the gym here soon, so hopefully I can shake out the last of the cobwebs. :)

ubergirl
07-07-2014, 08:30 PM
Fera: way to manage the chocolate craving! This afternoon I ate one perfectly crispy and salty Ruffles potato chip-- nabbed from my son's serving. Making salmon (my fave) carrots, and tomato and cucumber salad for dinner.

FeraFilia
07-07-2014, 11:39 PM
Ha! I do the "one chip" thing or the "one bite" thing of something I'm trying to avoid if my husband is eating it. Another reason why I generally leave a cushion of 100 calories in my day!

LotusMama
07-08-2014, 12:29 AM
Lotus Mama: Hi and welcome! I think I remember you! I lost 110 lbs in 2009 2010 and I kept it off for a year but then had some really stressful months and gained a good chunk of it back. Now, I'm working on going back down. This is a very supportive spot-- perfect for the regainers! We get it.

Hi, ubergirl--thanks welcoming me back. I actually remember you, too! I was glad to see you were still here. Thanks for the encouragement!

I think I may make Sundays my weigh-in day. Last time I lost weight, weighing once a week worked best for me...I tend to get scale obsessed. Let's see if I can actually wait until Sunday, though.

Hope everyone had a good Monday! I am glad to be a part of this thread.

FeraFilia
07-08-2014, 12:34 AM
Hi LotusMama and welcome! :)

I weigh twice a week (Tuesday and Friday) and track it on an app on my tablet so I can see the general trend. It's handy.

I understand about scale obsession though. When I was here before and lost 50 pounds in 2011/2012 (different account) I got to the point where I was weighing every single morning and going nuts if it wasn't a perfect linear progression. So, while I couldn't completely wean back to once a week, twice a week is muuuuch easier on my state of mind. :)

martini
07-08-2014, 04:38 AM
Hello everyone! :)

I lost just over 100lb in 2011/2012 and have regained about half of that. By some miracle there's been a click in my head recently and I'm on day 2 of being back on plan.

This support network was invaluable two years ago and I wanted to check in once again and say hello to old and new friends!

LotusMama
07-08-2014, 09:46 AM
Hi, Martini--welcome back. Glad you're here!

Thanks, Fera, for the welcome. When to weigh (or not) is so tricky, isn't it?!

Hope everyone has a good day!

LaurieDawn
07-08-2014, 11:41 AM
Back from the Fourth of July roadtrip. Did not stay on plan at all. Too much driving. Not enough walking. Glad to be back in my office and at work and back into somewhat of a routine.

LotusMama and Martini - Great to have you on board!

I read everyone else's posts, but am not going to respond individually yet. Just really glad to be back in the warm safety of routine, and ready to push forward.

Slashnl
07-08-2014, 12:22 PM
Hi everyone! Lots of activity on here, love it!

I'm recuperating from my disappointment on the scale. Actually, it wasn't THAT horrible, but just a little frustrating. I have to keep in mind that my weight loss has never been linear and there will be weeks that are just no fun. Hopefully, I can get it turned around this week. And, with that attitude, I am still going to be a little scale obsessed for now. I prefer to only record my weight once a week, on Mondays. However, if I see 240 anything, I'm putting it down! :) 249.5 is just a mini goal as it was the lowest I've been since 2005. I want to see it again.

I had to fight a bad mood this morning, though, to get to the gym. I made myself go, and sure enough, felt better after working out. It's like the avatar I use on MFP that says: You're only one workout away from a good mood. Anyway, onward.

LaurieDawn: It is good to be in a routine. So much easier to stay on track. Sometimes you have times when you aren't on plan, but you just have to put it in the past and move on! You're back in and you'll be great!

Martini: Welcome! So glad you're joining us! You can do it!

LotusMama: Yeah, scale obsession is not good! I am giving in to it for now. But once a week is probably a healthier way to be! Never thought of weighing in on Sunday. Monday and Friday have been my usual choices.

Mandy: Good that you don't move on to other frames within the cartoon you posted! Ha! We just have to stop! I love those nugget candies. Good stuff!

Uber: No, I don't drink diet soda. I think I was just far enough off plan to cause some retention. Sometimes I can relax a little too much on being on plan and it messes with the week. Oh, and we WILL celebrate when you make that 20 pound mark! You're so close!!!!

SunnyMac: Good job on the 10K steps per day. I think that's a good goal!

FeraFilia
07-08-2014, 01:30 PM
Hello all!

I am in an excellent mood today, thank you scale! 305.0! 2.2 down from Friday, and I'm assuming there was some water hiding a loss, because I doubt I *actually* lost 2.2 pounds in 3-4 days. I just haven't been that good with the food. SO close to getting my booty out of the 300s. I had to step on the scale like 3 times to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

Diane - I'm gonna be scale obsessed until I see 299.8, so we can just be scale obsessed together for the next few pounds :) Glad you made it through your bad mood and made it to the gym!

LaurieDawn - Welcome back! Hope you had fun!

Lotus - It's allll a mind game. Like Uber said earlier we poo-poo a .2 loss, unless it's the one that gets us to the next pound, or especially "decade" down. for me, 300.0 to 299.8 will be a *world* of difference! Silly psychology.

Hi Martini! And welcome! I had my loss in 2011/2012 as well and had to come back. I lost 50ish, then gained 80! Ugh. Back in it, and I'm almost back to my *last* start weight. (300 even)

Have a great day y'all... I gotta go get my beans soaking for dinner tonight. :)

ubergirl
07-08-2014, 02:58 PM
Mandy: Hooray for good scale days! You are on a roll! You will be in twoderland before long!

Diane: Hope you see 249.5 very soon. You have a great attitude. I like the way you roll with the punches.

Martini: welcome! We are all about tackling those regains! You've come to the right place. If you are anything like me, the first 3 days are the worst and then it starts to get easier. You are almost there!

Laurie: Welcome back! Hope the road trip was awesome. Life absolutely requires that we cut loose and have fun from time to time, and now, you can slip right back into your routine.

As for me-- happy to report that I saw 265.8 today, and so I'm calling it TWENTY POUNDS DOWN! 4 lb loss this week! On the downside, I need to check myself as I think I'm getting a little too restrictive. From now on, I am weighing daily (which I was doing anyway, LOL) and changing my ticker whenever I see a (downward) change. I've been insanely hungry for the last two days, but I was focusing on trying to hit the 20lb mark by today. I know that I can go overboard and I'm going to try to back off a bit.

martini
07-08-2014, 08:32 PM
What Mandy was saying about the psychology of it all got me thinking about something that's been lurking in the back of my head. How do people think about where they're at in terms of weight? I haven't managed to settle on one perspective and I'm wondering how other people wrap their heads around their gain/regain.

Just to make it a bit more concrete... When I weighed myself on Saturday I was at 293lb. If I compare it to where I was two years ago, I think "oh ****, I gained 50lb." Then I relaunched the program I used to use to track my eating (Lose It! FWIW) and when I entered my data, it congratulated me on my 50lb weight loss as I'm still down 50lb from my high weight. So I either lost 50lb or gained 50lb or I'm starting my weight loss journey at 293lb.

This may be an opportunity to create a new start point for myself. I can remember how disheartening it was to have lost 100lb and still be fat. Maybe I can start at 293lb and 193lb won't be as much of a bummer.

I don't know that I'm asking a question as much as I'm asking for help giving myself a context. I want to be honest and loving towards myself. I want a story in my head that's helpful rather than abusive. Have any of you also encountered that sort of navigation problem?

FeraFilia
07-08-2014, 10:24 PM
I think of it as a start point, but I gained past my previous start weight, so there's really nothing else to think of it as heh. Honestly, stressing and berating ourselves over the slip is pretty much useless, as it just brings our overall mood down, and that doesn't motivate anyone to lose weight. I posted this on Facebook earlier today after calling myself a "stupid fatass" because I dropped something in the kitchen.

"I really need to make an effort to stop insulting myself, both out loud, and in my head. I insult my intelligence, my appearance, my competence. I would not be friends with anyone who talked to me like that, so why do I allow myself to continue to accept insults from the ONE person I HAVE to live with forever? It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but it still happens far too often to be healthy. It needs to stop."

I can't dwell on the fact that I regained, I just need to focus on getting back down to where I was, and beyond. I can be miserable and dwell on what's done... or I can be positive and motivated and continue moving forward. I prefer to be positive. :)

(Also, Martini - we've got similar stats current, goal and height wise!)

ubergirl
07-08-2014, 10:30 PM
Just to make it a bit more concrete... When I weighed myself on Saturday I was at 293lb. If I compare it to where I was two years ago, I think "oh ****, I gained 50lb." Then I relaunched the program I used to use to track my eating (Lose It! FWIW) and when I entered my data, it congratulated me on my 50lb weight loss as I'm still down 50lb from my high weight. So I either lost 50lb or gained 50lb or I'm starting my weight loss journey at 293lb.

Martini, I'm so glad you brought this up. I think about this quite a lot. I'm inclined to look at my weight loss as an enormous 5 year project that I started in 2009. From that perspective, I'm 30 lbs lighter than I was back then, and had I not spent a lot of time and effort trying to lose weight and then maintain it, I have absolutely no doubt that I was headed on the path to just keep on gaining.

I do get frustrated when I realize that to get back to where I was two years ago I have to lose about 75 more pounds (and spend A LOT OF HOURS running and swimming laps...)

But, I like to think of it differently. The way I see it, against all odds, I have maintained a roughly 30 lb loss, more or less, with some ups and downs, for 5 years. During the 18 years between age 30 and age 49, my basic trajectory was UP every single year. So, if I take the roughly 30 lb loss I've maintained (with some bumps) and ADD ten pounds a year, which is what I averaged during my 40s) then I would weigh 350 lbs right now. 90 lbs more than I actually weigh.

I did not managed to maintain the 110 lb loss, but I did discover that I don't have to settle for UP, UP, and UP. I have the tools to ratchet back down, and even if it doesn't last forever and I have to do it again, it's better than the alternative.

Hope that makes sense.

LotusMama
07-09-2014, 01:15 AM
Great discussion. Since I gained all of the weight I lost back plus twenty pounds, my start weight is where I am right now. But, I think the larger point you make, Martini, is a good one. So much of losing weight is about perspective and where you are in your head. At least that is true for me.

I am trying to be more accepting of myself and think that, even though I am at my highest weight ever right now, I am making progress in that regard. It is hard though.

Uber and Mandy, congrats on your progress! Nice work!

ubergirl
07-09-2014, 01:21 PM
Lotus Mama: I'm sure it must be discouraging to be at your highest weight ever, but to put it in perspective, I am REALLY looking forward to getting back to what you weigh, because I feel like 230 is the point where I start to look and feel fairly normal. Not trying to get too personal, but since we are the same height, I'm wondering if you have a really small frame? The least I've ever weighed in my whole life was 145, and that was when I was in the Peace Corps, climbed mountains all the time, had intestinal parasites, and barely ate anything. I was SKINNY. I don't have a small frame, but I can't imagine getting anywhere near 130. I know people's bodies are all different, so my comment might be totally off base.

As for me, I really had a bad evening last night. I had gotten myself so hungry that I had reached the point that I felt like no matter what I ate I would never be full. I was having a hungry day yesterday anyway, then I ended up needing to wait dinner until after 8 pm because my husband and son were out at a game. Before I ate, I decided that I was going to plan to eat a bigger meal. So I ate a large serving of pasta with sauce-- the entire dish was about 750 calories. Then, I felt guilty, even though my total calories for the day was only 1400 (I normally do 1200) Anyway, this morning, I didn't wake up starving and I'm going back to daily weighing-- otherwise, for me, I start ratcheting down the calories the closer I get to the official weigh in day, which is doubly idiotic since I was already weighing every day, I just wasn't "counting" it. When it comes to food, weight, etc. my mind is a very bizarre place. :-)

Slashnl
07-09-2014, 01:36 PM
Hi all. Interesting discussion here. I guess I'm in the same boat as LotusMama because I didn't have a partial regain, I regained it all plus some. So, my starting weight was the highest ever (yay me), and that's what I went with. It's a tough call though. On the one hand, you should get credit for the weight you already lost from before, so showing your highest weight ever as your starting weight will give you that visual of having lost some already. But, if you want a fresh start, then the regain final weight would be the one to use. This sounds like something I would overthink, so I guess it is a good thing that my highest ever is also my regained weight. And, like Mandy said, it is too much strain to think about what was regained and to continue to beat yourself up. While you need to recognize that weight was regained and it is good to figure out why it happened and how to avoid it in the future, you must give yourself credit for stopping the madness and getting back in control, to lose it again.

Mandy: Yep, scale obsession it is!! It went down some today, but not there yet. :) We'll get there!

Uber: Big congratulations to you!!!!! That is so awesome! You DID it! Now you need a new goal. Ha! Thanks for the comment on my attitude. Sometimes I'm not feeling it as much as other days. But, I am really trying to be different this time. (My song: This time I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in.) It is a long haul. It is tedious. But if it takes a long time to get to goal, that's ok. Time will pass anyway, might as well keep going.

Martini: Good job on setting the starting weight. Now you can just move forward and see those lower numbers. You got it!

LotusMama: Good point about perspective and where you are in your head. It makes such a difference in how you view the whole process.

Slashnl
07-09-2014, 01:40 PM
Uber: We posted at about the same time. Just wanted to say that you are not alone when you say " When it comes to food, weight, etc. my mind is a very bizarre place. :-) " I don't know that I'll ever be there, but wouldn't it be nice to not think about food, calories, weight, etc with such an obsession?

Oh well.

FeraFilia
07-09-2014, 02:00 PM
Good afternoon all! :)

Diane and Uber: I can relate to that statement! My brain is so weird when it comes to the scale, weight, and food. Probably in a slightly different way, but I have to tell myself EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. that 1) Food is fuel for my body, 2) Food is NOT evil, 3) Food is not for entertainment, and 4) Food is not for comfort.

The first two are hard to overcome at the beginning, because you want to lose FAST (even though, logically, we know that's bad news), and so every calorie not eaten becomes a potential fraction of a pound gone, and in the past I've gotten to the point where I'd celebrate having a total for the day under 1000. It's easy to slip back into that mindframe when the weight isn't coming off as quickly as you'd like, or you have a couple busy days when you accidentally go too low, and it comes off quicker to think "why am I not just doing THIS?! And then the last 2 are the demons that chase me around every day and eventually caught up with me to cause me to eat myself into a food coma regularly for the entertainment and comfort it brought from the situation I was in (and thus the regain). They are still there, and it's a daily effort to tell them to take a hike.

I also want my loss to be a straight line when plotted on a line graph. I don't like zig zags, and I don't, emotionally, want to see a 'trend' I want to see a straight line toward my goal. Even though I really, truly, DO know that weight loss is not linear. Sometimes fat cells fill with water and refuse to deflate, or sometimes you have some type of water retention from too much sodium/carbs/both the day before. Sometimes the water is in your muscles because you overdid or started a new workout routine. And sometimes it's just because you haven't pooped in a while. WHO KNOWS. But it's not linear and I get sad when my line doesn't look like I want it to.

TL;DR - I have weird hangups about weight, food, and the scale, too.

On a similar track... I had a dream last night about going to a birthday party, having a piece of cake, and not knowing how to measure or log it, because I just took one bite. You know when you're *dreaming* about weighing/measuring/logging your calories, you're a bit obsessed! (Of course, I also dreamed that I was a secretary named Paula and Neal Caffrey was secretly in love with me... I don't even know.)

SunnyMac
07-09-2014, 02:32 PM
Hi All
I like this discussion. After my regain I've been hovering really within a 10lb range (the 240s) but my highest ever was somewhere around 260 - 265...honestly that was years ago so I just stuck with 250 as my starting weight this time since it's the most recent highest that I have a real record of. My first mini goal is really to break through that barrier and get below 240 because then I will be out of my 'regain rut' in my mind. I don't know what it is about seeing a '3' instead of a '4' but mentally I feel like my recommitting will feel more real once I get there. I think I can also be my own worst enemy as far as self cruelty so I just try to not be a jerk to myself and stay as positive as possible. I'm going to have good days and bad days and that just is the way it is. Doesn't make it any easier though.

I'm just trucking along this week and so far I've been doing ok. In general I feel much better than I was earlier this week after being off plan. I've been doing really good with food and avoiding extra stuff and bad stuff and I had good workouts Monday & Tuesday and will see my trainer tomorrow. Unfortunately the bummer is it's hot and I don't like it - and I know I'm in the northeast so my 'hot' is probably laughable in comparison to some of you in the south....but really I deal with anything above 75* ( WITHOUT humidity) about as well as someone from southern Alabama is going to feel about New England in the dead of February. I'm just a cold weather gal that will take snow over summer any day I guess. Anyway weather rant aside it's really putting a damper on my mood. There is no chance in a million years I am going outside to go for a walk, I'm feeling lazy and sluggish and my commuter trains are running with 'heat restrictions' so my already awful 3 hour round trip daily commute is now more like 4-4.5 hours round trip and it's taking me forever to get home so that is taking a toll this week. I also get this awful join pain in this weather in my hips so it's just overall craptastic. I think there is a cold front that is supposed to come through and make it a little more comfortable this evening so I've got my fingers crossed.

For now I'm trying to not let it get me too down and get through the week and stay the course!!!! I'm going to do a weigh in on Sunday so I'm fingers crossed I'm doing enough work this week to get back down to where I was before my crazy off plan week!

LaurieDawn
07-09-2014, 02:42 PM
This is such a good thread for me. I started therapy last week for different issues, but food and my food issues just keep popping up. It's all a related muddle of muck in my brain, I suppose, but it amazes me how much thought and energy food and food-related stuff take up. It's nice to know that others are dealing with it successfully.

I am getting a scale today. Going to start weighing on a daily basis. And I am back into a routine and feeling good. Had a great work-out yesterday that has made me sore, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. Today will be a running day. Woot!

Mandy - I love your frequent posts and your great stories. Had to Google Neal Caffrey, but not complaining. He's a beautiful, beautiful man.

Diane - I love your updates about your commitment to your work-out program. You are rocking this. And totally agree. One of these days, I'd like to be excited about eating when I'm hungry, not worried about it when I'm not, and to feel comfortably full rather than overfull or very hungry. One of these days.

Uber - Sometimes, you gotta eat. And you kept your calories in a very reasonable range. I, too, have scale/mind issues, but you know what? It sounds like the "fewer calories right before weigh-in" thing you do, while not practical, may actually be beneficial? I long ago decided that I am not going to do this in the smartest, most practical way because if I was smart and practical about food, I would have figured this out long ago. So, I mostly strive for beneficial strategies, even if they seem (or are) ridiculous.

Martini - What an interesting, provocative discussion you initiated. Glad to have you with the group. And I love that you are interested in crafting a story that will help you succeed. I find myself doing that all of the time. So many ways to perceive things, none of them accurate. Why not choose the way to perceive it that will help move you forward? For me, for whatever reason, I feel much better about how I look when I'm on plan and exercising. The story I tell myself is that, "I may be fat because of circumstances and decisions in my past, but I am taking care of myself right now, and I am making good decisions for my future. Isn't it amazing that I can run for three minutes now? Not many women can pull the weight I pull in the gym. Etc."

LotusMama - I am struggling with scale issues too. I have lost weight in the past by weighing every single day. I have also really been hampered in weight loss by weighing every single day, and been successful when I just put the scale away. It makes me crazy when people say that losing weight is the simple formula of calories in versus calories out. No, it's not! The mental thing is the hardest part of this, and one answer does not fit all, nor does an answer from yesterday always translate into an answer for today.

And I feel like I'm rambling again! Because I feel such a kinship for my fellow travelers on this odd, frustrating, sometimes exhilerating journey.

FeraFilia
07-09-2014, 03:09 PM
Totally off topic, but for those not aware Neal Caffrey is the character played by Matt Bomer in White Collar. He also had a role in Magic Mike (which I have not seen!). There is a running joke in my family. A few years ago, for some reason, my wardrobe changed from vibrant and colorful choices to all black/white/gray/navy choices. My family believes I went into mourning when I found out Matt Bomer is gay. :P (Funny that my brain went to "Neal" who is a straight character, rather than Matt, who is gay...)

And here's a promo picture from his show.

http://i57.tinypic.com/ehf5t0.jpg

Slashnl
07-09-2014, 06:15 PM
Just a quick post. Someone had me watch a video that is simply amazing. Ever want to give up?? Watch this first...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

martini
07-09-2014, 07:51 PM
I know that whole business of not eating before weighing in and being upset with myself if I have 1400 calories for the day instead of 1200. What Diane and others have said about that singular focus on food and eating really resonates. For me that means my bigger challenge is not staying on plan but shifting my attention away from food and on to living my life. I'm beginning day 4 of being on plan and find it's much harder to focus on my head and my work rather than food. I know how to feel bad about being fat. I know how to create a lot of tension around what I'm eating. I'm not as good at sitting with the insecurity that comes from not knowing if I'll have a job this time next year and then responding in an appropriate, proactive way (for example).

I decided to start fresh with my weight. My high weight will always be 343, but my official starting weight is 293. Those 50lb lost were awesome in a million ways, but they're the success of a woman I no longer am. I've really changed and grown in the past two years and I don't want to mentally hang on to those old successes and failures. I don't want old patterns of thought to get in the way of what might come in its place. Even when the old thinking worked, there still might be another way of thinking that reflects who I am even better.

ubergirl
07-09-2014, 11:59 PM
Fera: Hmm. How did I miss Neal Caffrey!:D

Laurie: I am well acquainted with that related muddle of muck in my brain.

Martini: Interesting thoughts to ponder in your post. This statement really caught my attention. I know how to feel bad about being fat. I know how to create a lot of tension around what I'm eating. I'm not as good at sitting with the insecurity that comes from not knowing if I'll have a job this time next year and then responding in an appropriate, proactive way (for example).


I found this thought very interesting. There was a very specific reason that I lost the weight the first time around. It was also a very HAPPY time in my life. I had just achieved something huge-- a lifelong dream. I felt fantastic about my life situation and losing weight just seemed to fit with my new self image. Fortunately, even though I regained most of the weight, I maintained my positive self-image. I was able to look at my new "fat" pictures and not hate myself, because what I saw was a happy, confident, well-groomed woman. Not a woman who would never achieve any of her dreams BECAUSE she was fat. But, the part B of this story is that after the original euphoria of having something really good happen, I had to deal with the aftermath-- high expectations, pressure, etc. And, I wasn't so good with that, and eventually what I thought was "a new lifestyle" turned out to be very easy to abandon in for my "old lifestyle." Basically, when the going got tough, I held out for a while, a long while actually, but then I just caved and went right back to my old eating habits for comfort. I hadn't really found a way to deal with the fact that I eat when I'm unhappy or stressed. I had just taken advantage of a relatively long period of time when I was feeling particularly positive about things. You don't really know if "it's a lifestyle change" or not, until life starts to fall apart on you-- THEN you find out how you are going to respond....

In short-- I think you are onto something.

LotusMama
07-10-2014, 02:18 AM
Lotus Mama: I'm sure it must be discouraging to be at your highest weight ever, but to put it in perspective, I am REALLY looking forward to getting back to what you weigh, because I feel like 230 is the point where I start to look and feel fairly normal. Not trying to get too personal, but since we are the same height, I'm wondering if you have a really small frame? The least I've ever weighed in my whole life was 145, and that was when I was in the Peace Corps, climbed mountains all the time, had intestinal parasites, and barely ate anything. I was SKINNY. I don't have a small frame, but I can't imagine getting anywhere near 130. I know people's bodies are all different, so my comment might be totally off base.

Uber--I really appreciate your perspective.

In terms of my weight loss goal, I recognize that it is on the low end of the weight table for our height and I may revise it as I get closer to that goal. I do have a small frame and, honestly, I want a bit of wiggle room.

LotusMama
07-10-2014, 02:26 AM
Just a quick post. Someone had me watch a video that is simply amazing. Ever want to give up?? Watch this first...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

Slashnl--thanks for posting that. Awesome and so inspiring.

martini
07-10-2014, 07:03 AM
Just a quick post. Someone had me watch a video that is simply amazing. Ever want to give up?? Watch this first...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

Oh my goodness I just watched the video and cried and cried and cried. Thank you so much for sharing it!

LaurieDawn
07-10-2014, 11:48 AM
Diane - I watched the video too. And I cried. And smiled. And fell in love with that man. And I've seen the video before.

Uber - Yeah. I always think if my life gets to a "now I can coast" point, the diet and exercise will be easier to manage. But I've come to recognize that it never will get there. New strategies for new epiphanies, right?

Feeling really good about life right now. Going to do amusement parks and water parks this weekend. Wish I was thinner and in better shape. Glad I am thinner than 40 pounds ago, and in better shape than even two weeks ago. And this is life.

Slashnl
07-10-2014, 12:25 PM
Well, I made it! The scale showed 249.8! Barely in the 240's, but there is a 4! So, I changed my ticker to show it, even though I'm not at my official weigh in day. I just want to see it there. If I can't hold on to it by Monday, I'll change it, but I'm going to try to get it down a little lower so that it will stick. :D I'm so excited! I drove to the gym this morning feeling very happy. Body pump totally kicked my butt, but I felt pretty happy being there. It was humid and too warm in the gym today. We are so used to it being very dry here, it just seemed so sticky today. I should not complain about it because we really don't have it bad here with humidity. But still....

I don't have a lot of time today, so better run. I will say that I'm enjoying what everyone is posting! It's good to delve into the issue a little!

FeraFilia
07-10-2014, 12:51 PM
Diane - I LOVE that video. :) (also, Congrats on 240s!)

I have some physical weirdness going on... I don't remember this from last time! My spare tire has gone from fairly solid to pretty soft and squishy in places. I hope that means good things are happening!

Car is in the shop today, routine stuff... Tire rotation, lube up a squeaky belt. And get a quote on replacing the bad motor mount because it sounds like my car wants to die every time I start it because of the vibration. The shop is only like, 3/4 of a mile away, if that, so I'll walk down with hubby when it's time to pick it up. Also, BONUS: the shop owner gives a little bit of a discount to the seminary students and alumni. :D So, hopefully this won't take a huge chunk out of our bank account. Just want to be sure my 13 year old car can make the trip to Indiana in a few days. :)

Thinking I'm gonna try some salmon tonight, without much seasoning, so I can get the flavor of it and figure out how I want to doctor it up next time. I'm thinking just a little oil, salt, pepper, garlic... and broccoli cheese to go with it.

I hope you all have a fantastic day!

ubergirl
07-10-2014, 01:30 PM
Diane: Hooray! So happy for you! Isn't that a great feeling! And also, I finally watched that video and it was simply AMAZING!!!

LotusMama: I'm sure you'll figure out your goal weight... and 130 might be perfect for you. I don't mean to throw my issues on to you!

Laurie: hooray for feeling positive and for having fun at the amusement/water parks. I agree that I'll always be a work-in-progress. I do not think I'll ever reach a point of "this is it."

As for me, I actually had another day when I forgot to eat. Working and didn't think about lunch until 1:30, then at 5 I was really hungry so I started making dinner-- fed my son and father but I had made a delicious curried bean dish for me and DH. Got on the phone with a couple of people and those beans simmered until 8:30 pm. Funny how I was SO HUNGRY at 5:00 and then managed to completely forget about it for 3 1/2 hours!

Question for you all: do you think about food more when you are losing or when you are gaining? I DEFINITELY think about food A LOT MORE when I'm gaining. Yesterday I had to take a long boring drive to pick up my kid from camp. If I were in gaining mode, I would have been stressing about whether I should or shouldn't try to make a food run at some time during the trip. But now, 6 weeks into not doing that, it's a lot more relaxing. I remember thinking that last time I was losing. My life was actively less stressful because I wasn't constantly thinking about food, wanting to eat, getting something to eat, and sometimes also, covering my tracks about how much I had eaten. So, really, isn't that the exact opposite of what it should be? I mean, if it's less stressful not to eat so much, why do I relieve stress by eating?

FeraFilia
07-10-2014, 01:38 PM
Hmm. Good question.

I think about food more *now* than I did when I was gaining. I think the difference is when I'm gaining, it's a lot of mindless snacking, and now it's a lot of mindful eating, so I'm much more conscious of the food decisions I'm making and not just shoveling things that are available into my face.

LaurieDawn
07-10-2014, 04:26 PM
I think about food all the time, whether losing or gaining. When I am gaining, I am constantly, constantly hungry or overfull. Never anything in between. So, I am always thinking about trying to get the next meal, or how long I have to wait until I am comfortable enough to eat again. And I never just say, "Well, I'm gaining now, so accept it." I'm always trying to do just a little bit better or making little adjustments or justifying in some way. It's miserable.

And when I'm losing, I am always thinking about not eating, or making sure I do eat. And I plan meals or strategies or whatever.

Food is not my friend. I don't know what I can do to change that. I am hoping therapy helps. But I would rather be on the losing end than the gaiing end fo' sure.

martini
07-10-2014, 09:49 PM
Diane - Woo hoo!! 240s!!!

Mandy - I had the soft and squishy, too. It was explained to me that it's loose fat and something to celebrate so... woo hoo!! squishy!!!

Uber - You must live in my head. :)

Me dieting or not dieting doesn't seem to be the decisive factor in whether or not I think about food. I tend to think about food when there are other things in my life that I want to distract myself from, when I'm using food to punish myself (for real or imaginary transgressions or when I think someone else has hurt me and I want to continue to do the job for them), or when I'm using food as a way of soothing myself or relieving anxiety. I'm not thinking about food right now and everything else in my life is just puttering along. Things are good and the little things that do come up here and there are simply life happening.

What I don't know how to prepare for and what I'm more concerned about is what my default option is when things get tough. In the past two years I gained about 25lb after moving and changing jobs. I gained another 25-ish lb after I quit smoking. A lot of stress I was able to deal with without eating, but food was definitely an issue. I never once thought "oh wow this has been a really tough day, let me go work out and then call a friend to relieve some stress." I thought "I would like some greasy noodles for dinner."

What I'm trying to do now is use this peaceful period to strengthen a set of healthy default options. Not thinking about food is part of that, but who knows how well that will work until it's put to the test.

LaurieDawn
07-11-2014, 12:04 AM
Just checking in now because I may not be able to until Monday. Going with the hubby and stepsons camping and to a waterpark this weekend. Very excited, actually. =)

Wanted to relay a quick story. I met with the trainer at my gym today in honor of my 1-year anniversary. I had gained about 8 pounds, including a half-pound of muscle. He was not happy that I didn't feel bad about it and immediately want to sign up for services with him. After some fat-shaming and some stupid things he said, I made a bet with him. We would meet again in two months. If I didn't lose 12 pounds in those two months, I would sign up with him.

And, that, my friends, seems like EXCELLENT motivation to me. I want to shove it in his face so. badly. Feeling bad about myself never helped me to do better at anything, and I have too many important things going on to hate myself.

So, I bought myself a reliable scale tonight (finally),and tomorrow will be my first official weigh-in of my two-month challenge. That trainer boy is going down. Going down.

Slashnl
07-11-2014, 12:07 PM
Hi all. Yay, it is Friday!!! So glad. I went to spin today and they have replaced the normal guy with this younger woman. This class will be changing to the MOI class, which is still a spin class, but using a heart rate monitor to assist in reaching certain levels throughout the class. I'm not happy about it because I really liked the other guy's style. But, maybe he isn't teaching the MOI classes. Anyway, it isn't that I don't like the MOI class, but I'll be doing it on Saturdays too. I don't really want to do that class two days in a row. Since I've been thinking about adding "Body Flow" to my workouts, I am going to replace the Friday Spin with Body Flow. Body Flow is a yoga/pilates/tai chi class. I have done it before, but that was about 5 years ago. I've been hesitating going back to it because it is not something I'm good at and I think it is hard. But I also know that my flexibility and strength could be so much better than it is now, I have to give it a try. It doesn't give you as much of a calorie burn, but I think it will aid in my objective of getting fit and keeping mobile. It is probably time to shake something up anyway! Looking forward to it.

LaurieDawn: Oh, you have to crush trainer boy!!! This is a great motivator!! He needs to be taken down! Any support you need in this venture, let us know. We're here for you!

Martini: It is tough to keep on track when troubles arise. It definitely is something to think about. With a regain, there are so many times that there is something that happened that totally blindsides you and before you know it, you've gained. I know it was like that for me, too. The key is to keep your head on straight while going through the hard times, but I'm not sure how to make sure that happens. Still a struggle!

Uber: Yeah, I'm like LaurieDawn when it comes to food. I think about it all the time. Now, I constantly think about calorie count. I'm going out to lunch with my kids today and I've been mulling it over to try to figure out what would be a good choice. When I'm not on track, and gaining, I struggle with constantly wanting to snack. Thinking about treats that I just have to eat. Ugh. I don't think it will ever change for me. I'll always have to be mindful.

Mandy: I definitely can relate to squishy fat. Now, what I've heard is when it gets to that point, you're about to experience a whoosh! I hope that's the case for you!!!

ubergirl
07-11-2014, 12:31 PM
Laurie: Awesome motivation! I would want to smack him in the face as well as SHOW HIM!

Fera: Guess what I made for dinner last night? Tilapia with FF sour cream and park. It turned out great! I got really sick of Tilapia, and that recipe jazzed it right up. Interesting that you think more about food when you're losing while I think about it more when I'm overeating.

Martini: We are obviously very similar and you have defined my issue precisely. I can eat healthy and figure out a plan and follow it, for long periods of time actually-- until suddenly I can't do it at all. And the process seems almost magical. I KNOW that managing stress is the biggest component, and after living through the year 2012, I came to realize that for me the is BIGGER than just learning to knit, or drink a cup of tea, or replace healthy habits with bad ones. It has to do with the fact, I think, that I have a tendency to bite off WAY more than I can chew in my life. (not including food, LOL). I'm pretty sure that it's a deeper issue and that I need to figure out how to set better boundaries between what I think I should be able to do and what I'm actually able to do. I have never done therapy except for a few brief aborted attempts, but I have a feeling it would be a good idea.

Laurie: Woo-Hoo!!!!!! You will show him! That will be sweet revenge! I hate the way professionals often assume that we are literally incapable of losing weight without help.

As for me. First, I hit a pseudo-mini goal yesterday. All year I was weighing on an old analog scale that wasn't very reliable. When I first weighed in my top weight was 280 which was 20Lbs over what I weighed at the beginning of the year.(Sept 2013). So, my first mini-goal was to get back to 260. Yesterday I dragged the old scale out of the closet, and per the old scale I weigh 260. I know that really I'm still 265, but I have lost all of the weight gain since September.... woo-boo!
Second: Crazy weigh in story this am. Woke up at 6 am thirsty and got a huge glass of water then went back to bed. Woke up an hour later and suddenly thought OH NO! I drank water BEFORE my weigh-in. Stepped on the scale, weight exactly the same as yesterday. Of course, I'm going to spend the whole day wondering if I wouldn't have weighed .5 less if I hadn't drunk the water. :-)
The stuff we worry about!

Diane: I think we posted at the same time. Really, don't get me wrong. I think about food quite a lot either way, losing or gaining. When I'm losing, I have to plan, and I do worry about situations where I know that I'm not in total control of preparing the food-- like meals out and social events. But when I absolutely know firmly in my mind that I'm only going to eat 3 meals a day and nothing in between. I actually do completely forget about eating sometimes, whereas, when I'm not losing it seems like every minute is a possibility to eat. I remember when I used to work in an office, when I was losing, I could simply tune out the treats in the break room, whereas when I was not trying to lose, I could hardly take my mind off them and was always thinking about getting a moment to sneak in and take a few bites.

Hope ya'll have a good day.

FeraFilia
07-11-2014, 01:09 PM
Martini - Moving and changing jobs was the biggest trigger for my regain! HATE upheaval in my life, because I stop thinking about *what* I'm eating, and just eat what's easy and available. Which usually comes hot and greasy in a paper sack. The fact that I eat for comfort is what causes my biggest gains... but I'm never actively thinking about eating, it's almost a reflex... Which is why I think about it *more* now, because I have to actively curb that reflex reaction to go to the kitchen when I'm bored or upset.

Laurie - you will WIN that bet and he will eat his words. But that makes me wonder, what do you get from him if you win? You should try to get a free session :P

Diane - I love hearing about all of your various classes. Makes me wish I could afford a membership to a gym that offers them. :) (well, that, and makes me wish I wasn't so self conscious that I'd probably never attend them...) Also, I've been whooshing all week! :D

Uber: I'm so glad you liked the tilapia recipe! It's one I came up with when I was craving parmesan crusted tilapia but didn't want to do all the stuff involved in actually making it... So, that's where I got the idea. Congrats on your 'pseudo mini goal'... guess it won't be too much longer until you hit it for real! :D

Well. Talking of weighing in means I should probably go do that since it's Friday, since I haven't had any food or drink yet and actually forgot about it. (Forgot it was Friay, anyway).

Might be going to a cook out with the hubby and some friends on campus tonight, if so, it'll basically be a fast until dinner type day. We'll see. I want to make something sweet, but I don't want to keep it in the house. Specifically, these: http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/cookie-dough-truffles

Once I know what's going on for dinner, I'll figure out what I'm doing for the rest of the day!

Hope y'all have a wonderful Friday!

Edited to add, for the humor.

I posted this status on MFP last night before bed:

Oy. "Loose" instead of "lose" makes me cringe EVERY time. It's almost as bad as "your" vs "you're"... "two," "too," and "to"... "there," "their," and "they're" and also... "affect" and "effect." I may be a bit of a grammar ****. Those all drive me bonkers.

And the *first* comment I got from one of my 'friends' there was this:

U may have too much time on your hands. That's really small stuff. What do you do when the big things in life aren't spelled out according to your liking? Please don't be so quick to judge people.

I probably should have left it alone, but the hypocrisy and lack of self awareness had me throw this in as a response:

You took the time to comment, do you have too much time on your hands? Did I say it was big stuff? Pretty sure I said it was a pet peeve more than anything. It's the internet, spelling and grammar mistakes happen. As someone who has been online for more than 5 minutes, I'm very aware of that. Also, it's not a "spelling" issue, it's a "grammar" issue. Also, who is the one being judgmental here? You're the one that jumped on my status to be a Negative Nancy, when nowhere in my status did I single anyone out, nor did I say *anything* insulting. I pointed out common mistakes, and said they make ME cringe and they drive ME bonkers. Self awareness, love. Self awareness.

I think I may have lost an MFP friend. :P

ubergirl
07-11-2014, 01:34 PM
Fera: Greetings from a fellow grammar nut! As an author, it comes naturally to me. Loose and lose is one of the ones that particularly makes me crazy. I also can't stand when people mistake affect and effect. As an author, I can tell you that most readers do care A LOT about that stuff. Copyeditors pore over manuscripts before they go to print because a single mistake will generate tons of negative mail! :-) I think people don't realize that if you KNOW the difference between loose and lose then seeing the wrong one is actually confusing.

FeraFilia
07-11-2014, 02:26 PM
It is confusing! The one that usually trips me up when I'm reading is the your/you're mistake. It takes me a second to figure out that it doesn't make sense because the person used the wrong word.

ubergirl
07-11-2014, 02:47 PM
It is confusing! The one that usually trips me up when I'm reading is the your/you're mistake. It takes me a second to figure out that it doesn't make sense because the person used the wrong word.

Ha! Funny, because that one I make myself-- even though I know the difference. When I get typing fast I sometimes miss it! Grammar nuts unite!

FeraFilia
07-11-2014, 02:57 PM
http://i58.tinypic.com/2r383fk.jpg

Also, weigh in was 304.0, so a pound since Tuesday, and 3.2 since last Friday.

Today is 2 months back to it for me, and I've lost 26.6 pounds. :woohoo:

ubergirl
07-11-2014, 03:15 PM
Fera: for the commas --:) and regarding two months and 26 lbs? :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::c arrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

FeraFilia
07-11-2014, 07:44 PM
I made a treat for my husband. That treat I said I was gong to make for the cook out that didn't happen.

Now these are sitting in the fridge staring me in the face.

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/5138b9df-779a-40ef-8bd2-91f8333cc6d5_zpsae1bb859.jpg

Serious test of will power here.

LotusMama
07-11-2014, 10:46 PM
Uber--congrats on reaching your mini-goal!

Mandy--great work on your weight loss this week as well.

Laurie--I really like your attitude and think that the challenge is the perfect way to motivate yourself. I will be pulling for you!

I am going out of town for a long weekend. While I am looking forward to it, eating out three times a day will be a challenge.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

FeraFilia
07-12-2014, 12:53 AM
Just found this site, and it's pretty nifty.

http://www.weightgrapher.com/

It charts your weight for you, gives you your trend, and a prediction for one month if you continue on the same trend. I like it. Great for people who weigh frequently.

ubergirl
07-12-2014, 11:46 AM
Mandy: I like the weight grapher! It's so funny but I'm on exactly the same weight loss trajectory that I was on back in 2009. I started trying to lose in June, of course, at that time, I was 295. I'm losing at just about exactly the same speed I was back then.

Lotus Mama: Enjoy your weekend off! Eating out is hard, but getting away and having fun is worth it!

Happy to report that I'm down another pound for a total of 21. My first mini-goal is to hit 260 and I have been hoping to do so before vacation which is still about 3 weeks away. I regained in two chunks: chunk A from 190 to 259. chunk B: up and down and up and down but never below 260. Once I get to 258, that will be a beautiful feeling.

FeraFilia
07-12-2014, 02:12 PM
Uber - my favorite thing about it is as long as your dots stay below the line, you're losing weight. It gives you a "trend" weight below which you can bounce around a bit, but I'm assuming if you go above it, that will change the trend somehow. I also like the "in one month" trend prediction. I'm averaging about 3 pounds below the trend line, and my one month prediction is about 10 pounds below my current trend weight, so I think I'm on the right path here. Lose quickly while I've still got a LOT to lose and still can lose quickly, and slow it down as I get closer to goal. :) Hurray for getting so close to a mini goal! My first one is about 5 pounds away, too. :)

Lotus - I hope you enjoy your long weekend! Hubby and I will be leaving on Monday and be back Wednesday evening. Hopefully he'll take his laptop and let me borrow it like last time. :) (And that the hotel actually has wifi, we might be staying in a small town mom and pop hotel, wifi isn't necessarily guaranteed! Depends on where the church books the reservation for us.

So, I have some good news, some annoying news, and some bad news... None of which are super life altering, but still.

The good news is... My cats are finally getting along again after Brownie had her surgery. Last night I caught them snuggling in a chair together, and today I caught them grooming each other. I think that the hissing and posturing is done, and I can safely leave with hubby on Monday!

The annoying news is apparently something in nature is still horny and my sinuses don't like the tree/plant sex because my allergies are acting up and my sinuses are very unhappy. Probably grass, I'm most sensitive to grass pollen, though oak pollen gets me a little bit, too.

The bad news is my car is in the shop. Hubby took it in for a tire rotation (which was gonna cost all of $10!) and they found that both of the torque bearing motor mounts are broken and need replaced. Luckily they found a parts place that has the replacements available, because it's hard to find for my car since they aren't made anymore and it's 13 years old. So, that'll be $350 (which is really good for a car repair, usually I don't walk out of a mechanic for less than $500!) and I have to remind myself that maintenance and a couple repairs here and there are still cheaper than a new car's monthly payments and jacked up insurance rates! So, when we go to pick up the car, we'll walk over to get it since it's about a half a mile away.

Just for fun, here's the chart I got on www.weightgrapher.com (the blue dots are their predicted weight for that day because I didn't record one, and the pink dots are weights I did record. the blue line connecting them is the trend, and the one above it shows my weight 4 weeks ago, and that trend).

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/chart_zps9716081c.jpeg

FeraFilia
07-12-2014, 09:54 PM
Hey guys, found this on one of my favorite food blogs and thought I'd share!

http://www.shugarysweets.com/2014/01/skinny-dinner-snack-ideas

It's links to 50 different healthy/lower calorie recipes on different blogs, and there are probably even more yummy ideas on the linked blogs. Enjoy! :) I'm already eyeballing the chicken with feta sauce.

martini
07-12-2014, 11:46 PM
I'm so happy to hear how well everyone is doing! :goodvibes

LaurieDawn - **** fatshaming trainer. That is not cool. Fatshaming's also been shown in studies to be incredibly ineffective as a motivating tool.

Is he getting paid when you make the appointment to see him again in two months? If so, you might consider that in how you respond. You can make an appointment to see him again - which, in my eyes, is pretty much saying that he is important enough for you to actually respond to - or... You can lose weight and make an appointment with another trainer at the same time that the fatshaming trainer is there. Go up to him quickly and say something along the lines of "I've met my goal but your lack of professionalism and knowledge is so offensive that I've decided to work with another trainer."

In other words, take the Pretty Woman "do you work on commission?"-scene and apply it to that idiot trainer.

Diane - My muscles are hurting just reading about all of those classes! :)

‹ber - CongratŁlations!!! 21lb is so, so, so awesome!!!

Mandy - I love the Oxford comma picture! That and the idea of "plant sex" has had me chuckling all morning. I'm sorry to hear that your car is in the shop, but it's wonderful that you're dealing with it by dealing with it and not by eating.

I'm coming up on the end of my first full week 100% on plan. What is making that little milestone more interesting is that I don't have a scale. I'm away from home until mid-August and have a cobbled together living arrangement. It's good and it's functional, but it doesn't have all the little odds and ends - like a scale - that one has at home. I got my start weight from a dermatologist's office scale last Saturday and, since then, I've been blind in terms of weight loss.

What I really like about not weighing myself is that I'm forced to look at how I eat as "this is just how it is" and not as something I'm doing to achieve a specific goal. That's really cool and I can see it eventually being useful for maintenance. In the morning I write down what I'm going to eat for the day and then forget about food unless I'm actually eating. I like that sense of freedom.

What is a little bit more frustrating is that seeing the numbers go down is a really useful motivator. The first time around with weight loss I worked with decades and going from the 290s to 280s and so on kept me motivated for months.

I wish I had good scale news to share with all of you, but maybe it's better for me to stay in the dark a little bit longer. Another five weeks of practicing life with a different relationship to food can't do me any harm!

Slashnl
07-13-2014, 10:54 AM
Hi All! I've still been attached to my scale every day now. I have always thought that it was a bad idea to do that, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I was wrong about that. Without jinxing myself for my official weigh in tomorrow, I was at 147.6 this morning. That's down about 4.2 from last Monday. Now.... I had gone up as of last Monday, so I am not concerned about a big loss. I really feel like my body is releasing a lot of fluids that I had retained as of last week. But, I feel like I might be more mindful of what I'm eating when I weigh every day or every other day. It is making me a little obsessive, but I'm ok with being obsessive for a while. I've wanted to make a big effort to get this weight off, so that I can live a little more normally. I don't know, weighing daily just goes against everything I've ever thought about weight loss. :) But, I've struggled so much in the past, maybe a change in thought is good. :dizzy:

Martini: So, you're having to do exactly the opposite of my obsessiveness. I think that's good, though. If you still keep on track and keep your focus, then hopefully you'll have a nice surprise when you do get back to the scale.

Mandy: Good news about the cats! Bad news about the car. I just hate dealing with car issues. It seems like they always find more than what you originally went in for. I'm sure it is legit, but it is frustrating!!!

Uber: 21 pounds is so great! I hope you see 258 soon. I know that once you break through a barrier, it is just such a good feeling. I've reached through a couple of barriers, and it is so great, but so strange. I keep thinking "Ok, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and it won't be happening." And sometimes I feel like it will suddenly stop and I'll head back up the scale. But, I think that staying connected here and just taking it day by day is helping.

Lotus: Hope you had a great time being out of town! So good to get some new scenery!

ubergirl
07-13-2014, 02:31 PM
Diane: 4.2 Wowsers! Time for some carrots.:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:
Maybe being scale obsessed isn't so bad. I know when I'm NOT scale obsessed... when I'm squeezing my eyes shut and gaining! I SO get what you mean about expecting the scale to just reverse itself and start going up... I have that exact same fear-- or I start to fear that my body will simply REFUSE to go lower than a certain point no matter how little I feed it.

Martini: On the other hand, when you think about it, we are not so much trying to lose weight as we are trying to adopt a livable healthy lifestyle which will lead to weight loss. So maybe staying on track without a scale will be an interesting lesson in tuning into yourself.

Mandy: I love that recipe site, although he sugary dessert pictures almost threw me off. I want to try the carrot hummus. I loved cooked carrots, and I love hummus. What's not to love? I don't know how you managed those chocolate chip cookie dough truffles... total self-restraint!

Totally weird day for me yesterday. Was running around with my kid between 11:30 am and 4 pm so I never got a chance to eat and also forgot about it. That must be how life is for normal people. Ate a healthy dinner and was rewarded with another 2 lbs gone! So, the good news is that my BMI is officially now below 40, which means I'm no longer excessively obese, but only obese. The bad news is that I'm now officially at the bottom of my yo-yo zone. For the past two years I've never gotten below 260. This time, I'm determined.

FeraFilia
07-13-2014, 03:27 PM
Cookie dough truffle report: So far, I've managed to eat only 2 of them. 1 yesterday, and one the day before after I made them (cook deserves to sample her work, right?). I gave several of them away, and my husband has eaten like 8 of them. He LOVES them. I'm thinking we'll take the rest up to Indiana with us as something to bring with to contribute to the potluck. (Yeah, they are doing a potluck dinner for us right before they do his interview... Oy, calories)

Martini - This going scaleless is a good time to rely on measurements, how your clothes fit, how you feel, progress pictures, etc! More than one way to see your progress, the scale is only one way. I'm sure you'll do great!

Diane - they were good, and didn't do/check anything we didn't ask them to check. The thing they are replacing was a part that I already knew was probably going to need replaced. One side of it has been broken for over a year now, and the other side broke a couple weeks ago. It needed to be fixed before lots of travel. And I totally hear you on the daily weighing! When the weight is going down, it's very motivating, but when it's barely moving it can be SO frustrating!

Uber - That blog is mostly dessert and sweet treats, but she does have several regular meals, and healthy eats. It's where I go when I need to make a dessert for a gathering. Awesome that you've hit the bottom of your yo-yo zone, but make sure you're eating enough! Don't fall into the "I want to lose FAST so eating is BAD" state of mind. I've been there, it ends in binges heh. I have to tell myself pretty regularly that food is not evil, that it's fuel my body needs to function.

Speaking of food being fuel... My tummy is rumbling, so I'm gonna go grab a late lunch. :)

Have a great day y'all! :)

ubergirl
07-13-2014, 04:05 PM
Awesome that you've hit the bottom of your yo-yo zone, but make sure you're eating enough! Don't fall into the "I want to lose FAST so eating is BAD" state of mind. I've been there, it ends in binges heh. I have to tell myself pretty regularly that food is not evil, that it's fuel my body needs to function.

I will bear in mind that food isn't evil-- I can easily fall into that trap. When I lost 110 lbs, I had to fight for every single pound that pushed me under a BMI of 30, and I definitely was struggling with the temptation to push my calories too low just to see the scale move. Right now, the weight is coming off okay, so I've pretty much been meeting my calorie goals-- skipping lunch yesterday was an accident, but next time I'm stuck, the devil on my shoulder might whisper "remember that day you skipped lunch and lost 2 lbs... why don't you do that again...?"

FeraFilia
07-13-2014, 05:58 PM
Uber - I'm so glad you didn't take that in a negative way. I was hesitant to post something about it, but I'm so familiar with the feeling! Maybe I'm just too used to people biting my head off or some other psychobabble. :)

ubergirl
07-14-2014, 12:11 AM
Uber - I'm so glad you didn't take that in a negative way. I was hesitant to post something about it, but I'm so familiar with the feeling! Maybe I'm just too used to people biting my head off or some other psychobabble. :)

Believe me, you guys understand me perfectly! Sisters in crazy food heads! :D

martini
07-14-2014, 12:39 AM
Hang in there, uber! Only a few pounds left before 260 and I know you can do it!!

garnetrising
07-14-2014, 02:53 AM
Greetings, everyone.

I'm Jessica. I've been in the process of getting myself back to living the healthy lifestyle I prefer and, of course, losing the weight that I put on during the six years I was married. One of the things I miss is having the ability to talk to other people who are on the same journey as you and really being able to share in that moral support. I'm hoping I might be able to find some of that comradery here.

martini
07-14-2014, 08:02 AM
Hey, Jessica! Welcome! Congratulations on those 30lb that you've already lost!!

love exclamation points!!]

FeraFilia
07-14-2014, 11:21 AM
Hi Jessica! (Interesting typo, when I typed out your name, I typed "Jessi can" space and everything, take it as you will) :welcome:

Also, I just want to say how awesome you guys are and that I love how active and supportive this little group is. :D

Btw, traveling these next few days (I'll be home Wednesday night). Tuesday I'm designating as a "cheat" day, a "free" day, whatever you want to call it... because potlucks are such a crap shoot, so I won't be logging on Tuesday. Monday and Wednesday we'll be on the road all day, and I've decided to limit our fast food stops to sub shops and Arby's. :)

SunnyMac
07-14-2014, 11:29 AM
Welcome Jessica and Happy Monday to all!!!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I had a rough start to my morning....overslept, discovered I have poison ivy, flipped an entire bottle of calamine lotion all over my bathroom and I'm heading into TOM for the end of the week.... regardless of that and the oppressive heat and humidity I'm feeling great. I'm not letting the rough starts get me down anymore because honestly this is my life... it's messy and hectic and I need to learn to roll with it in a more positive way! I've got an awesome salad for lunch, I'm going to make up my missed early morning workout this afternoon and make the rest of the day an awesome monday.

I've got some great projects that I've finally started working on which is all really focused on healthy food, eating and exercise and I think that is totally helping me boost my mood and drive. I am am really into gardening and homesteading and cooking from scratch (despite my work days being spent in a major city in commercial entertainment) and last year we bought a house in the middle of the state with a huge yard with garden visions and earlier this year we tore down a big above ground pool and I've been staring at this empty sand pit for about 2 months. I finally had some time to start getting to work on the area which I am going to be turning into a massive garden. Needless to say that sand shoveling has become my summer version of snow shoveling trying to clear it all! It is hard heavy labor but great exercise! I'm also starting to get my recipes all in order and start using them.... I have a ton of digitally saved recipes that I never use now that they are trapped in my computer....it's a nice idea cooking from an ipad but the reality is more like a sauce smear on a $600 piece of technology because my screen goes to sleep before I can get to the next measurment. I've also got stacks of cooking light magazines waiting for me to cut out and organize my favorites.

All and all it feels good to finally have some time to work on these projects that have been piling up and stressing me out and I love that they are helping me focus on healthy eating and exercise in a way that is enjoyable for me and not just obsessive calorie counting during the daily grind!

Slashnl
07-14-2014, 12:10 PM
Hi all. Well, good weigh in today. Not quite as good as I expected, but that's ok. Not that far off either. I'll just keep up with scale obsession for awhile. I'm pretty happy with where I am right now, overall. I would love for the weight to just fall off in one big lump, but I know that it won't happen like that. Just need to keep taking it one day at a time.

Kind of in a flux right now with my workouts. I have to make a decision on the Friday class. I found out my favorite spin instructor will be teaching the MOI spin classes on Friday. I thought he wasn't, so I was going to make a change to BodyFlow. They do have a BodyFlow class on Saturday, right after the other MOI spin class. I don't know if I want to do both, or just one or the other. I'm overthinking it. But, that's what I do. :)

Uber: That is so great about your weight loss! You are so close to breaking through that 260 barrier. I know you can do it and then you'll start that downward trend on the scale!!

SunnyMac: Wow, that's quite a project with putting in the garden. I think that's great! Shoveling sand isn't a fun thing, but once you can start rebuilding it, that will be awesome!

Jessica: Welcome! This is a great group of supporters so I think you'll enjoy being a part of it all!

Mandy: Hope you have a great trip! I think you should enjoy that potluck. Nothing better than a good church people potluck!!!

Have a great week everyone!

LaurieDawn
07-14-2014, 12:46 PM
So much support! So much activity.

Mandy - I will be rooting for you and your husband as you go into this next stage of the interview process. Hope you love the community as much as I am sure they will love you, and that you settle into a routine that will support your life goals as well as your weight goals (which are pretty inextricably tied together, at least in my world).

SunnyMac - I love when the things that I want to do coincide with the things I need to do. Would love to see pics of the garden progress. What a great goal and great motivator.

Jessica - So great to have you here! This is a welcoming and wonderful space for support. I can't wait to get to know you better and to cheer you on as your progress.

Martini - I so relate to the love/hate with the scale. I actually have done periods and achieved good success with not-weighing periods. The theory behind it is that I know if I am on plan, I will have success over time. The scale messes with my mind and can motivate me to either go super low on calories or want to give up and go super high on calories. I think these times have been very good for me.

Uber - It's so refreshing when food does not define our days. I hope that life is so good that you forget to eat more often. =) And, I know it's controversial, but I am not a believer in a calorie floor. Weight loss surgery is so effective for so many people, and most people right after the surgery are only ingesting 400-600 calories. That's a decent sized sandwich for most people. I am not an advocate of 500 calorie diets (largely because I don't like to watch my food intake closely enough to avoid malnutrition), but I don't think there's any harm in busy days that wind up super low cal.

LotusMama - Hope the out of town weekend was a success! Even if you went off plan (and who doesn't from time to time?), I hope you had a good time and learned some stuff. And thanks for the words of support on trainer boy.

And Diane - You are a paragon of consistency and hard work. I love reading about your exercise exploits. And I get the whole scale obsession. The first time I lost about 100 pounds, I became obsessed with the scale, and had to challenge myself to weigh only once a day. It was a great tool, but the second time I lost a significant amount of weight (about 80 pounds two years ago, 40 of which are still gone!), I made specific goals to avoid the scale. It's total love/hate with me. But I did just buy a scale last Thursday, and plan to make it a part of my daily routine for now.

Had an interesting weekend. I went camping for the weekend with the husband and the stepsons. We also went to the amusement park. For the most part, it was really fun.

And the food thing was a nightmare. I resolved to eat as "normally" as possible, but I couldn't eat everything they were eating every time they ate, so I resolved to eat one big meal with them and eat a token amount at other meals. But he fed them dinner at 11 p.m. Twice. Okay. Deep breath. By 11 p.m., if I haven't eaten dinner, I would rather just skip it. Yesterday, I had saved calories so I could have a "normal" dinner, so I was very low on calories that day. And at 11 p.m. last night when we stopped at McDonald's, I just decided to skip it. The younger one said, "I don't know how you can make it when you didn't eat breakfast or lunch or dinner." When I reminded him that I had eaten lunch with them (no one ate breakfast), he said, "Yeah, but you didn't eat very much." Sigh. So much for "normal" and wanting to avoid an 8yo discerning my food issues. It would have been different if I had actually wanted to eat with them (or realized the younger one was noticing something askew). But 11 p.m. McDonald's just did not sound even slightly appealing. Ongoing issue.

On the bright side, trainer boy was in my mind this weekend when I debated whether I should just chuck my goals and eat everything in sight. (I think everyone should do this sometimes, but I had a reckless weekend just last weekend, and I really struggle to get back on plan.) I had an active, relatively low-cal weekend that nonetheless included s'mores. I also decided to forgo the scale this morning. I didn't sleep until 2:30, and a low-sleep, sore-muscles morning can easily translate into an artificially high scale number, and I decided my tired mind did not need to be subjected to the "This number doesn't represent real gain. It's not impossible to lose weight." internal discussion this morning.

And, to add to an excessively long post, the thing that trainer boy said that I didn't post, but that kept popping into my mind this weekend. "You were coming to the gym for a while, and I said to myself, 'Laurie's looking good.', then you stopped coming, and look what happened." You know what, trainer boy? I have never and will never do this with the hope of looking good to you. More importantly, fat people are every bit as beautiful as thin people. Go spew your fatphobia elsewhere, please.

ubergirl
07-14-2014, 01:09 PM
Jessica: Welcome! If you are looking for an active and supportive little group, this is the place! I find it so much easier to do this with support (as you can see from my FREQUENT posts, lol).

Sunny: Hooray for gardening! I've never had a garden before, but right now, I'm living in SoCal and there was this huge garden all ready to be planted. I have to admit that I spend most of my time sitting on my butt on the couch writing while my DH does most of the heavy work, but for the last few days, I've been able to fill half of our plates with food from the garden, and it is SUCH a great feeling!!! You are so right that there has to be some joy in all of this. It can't all be about SLOGGING.

Mandy: Have a great trip! My potluck strategy is to take whatever I want, but only fill up the plate once. No matter how yummy, you just can't do much damage with one plateful of food.

Diane: Good luck deciding which spin class to take. Your scale is looking GREAT. So happy for you that you are solidly into the 240s. It does feel like it takes forever... but you are just reaching the point where you are going to start to really get the payoffs for all this work... it seems like it takes forever to drop a size up in the 260s and 270s, but then all of sudden, you just start to look and feel so much littler! You are getting really close to that point.

So, pondering a bit what Mandy said, about food not being evil, I have been thinking about something regarding my own approach. I know there was a point during my last weight loss journey that I started to feel like I was punishing myself. I exercised even when I was tired. I avoided food even when I wanted it, instead of just eating it but trying to work it into my overall calorie count. The problem was that finally I just felt as if I had pushed myself TOO HARD. It felt like punishment instead of health-promoting behavior. I thought I had really figured things out last time-- but in the long run, I really hadn't. Because eventually, the thought occurred to me-- and the thought was "who cares? Do you really want to live like this...?" And I didn't have an answer to that question. I loved being thin(er) and fit. I loved how I looked and how I felt, but when I was completely overwhelmed, tired, stressed, and had way too much on my plate, I just thought to myself for god's sake woman-- eat the french fries already, enough is enough. So, I've got to find some kind of middle ground between "eat whatever you want all the time, hang the consequences..." and "be super careful around food, count every calorie like a nut job, beware one tiny little mistake might send you into a death spiral... etc." There MUST be a better way.

garnetrising
07-14-2014, 04:00 PM
Thank you all so much for the incredibly warm welcome. This was just the sort of little group I was hoping to find again. Some background info... I've fought with my weight all my life. My poor self image can probably be traced directly to my mother telling me I was fat when I was in the 1st grade. I wasn't fat, I was taller and more developed than other girls my age. But when you're that young and someone you trust calls you fat, you believe them. And thus it started. I've lowered my weight to about 210 lbs several times in the last six or seven years. Unfortunately, my fear of being alone lead me to make some poor decisions, like marrying a man I knew didn't really love me. I found that when he wasn't around - he was military - I could lose weight, eat healthy and exercise without a problem. When he'd come home, the combination of his terrible eating habits, my feeling like he was judging me every time I worked out, and the stress that came with being married to a man who started cheating on me months into our marriage and only furthered my depression, anxiety - at one point he literally made me feel like I was going crazy - caused me to balloon. The last two years in particular was the worst. I don't know exactly how much I weighed in at at my heaviest, because we didn't have a working scale, but I know that it was at least 270 lbs.

In January, he dropped me at my father's house for a "visit" and proceeded to ignore me for about two months. Needless to say, I've since filed for divorce. My stress level has greatly diminished and I am finally able to live a lifestyle I enjoy again. Do I want to eat spinach? YES, I do and I can because it doesn't matter that he doesn't like it. He doesn't like Greek yogurt? Who cares! I don't have to make things for you anymore. I can take my dog for long walks. I can do pushups, planks, yoga, without you making snide comments. I've lost nearly 30 lbs since April 21st. I've lost 6.5 inches since July 1st alone. The fact is that I am finally free to be me again and I'm going to take that joy, that freedom and run with it.

Martini: Well, I've still got 0.2 lbs to hit 30 lbs, but I'll still take the praise now. :D

FeraFilia: I'll take that as I can do it. Personally, I don't like to think of things as "cheat" or "free". It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. It's something I firmly believe in and embrace. If you don't allow for the wiggle room for things like potlucks, all you're going to do is end up beating yourself up and feeling guilty. And that doesn't do anyone any good. So good luck with your road trip and potluck! Hope it'll be fun!

SunnyMac: Sauce smears on iPads. Lol. I don't have a lot of experience using them with cooking, but I can imagine that when the screen goes to sleep in the middle of recipe it can be a pain. I think replacing that sand pit with a garden is a fantastic idea! If I wasn't living with someone else, I'd definitely try to have one.

Slashnl: We all have those days where you have to remind yourself to take it one day at a time. I'm glad that you're happy with what you did lose even if it wasn't quite as much as you were hoping for. Sounds to me that with all the workouts you're doing, you're definitely going to be building some nice, lean muscle along the way.

LaurieDawn: You know what? It sounds to me like trainer boy is a real piece of work and you don't need that. I'm not going to a gym. I can't afford it. It doesn't mean that I'm not losing weight and toning up. I've spent my life with people making me feel worse about myself and believing that I'm not as beautiful as the next girl. When you run into someone who shames you, I say mentally punch them in the face and then remind yourself about all of your features that you love about yourself. I'll add this about your 11pm non-desire to eat fast food. I'm with you. In general, if someone mentions grabbing fast food to eat, my default reaction is "ugh". I do eat other things at 11pm, but I don't get home from work until 2am most days, lol.

ubergirl: That is what I think every person on this journey has to learn eventually. I know there are people out there who just cut things out completely - starch, sugar, what have you. That's not something I want to do. Ever. If someone asks me if I'm dieting, my answer will always be no. Dieting is temporary. What I am doing is living a lifestyle that I prefer. I like walking. I like swimming. I like eating healthy. Realistically, I don't enjoy fast food. Every once and a while, maybe. Like a Wendy's Berry Almond Salad maybe. But in general, I don't like it. I will admit that I am a calorie counter. I have to do it, not because I have a tendency to eat too much, but because, when I'm not careful, there will be days I don't even hit 1000 calories and we all know that's not healthy.

martini
07-14-2014, 09:22 PM
Mandy - It sounds like you have a good plan for eating over the next few days and that you're aware of the potential pitfalls with being on the road and the potluck and all that. You can't do anything more than that. :) Good luck with the interviews and have a safe trip!

SunnyMac - You're definitely making lemonade out of lemons, but maybe that's my inner city dweller talking. :)

Diane - Isn't that a pain with how the weight comes off at its own sweet pace? I have a... ahem... long history with being on a diet for a day or two and then looking into the mirror expecting to be 100lb lighter. Part of me still thinks like that, but at least now there's a countering voice in my head that knows better.

LaurieDawn - I know exactly what you're saying with your inner dialogue with that fat shaming **** trainer. When I hear negative comments on my weight from people, I tend to first get angry (&!$%%^#$#$ jerks!!) and then internalize what they said (yes, I am fat and lazy and etc). When I hear positive comments about my weight from people, I tend to get happy (yes, I am awesome!) and then I mentally discount what they said (I'm not as awesome as they think I am).

The only way that I've been able to deal with any of it is just to block everyone out. No exceptions. If someone thinks I'm attractive, fine. If someone thinks I'm ugly, fine. If someone wants to make a fat joke or a fatshaming comment, they're the ones who have to deal with the karmic fallout from peddling in that negativity. I won't engage in any of it and just continue on my merry way. It's hard because there's an element of shutting the world out, but it's still easier than having to try to hit the moving target that is other people's approval.

Uber - When you find that better way, please do let me know.

Jessica - How much did your husband weigh? Theoretically, you can make the argument that you've already lost something like 200lb with the divorce. :lol:

garnetrising
07-14-2014, 10:01 PM
Oh, Martini I have lost about that much from the divorce alone! I try to constantly stay positive and look for the silver lining. When people say something, or give me a look that says what they're thinking, about how I look, I try to remind myself of at least three things I love about myself and the way I look. Usually, it's my eyes, my hair, and my breasts. :) I will say, though, trying to dig yourself out of a hole when you've been abandoned can put a damper on my positive outlook. Like the struggle to find a second job that I'm going through right now. I'm trying desperately to get to a point where I can make the ends maybe, possibly, sort of meet. Needless to say, it's not working out so well.

ubergirl
07-14-2014, 10:23 PM
Jessica - How much did your husband weigh? Theoretically, you can make the argument that you've already lost something like 200lb with the divorce. :lol:

:D

FeraFilia
07-14-2014, 11:58 PM
Just dropping in real quick to let y'all know we made it to our hotel in Indiana!

I was good today! I managed to keep calories to around 1500. We hit Arby's. I got *just* a sandwich (I LOVE the smokehouse brisket sandwich). I skipped fries (and that was hard, Arby's has such good fries!), got ice water, and had a 100 calorie pack of pringles instead. And for my sweet treat after I had a 100 calorie pack of special k brownie bites. Not the most healthy eats, but better than fries, a turnover, and a milkshake.

No logging tomorrow. I might just indulge a bit and enjoy it. I haven't really had a no logging day in several weeks. I'm so iffy though, because I REALLY want to see 299 SOON. It's so close. It's taunting me. We'll see how it shakes out.

I'm taking the rest of my cookie dough truffles to the potluck. Maybe my ability to make yummy sweet treats will bribe them. :)

I'll check back in when I can (maybe tomorrow night?)

Later! :wave:

guacamole
07-15-2014, 08:57 AM
Hello, everyone. I broke my leg last fall and that episode led to me packing on over 20lbs. My scale has been out of batteries for the past few months, and not weighing in has let me pretend that my weight hasn't been creeping up. I finally replaced the batteries and now weigh 173lbs! I feel so depressed, because I haven't been this weight since 2011. I do about an hour of cardio 4 days a week, and I think I thought that the exercise would help me offset bad eating, but no. I really need to get back on track, but it took sooo much motivation for me to lose the weight the first time around, and I just don't feel that same energy now. I'm trying to get motivated again, because I know the scale is only going to go up if I continue like this. It seems this is a spot where people can understand my pain!

LaurieDawn
07-15-2014, 10:39 AM
Guacamole - You are so right! Welcome! We definitely understand the challenge, and it's especially hard when you get that first jarring reality. You maintained for a lot longer than I ever have, though, so you absolutely can do this. And even maintaining at 173 is so much better than letting it continue to creep up. I am finding that weight loss vids have become so motivational to me right now. Diane posted one a few pages back on this thread that I loved. Just a thought.

Mandy - I will be thinking about you today! And remember - today is about the interview process and enjoying yourself. The weight loss crazy can come back tomorrow. ;-)

Jessica - I scoped out your blog for a bit yesterday. Yay for getting rid of that man! Hope you're able to find the second job. And thanks for the trainer boy comraderie. It's great to have you in my corner.

Martini - The voices in my head often pick up the echo of the negative voices out there, and that tends to be in all facets of my life. I've become quite adept at blocking them generally, but sometimes, it's really hard. I love your concept of letting karma take care of it. I know that the things I regret most from my past tend to be related to careless words I have said about people.

Uber - I, too, have been pondering what I did last time. While embracing the fact that IT WORKED, I have also been acknowledging the fact that it DIDN'T WORK long-term. However, I am also recognizing that I don't have to have all of the answers for lifetime maintenance right now. I just have to have the answers to my right-now issues right now. When I get down to 190 (which, to me, seems way skinnier than it really is), I am going to focus on how to tie a knot in the rope before I focus on how to get down even further. Maybe. I got plenty o' time to decide what I will do when I am 45 pounds lighter. =)

Scale victory today! I weighed in for the first time on my new scale last Friday morning. I was camping for the weekend, and I intentionally did not weigh in yesterday because I didn't want to observe the effects of low sleep coupled with sore muscles. So, my second weigh-in was this morning. From Friday morning until this morning, the scale moved down <drum roll, please> from 239.8 to 234.0 - a 5.8 pound loss. Ridiculous, right? But I have to keep it in perspective. On my first weigh-in, I was experiencing both period and sodium bloat, and I managed to couple that with my first few days of being seriously on plan and add in a long high-activity weekend. Excited as I am to see a huge drop, I am resisting the urge to let up and let go. I am also resisting the urge to mentally calculate how much less I will weigh in two months based on a 6-pound-a-week loss pace. ARGH!!! The mental part of this is the hardest part.

Slashnl
07-15-2014, 11:32 AM
Hi all! Had a good workout this morning in Body Pump. I had been struggling a lot because I had increased my weights, but today I felt stronger and it wasn't quite as difficult. It still was a challenge, but not to the point of overwhelming. Well, except for the bicep workout. Still working on that.

It is kind of funny the different ways that you can get support from people. I have been pondering a couple of changes to my workout program. And, no, it isn't a major life-changing event, but I just have been thinking about it a lot. Well, last night I was talking to my husband and told him what I was thinking and the possibilities of what I could change. There are about 3 options I'm debating. So, what does he suggest? The hardest one. I told him that I kind of thought that's what I should do, but leave it to him to push for the hard one. He said that he wouldn't suggest it if he didn't think I could do it and if it wasn't the best possible choice. And he's right. He's not one of those cheerleader, positive reinforcement types, but when he gives advice, he is honest and thoughtful about what he suggests. I appreciate that! My son and I have both said that there are so many times he doesn't say what you want to hear, but you also know that he is right. :)

LaurieDawn: NICE scale victory! Don't downplay it at all, you've worked hard and that is a nice reward! Oh, and I love the new ticker you have with your trainer challenge!

Guacamole: Oh, don't we know how hard it is to start again. We can definitely feel your pain! But you can do it! Stay strong and you'll get there again. Glad you are joining us!

Mandy: Have a great time today! And you know what might happen? If you do go over on calories, sometimes a little jolt like that can actually help your weight loss efforts! Gotta confuse the body sometimes. Either way, I hope you have a great day and I know you'll impress them with those truffles!

Jessica: Hang in there! You have a lot that you are going through right now. It is hard to stay positive. I hope that coming here, you'll find a little support just for you! You can do this!!

Martini: I think that's the best thing to do. We can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself. (good song!) But really, everyone will have an opinion. So, we can't stress about what "they" are saying/thinking!

Uber: You make some good points. It is a fine line between obsessing over calories and just giving in to all indulgences. I get that. I am really trying to get to the point that I can have those times when I give in to a higher calorie day, without making it a higher calorie 3-4 months. I do wonder how that will be when you get to the point of maintaining, to not let yourself totally relax. I haven't had to worry about that yet, but I hope that I can stay mindful enough to check the scale occasionally to keep it in check. I hope!

LaurieDawn
07-15-2014, 11:55 AM
Diane - Yay for choosing the hardest exercise shake-up choice, and WOOT! for getting stronger to the point that what once seemed impossible is now doable. You'll get that for the biceps too, I have no doubt. =) Thanks also for the encouragement in the trainer boy challenge. My "downplaying" is really about not allowing myself to believe that I will lose 6 pounds a week if I keep working. I know I won't, and I have the tendency to get discouraged even while seeing positive results if they're not the results I expect. Oh. The head games that scale plays on me are unbearable sometimes. =)

Lishar
07-15-2014, 01:14 PM
Hello ladies I would like to join your group. I lost 65lbs last year and became lax and gained back 40. I am getting to the end of my cloths and WILL NOT BUY BIGGER ONES. So here I am back on track. I know what needs to be done. Just getting the motivation was difficult.

I have the afternoon without kids (camp) so am going to the Y again. We bought an Xbox one and I have been doing those exercise video's. They kick my booty.

I need to go back and read when I get some time.

ubergirl
07-15-2014, 05:19 PM
Mandy: Hope things are going great in Indiana. We are all rooting for you! And lucky ducks who get to eat those truffles-- you are a champ for not eating them all yourself (in one sitting..:p)

Diane: My worst is always the over the head, shoulders weights, and next, definitely biceps, but then you get those awesome toned arms! Regarding calorie obsession... I maintained around 190 for a year after I lost all the weight. That was a size twelve for me and I was pretty happy with it. During that time, I followed my basic eating rules but allowed myself indulgences-- a cocktail when out to dinner, desserts on holidays, that type of thing. It wasn't that bad. I didn't gain back the weight because of creep... I gained it back REALLY FAST when I was under way too much pressure of various kinds and I just sort of snapped and went back to hard core binge eating... like an entire quarter sheet cake-- that type of thing. I wish now that I had gone to therapy right then-- live and learn.

Guacamole: Welcome! Why is it that restarting seems so hard? I don't know, because when you're in the groove it's a lot easier. We all get where you're coming from! Happy you're here.

Martini: Wise words about not listening to negativity. I'm much better about that now that I'm older-- really, when you're in your 50s, people's expectations are a lot lower, so it gets easier!

Laurie Dawn: Hooray for the WHOOSH! You have absolutely earned it! And I have no doubt you'll earn the trainer challenge too. Honestly, you have made me want to slap him!:D

Jessica: There is no stress worse than making ends meet stress (well, except for crazy husband stress-- that's worse.) Good luck on finding the job, and good for you for working on food while juggling other stresses-- just getting some of the weight off will make you feel so good about yourself that everything else will seem easier.

Lishar: DON'T BUY NEW CLOTHES! You're here and you will be right back down before you know it.

So, disappointing scale day. I'm up 1.5 for no apparent reason-- no high sodium to blame. Nothing. Just a random bounce. Unfortunately, I'm also pretty stressed today. I've got several stressful things going on the home front and also several stressful things going on the work front.... so, the gain, and the stress made me think a few of those "who cares, it's all hopeless, I'll always be fat..." kinds of thoughts.

Luckily, I felt as if I could hear you guys in the background shouting SHUT UP UBER!:carrot::carrot: So I'm still on track.

martini
07-15-2014, 10:49 PM
LaurieDawn - Argh! It's so hard!! Part of me is woo hoo-ing the huge drop. The other part of me knows exactly what you're saying about keeping it in perspective and that there's no way you can sustain a 6lb/week loss. I'll just celebrate with you and agree that the mental part is the most difficult thing about this process.

Diane - It sounds like you've got a really great support system in your family.

Lishar - Don't buy bigger clothes!!

Uber - SHUT UP UBER!!! :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot: It's just a random bounce!! There's nothing there to justify hopelessness!!

garnetrising
07-16-2014, 02:24 AM
Hey Ladies! I'm at work on a tablet so its a little hard to do a big update but I wanted to say welcome to our newcomers. When I get home, I'll pop back on and do a real update. :)

Home again! Here's all the good things that happened today.

First, I stepped on the scale four or five times. I saw 228.8 x2, 228.6 x2, and 228.2. In a weird way, I was almost a little frustrated that it wasn't a higher number. I feel like I don't trust the scale but the scale doesn't lie! That means that in the last two weeks, I've lost 5 lbs and 6.5 inches!

Some other good news! I can now fit into regular size 18 instead of women's 18! Also, dropped off the return of service at them court house. And hit -5 to my BMI and my 90 sec plank goal.

Mandy: Look forward to hearing all about how the truffles go over at the potluck. They sound yummy! You'll hit 299 soon, too. 230 was taunting me for a while.

guacamole: Welcome to our corner! I am so sorry to hear about your leg. And I know what it feels like to have to rebuild your motivation. Thankfully, the first step is usually the hardest.

Laurie: I can relate to that, too! While I didn't lose as much, I did break the 230 threshold and I was terribly reluctant to actually believe it. But we both need to allow ourselves to enjoy and relish on our success without feeling the need to qualify it. :)

Diane: It's great that he is able to support you by challenging you to challenge yourself. It shows how much he believes in your success and that he knows sometimes you just need that kick in the butt to do what you already know needs to be done.

Lishar: Welcome aboard. Don't beat yourself up over a backslide, apat yourself on the back for catching it and deciding to fix it.

Uber: Oh if you could only hear how Shut up, Uber! Sounds in my head... Lol! Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by the rise on the scale. It can be frustrating, but we all know that not happens.

LaurieDawn
07-16-2014, 09:27 AM
Lishar - So good to see you here! It's nice when old friends join and we achieve success together again.

Uber - Scale bounces are the worst! But they are completely part of the journey. I remember when I got my first really high scale bounce (I think I gained almost five pounds after indulging in some high-sodium (but low-cal) food.) I came to this forum desperately trying to figure it out, and was collectively told that I needed to chill. Isn't it nice that we already know that we need to chill when these random events happen? At 33 pounds down (this time), you know you can do this. I'm just grateful you're doing it with me, cuz it's fun to have you around.

Martini - Thanks for both the woo-hoo and the empathy with the mental issues on the scale. I appreciate being both heard and understood.

Garnet - Both scale and clothing victories! And inches lost to boot! Woot! These are the times that sustain us when it gets more challenging, yet as you can see from my post, sometimes they're really hard to trust.

Down again on the scale this morning by .4. I actually was just really hoping to hold onto my whoosh, so I am really excited to get another good result. The desire to show trainer boy is delightfully motivational at keeping me on track, and the knowledge that I am going to be weighing in the morning is helping me too, though I am seeing some of the old scale-related weirdness coming into play -- like evaluating the potential weight loss from a BM.

I have fed hubby dinner the last two days, and that seems to be working out all right. Not sure he loves my food, but he's eating it without too much complaint. Ironically, though, there seems to be some unresolved issue between us that is making our relationship a little chillier than I would like, and I am fighting my desire to blame it on the weight loss. Not the weight loss itself, of course, as that is not really noticeable yet, and I'm well within my weight range of when we have been together, but the food oddities and the time expended working out. But even these are not new. So, I am working hard on being patient with him while he figures this out (he won't talk to me about it), and taking care of myself while he does.

Slashnl
07-16-2014, 12:02 PM
Hi all! Lots of good things happening on this thread. Love it! Went to Spin this morning. This was the regular class today and then Friday is the MOI class with the heart rate monitor. Well, we'll see how it goes. I was kind of sore this morning from yesterday, so I was glad that this other guy that goes to all the same classes that I do said that he was sore, too. At least it isn't just me. He also said that he and his wife were talking about me and they both noticed that I've been losing weight. He said that he figured he would tell me that they noticed rather than just talking to his wife about it. Ha! That was nice.

But, everything is not always roses. I have to admit that while I have been staying on track fairly well with my food plan, I am having so many thoughts of eating more than I should. For some reason, sweets are just calling my name right now. Not that I want to go back to the old days of not caring what I eat, I was thinking last night about how it used to be that if I wanted to have a candy bar/cookie/ice cream/cake, I would just have it. No thought of how many calories I had for the day. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be like that, but on the other hand, I do get tired of constantly thinking about it. I do let myself have treats occasionally, but not without planning for it, or thinking about it first, or checking the calories before going ahead with it. So tiring.

Uber: Ok, I'll help.... Shut up Uber!!! :) It is just a little bump and it can't derail your progress! That said, I can so relate to your disappointment. I hate it when there is even just a small gain. It can just send me spiraling into negativity and frustration. HANG IN THERE! You can do it! This will not stop you! Oh and I loved your comment to Martini about once you are 50, people's expectations are lower. I so agree!! :)

LaurieDawn: It is so hard to work on losing weight without it occupying a large portion of your time. And I think it does make it hard on family members. While they want to be supportive, I know they must get tired of the constant talk of working out/food issues/calorie count. I don't know what the answer is, but I do think it is an issue.

Garnet: Good job on meeting those goals! I had done a plank challenge and I know that 90 seconds is a long time to be in a plank!!! I had to laugh because the longer I held the plank, the more I could feel/hear my back popping, my hips popping, and other 50 year old issues. :)

Lishar: Welcome! You seem to have a good plan going and I'm with everyone else... don't buy new clothes. You can do it!!

Martini: Yep, the mental part of this process is so tiring....

Slashnl
07-16-2014, 12:03 PM
Gosh, I am so wordy anymore.

ubergirl
07-16-2014, 12:35 PM
Good morning everyone!

Martini: Thanks for the SHUT UP! I need them from time to time!

Garnet: Breaking 230! That's fantastic! And a regular 18! That's fantastic too! You are doing great, in spite of scale freak outs!

Laurie: Scale-related weirdness? Guessing BM weight? Sounds WAY too familiar! I find that I do best when I give in to the scale and just jump on it all the time-- even though I have scale weirdness, at least I always know where I stand. Sorry about the relationship issues-- weight loss, or even making the decision to live healthy does seem to ripple through the family in unexpected ways. My family pretty much eats what I eat, and they don't seem to mind...
generally when I'm trying to lose weight I think I get more creative with cooking

Diane: Your presence on this thread is very comforting-- I think of you as a releasing big sister. Each time, my mind starts down a toxic path, I think of you saying NEVER GIVE UP and it really helps me a lot!

As for me, more SHUT UP UBER needed. The scale bounced up another .4 so I'm sitting at 264.4 instead of 262.8 of two days ago. So, this is where my GOOD FOOD BAD FOOD mindset starts to kick in. I am trying really hard to loosen up a tiny bit, and to eat a wider variety of foods, but whenever I do, I start panicking and thinking it's not going to work... so now I'm convinced that the scale bump is due to eating pasta even though I counted every single calorie in it, even giving myself ALL of the olive oil calories for the recipe even though I only ate part of the recipe. I'm going to go back to how I was eating before (generally, less carbs) for a few days and see if it makes any difference.

Also, I am definitely more stressed right now. I'm about to send the first part of a manuscript to my editor-- and the stakes are pretty high, because last time, he thought it needed a lot of work. And my lovely crazy dad is rejecting the home health care worker that I hired to take care of him. Yesterday, I was feeling that urge to put a little something in my mouth...

I'm reminding myself that I'm at the bottom of my yo-yo zone, and that historically, I've tended to stall out a bit at previous set points. Low 260s has been my default weight for the last 2 years... it's where I plateaued after my regain, and it's also where I seem to stall out on the way down. NOT THIS TIME!!!!!!

Thanks for listening guys!

garnetrising
07-16-2014, 03:50 PM
So. I'm going to go on a little rant now. I have friend, well, a co-worker - I don't think I'd really classify her as a friend - who posted something on facebook that kinda of got under my skin. For the most part, she was belittling the idea of health supplements, implying that they're all for weight loss and full of crap and that the only people who take them are lazy. I'll be honest and up front right now, I take supplements. The supplements are all natural, they're not full of the crap she's constantly screaming that they are. I am very careful about what I put in my body. More importantly, I don't take the supplements I take because I'm lazy and I don't take them for weight loss. I take them because they help with my anxiety, depression, hypothyroidism, insomnia and fatigue. I walk roughly two miles a day, I've started swimming again, and I'm doing my own July Fitness challenge with pushups, crunches, and planks. I watch what I eat and I record my calorie consumption honestly.

I think the thing that angers me the most about her post - and post like it - is that the person who posted them weighs maybe 135-140 lbs. She's always been thin. If it wasn't for how much she drinks, she probably wouldn't even have the muffin top she does. I am far more particular about the stuff I put into my body (not that I'm calling you out for your late night Taco Bell runs and multiple Pepsi's you drink within 4 hours at work) and I work harder than you do when I work out. You took your dogs for a walk and came to work crying about how much your feet hurt after a mile. You don't want to climb the ladders to up stock product because "it takes too long" and "it's hot up there" while I embrace the physical excursion.

Where do these types of people get off preaching about what is or is not required? Why, when they've never had to struggle with their weight or losing it, do they believe that they know all the answers? Or that they have a right to belittle those people who do need help? Not everyone's body is the same. Believe it or not, there are people who need some help. As I said, I don't take my supplements to lose weight, but to combat my other problems but the implication that I am lazy because I take health supplements infuriates me. And, for the record, I am losing weight at the same rate I have every other time I've adjusted my lifestyle, but my "lazy pills" are helping regulate my bodies systems so that I do find myself putting on more muscle than before because my body isn't under the false belief that it is going to die. More importantly, aren't I the one to can lift more than you can, Miss "Help me with this pallet, please, it's heavy"? So why don't you climb off your I'm-Better-Than-Thou horse now before I decide to punch you in the face.


Laurie: I'm really sorry about your relationship. I'm sure that, in time, he'll figure out how to express to you what he's feeling. Congrats on adding another .4 lbs to your woosh, by the way. So exciting!

Diane: Isn't it nice when people notice? I can understand how the calorie thing can be tiring. I'm pretty sure I'm an odd duck, because I actually enjoy looking at the numbers. I like having an idea of what my carb-protein-fat ratio looks like and making sure that I'm eating enough calories. Maybe that's why I enjoy doing it so much? Because I'm not having to forgo something because I've already eaten a lot of calories... It's one of those things some people really just don't understand. I put on a lot of my weight in middle and high school not because I was eating too much and not because I was trying to starve myself, but because my depression was so bad I had no desire to get out of bed, let alone eat. I have to admit that I was incredibly reluctant to calorie count the first time I did it during my weight loss in 2009. Every time I've lost since, though, it's always been the first thing I fall back on because I understand my body better than anyone else and I know that I have a habit of not eating enough.

Uber: There are a lot of things that factor in to fluctuations. Not the least of which is stress! So does any exercising you're doing, the amount of water you're drinking and so many other factors. I wouldn't immediately tell yourself that you're not allowed to eat something you enjoy based on a temporary gain. Especially since you are aware that you're approaching a stall point. I don't even want to think about how I'm going to feel in another 20 lbs when I approach my stall point. You'll be okay, girl, you've got this. :D

FeraFilia
07-16-2014, 10:00 PM
Hi everyone! I'm home!

Ugh. I'm not even going to look at the scale for a few days, because not only do I have the traveling/sodium mess to think about, TOM decided to show up and be like OH HEY, HEARD YOU'RE TRAVELING, CAN I COME?! And yeah, good times. Nothing like 8+ hours in a car with cramps that make you cry. JOY.

Anyway. We went out to the church last night, and they had pork barbecue, corn on the cob, cole slaw, a salad that was super yummy, and like 20390 desserts. For 10 people. They had a strawberry and cream dessert, a banana pudding cake thing, frosted cookies, lemon bars, etc etc. Plus my cookie truffles. SO glad I fasted most of the day, because church ladies get offended if you don't eat their food offerings at the potluck. So I sampled a little bit of all the desserts. Ate half of a pork sandwich, half of my corn on the cob, a BIG helping of the salad, and a little hash brown casserole. I think I did fairly well.

After an hour of eating and chatting I excused myself so they could do the interview with my husband (it's not appropriate for me to be present for that), so I wandered around outside the church for a bit. Took a couple pictures of the parsonage, just sat and listened to the sounds that are so different from the city sounds I'm used to. I heard a few cars, but mostly I heard birds, a rooster and some cattle in the distance. It was so peaceful and wonderful and I loved it. But it was already 7pm when I went outside, and then it started getting dark and I didn't want to meet a coyote. I sat under the security lights and played solitaire on a picnic table.

Until 10pm.

That's when my husband was finally allowed to come get me and bring me back inside (I think they lost track of the time, honestly), and while he was out there we calculated up the mileage they needed to reimburse him for traveling. He was outside all of 5 minutes, maybe.

So, we went back inside, and they mentioned a church council meeting on Sunday, and Curtis (my husband) said they hadn't mentioned anything about salary/compensation so I was a little hesitant to be excited. But then they were all "yeah, we don't need to wait for our meeting on Sunday, we didn't need to talk it over, we had a quick vote while you were outside and voted unanimously to move forward."

SO YAY! :carrot: :carrot:

They will have the compensation discussion later this week via skype and then settle on a weekend where we can go back and worship/visit with the congregation, and Curtis can preach, and the congregation can have the vote. Usually at this point the vote is just a formality and things will move forward.

So, I'm pretty excited and our trip was productive! :)

Guacamole and Lishar - hello and welcome! :)

Uber - don't stress the gain! (Should I chime in here with a late SHUT UP, UBER!??) if you've been eating low carb for the most part, and then eat carbs for a meal, it can cause you to retain water just like salt can. I've had a low sodium, carby day and seen a weird bump on the scale before, too. Just relax. :)

Diane, Laurie and Garnet - Congrats on your victories! Keep it up. :)

My brain is a bit fried, so I'm gonna go zone out with the TV for a little bit and then go to bed.

Good night!

martini
07-16-2014, 11:40 PM
Mandy - Congratulations on the good news! It sounds like the trip went really, really well - for your husband's interview, for you staying on plan, for the church you were at. I'm so happy for you!

Jessica - Deep breaths. Lots and lots of deep breaths. :)

Uber - I'm very likely on the other side of the world from you and yet I can feel the anxiety from here! It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your personal and professional life and, when you mix in the heavy emotions that come with being at the bottom of your yo-yo zone, things start to get all tweaky.

I've got a doctor's appointment on Saturday and I think I'm going to use that time to step on the scale and see how I've done so far. I need some motivation at the moment and all my talk about rebuilding my relationship with food just isn't providing that oomph I need.

ubergirl
07-17-2014, 12:16 AM
Mandy: Just popping in to say HOORAY!!! Such wonderful news!

LaurieDawn
07-17-2014, 10:04 AM
Mandy - WOOT! Your victory trumps any scale and/or non-scale victory here. I'm so excited for you and your new life. And it sounds like you kept your food choices reasonable. You're well on your way to figuring out how to maintain, at least how I understand it. Maintainers I've seen on here often eat high-cal meals for special functions, but then are able to go right back to eating more normally.

Uber - Oof. Those are the worst! And, actually, the reason that I have resisted weighing daily. I have no words of wisdom, mainly cuz you know if all anyway. The hardest part of weight loss is the psychological part of it, and you're definitely being tested right now, but if you can endure this part of it, it's easy sailing. Right? =)

Martini - When I did my anti-scale thing (which was actually pretty successful), I focused on embracing the great things about regular exercise and calorie restriction. (I don't know if that's what you're doing, but I'm saying it for demonstrative purposes.) I loved being able to do more. I loved how, once I got into my plan, I was able to feel like I had more control of my food. But a good step on the scale can be highly motivational as well. =) Hope it goes well at the doctor.

Jessica - I very much dislike uninformed opinions. Who cares if you're taking supplements for weight loss or for depression or for help sleeping or whatever? So long as you have done the research and feel comfortable that they're safe, it's wonderful that you have found some things to help. I take a daily vitamin, fish oil, potassium, iron, vitamin C (because otherwise, my iron is too low to give blood), B12, biotin, fiber, and lysium. Taking care of our health in the best way we know how is not "lazy."

Diane - If we got paid for words, I would definitely have the fattest check. I am irresponsibly wordy. I am in the "honeymoon period" right now, where it all seems so easy and I don't understand why I would be the least bit attracted to the donuts in the conference room right now. But I so relate to those pockets of time when eating all the "good stuff" seems so much better than making ourselves crazy with the weight loss stuff. White knuckle days. I'm so sorry you're experiencing them, but you've gotten through them before, and you'll get through them now.

The scale continues to be kind to me. I'm down another .8 pounds from yesterday. Just accepting and embracing.

Things are thawing on the home front. I really don't think it's weight loss related drama (though the weight loss craziness has added to it), but more adjusting expectations of how this new blended family will work. For example, if it were my kids, I would not feed them at 11 p.m. because I don't think it's good to wake someone up, fill them full of fast food, and load them back into the car so they can fall asleep again.

Interestingly, he complimented me on the outfit I chose to wear to work today. When I'm gaining (which is what happens when I'm not actively losing), I wear very conservative clothing, partly because it's hard to care and partly because I am hiding my body. But when I'm losing, I tend to be more confident and adventurous, even though I know that nobody sees any difference between 239-pound me and 232-pound me. In that way, I think the weight loss will enhance the relationship. Just gotta be patient and let things shake out a bit.

SunnyMac
07-17-2014, 11:07 AM
Hello All
I need to get better at being here every day at least for one check in! So much has happened! Welcome to everyone new - I'm looking forward to catching up and reading all of these posts when I have some time on my train ride home today. For now I'm going to skip the individual replies until I can get caught up and just share my update.

OMG I AM SOOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!!!!!! Thank you start of TOM and a cruel workout with my trainer this morning. I did try to add some 'more than usual' calories on to breakfast today knowing that I get like this at TOM but honestly.....doing no good. My stomach is just grumbling away over here at my desk screaming 'Feed Me Seymour" (for those of you new I work in entertainment...I can't help a good Broadway reference sometimes) So it's one of those kinds of days even though I'm having a great week. The scale is attempting to creep down however today being the start of TOM I'm not really looking to see any changes until Sunday/Monday. I was shocked I wasn't up 4-5 lbs of water this morning - so I'll take it. I've been really sticking to my 'healthy living' food plan. Thankfully I have a lull where I don't have any major work drama going on for a little while...no travel, no meetings, no parties, no lunches so I'm really using this time to dig in and focus. I've been having some pain in my hip so I'm working on that with my trainer along with everything else and just trucking on through.

On the homesteading front I picked up our first fresh chickens of the year this week and started our winter stock up (I buy fresh whole chickens from a local farm once a month through the summer and fall, quarter them myself and set aside 'meal size' portions in a deep freezer and then make my own stock for all winter). I've also got a lot of zucchini and squash coming in in my small garden that I have going for this year while I work on laying out the big one. I discovered we have a huge butternut tree in our yard too (white walnuts) so I'm now also harvesting and stealing nuts from the squirrels! I'm going to go off to the farm this weekend to self-pick hopefully about 15lbs of blueberries and start processing those and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to get another 10lbs or so from my parents...they live in Maine and pick them wild by the bucketful where they live. I know it sounds like a lot but I freeze a bunch and use them for things like baking or putting in oatmeal and I also plan on making a TON of jams and 'butters' and canning them to over winter and also to do for holiday gifts this year. Basically my goal as a part of losing weight and having a healthy lifestyle is really to cut as much of the grocery store out of my life as possible and get to a point where all of our meat is raised (humanely and happily) within 30 miles of our home and to grow and preserve as much as possible in the summers so we can eat local garden fresh all winter. Also in all honesty....It's cold here in New England in the winter...as a secondary perk of preserving our own food my goal is to also NOT have to grocery shop in the snow :) I know some of you asked for photos when I mentioned my garden last post - rest assured I am documenting everything I'm doing with the hopes of putting together a blog down the line so I will have plenty to share at some point once I get it all together. I think what I'm going to do is document now and make creating the blog a winter project. I'm hopeful that I'll have a nice example of lifestyle change and weightloss by the time winter rolls around!

Slashnl
07-17-2014, 11:59 AM
Hi all! Somewhat exciting NSV for me today. I am wearing a pair of 18W pants that I haven't worn in a long time. They are not tight at all, in fact the butt area and legs feel rather loose. I think I might be able to go down to Misses size 18, but I'm not buying anything right now. When it gets into fall, I'll need to get a new pair of jeans and probably some new pants for work too. Hopefully, misses sizing will be perfect for me. I hope, I hope. So, still another couple of months to work on it. I went to Body Pump today and I made it through, but I felt off a little. I couldn't get into a rhythm at all. Oh well, it can't all be an amazing experience. :)

SunnyMac: Nice! That would be great having all of that fresh food and homemade jams. I'm so impressed! Someday I would like to do more gardening myself, but for now I go to the farmer's markets. Good for you!

LaurieDawn: That makes sense. Sometimes it is hard to blend established families, so I'm sure that you have a lot to work through. But I'm sure it will all be well worth it!

Mandy: Wow! What a great trip! I'm so glad that it is all working out for you. What an exciting time! I think you did well with your food choices. Such a good thing that we don't have to go to potlucks every day!

Garnet: Yeah, you are justified in feeling put off by what she said. I really don't understand why people are so judgmental on that stuff anyway. Even if someone was taking the supplements for weight loss, who cares?? That's their choice! I find it similar to any kind of exercise or diet. What works for one person doesn't always work for others. But you will see so many people defend their choice with such great passion and yet, such great intolerance for other choices. Don't get it.

Uber: I'm so sorry for the stresses you are having right now. Having the scale be uncooperative is not helpful at all. But, keep pushing forward! Don't give yourself the option of giving in. I know it is hard, but I also know you can do it!

ubergirl
07-17-2014, 12:15 PM
Good morning everyone (at least here in PST)

Martini Good luck with the weigh in at the MD!

Laurie Too funny about dressing better after a small loss! It's so true, and just shows how much of how we look is actually just about how we feel!

Diane I know exactly what you mean about just getting tired of the whole thing! I can't decide if this mindset is the thing that will bring me down, or actually a pathway to an even better way of looking at things. I keep fantasizing that MAYBE I could just for once and for all stop doing the stuff that made me hit almost 300lbs, permanently eat in a reasonable manner, stop obsessing, and find my "natural weight" Well, not yet. But maybe some day.

Jessica Only you know what's best for you! I don't know why some people just want to insist on their opinions, but the best thing to do is just tune them out. Honestly, when people post stuff that irritates me on FB, I just hide their posts. Life is too short.

Sunny Total awesomeness about your garden! We have one and we are absolutely inundated with tomatoes right now, which is so great because I can literally live on fresh tomatoes and they are so diet-healthy!

Thank you all for the SHUT UP UBERs! So, I'm still up .8 from my low weight, but I dined out at a Japanese restaurant last night, meaning more sodium. Had black cod with tiger shrimp-- delicious, and calorie friendly.

I just keep thinking that if I don't give up eventually I'll lose weight-- no matter what.

A question about food logs: I've been using fitday for years-- I've got weights and calories going back to 2009. But fit day is terrible-- they have the worst food list ever. I tried my fitness pal the other day-- and it is way more user friendly. So, trying to decide if I should actually switch.... fit day has the advantage of having ALL of my previous weights and a long list of "custom foods" that I've added. But MFP is easier and seems to have a much better and more realistic database. Opinions?

FeraFilia
07-17-2014, 01:30 PM
Thank you all for your congrats! :) We are pretty happy. I fell in love with the place!

Uber - I use MFP and I LOVE their food database, even though you have to make sure you're picking the right choice since it seems everything is in there 12 times! If you want to take the time to move numbers over (even if it's just a monthly number so you can see a basic trend) you can edit past weights and measurements on MFP. And I particularly love that they have for things like common meats, fruits and veggies VERIFIED options (no * next to it) that you can weigh out in oz or grams to fill it in for accuracy. I can't compare it to other calorie sites, because I haven't used any others.

Diane - Congrats on the 18s! I remember on my last trip downward how it felt to finally wear 18s out of the house without feeling like a sausage, and even managed a pair of 16s once (skinny jeans at that!). I felt like I accomplished something major. Right now I'm stuck between my loose 24s and my little-too-tight 22s. And my 3x shirts no longer cling to my muffin top... Size victories are better than scale victories, in my opinion. :D

Sunny - I FEEL YOUR PAIN. TOM showed up for me the day before we left, then sort of hesitated for a couple days with just light spotting, then the night before we headed back home, it showed up with a vengeance. I think it's trying to make up for its absence last month. Combined with the sodium of eating out 3 days in a row, my rings are super tight and it's hard to make a fist from all the water. Also, I'm very much looking forward to having enough space for a garden, some fruit trees and bushes, and living in farm country for fresh meat and other produce. I can't wait to learn how to do all the canning, and making jams and stocking my own pantry with things I've picked from my garden and made myself. I'm hoping this congregation votes "yes" and we get to move in to that parsonage. I'll attach some pics.

Laurie - Congrats on your scale moving and I wish you luck on the relationship issue. My husband gets very withdrawn when something is bothering him because he doesn't want to discuss it until he has worked out the bother in his own brain and is ready to answer all the questions. Doesn't matter how much I nag him, it'll be discussed when he's finally come to terms with what he was grappling with. So, I've just stopped nagging, and have resorted to "I know something is bothering you, are you ready to discuss it?" and eventually the answer is yes. A lot of times he doesn't want to discuss it because he doesn't want to offend or insult me or make me unhappy, so he avoids answering questions outright that might impact me negatively. Wonderful to know he wants me happy, but kinda sucks for the 'communication' thing... he needs to be happy, too! Men are weird. :P

Martini - Good luck with the doctor's scale! I hope it gives you the boost you need to stick with your plan and not fight with your brain to do so. :) Seeing the scale numbers go down is pretty motivating!

Okay ya'll...

Today sucks lol. I'm retaining so much water my hands hurt, and my feet look like they've been inflated. The cramps are likely to kill me before the day is done. I just want to sit and shovel some form of semi-liquid chocolate into my face with a salty vessel (like chocolate drizzled popcorn, or a sweet dip with super salty chips). And I'm crazy exhausted. Whenever I miss a period (as I did in June) the next one tends to show up double. Double pain. Double flow. Double cravings. And it's miserable.

I'm still happy, though. I keep remembering that there is only a very small chance that this congregational vote won't go through and we very likely can start planning a future around this new home, hubby's new job, new location, new neighbors, etc. I'm pretty sure I've already been offered a temporary, part time position at a Dairy Queen when we get there until I can find something better suited (and hey, I'm of the mind that any income is better than NO income!). As I mentioned to Sunny above, I want to live in this house. It's gorgeous. It sits right behind the church (pros and cons to that - think of the gas money saved on hubby's commute to work, and SO much land, you'll see in the pics).

This house, stats: 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 car garage, full finished basement, in home office, utility room w/ washer and dryer. Single story above ground. Central living room/kitchen/dining room with bedrooms down a hall to one side, and office/utility room/garage/entrance to basement down the hall off the other side. Aaaand pictures!

This one was from the driveway (that gravel in the corner) and does well to show just how much open space is around the property. I'm hoping they allow me to till up an 8x8 patch or something for a garden. :)
http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/DSCN1349_zps72c8156c.jpg

This one is just a front view of the house. I really like it. :)
http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/DSCN1348_zps0cd9472d.jpg

And this is off to the side of the house. I'm actually standing back by the parking lot of the church for this picture. The church owns close to 20 acres of land (I think) and what they own stretches back to that tree line, and beyond.
http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/DSCN1346_zps5ee5f44d.jpg

garnetrising
07-17-2014, 03:34 PM
Martini: Yeah, writing about it helped vent my frustration. Hope your doctor's appointment goes well.

Laurie: That's not necessarily true. While they may not immediately notice a change in your physical appearance, they are likely to notice the increase in confidence. :) I'm glad things between you and the hubby are a little less chilly, too.

Sunny: I am sincerely envious of your access to your own produce and farm fresh chickens. That is the sort of way I'd like to live if I had the ability. I can relate to the hunger of TOM. Usually, I'm hungry lead up to or following it. The first day, though, I have no appetite for the pain in my lower back. XD

Diane: Yay for your NSV! Isn't it such an incredible feeling to climb into a pair of jeans that are a size smaller? I made a point of swinging by the store while I had time the other day because I just wanted to know. I knew that I wouldn't be able to buy a pair - and I don't need them right now - but I wanted to see if I could do it. I was looking to try size 16W but couldn't find any so I tried the 18 misses and about screeched in joy when they not only fit but weren't trying to kill me in the process. :D

Uber: You know what? Even with my limited budget and the fact that I have a hard time justifying spending money on anything, necessary or not, I made a point of going out and buying a tape measure. I did it because when the scale has stalled in the past, it has brought out the blues. There are two things I do now when my weight stalls, I avoid the scale for a day or so and I whip out that tape measure. I find that, usually, when my weight stalls, it's because my inches are moving with a vengeance. :)

As for calorie trackers, I got started originally with FitDay, myself, many many moons ago. You're right, though, it really doesn't compete with a lot of newer systems, though. The last time I did things, I tried fatsecret.com. My brother has suggested My Fitness Pal, and I've thought about it, but I ended up sticking with Fat Secret. Funny thing, though. I still log my inches and weight once a week at FitDay just because it has so many of them on record as it is. :)

Mandy: Such wonderful news for the two of you. Best of luck continuing to move forward with that! I'm with you on sources of income. There is no shame in working any job as long as you give it your all and do it with a smile on your face. After all, ever job has to be worked by someone and you're right - some income is better than no income. That house and property look beautiful. Keep focusing on the good and be sure to keep us posted!


And I think that's everybody!

So, on the one hand, I feel a little bad about not hitting my July Fitness Challenge in full force yesterday. Out of pushups, plank, and crunches, I only did a 60 sec plank. That being said, I did walk Luna 2.144 miles again and I went swimming for about 40 minutes before work. I didn't realize just how much the waves had been fighting me until I when to climb the stairs to shower and my calves and thighs tried to scream in protest. Thankfully, I didn't have to do any climbing on the big ladders at work last night - I work freight at Home Depot. I did, however, get to work on stocking paint. I LOVE stocking the gallons of paint. It's a great workout for my arms. :D I don't get to do it often, usually our manager puts the guys on it, but when the pallet was brought out I jumped all over it with Greg and we knocked out two full pallets in no time. :)

But it's now 12:30 and my stomach has finally decided that it's hungry so I'm going to go make something to eat. Have a great day everybody!

FeraFilia
07-18-2014, 12:53 AM
Thanks Jessica! :)

I used to work in commercial sales at Lowe's so I GET IT. A lot of times I did the jobs of cashier, and lumber associate, and loader, and loss prevention at that end of the store, because many times I WAS IT. Gotta love retail lol.

garnetrising
07-18-2014, 03:22 AM
You're welcome, Mandy. And I'm really lucky. The Home Depot I work at is a pretty small one and my co-workers, for the most part, really are the best. My bosses are fantastic and we've got an incredible customer base so I can't really complain.

A quick and lovely update, I saw 227.4 on the scale today. I always take an average, though, so my weigh in was 228.0 lbs. On the one hand, I'm hesitant to believe it as usually, but I'm going to accept it for the awesome that it is. Went swimming all by my lonesome tonight and had quite lovely time. The beach down at the lake was pretty abandoned so I ended up doing laps for about an hour. :D

LaurieDawn
07-18-2014, 09:03 AM
Jessica - I love that you're right. The confidence is a gamechanger is so many ways, including appearance. Super jealous of your swimming, BTW. I have got to find a way to incorporate more swimming in my life. And congrats on the scale progress!

Mandy - I'm so excited for you and your new adventure. Can't wait until the news is official. And I would work at a Dairy Queen without hesitation. Income is income. Well, maybe a bit of hesitation. All the ice cream and candy would be tough to work around every day. =)

SunnyMac - Great to see you check in! Your garden/fresh food plan is so great on so many levels.

Diane - You are a model of consistency. And I often feel like I need an occasional humdrum work-out to really feel great about the ones that are really spectacular. =) But look at your consistency paying off. Fitting into new clothes is the best! Congratulations!

Uber - The scale-unfriendliness is ugly, but I admire your ability to soldier on through it. As you say, it's only a matter of time, and I can't wait until you get your whoosh!

Things at the home front defrosted rather suddenly yesterday morning. Still not sure why they froze so quickly and thoroughly. Not sure why they defrosted. But really glad they did.

And my scale moved up this morning. 0.2, so hardly a gain, but not a loss either. And I have just decided that scale anxiety is going to be a permanent part of my life for a bit. When it goes down, I try to temper it in my mind so as not to be disappointed that it's not going to happen every day. When it goes up, I try to tell myself that scales just fluctuate, and gains don't mean fat increases. It almost makes me want to take a hiatus from the scale, but I have only been using it for a week. So, I will keep going with weighing, at least for now. And I will try to remember that I am a mature, intelligent woman who doesn't need to be cowed by a standard household piece of equipment.

martini
07-18-2014, 09:08 AM
SunnyMac - What was it that got you into the whole homesteading thing? I've gone as far as looking up where to buy backyard chickens, but when I thought about taking care of the backyard chickens my interest kind of petered out. Is this a long held dream? Part of a bigger life philosophy? Something you kind of stumbled into?

LaurieDawn - Congratulations on the .8lb! Would you like some solidarity with your trainer boy challenge? That story irritated me enough that I'd be more than happy to get my own ticker if you'd only tell me what goal I should be shooting for.

Diane - Woo hoo for the NSV of the pants fitting better!!

Uber - What you're telling yourself completely jives with my experience. If you keep on going through the motions and doing what you're doing, you'll lose that .8lb!

I've used Lose It! and MyNetDiary. I like both but I'm using Lose It! now. I like the icons on Lose It! better (those things matter to me!) and it's easier to add custom foods than on than MyNetDiary. Fitday and I never really clicked, but I know lots of people here use it and love it.

Just a thought on switching programs... If you're thinking of going to a different program, you might time it so that it coincides with you reaching your new low. Sort of new start symbolism but YMMV so only an idea! :)

Mandy - So pretty!! Seeing all that yard makes me want to start running around it with my arms wide open!!

Jessica - Hurrah for paint cans!

Another day 100% on plan and I'm feeling good. It's been a challenging week personally and professionally and neither of the two are where I'd like them to be, but I'm continuing to fight the good fight. I just tell myself that we all have to earn our confidence. If things were easy my future self wouldn't believe I've earned the right to feel like I've achieved something good and meaningful.

ubergirl
07-18-2014, 12:44 PM
Diane: Size 18s!!!! That is so great! I have to say that for me, size 18 is where I start to feel normal. With all the working out you do, you're probably really compact! I STILL have not started exercising-- I was just determined not to hit myself with everything all at once and burn out, but I must say that every time I hear about your workouts it motivates me.

Jessica: Way to make work into a workout! Your solo swim sounded wonderful. I love swimming. Lake swimming is the best.

Mandy: Seeing the picture of your probable house made me so happy! There is nothing more exciting than moving into a new home-- especially one that you feel in your bones that you are going to love. I've always had a secret fantasy of working at Dairy Queen!

Laurie: So happy that the chill is off and woo-hoo on the scale loss! You're doing great!

Martini:Hooray for 100% on plan days. I'm so with you on the work stress and personal stress front. Stress is my number one sabotage. I am way too old not to have figured this out yet, and I'm determined.

So, as for me, I think I may have just survived the first big freak out! There is something that I've learned about myself. I can handle weight loss and stress on one front (i.e. diet and problem at work) but when I'm worrying about a work problem, a home problem, and diet, that's when I start to waver... so I wavered... but I'm okay now. I'm SO GLAD that we have this little group. It does help me just reminding myself that you guys are out there.

FeraFilia
07-18-2014, 01:50 PM
Guys. I can't explain it.

The scale is actually down today from last Friday. Only by 0.8, but still DOWN from last Friday. Even with 3 days of traveling and not-so-great food. And TOM. And water retention. And cravings that won't quit.

I'm still retaining water. My rings barely move. The cramps are still pretty vicious. The flow is still pretty heavy. AND THE SCALE IS DOWN. More than 2 full pounds from yesterday (That's a LOT of water!) and more to go.

With all this water retention going on, I'm thinking I'm gonna be ambitious and hope for 299.8 by next Friday. If not then, then the following Tuesday for mid-week weigh in. :D

Jessica - YAY scale movement! And I'm also jealous of the swimming. I don't even have a pool locally that I have access to.

Laurie - You know how I got over my anxiety and stress with the scale in the morning with daily weighing? I'd step on that little hooker every time I went to the bathroom.. before *and* after using the potty. Just to see the various fluctuations throughout the day and get myself used to seeing them. It got to the point at night when I'd step on the scale after peeing, that I'd be able to almost predict the morning weight. Seeing the daily ups and downs sort of desensitizes you to the fluctuations so they aren't so stressful when you weigh daily. At least, that's what worked for me. And yay for thawing at home. Hopefully you'll get to know what was going on that caused it.

Martini - I like that attitude. I also don't feel like I deserve the good things if I didn't have to work hard to get them. Things that are worth having are worth working hard so you can get them.

Uber - One freakout down, 203598 to go, right? Happens SO frequently in this process. I'm looking at the fact that I've been here before and I'm prepared for them and know what to expect as the silver lining in the regain cloud. We are here so you can freak out, I'm sure we all get it!

SunnyMac
07-18-2014, 03:10 PM
Hi all! Wow I've got lots to answer! Ok so here goes....yesterday I gave in at dinner and at the pasta I was craving and just moved on with life. I wasn't up or down on the scale this morning thankfully but today I'm a bit off. I woke up late to a combined thanks to TOM misery combined with every muscle in my body is screaming from my training session yesterday....I sware my trainer is trying to kill me. So with that breakfast was Starbucks breakfast sandwich on the go and lunch was a sandwich on the go. Not the worst but I'm sticking to vegetables now for the rest of the day. Thankfully I'm on my way home from work ( we close early on Friday in the summers)

Ok for the homesteading questions.... All at once. My reasons for starting to go down this path are many.

1. I have access. I live in a part of Massachusetts that is ripe with farms minutes minutes from my house for veggies, eggs and chickens (and one expensive thanksgiving turkey) and within an hour for pasture raised beef and pork.

2. My BH is a bit of a doomsdayer. He can't help it.....he's the anxious republican to my carefree self. Our relationship makes no sense to most as we are polar opposites but we have a house of true balance. The government should take notes. When we moved in together he had cans. Lots of them. Poorly organized well expired cans. I started to save him from himself and his botchilism cans. He calls it a doom shelf and I call it a fully functioning pantry. He's much less anxious with me around ( I can cook and grow a vegetable)

3. It escalated from there. We bought a house with just under an acre of land with the intention of growing a big garden. We don't have chickens yet but he wants them so it's in the future....but they will be his pets so I need to be convinced he will be willing to scoop the poop and take care of them. I'm not yet.

4. My mother is a Gardner and I grew up with it.

5. Both of my parents (still with us and in fairly good health considering) have both had cancer that was from either food base or environmental causes. My mom had breast cancer and the type is linked to processed soy and my father lives with an inoperable brain tumor that is thought to be caused bu excess exhaust fumes from working in trucking on loading docks for 30+ years. Food and environment is everything. And I am fat, not genetically and was raised on vegetable oil spread and food with processed additives that were disguised as low fat 'healthy natural options'. I'm thoroughly convinced that eating local food, in season, with the season, without additives is simply better for you so that is where we are trying to get to.

6. I'm a little crunchy-granola and prefer to eat food that was raised in a sustainable, environmentally friendly environment...not with hormones, additives and chemicals. You won't see me out there with a picket sign any time soon and I have no problem eating the cow....I just prefer that cow was raised humanely while it was alive. I also want to support local businesses.

7. Money. An organic chicken at my grocery store runs about $9 per pound. Grass fed beef $18 per pound and up, pasture raised pork isn't even an option. And it all comes from the far reaches of the country or other countries. The farm chickens I buy are $3.99 pp. I'm also looking at doing a bulk buy for pork and beef.... I'm looking at a 50lb share of locally raised beef for about $400 total. We are only 2 people....a 50lb share of beef will last us 12-18 months. Pork I'm trying to find someone to go in on a 'half pig' with us to share which is between 70-130 lbs of pork. It runs about $5 per pound on that. Everything comes processed, cut, individually cryosealed and flash frozen. We have a deep freezer. We also have a storage closet in our basement that is dry cool and dark so we are able and in process of converting it to a giant pantry/indoor root cellar. Blueberries at the grocery store.....$5 for a half pint....at the farm self picked is $3.25 per pound. It's a lot of money up front but is significantly less in the long run over a 12-18 month period. While the freezer is full too it allows me time to save cash for the next batch.

8. Everything tastes better. Period.and variety. Once you have eaten an heirloom purple pole bean the limp grocery store green beans will never be the same. Yes there are purple beans.

9. It's cold here in the winter. The last thing I want to do when it gets dark at 4pm and there is 4 feet of now on the ground and another storm coming in is grocery shop. If I stock up I can eat farm food all winter and not have to push a cart through a snow bank in January or fight with people for bread when a storms coming....cause I have flour and know how to make it.

I always new I wanted a big garden like I had as a child but really this has been a slow evolving process...we transition a bit more each year. I won't lie...it's a lot of work to make the transition but it's very rewarding in many ways and in my opinion worth it. It is a complete lifestyle. This is why I'm documenting to start a blog.... With easy steps, money saving tricks, how to find farms, how to order bulk etc. I have about 200 friends and colleagues following me in my personal world with the things I'm doing that I post on Facebook all wanting to know 'how to do what I do' so I figure at least a few people would read it!

Ok this has been a long post so I don't want to keep going on and my train is about to get to my stop. I'll try to check back later! Before I go...FERA that land!!!!!!! I so hope you get this. On the food tracker I used to use fit day ...I made the switch to MFP...I like it so much better.

LaurieDawn
07-18-2014, 04:18 PM
Mid-afternoon check-in! Going to do a full response in the morning, but just wanted to share something really quickly.

I have been totally on-plan and weighing for ONE WEEK. Granted, I have been working at it for two weeks prior, but -

Intellectually, I know this is crazy, but somehow, I feel like I should be down 20 pounds since I started weighing. I feel like I've worked hard and I deserve it. I also feel like I should be able to fit into smaller clothes and be able to do real push-ups like I used to. WTH? It's been ONE WEEK. A very good week. One that has seen me drop 6.8 pounds. So, why can't I be thrilled with the results, embrace that this is a long-term commitment, and look forward to my results in a month?

ubergirl
07-18-2014, 04:47 PM
Intellectually, I know this is crazy, but somehow, I feel like I should be down 20 pounds since I started weighing. I feel like I've worked hard and I deserve it. I also feel like I should be able to fit into smaller clothes and be able to do real push-ups like I used to. WTH? It's been ONE WEEK. A very good week. One that has seen me drop 6.8 pounds. So, why can't I be thrilled with the results, embrace that this is a long-term commitment, and look forward to my results in a month?

:hug::hug::hug::hug: The first few weeks are just so hard! I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if you're like this, but part of the problem for me is that in order to motivate myself to lose weight, I have to FACE THE PROBLEM. Once I face it, I can start to deal with it, but then, there is this super long lag time between the time when I decided to face it and the time when I actually see real concrete results.

You think to yourself, "this is intolerable, I have to do something about it..." and then you have to sit in that space for a long time, before you lose a substantial amount and start to reap the rewards. So much easier just to push the problem out of your mind and go back to eating again-- comfort zone.

It does take a while for the rewards to start piling up, and in the meantime, mini-goals, and just the sheer knowledge that we're in this together will need to pull us through!

garnetrising
07-18-2014, 04:50 PM
Laurie: Awesome that things are all warm again on the home front. I suppose sometimes men just get like that.

When I first started seriously tracking things, I was all about getting on the scale everyday, multiple times a day and the anxiety of a little gain could be nerve-wrecking. Even the last time, I was pretty religious about it. This time, though, I weigh-in most days but I don't force it. And I only record losses. I know that sounds like it would be easy for me to lie to myself about a gain that way, but I don't. I just choose not to record a 0.2 lb gain when I know it's just fluctuation because that's the part that would make me the most upset.

Still, I find that I don't often trust the scale when I get a loss because some part of me is afraid that it's a false loss. I have made a point of measuring my inches, though. The scale can occasionally lie to you but if the tape measure says you're waist is 41 inches, then your waist is 41 inches. And because inches come off slower than pounds, a half inch loss always feels so epic and so permanent. :)

I think there's just a little bit of ho-hum frustration. Maybe some tiny voice in your head trying to convince you that you're not going to be able to stick with it long-term. Whatever it is, tell that little voice to shut up. Tell it that you've kicked butt this week and you deserve to take pride in it. You are doing incredible and I can't wait to see where you stand in a month. :D

Martini: That's the best kind of attitude to have! Everything can't always be rainbows and unicorns and if it were, then we wouldn't appreciate the good days and the little successes nearly as much. As long as you're doing your best in all aspects of your life, you'll eventually get to where you're meant to be. <3

Uber: When you've got stress coming at you from multiple directions, that's when you really get to find out what you're made of. And when you come out the other side and you're still sticking to your guns, that can be the best feeling in the world. Don't beat yourself up for "wavering". This isn't a temporary thing and it's going to have its going to have its fluctuations.

Mandy: That is so awesome! There are always going to be days where we expect the worst and find ourselves to be pleasantly surprised. What it says to me is that your reaching a point where your body is able to compensate for the little hiccups. It's such a great feeling to see your body chugging along even when you have to side-step for a few days.


As for me, the day's still early so I don't really have much to say at this moment. But I will be back to check-in tonight before bed. Especially if anything particularly interesting occurs. Keep up with the awesome, ladies! We can do this.

Slashnl
07-18-2014, 06:54 PM
Hi all! Checking in a little later than usual. On Fridays in the summer, only one of us stays until 5:00 and everyone else leaves at 3:00. Well, I had a lot to do to be able to comfortably leave at 3:00... well, turned out to be 3:30, but still. So, I thought I'd wait until I got home to post.

I went to the MOI spin class this morning. Jeez. It kicks my butt. I did better this time. Since it is based on your heart rate, you work up and down to different percentages of your max heart rate. I am getting there, but I can't always make it up to the higher levels. I was talking to a friend of mine who is younger, very fit, actually has a degree in something fitness, and she told me that I wasn't working hard enough. Wth? But, I know she's right. While the class is killing me as it is, the point is to work really hard in it. So, I'll just keep pushing. I'm going to it again tomorrow and then I'm going to try to fit in a Body Flow (yoga/pilates/tai chi fitness class) right after to work on flexibility and strength. We'll see how it goes. :) In all honesty, I just really like how I'm feeling with these workouts, so I keep pushing for more. I know that looking at my weight, it may seem crazy that I could wear 18's, but I have always weighed more than people thought. And I think that now, my muscle tone is pretty good even though I still have lots of fat to lose, so I am hoping I weigh more than it looks like I do. Anyway, onward!

Uber: You asked this a while ago, but I wanted to tell you how much I like myfitnesspal. And the good thing is that Mandy is right, you could enter past info in it. That would be tedious, but I think myfitnesspal is really good. I also used to use FitDay, but this is much better. IMHO!

Mandy: Wow, just a beautiful house! How nice for you! And then, to have a nice loss on top of that, just makes it that much better. Soon, you'll be breaking into those 200's!! So exciting!

Jessica: Great job on the swimming! That is one thing that I just can't use for workouts. I am not that great of a swimmer. I can save myself, but that's about it.

LaurieDawn: Gosh, I know how you feel. When you put a lot of effort into something, you should be immediately rewarded with big losses! I've felt that too. In a way, if you don't let it frustrate you too much, it can be a good thing in that it can keep your goals ahead of you. Meaning, you're not satisfied with 6 pounds, so you keep striving for more. I know I was so anxious to be in the 240's, and now I just want out of them, into the 230's. You just have to keep it a positive motivator!

SunnyMac: Always a good thing to be able to grow your own food! I am so impressed!

Martini: Congrats on keeping on plan! That is smart to take it one day at a time! You are doing well!

martini
07-19-2014, 03:32 AM
I lost 9lb in my first two weeks on plan! Woo hoo!!

FeraFilia
07-19-2014, 12:11 PM
I lost 9lb in my first two weeks on plan! Woo hoo!!

:woohoo:

:carrot::carrot::carrot:

LaurieDawn
07-19-2014, 01:15 PM
Martini - Woot! Look at you go! So happy that you got great scale pay-off for your hard work. I would love to have you join my obnoxious trainer boy challenge. I am well on my way to sticking his obnoxiousness down his throat. It would be great to double that! I committed to 12 pounds in two months. But my ticker says 20 for two reason - 1. It's a mid-afternoon weigh-in, and my weight is only (relatively) predictable first thing in the morning, and I am not good at tracking my cycle, and my weight can vary by 7 pounds or more if I weigh on the wrong day. 2 - I needed a safe(r) required goal that I felt confident reaching, cuz I DON'T want to sign up - but I would love it if his eyes popped out by how well I am doing without him. Maybe you could do a 7/4 - 9/11 20-pound challenge to give yourself the head start of the 7-pound drop? Or a 7/19 - 9/11 20-pound challenge to really push yourself?

Uber - I love how much you understand this process. The first several weeks are always the hardest. And I have been experiencing the pain of disappointing my husband's "eat lots with me" expectations, the real hunger that goes along with the beginning of calorie restricting, and just the general sacrifice of giving up the pleasure of bingeing and indulging and making sure I have time for exercise. Thanks for understanding, and for reminding me that we both have made it through this with fantastic results. And a huge congratulations for making it through your mental struggle, without resorting to physical binges.

Sunny - LOVE reading about your garden and your homesteading and your politically inconsistent relationship. You are so inspiring. In so many ways.

Mandy - You are SO right about the scale, and I actually have done something similar to what you describe. I have stepped on the scale every time I passed it so I could observe how wildly it fluctuates. It was so good for me to see that. But the scale craziness still overtakes me sometimes, so I appreciate both the reminder that it does and the validation that it actually does happen. (Trainer boy told me that my scale fluctuation comments were just excuses.)

Jessica - You're just so, so cool. I love to envision you in your pool, or taking out the heavy pallets at Home Depot. I just went through a divorce recently (okay - separate four years ago, but still feels recent), so you're definitely a kindred spirit. I am so happy you're finding post-marital bliss and accomplishment, even if you still have some things to work out (like a second job).

Diane - You really are always a paragon of consistency and hard work. Thanks for the words of support and encouragement. It IS hard, and I am grateful to hear that it's even hard for you, who have achieved such great success for so long, both with the scale and with your exercise.

Today's gonna be a great day! The scale showed me some love this morning, and I feel like I'm gonna blow trainer boy away. I also ate a substantial (but low-cal) breakfast, in contrast to the small portion, higher cal foods I have been eating. Both work for losing weight, but the higher portions make me feel more satisfied and provide me greater nutritional punch, so I am glad to have had the ability to make that conflict-free choice this morning.

FeraFilia
07-19-2014, 01:16 PM
Sunny - Isn't it lovely? I might be picking your brain later, and would love the link to your blog! A friend of mine currently does as much sustainable living as she can, complete with raising chickens for eggs and meat, using the poo for garden fertilizer, a large garden, fruit trees, she's building a small green house, and is planning on taking up bee keeping soon! She also makes a lot of her own soaps and detergent and things. Aside from the bees (I have a bit of an allergy), it sounds wonderful.

Laurie - I hate that feeling! The "this is really hard, why don't I have my results NOW? I've been working on it constantly for DAYS!" feeling. There was a quote that used to float around 3FC. I'm not sure who said it but I remember it: "Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Pick your hard." It's a good one. You will get your brain on the right track eventually.

Diane - I want to be like you when I grow up :lol: I envy your determination to get to your various classes and your commitment to doing them. I'm still in the "I'm too fat to exercise in public" mind set, and feel like everyone would be laughing at the fat chick jiggling away and dying in a puddle of sweat in the corner. Maybe once we move I can find a fitness facility that offers those things. Though, out in the sticks where I'd be, the closest YMCA is almost a half hour away!

And for me - This morning I couldn't resist a scale visit, just because TOM is *finally* slowing down, and I can feel the bloat from TOM and travel fading away. Initially I got super excited when I stepped on because I saw 301.4... but then gave it a minute and stepped on a couple more times and saw 302.0 every time after that. Silly scale, getting me all excited. Not that 302 isn't great drop from yesterday... It means I've dropped over 3 pounds of water in 48 hours. I'LL TAKE THAT.

I don't know if I posted yesterday, but we've got our final visit up to Indiana on the calendar! :) Hubby will be preaching, and then we'll basically be 'guests of honor' at a potluck lunch after the worship service so the congregation members can meet us and chat with us a bit. And then they'll vote! The council president seems to believe it will just basically be a formality and things will continue without a hitch. The preaching and meet/greet will happen on August 3.

Council will be having a Skype conversation with hubby either tomorrow or Monday to discuss the compensation package and hash out the details.

:dance: :carrot: :cb: :dancer: :broc: :belly:

Excited about this! :D

ubergirl
07-19-2014, 01:24 PM
Martini: :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::c arrot: You Rock!

Diane: You are an exercising rock star! You must feel awesome-- even though it's hard, you are DOING IT!

Fera: Down with bloat? That is really something! Normally when I travel I gain water and it takes days to go down-- when you get unbloated you are going to see quite the whoosh!

Sunny: I definitely have that homesteading fantasy, too, although in my heart I know I'm too lazy to actually do it! Right now, my husband tends to our garden, and I prepare the food. You must have your hands full, with a long commute to boot. Not sure where you are, but I lived in Western MA for a couple of years, way back, and it was one of my favorite places--ever-- even though I'm a snow wimp.

Jessica: Hope those workouts are going well!

Mandy: So happy for you! This sounds like it will all work out, and it will feel so good to move into a new house and bring your new lifestyle with you!

So, as for me, I'm sorry to report that I am having MORE SCALE CRAZIES. Stepped on the scale this morning-- 261.4, meaning I lost the bump and dropped 1. 4:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:: carrot: I was so happy I stepped on the scale again, and then it showed 262. :mad: Kind of took the shine off... oh well! My first mini-goal was to hit 260 before I leave for vacation on August 6th, and I think I can make it. Can't wait to get out of the 260s!

garnetrising
07-19-2014, 05:06 PM
Diane: It's hard sometimes to know how difficult it is and how hard you're pushing yourself and to know that you should still be pushing harder. As long as you're not pushing to the point of over-exertion, you'll be okay. :)

Martini: That's awesome!

Laurie: I tend to eat small portion breakfasts myself. At most, they tend to come in at about 350-450 depending on whether or not I have a full serving of Greek yogurt. I'm so happy to have someone who can relate to what I'm going through.

Mandy: Oh, Mandy, that's so exciting! I can't wait to see where life takes the two of you. That's the exact reason I make a point of stepping on the scale at least three times and then taking the average. It's the only way I can feel comfortable about any loss.

Uber: Take that determination and run with it! You can lose another 1.4 lbs - 2 lbs, depending on how you look at it, before you leave for vacation.


So, here's something Laurie got me thinking about... I'll admit the working out is going a long way to helping me coping with all other stress and emotions I'm having to work through. I don't have any feelings toward my soon-to-be ex, but I do worry a lot about my future. I worry about where I'm going to be in five months, or how I'm going to get through even the next month. My health, my workouts, my food, it really is the one thing I have control over right now and I have to keep focusing on that. Putting in the time and energy there means I don't have the time or energy to make myself sick with stress and worry about things that - for the most part - are completely out of my control.

I once again was reminded of this weird reluctance I'm having to accept any success this time around. I stepped on the scale, fully dressed and saw 229.2 lbs. I was sure that had to be wrong. I shouldn't complain about being under 230 lbs, fully clothed, but it seemed impossible, so I did a proper weigh-in. I saw 226.6 lbs. I cringed. That's right, I recoiled at the possibility of having lost 1.4 lbs since Thursday. I don't know why I'm so anxious seeing the scale go down this time around. Every other time I've lost weight, I would have jumped for joy, this time... it's like it disturbs me. I did a quick tape check because the last thing I want is to lose pounds but stop losing inches. My muffin top is down about a half inch. Everything else is hovering about where they were on Tuesday. I guess I'll just have to keep pushing through for the next several days and see what it all looks like at my next official weigh-in.

ubergirl
07-19-2014, 05:42 PM
Quick My Fitness Pal question.

So, normally I log my food and I log the serving size-- but with MFP it gives me very few choices for serving sizes. Am I missing something? For example, on fit day, if I eat 5.1 oz of yogurt, I can put in 5.1 oz, but MFP only gives me the choices of 1 oz, 1 container, or 8 oz.

garnetrising
07-19-2014, 07:07 PM
Where you have the option of 1.0 of, say 1 oz, you would just have to put 5.1 servings of 1 oz of yogurt. :)

Slashnl
07-19-2014, 07:33 PM
Hi all! Well, made it through both workouts. The MOI spin class was so much better this time. I think that making it through the initial stuff and figuring it out was helpful. Of course, I say it was better, but still a very difficult class. I wouldn't want to do it everyday. The other spin classes are more fun, really, but the MOI is a heck of a workout. Then I went to Body Flow. It wasn't easy either, and I think I might have some soreness tomorrow, but it was better than I thought. I could do some things that I thought would be more difficult. I think it is just because I do have more strength than the last time I did it. But, I can definitely see where I need to get better with flexibility and balance. I'm happy that I started it. After the classes, I showered and then went to the grocery store. I'm not going to lie... by the time I got home, I was whipped. I just sat on the couch for about a half an hour. :) And, that's ok!

I hope everyone doesn't mind me going on and on about workouts. It really is the best part of all of this for me. But I hate to be a clanging gong, so to speak.

I have noticed that this time around I am a lot more positive and patient. Oh, I have my moments when I just get so tired of it, or ticked off if the scale is being stubborn, but overall I just feel better this time. I think that maybe age has helped mellow my attitude toward it. In a way, that's what made me happier about working out. At 50 years old, I really don't care if anyone said or thought anything about what I'm doing at the gym. I need to be healthier!!! I just can't let weight cause me to lose my choices as I get older. Anyway....

Uber: The other thing about MFP is that if you are not finding what you want, you can input the numbers yourself. There is also a feature, if you have a smart phone, for an app on your phone where you can actually scan the barcode, and it puts all the info in for you. I love that! And, most of the stuff from national restaurant chains are already in the list. Oh, and congrats on the weight loss! Yay!

Garnet: I can kind of understand that feeling about losing the weight. It sometimes feel like if I am too excited about it, then it will be taken away and I'll be right back where I started. It's just hard once you've regained to celebrate the losses. But good job! I'll celebrate your losses for you!!!!

Mandy: Awesome losses for you too! It's just a sign that things are going right for you! Soon you'll be moving to a wonderful new house and you'll be in the 200's!

LaurieDawn: So great for you on your losses. Oh and very smart to build in a cushion of weight loss pounds. Your killing it!!

Martini: What can I say? Your loss was so great!!!!! Good for you!!

martini
07-19-2014, 08:25 PM
LaurieDawn - I'm 100% down for the challenge, but I'm going to tweak it just a little bit. Since I didn't weigh in on 7/11 I'm going to split my loss over the past two weeks in (roughly) half and use that as my start point. With where I'm at right now, 20lb by 9/11 should be a terrific goal - high enough to motivate me to stay on track daily but low enough that I don't have to stress about it becoming a stumbling block. Game on trainer boy!

Mandy - You're almost into the 290s! That is super exciting!!

Uber - That's so cool that you stuck with it through all the ups and downs. The 250s are right around the corner and you have definitely earned it!

Jessica - I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to worrying about the future. Other people might find it a useful motivator, but I usually end up paralyzed when I start worrying. That creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts where my own fears create the future that I was so worried about experiencing. That way of living sucks. Big time.

There have been a few things that have helped me break through that pattern, but the one that came to mind when reading your post was the image of driving at night outside a city. When we drive at night and there aren't any streetlights, we can't see beyond our headlights. We don't freak out when that happens, though. We just trust that we can see the short distance that we need to see and the rest of the road will take care of itself. Before we know it, we're where we need to be.

When I start worrying I try to focus on what's immediately in front of me. Am I managing what I can manage and letting go of what's beyond my control? Am I doing the basic things that I need to do to stay physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy? If I answer "yes," it becomes easier to let go of the future because it will take care of itself. YMMV but that's what has worked for me. :)

Diane - Isn't getting older the biggest motivator? I'm about to turn 40 and accepting that what my body could get away with in my 20s isn't going to be what it can do in my 40s is a big reason I'm working so hard to stay focused.

ubergirl
07-19-2014, 11:23 PM
Where you have the option of 1.0 of, say 1 oz, you would just have to put 5.1 servings of 1 oz of yogurt. :)

Ok. Duh. I'm a little slow on the uptake.:dizzy: Thanks!

FeraFilia
07-20-2014, 02:30 PM
:dance:

301.4 today, and I got to keep it! :D

Plus, I was able to put on a pair of my size 22 jeans that I had to put aside for a while because I got too big for them. My 24s are falling down when I walk. :D

I'M NO LONGER LIMITED TO MY 2 PAIRS OF FAT PANTS! :woohoo:

Just needed to share.

I hope you all are having a fabulous Sunday!

garnetrising
07-20-2014, 03:18 PM
Diane: Oh, Diane, I know just how you feel about your workouts. I find that between swimming, walking, work, and my July Fitness challenge there are moments my body is just like meh. I felt like that this morning when I woke up. I just wanted to stay in bed and relax with my dog. So I did for a little bit and then I forced myself to get up and start the day.

Thank you for celebrating my loses for me even when I'm not sure about celebrating them. I think you hit the nail on the head about what it is that's causing me to be so reluctant about getting excited. I just wish I could squash the voice of inner doubt about everything right now. Breathe in, breathe out, am I right?

Martini: That's what I'm trying to do, Martini. Take it one day at a time and try not to worry about what's beyond the headlights. That's the hardest part, though.

Mandy: Congrats on the loss and the non-scale victory!


So, I've gone and added modified side planks (on your knee instead of holding your entire body up) to my list of things that I'm doing for my July Fitness challenge. All the swimming, working, walking, planks, and crunches are really making me feel it in my abs. I'm not complaining, it's an awesome feeling to feel like your stomach is burning. LOL. I think I'm going to take that feeling and run with it. I did manage to finally do 40 pushups total, 4 sets of 10, yesterday. It took me all day to get it done, but I still did it! Also, I went to do my first set of pushups - girly pushups, of course - this morning got to about the fifth one and then had to finish while getting my face licked by Luna. As soon as I finished, she went straight to her bowl to finish eating breakfast.

ubergirl
07-20-2014, 04:08 PM
Happy Sunday everyone!

Diane: You know, I STILL haven't started exercising, but your posts have got me thinking... for sure, the very best part of weight loss for me last time was how fit I got. I went from being unable to walk up steep hills to being able to run 4 miles. It was absolutely exhilarating... I'm really looking forward to getting back to fitness...and your posts do motivate me! Plus, working out gives you something positive to work on-- the hard thing about losing weight through diet is that it's all about what you're NOT doing...

Martini: Love the headlights image! And as for getting older, definitely, it's much easier for me to stay focused and be patient than it was when I was younger. I don't really care so much what people think about me, and honestly, I just don't need as much food as I once did.

Laurie: Hooray for excellent scale days!!

Mandy: Dropping a size, and getting out of fat pants!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this morning, I was smart and only stepped on the scale once: 261.6 :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::c arrot::carrot: 1.6 until I hit my first mini-goal and also his the 25 lb mark, and Tuesday will be 2 months on plan. I'm also planning to start exercising today. Should warn you that I do get a little obsessive about it. :carrot::carrot:

So ladies, I have a clothing dilemma. I'm going on vacation for two weeks in August. We are going to a family-style resort. It's not at all fancy but we do change for dinner at night. I could get away with non-worn polo shirts and capris... just not old tee-shirts and workout clothes. I gave a way every single stitch of big clothing when I lost the 110 lbs and I never really replaced my wardrobe. Since I work at home, I really have very few clothes-- I usually sit around in workout clothes and old tee shirts. I have a couple of go-to fat outfits, but they're both black. I hate to spend money on 2Xs and 3Xs. Thoughts?

FeraFilia
07-20-2014, 04:24 PM
Do you have a thin cardigan? You could throw that over a couple different colorful tank tops and dress it up with a chunky necklace or dangly earrings (or if your outfits are separates, you could use the black top open over colorful tanks, instead of a cardigan), or wear the black with a thin, colorful scarf knotted loosely.

Edit to add: cardigan + tank tops was my go-to on the way down last time. You can get away with a cardigan that's a size too big over a tank top that fits, or is a little too small!

ubergirl
07-20-2014, 04:43 PM
Hmm. I have a black cardigan, but it's wool. No black big shirt either. I used to have a black linen big shirt that I wore until it just got ENORMOUS. Sigh. I should have either kept my clothes or maintained my loss!!!!

martini
07-20-2014, 06:52 PM
Mandy - Goodbye fat pants!!

Uber - In those kinds of situations I turn to Goodwill and Walmart/Target/Kmart. Two pairs of capris and maybe three shirts shouldn't be all that expensive if you keep an eye out for sales.

The reason that I'm advocating getting at least a few things for your trip is that I'm coming to appreciate how important it is to take care of yourself as these things come up rather than waiting for some indeterminate point in the future or doing that "when I'm thin I'll..." Feeling good about how you look can have an impact on how you eat and can help keep that good momentum going. IMHO better to spend $100 on a few new clothes than months wondering why it is it was so hard to stay on plan during summer vacation.

I felt so ugly when I had lost 100lb the first time. Losing weight in my face aged it quite a bit and I felt like I had gone from my mid-20s to my late-30s overnight. I live in a part of the world where I can't buy clothes in any store so all of my pants and bras were held together by safety pins. I was swimming in fabric and felt like a hot mess. The reality probably wasn't so dire, but it still felt pretty bad.

This time around I'm doing a lot more for my face and body (treatments and lasers and all that). In part it's an effort to take better care of myself. In part it's a way of creating a mental buffer so that I don't start freaking out about the physical changes that I know will be coming down the road shortly.

Slashnl
07-20-2014, 07:19 PM
Just a quick check in tonight. I'm running out of weekend and I still have things to do!! Oh well. :)

Good news on losses today!! Great job everyone!!

garnetrising
07-21-2014, 02:48 AM
Uber: Congrats on both your loss and your upcoming 2 month anniversary of your lifestyle change! Every day that's past means you are one day closer to being where you're meant to be in life. Obsessive about your workouts? I can't wait to see you get started and join Diane and I in our already workout-obsessed world. :devil:

Martini: I'm in full agreement with you. You have to make an effort to reward yourself along the way down and what better way than to buy clothes that fit you properly and help you show off the changes? That being said, I really wish life circumstances allowed for that possibility for me right now. There are quite a few things - expensive things - that I would love to be able to own. But they're expensive and aren't practical within my life at the moment. I am regularly keeping an eye out for cheap - but cute - things at Walmart, Goodwill, and the like in the meantime. That being said, I did drop what little I had saved on a pricey but awesome bathing suit. With all the swimming I plan to do between now and winter, it is going to more than pay for itself. Not to mention it's the first suit in a long time that both holds the girls while I'm actively swimming and makes them look incredible. :D

Diane: Hope you manage to get things done!


Not much to say right now on my front. Aside from the fact that I'm a little scared of the scale right now. I didn't weigh this morning and, after having a very late dinner because of my schedule at work today (6pm-10pm with 45 mins of driving to and from), I decided to risk it. I saw as low as 224.4 lbs (and as high as 225.6 lbs). I didn't want to see that. I'm not as worked up about it as I thought I might be to see another such drop, but I think that's only because I keep telling myself that Tuesday's tape might prove that all these pounds are valid losses. I hope they do, anyway. As long as I can continue to maintain a better fat-to-muscle ratio this time around (I'm have the same inches now that I had previously when I was 15 lbs lighter) than I've had in the past, I'll be okay.

LaurieDawn
07-21-2014, 09:36 AM
So many great things going on for so many people. I read everything, but I'm not going to comment on much of it except to say Martini - excited to have you on board with my challenge. You're going down, Trainer Boy.

I continue to see progress, both in the number on the scale and the way my clothes are fitting. Quite happy about it.

However, another glitch on the homefront. I had restricted calories so that I could eat out with my husband yesterday afternoon, but he said he didn't want to eat out. It was about 5:30, and I had eaten very little that day, and I was really hungry. So, I happily made a big plate of egg whites (cuz it's a low-cal food, so I can eat it in volume), and he said, "Maybe the reason you have sleeping problems is because of your diet and your supplements." What? This is the man who tells his kids that they have to eat the "healthy stuff" - referring to their burgers or chicken nuggets and fries - before they eat dessert. My diet consists primarily of lean proteins (primarily egg whites, tuna, and chicken breast), oatmeal, raisin bran, a variety of fruits, and occasional vegetables. And, of course, occasional chocolate or ice cream. =) Can it be improved? Yup. But I am not okay with him, with his limited nutritional knowledge, looking up from his chocolate-covered pretzels and saying, without irony, that he's just trying to help by telling me how unappetizing and unnutricious my carefully-selected food choices are. And so the food detente appears to have passed.

Slashnl
07-21-2014, 12:01 PM
Hi all! Good news on the scale front for me. I am down 2.2 pounds this week, inching closer to a 50 pound total loss. Very happy! I had kind of hoped to get down to the 50 pound loss by Thursday, when I go to visit my parents... just because it is a cool number to say when they ask how much I've lost. But, that would be another 2.2 in the next few days. I'm not thinking that it will happen. So, I'm pretty happy with what I have right now. I'm concerned about the weekend because my mom is a fabulous cook. I told her to just make what she wants to make, but to not expect me to overfill my plate! So, we'll see how next Monday's weigh in turns out. I'm also a little sad that I'll be missing my Friday and Saturday workouts, but I'm trying to get over it and realize that sometimes, you just have to live!

LaurieDawn: Sorry to hear about the food comments again. It really should be off limits, but I wonder if he thinks he is helping. Shoot, you were all ready to go out to eat with him, so it isn't like you are restricting yourself all the time. Sorry for the frustration.

Garnet: I totally understand not wanting to spend the money on clothes right now. I am the same way. I think that even if I had unlimited funds, I just don't want to buy right now. I will probably need to soon, when it gets cooler. Good news on the scale for you!!

Have a great Monday everyone!

ubergirl
07-21-2014, 12:34 PM
Martini Yes, you know me better than I know myself. I will feel awful and fat if I don't have anything to wear on vacation, and the worse I feel, the worse I do. Hating myself is never a good incentive for me. Happiness is what helps me to lose weight. I did come up with an insight last time around which was that part of my whole eating problem was that food was my primary reward. I deprived myself of literally everything-- vacations, trips to the salon, manicures... joining a gym, anything that I might do for myself I had a tendency to push off as "not necessary."

Laurie I'm sure that the experience of working out your food styles with your hubby will be a work in progress. Maybe in a weird way, he is just trying to communicate to you that he loves you the way you are and doesn't expect you to lose weight.

Jessica Ugh. Scale woes! I get it. It makes no sense that the number can psych us out, but it surely does! You are smart to be measuring. When you're exercising a lot the scale does not reflect compacting!

Diane: Hope you had an awesome weekend. Eagerly awaiting the workout report! :-)

So, I'm fully on scale crazy. Up 1.4 this am. Two possibilities-- one is that I ate Japanese food again, meaning miso soup, meaning lots of sodium! The other possibility is that my scale battery is dying... I really can't handle a scale that doesn't weigh me exactly the same no matter how many times I step on it, and for the past few days, mine has been a bit wonky.

On the bright side, I think I'm actually almost done with my editing-- I've been working on this project for ages and it feels great to be almost done!

Arctic Mama
07-21-2014, 01:36 PM
Glad to see you all are still hanging in here! It's been a rough few weeks with medical issues and excessive amounts of business, but things are fine over here as well. It's still a daily struggle to reach for low carb instead of give into to higher carb junk, I miss the days it was effortless. But I'm prevailing, one choice at a time.

And 15 weeks pregnant - kid's the size of a navel orange now ;)

FeraFilia
07-21-2014, 01:46 PM
Jessica - It's great that you're using both the scale and the tape measure to keep an eye on your progress! Try to enjoy the quick losses now, while you've got them... because even though, logically, you know it's healthier to lose slower, you'll still wish for it to be quicker when it slows down.

Laurie - YAY scale and clothes progress! Boo husband regress. I don't know about your husband specifically, but in general, men aren't too good with subtle and tend to end up sticking their foot in their mouth. My husband once tried to tell me how to behave in front of his family, and it came out in such a way that it sounded like he was both embarrassed by me, and didn't trust me to behave properly... when in reality he was just trying to warn me that his family is much more conservative than my loud, obnoxious family (seriously, think 'chuch people' stereotype... compared to 'biker bar' stereotype, and there you have it). Men tend to be fixers. He is probably just suggesting a solution to a problem he thinks you have, especially if you've mentioned it as such previously. Maybe try telling him it's not a problem you need him to solve, that you need emotional support not a logical solution here, and that this is a topic he needs to stay away from -- other than the emotional support when you're frustrated with the ongoing process and/or having the expected stress reactions, because good intentions or not his comments are more hurtful than helpful.

Diane - You can say ALMOST or ABOUT 50 pounds! :P It sounds almost as awesome, plus you'll be there soon! And yes, try to enjoy life. I had that problem last time around. I wanted to be a hermit, and to avoid all the potential 'derailing' foods... and I think that is part of what set me up for failure. Successful maintainers know how to fit in a little indulgence now and again when it comes to celebrations, traveling, or social events without completely falling off track. So I'm trying to allow myself social events and celebratory events, the occasional dinner out, and noting my body's reactions to it so I can be prepared down the road. Practice for maintenance! :)

Uber - YAY for being almost finished with your project. Boo wonky scale! Sodium is such a pain, isn't it? Did you have the bump up the last time you ate out? I know I bumped up more than 3 pounds over my 3 day trip! But if it's fluctuating like crazy, maybe just change the batteries anyway.

And for me - The scale obsession continues. 300.8 today. SO SO SO close! I probably won't hit 299 for my mid-week "official" weigh in, but if I don't make it by Friday, I might cry!

Happy Monday y'all! :)

ubergirl
07-21-2014, 03:12 PM
Diane I get that you don't want to call it FIFTY until you've actually hit fifty- but I have to say that for the purposes of a parental visit, I think you're entitled to just smile a Mona Lisa smile and say FIFTY POUNDS:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

LaurieDawn
07-21-2014, 05:12 PM
Diane - Uber is SO right! You have lost 50 pounds in real person terms. And I bet, with all the exercise and strength training you do, you look like you've lost a lot more than that. Enjoy the parents, and enjoy showing them your accomplishment. It's huge! And well-earned.

Uber - Get yourself some new batteries, woman! That would make me crazy crazy. =) You know how the scale works, and you know the quality of information it gives you even on its most high-functioning days. But ain't no need to torture yourself further in lieu of a few dollars spent on batteries. I am also super curious about the author thing. Have you written books that I may have read?

Mandy - What are you planning to do to celebrate? The cross-over into Twoderville (not as cool as Onederland, but - eh...) is a huge step forward. And thanks for the good advice about the hubby. I also loved hearing about your barker bar family! The hubby honestly believes he's being helpful. But he has no clue about macro or micro nutrients, and is even more clueless about calories. He spouts off 30-year-old misinformation as though it's fact. I don't need or want his input, or quite frankly, even his support. I just need him to stop making it harder! It's kind of insulting, actually, that he genuinely believes he has a better handle on my health and food choices than I do. Dang it! =)

Taryl - You continue to be an inspiration. Maintaining is hard for anyone, but I've watched you do it through multiple pregnancies and babies. I'm sorry that you're currently struggling, but I know you're going to get this under control to the point where it's easy again. Or figure out a way to switch it up so it becomes easy again. Or just work through the hard. You'll do this, one way or another.

Jessica - I know exactly what you mean! I am so afraid that early success will equal later failure. Or an expectation that I need long-term success that looks the same as the early success in order to be satisfied. But maybe this is what you need, and deserve. With the financial struggles and the husband difficulties, maybe it's just hard to accept that good things are happening. But maybe this just signals the start of a new, easier, smoother period for you?

Martini - I thought I might post a picture of trainer boy so you (and I) could focus our "let's show him" vibes a bit better. But then, when I looked him up on FB to grab a pic, it felt too stalkish. I don't really have ill feelings toward him. He's young, has never struggled with weight, and is poorly-trained in nutrition. So Imma try to find and post a stock photo as a stand-in for Trainer Boy.

I'm in the honeymoon period of weight loss and loving it here! I have calorie-restricted long enough that I am bothered by hunger way less than I was before. TOM isn't due for another few weeks, so I'm not in the fiercely hungry time period yet. Scale's showing good results with some consistency. The gym is no longer an effort most days. Just part of my day. And I can be faced with a cookie and think, "That would probably taste good, but I would rather see scale progress than enjoy that cookie for 2-3 minutes." Gonna sit back and enjoy it, cuz it might last a day or a week or just a few hours. But the benefits from it will help motivate me during the really tough days. And I know those are coming too. =)

Monday! Yay, routine.

garnetrising
07-21-2014, 05:14 PM
Laurie: I hate when people make a judgement about the way I'm eating. Especially when, in many ways, it is hypocritical. I don't know why he would feel that your egg whites are in some way less healthy than the fast food he's fed the kids. I can understand if they are unappetizing to him. That's a personal preference thing, but they aren't unhealthy. I feel bad for eggs.... they can have a really bad rap. In reality, they are some of the healthiest quick and easy breakfasts (or meals) you can have. Especially if you decide to do an omelet or scramble and start throwing in every vegetable you have. :) Personally, 95% of my breakfasts are two eggs, usually scrambled with whatever veggies we happen to have on hand.

Diane: You are so close to hitting such a major achievement. Take pride in it. You might not be able to hit exactly 50 lbs down by this weekend, but, as Mandy pointed out, you can say about or almost 50 lbs and it will still have the same huge impact. While you won't be able to make it to your usual workouts, maybe you'll be able to squeeze in a walk or something to help off-set your workout withdrawal.

Uber: Yeah, it was an expense I struggled to justify but I finally told myself that a $1 tape measure was not going to break my budget and that it would go a very long way to reassuring me of my progress on this journey. My scale has a habit of fluctuating all the time. It's also pretty sensitive. When I do my official weigh-ins, I always end up taking it out into the garage so that I'm sure it's reading as accurately as possible.

Also, are you a fellow writer!? I'm currently working on writing the second draft to a manuscript I did during National Novel Writing Month in 2012. It's been a long process. I had to step away from the novel for over a year and it wasn't until March of this year - around the time I told him I wanted a divorce - that all the changes that needed to occur finally started to make sense. I have to admit the 2nd draft of The Becoming is a completely different animal than the original manuscript was but it is one I am utterly in love with. I was making some pretty regular progress on it there for a while but life has sort of taken over. I'm still doing a little about once a week or so, but I've also hit a part in the plot where the characters have veered from what my outline expected them to do. So, trying to readjust and figure out what needs to happen next. :D

Arctic Mama: Congrats on the baby and sometimes, it can be hard to make the right choices but it will always be worth it in the end. Keep up the hard work. :)

Mandy: I know, I know. That's why I come here and share because I know that you all understand the crazy that's going on in my head. And I know that with as big as I am - and was - it isn't unheard of for there to be weeks of large losses. Mentally, I think I'm just trying to keep myself expecting the worst and hoping for the best. But when you get the best, it just feels wrong. LOL. Tomorrow is my official weigh-in and, I'll be honest, I'm excited to see what everything looks like.

You are doing such an incredible job! I can't wait to see when you break into that 299 lbs threshold. Even if you do hit it by Friday you still might end up crying but it'll be tears of job from all of your hard work paying off. Keep it up, we're all rooting for you!



There's been this situation at work where, going into winter, hours are getting cut here and there. I've noticed a pattern - I seem to always be on the list of those getting cut down to 16 hours. This wouldn't be a problem if I lived in town, but I have a 30 mile drive, one way, to get to work. The girl I spoke of before keeps saying I should just work closer to my home - if I could, I would but you go where the jobs are. Anyway, I mentioned that I was going to have to talk to a manager because it's not fair that I'm always shorted the hours and we got into a huff because 1) she doesn't want it to effect her 20 hours, when she lives literally 2 minutes from work and 2) I indicated that if we do the same job, started the same time, and accomplish the same amount of work it is, strictly a fairness issue. Neither of us deserves the hours more if we are on equal footing.

I didn't say I was going to ask for more hours, I said I was going to see if on the weeks where I work 16 hours I can do it over 3 days instead of 4 so I can make up the money I lose by saving a little bit extra in gas. She ended up going home and posting something on her facebook about not caring about anyone outside of her family and I've since unfollowed her feed. The fact is that I don't need the negativity of someone like her in my life. It's just not worth it to me.

In happier news related to the hours, I did talk to a manager and explained my situation. The manager, who can sympathize because she also has quite a commute has stated that she'll talk to the store manager and see if she can't actually get me bumped back up to 20 hours per week if nothing else. Either way, here's to hoping my financial situation doesn't stay as terrifying as having to try and make $250 a paycheck cover both my gas and the amount of bills I have while trying to rebuild my life.

Laurie, again: That's it precisely. I know that's what it is. I've often said that I've gotten so used to things going wrong in my life that I feel like I'm always waiting for things to finally fall into place or completely fall apart. And even when things do look like they're going to fall into place, I still end up looking over my shoulder and around every corner expecting life to sucker-punch me in the gut and the other shoe to drop.

The honeymoon period is the best. It can also be the point that makes or breaks it for some people. I, like you, prefer to enjoy it while also embracing the realism that it isn't always going to be this easy. That's one of the reasons I like to have a variety of goals that I'm working toward. This month, I set a goal of trying to hit 55 total miles walked I'm already at 40.5 miles! Given that I bumped my daily walk with Luna up by .375 miles, it's not that surprising, really. I can't wait to see how many total miles I manage to eek out between now and August 1st. :D

I also decided to start adding modified side planks into my July Fitness Challenge. After two days of having really good results with the modified plank, I got curious and attempted the full side planks. I was able to hold it for five seconds on each side. It felt like such a huge accomplishment. I first did side planks in about 2011 and for the longest time, I wasn't able to hold myself up for more than, literally, a second or two. To have managed a full 5 seconds so soon was a great feeling.

LaurieDawn
07-22-2014, 09:35 AM
Jessica - Yahoo on the side planks! I love those fitness accomplishments so much. Now, I'm gonna have to see if I can even get into position to do a side plank. =) And I know it can be very difficult to believe that good things actually can happen, and even harder to actually trust those good things to continue happening, but I hope you can wrap your head around it enough to celebrate it. Cuz it is happening. You're becoming fitter. And thinner. And stronger. And working on your income issues. Without going into details, when my ex left me, it was the hardest period of my life to endure. The emotional and physical demands (like getting my kids food) were beyond overwhelming. And the depression threatened to swallow everything. So, it was often thinking to myself, "If I do this single task, my life will be marginally better. And a series of single tasks will make it even better. And if I string enough of these together, my life may become manageable again." It was hard, and I failed countless times at countless things, but my life is monumentally better now. And it will be for you. Look at you now compared to a month ago even.

I met a friend for "drinks" right after work yesterday. (I don't actually drink alcohol, and I hate diet soda, and didn't remotely want to trade a fleeting taste for huge calorie numbers, so I didn't want soda or juice, so I had water.) She suggested ordering nachos. I asked her what she thought about the raw veggie platter. And she was totally down with it! And those veggies tasted incredible, and I generally struggle to eat my veggies. Then, I met the husband at the gym. We usually do my lifting schedule. (I follow The New Rules of Lifting For Women.) But he suggested we try the circuit machines. I am a free weight snob, but agreed, and it was HARD. Good hard, and I am very sore today. Then, we went out to eat. I had saved almost all of my daily calories for that meal, so I ate relatively heartily. After a super low-cal day and a hard lifting session, I was almost shaky hungry, so it was a guilt-free, incredibly satisfying meal. Overall, a great, great day for my weight conscious soul.

Alas, I was scared to weigh this morning. Super sore muscles, a later-than-normal heavy meal, and a low-sleep night often spell disaster. But, surprisingly good news there as well. A new decade, and (very slightly) over halfway there on my trainer boy challenge. Feeling very good about things this morning. =)

Slashnl
07-22-2014, 12:10 PM
Hi all! Wow! I love this thread! I get so much out of what everyone is discussing.

LaurieDawn: I had noticed that you were in a new decade! So exciting! I don't know what it is about those decade changes, but they make you feel so happy! That's cool about working out like that and then having enough calorie deficit to enjoy a nice meal.

Garnet: Boy, can I relate to your work issues. I actually work full time, 8-5 hours, so it isn't a big issue for me. But, my son had to change jobs recently when he was driving our 20 miles into town, but then they'd cut him after a couple of hours. He found a place that he gets at least 5 hours per shift, so he can afford the gas that his old truck needs!

Uber: Yeah, I think you need a new battery. We all have enough scale issues as it is, we don't need to have electronic failure. :) By the way, workouts are good. I've finally embraced the MOI spin class. It is hard, but a good challenge. Then, I went to the Body Flow class on Saturday and that will be a good addition, adding the yoga moves and hopefully becoming stronger and more flexible.

Mandy: So, I think we are all holding our breath for you to get into the 290's! So exciting. And you are so right that we can follow our structure most of the time, but sometimes we need to just be mindful when we're travelling or visiting others. There are always going to be situations that we need to be able to get through without totally coming off track!

ArticMama: Hang in there! I think you are doing great!

Well, today is one of those challenge days. There are two birthdays in our office today. Normally we don't go overboard for birthdays, but for some reason, there are a few that feel the need today. So, there will be cake, and root beer floats. I'm determined not to have any. I don't think it will be too hard to turn down. It just doesn't seem worth the extra calories to me. I actually had a loss when I was on the scale this morning, so that will help motivate me to stay strong. Too close to a major goal to give in to sugar.

ubergirl
07-22-2014, 12:34 PM
Wow! Lots of good news on the thread!

Laurie: Congratulations on the new decade! And with all of the lifting you probably look great!

Jessica: Grrrr on the work issue. For the longest time, I worked part-time because of my kids, and my employer kept me at 23 hours a week, just because 24 would have qualified me for benefits. Finally, an awful boss jerked my schedule around so much that I'd have to come in twice a day, or for these weird partial shifts-- and I just got fed up. I'm so lucky to be self-employed now! I hate being jerked around.

Mandy: Seems like the Twos are just teasing you... but it will be a BIG CELEBRATION around here when you hit a new century!

Diane: Ugh-- nothing worse that the work celebration! But I'd say definitely not worth indulging. In my former office they used to have cake celebrations at 10 in the morning. Who wants cake at 10 in the morning? (well, if uber is being completely honest, I'd probably eat cake any time, but it's much easier for me to resist in the morning...)

Taryl: Glad to hear that the pregnancy is going well and that the craving monsters are staying at bay. Such a wonderful time in life!

So, as for me-- I finally moved my ticker down to 261. I'm still bouncing up and down 261.2, 261.4. I don't know if this happens to you guys, but this is definitely a "set point" weight for me. If I look at my weight chart over the last 5 years, I've spent more time right around 261 than at any other weight. So I figure that it's not surprising that I would stick here a bit. I'm hoping that I'll whoosh soon and go straight to 259! I've been really good about my food choices-- so it's just a matter of time (and I've decided that my scale battery is fine, it's just my head that's wonky! :-)

Jessica and Laurie-- I am indeed a writer. That being said, I try to keep my identity as a writer and my crazy dieter self completely separate-- that's why I never post pictures of myself, or use my real name. How embarrassing would it be if someone popped my name into google, and instead of finding stuff about my books, they found my weight, and how many times I had stripped down to my birthday suit to weigh myself everyday! :o

Arctic Mama
07-22-2014, 01:36 PM
New decades and whooshes for all! Woohoo! I'm in a new decade, too, but it wasn't the direction I wanted to go. This pregnancy has been SO tough for weight gain compared to the previous four. Oh well.

FeraFilia
07-22-2014, 02:11 PM
Helloooooo everyone! :)

Taryl - I missed your post yesterday, apologies! I was wondering how you've been doing. Happy to see you're sticking to your plan, even though it's tough. That's pretty admirable.

Laurie - Would you believe I don't really have a celebration for 299 in mind yet?! I'll get the regularly scheduled book for hitting a 10 pound mark, but nothing in mind for getting out of 300s. We're pretty broke until hubby gets a call, so I'm not sure what is cheap and not a food related thing. I was thinking maybe a new pair of *comfy* black dress shoes since I broke the heel of mine when we were in Indiana (they were REALLY old and rubber wedges - split right up the side). But since I have several other pairs of black dress shoes they aren't an immediate need. :shrug: no clue.

Jessica - Good luck on the work situation! Like Uber, I've also been stuck in a crappy part time, wonky hours job for the business to avoid having to pay out/pay for certain things. Part of me gets it, part of me resents it. I hope you are able to work things out in the most beneficial way for you.

Laurie - Water and veggies is definitely a better choice than soda/booze and nachos... at least, nutritionally speaking. :P Nachos are one of those foods I'm compelled to snack on until they disappear, especially if they've got a decent amount of cheese on them, and aren't incredibly spicy. And isn't it great to be able to go out and enjoy a meal and see that it won't necessarily derail your progress? It's a mental thing, I think, but all it takes is that one time to see that you CAN go out it won't mess you up to alleviate some of the stress attached to balancing socializing and weight loss.

Diane - Laurie avoided nachos, you're trying to avoid root beer floats... Those are one of my favorite desserts! I'm glad it's y'all having to avoid them, and not me... I don't know if I'd be able to do it. Nothing quite like a frosty, creamy root beer float in the middle of the summer heat. YUM. GOOD LUCK! :) I also use smaller numbers on the scale as motivation to stay away from the calorie laden foods that just won't fit. I try to plan around high-calorie events by eating 100-200 calories less in the days surrounding the event (3 before, 3 after, so my rolling 7 day average stays where it should be), and exercising a little more, then eating light before the event so I can indulge without much guilt or worry other than maybe a little water retention from extra carbs or salt.

Uber - It's so weird how certain weights just seem to be impossible to pass. I remember last time it was the upper 260s that got me for a while. Of course, that's probably because I hit 269 the day before my wedding, went on my honeymoon, came back and was 275, then couldn't seem to get back past 268 for a looong time. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a whoosh soon! :crossed:

and for me...

Well, no crazy celebrations yet. I don't get to announce a new decade, or even a new century today lol. Scale is being a TEASE and today I weighed in at 300.4. SO, I got to pass the 30 pound mark BUT I haven't hit the under-300 mark yet.

I'll have to be careful. I was so intent on hitting that 299.8 number that I had to eat a PBJ *after* dinner because I was only up to right at 1000 calories, and that's just way too low for me, even though my dinner felt massive it wasn't as many calories as I normally have (660, vs 900ish) We had chicken breast, cut into strips and seasoned with a home-made taco seasoning (muuuuch lower sodium), and cooked in garlic infused oil (which I used because I realized my calories were low), with sliced onion and green pepper, then put in a low carb/high fiber wrap with salsa and cheese. I even used extra cheese! 2 big wraps netted me 70g protein and 21g fiber. I was REALLY FULL so hubby and I went for a walk a little later. Dodged some rain drops and I had a PBJ and ice cream sandwich later so I finished my day at just over 1500, instead of barely over 1000, when my daily goal (if I don't exercise) is 1700.

FOOD IS NOT EVIL... even if I do want to see 299.8 on the scale. :)

LaurieDawn
07-22-2014, 02:34 PM
I'll have to be careful. I was so intent on hitting that 299.8 number that I had to eat a PBJ *after* dinner because I was only up to right at 1000 calories, and that's just way too low for me, even though my dinner felt massive it wasn't as many calories as I normally have (660, vs 900ish) We had chicken breast, cut into strips and seasoned with a home-made taco seasoning (muuuuch lower sodium), and cooked in garlic infused oil (which I used because I realized my calories were low), with sliced onion and green pepper, then put in a low carb/high fiber wrap with salsa and cheese. I even used extra cheese! 2 big wraps netted me 70g protein and 21g fiber. I was REALLY FULL so hubby and I went for a walk a little later. Dodged some rain drops and I had a PBJ and ice cream sandwich later so I finished my day at just over 1500, instead of barely over 1000, when my daily goal (if I don't exercise) is 1700.


I respect everyone's plan, and I respect that you are making great choices that are really working for you, so ignore my question if you prefer. But I am legitimately curious. And your dinner sounded A-MAZING, BTW.

Why is 1000 too low for a single day? Why eat calories that you don't want and don't need that aren't providing a lot of nutrition just to avoid a floor? I get that you want the average to be higher, and I know that it's hard to provide your body adequate nutrition at 1000 calories. I also know that some people believe in the starvation myth. But I just don't understand making yourself uncomfortable just to hit some sort of magical calorie floor every single day. There are times when it's hard not to go over, or where you choose to go over. Why can't occasional days under be part of the plan too? (On the other hand, if you just really wanted to enjoy a PBJ and ice cream sandwich, and loved being able to do it guilt-free, I totally get that!)

FeraFilia
07-22-2014, 02:44 PM
Laurie - A lot of times, you're right, one day of being low isn't a big deal. But I had to look at my *reasons* for being low. And I know myself well enough to know that the resulting drop after a super low day would somehow justify the low eating in my mind, resulting in a starve/binge cycle (I have a history of this). I didn't eat much through the day because I was thinking of food as the big, bad, evil and wanting to see the drop. I caught it, and so ate things to fit in my calories and macros (I was pretty low on carbs yesterday, so the bread -whole wheat- was the main reason for the sandwich, and the peanut butter was for the calories).

Also, I know myself well enough to know that if I didn't get enough calories in by the end of the day, I would have woken up mindlessly hungry and eaten accordingly. It was damage control, in a sense. Eat the calories in a controlled setting, even though I wasn't super hungry vs the potential for a mindless binge later because I was either REALLY hungry from not eating enough the day before OR from seeing the drop and eating lower than is healthy to see it drop faster.

I hope that answered your question. :)

LaurieDawn
07-22-2014, 03:02 PM
See? This is why weight loss is so personal, and why the most critical component (in my mind) for weight control (both losing and maintaining) is to know what works for each of us. Absolutely. Your reasons 100% make sense. Thanks for indulging my curiosity.

garnetrising
07-22-2014, 05:32 PM
Laurie: That's definitely the way to handle your trials in life, isn't it. I've been chronically depressed most of my life; I don't remember ever being really entirely happy as a child, even. So I'm taking great pride in the fact that I'm not in a giant hole of depression right now. I attribute part of it to my supplements and a huge part of it to my exercise and ability to realize that my marriage had to happen to make me as strong as I am today.

I was just thinking yesterday about how awesome a feeling it is when you hit that point of muscle fatigue after a workout. It can be one of the most satisfying feelings in the world to know that you have pushed yourself as hard as you possibly can. Congrats on the good news on the scale, by the way!

Diane: Keep strong in the face of the sweets. You are doing such a great job and while I have no problems with the occasional indulgence, if I'm going to eat cake, I'd rather it be cake that I made or bought so that I can be sure of just how many calories I'm consuming. Besides, if you make it yourself, you can use such a variety of vegetables in place of common ingredients that would beef up the calories that it's not even funny.

Uber: I'd like to potentially make enough from being a writer to make ends meet. And/or build a small client base for the company I get my supplements from. Right now, I don't really have the luxury of putting all of my eggs in those basket, though. That being said, I have already decided that as soon as I can reapply for student loans, I'll be enrolling in school again and go after a massage therapy degree. I've got a natural knack for it and it is something I greatly enjoy doing. Eventually, I trust that I will find myself in a situation where I can help people and live a life I love.

I can completely relate to your set point issue. In all my years, I've found that the 210-205 range is where I tend to stall at. I'm taking it a day at a time and hoping, desperately, that getting from 210 lbs down into Onederland will not be a huge, overwhelming, anxiety-ridden process. Trust that you will make it through your set point and promise me that when I get to mine you'll hit me upset the head if I start to panic. :D

I'd never thought about my weight experience getting crossed with my writer experience. I don't think that's something I'm going to have to worry about for a while. I still have a long way to go before my first manuscript is even close to being released to the public.

Taryl: It may be tough, but you are working hard to stick to your guns and stay healthy while bringing #5 into the world. That is all anyone can ask of you should take pride in your efforts. <3

Mandy: I don't know what to suggest... I don't have any plans for any of my goals reached at the moment. Aside from eventually getting to buy smaller pants because I can't go to work in something that's falling off, I really don't have the ability to justify anything else. Oddly enough, it's something I think I'm okay with for now. I do think I'm going to figure out some way to celebrate when I hit Onederland, though. It's too big of a goal for so many reasons to not celebrate it. Which means you need to figure something special out for Twoderville. Because it's too big a milestone to let it go uncelebrated in some way. As a fellow avid reader, I do suppose you could potentially allow yourself to get TWO books instead of one. A special edition hard cover maybe. :devil:

Mandy and Laurie: I think that's a fair question, Laurie. I think it's one of the things that frustrates me when people try to tell others you have to do this or that in order to achieve success. Like the people who make it seem like someone who isn't willing to cut out food groups some how doesn't have the willpower to succeed. I won't deny myself some sort of food group for the rest of my life. Doing it for a short time to achieve some sort of illusion of success is only going to blow up in my face in the long run. That's why I'm not doing it.

I'll admit that I, like Mandy, would have found something to eat to push me over 1000 calories. In many ways, the starvation myth is, in fact, a myth. In my case, however, it is an actuality. With my hypothyroidism, I know that if I'm not careful, my days will regularly drop too low and I will stop losing weight. More importantly, unless I'm consistently providing my body with good sources of nutrients and protein, all the working out I'm doing will be for naught. I've spent enough time tracking my calories over the years to know that while many may err on the side of too many, I have a terrible history of erring on the side of too few. So I do it to avoid potentially dangerous situations in regards to my individual body and metabolism.


I talked with one of the managers Sunday night, as did another of my co-workers. When we went in last night, she flagged us down and let us know that she'd talked with the store manager. Her stance is that the two most important groups of people in the store are the cashiers and freight and that with out the entire freight team working 20 hours a week there's just no way we'll be able to get everything down. Luckily, the store manager agreed and so myself and the two other people who'd been getting our hours cut to 16 per week have been bumped back up to a full 20 hours. Needless to say, I'm pretty pleased. :D

I'm also glad that I didn't let myself get excited about seeing 224.4 lbs yesterday. My official weigh-in today was 226.0 lbs. Down 34 lbs from my first official weigh-in on April 22nd and at least 10-20 lbs from my highest weight in December 2013. I didn't have a scale at the time, I borrowed one, and I can't remember exactly what the number was. I am so proud of how far I've come in that time. My mother gave me a t-shirt while I was down there that was so tight I was embarrassed to wear it. Now, I wear it regularly when I take Luna for her walks and it's so lose. I have a 2x-3x jacket that I got in November. It was the largest size they had and it barely zipped over my hips. I feel like I'm swimming in it now.

LisaMarie71
07-22-2014, 06:29 PM
Hi everyone! I posted in the introductions thread so I won't repeat everything, but I am definitely a regainer, so I'd love to join you guys in support and encouragement. 3FC was a huge part of my 110-pound loss 7 years ago. So here I am, two babies and a 120-pound gain later. I'm taking it sloooooow this time. I don't care how long it takes to lose the weight. I just want to run races again!

I look forward to getting to know everyone.

LotusMama
07-22-2014, 06:58 PM
Hello Everyone!

I went on my three-day weekend over a week ago. While I got some good exercise, my eating was off (and stayed that way for a couple of days after I returned). Vacations are always a struggle for me in terms of eating. I decided to weigh this week instead of weighing when I got back. I am down 4 pounds overall, so I feel good about that at least.

I have had internet problems at home so haven't been able to really check in here since my return from vacation, but am hoping that the problem gets fixed today, or at least in the next few days. In the meantime, I will check in from work, but not as frequently as I would like.

Welcome, LisaMarie. Glad you are here. Also, welcome to others who joined in the last 2 weeks. I look forward to getting to know you.

I am glad to be back!

Cheers,

LotusMama

FeraFilia
07-22-2014, 08:49 PM
Laurie - You are right. It's very different for everyone. And had it just been a busy day and I forgot to eat, then I might have let it go. But because earlier in the day I had actively avoided food when I was hungry because I knew a weigh in was coming, and I realized that I'd done that when I was preparing dinner... I decided to eat, and not allow that bad habit to take root. Happy to have indulged your curiosity. I don't mind answering a question when it's not posed in a OMG YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG type of insulting manner. :)

Jessica - YAY!! So glad you got your hours situation sorted out, and also that you saw a drop on the scale that you can be happy with, without reservation.

Hi Lisa! Welcome to our little group (though it seems to be getting bigger, I love our active group). You'll find lots of support and understanding here.

LotusMama - Welcome back! :)

garnetrising
07-22-2014, 10:07 PM
Lisa: I've had a great deal of success using 3FC for moral support in the past, too. I've only been a member of this little thread for maybe a week now, but I'm so happy it was the one I decided to join. The girls here are great and it's been lovely being able to share this journey with others who really understand what I'm going through, again.

LotusMama: I hope you had a wonderful vacation! Sorry to hear about your internet problems and I look forward to getting to know you, too.

Mandy: It is always best to nip potentially bad habits in the bud. Good job with that! I'm equally pleased that I feel comfortable with the loss. It's a good feeling to have.


So, two things. First, side planks are the devil. I love them, but they're the devil. Of course, I pushed to 10 seconds on each side today. Nailed it! Second, I hate when people think they know more about my workouts than I do. My brother, I love him, asks me how I'm doing my planks. I told him standard top-of-pushup form. He gets this look on his face like I'm crazy and then shows me pictures of the cross-fit style elbow plank and tries to tell me I'm doing it wrong. No, no I'm not. I tend to plank in yoga/Pilates style because those were the exercise methods I first learned to plank in. Additionally, I tend to find that my shoulders are weaker than my arms making it more challenging for me to hold TOPP planks vs elbow planks and I enjoy the challenge.

Eventually I'd like to get to a point where I can run through planks in circuit. Start on elbow, up to TOPP, roll to TOPP side planks, back to TOPP, down to elbow, go through elbow side planks, etc. What'd be really awesome is to get it added into a full-on smooth motion yoga cycle. Yeah, I'm waiting for those days to come. Hm... maybe that's what I'll work on for my August Fitness Challenge, building up to that.

LaurieDawn
07-23-2014, 10:14 AM
Lisa! So glad you decided to join us. You and Robin in particular were the two that I followed when I initially joined, and I remember asking you questions about running that allowed me to enjoy it as a form of exercise for the first time. It's harder with two babies, but you know how to do this, and I am excited to watch you succeed.

Jessica - I do elbow planks, and by the time I am done with my 90 seconds, almost every muscle on my body is shaking. I would be in awe of anyone who could do the plank circuit you describe.

Mandy - As always, I am impressed by your foresight. But can I say I am also impatient for your weight to drop below 300? Such a HUGE milestone. It's pretty great that you recognize that you need to focus on the big picture instead of immediate results, though. And it's totally working.

LotusMama - Good to see you back here. Wondered where you went, and hoped that you'd be back.

Diane - You said exactly what I was thinking. Having people go through this with me generates so many good ideas and thoughts I would never have considered. Side planks and thinking of food as my friend rather than enemy have been on my mind. Lisa's joining us helped me re-live my joy of discovering running. And you resisting the root beer floats while you barrel up to a huge milestone gives me someone to relate to as I struggle with work food. It's kind of awesome.

Uber - Those set points. No scientific data to support them (at least that I've seen), but such a common occurrence for people. I'm sorry you've smacked into one, but it will be so great to see you come through on the other side of it. And congratulations on the writing career. I have done freelance writing for a long time now, and have made a little bit of money from it, but it's wonderful to know someone who is succeeding at it.

Taryl - Staying on plan in the midst of constantly raging hormones and food cravings is tough. But you really do have your priorities straight. Baby first. Food plan second.

So, it seems like the husband has decided to lose weight with me. He won't admit it, but he's eating healthier food and smaller portions of it, and is exercising more frequently. And I don't like it at all. How stupid and selfish is that? He used to be a power lifter and has these amazing biceps and shoulders and back muscles. The only place he really carries any extra weight is his stomach and a bit in the hips. At most, he is 30 or 40 pounds overweight. With the amount of muscle he has, he will be able to make small adjustments and get the weight to come off much more quickly than I can, and he already has so much less to lose than I do. I don't want to be the fat girl with the buff guy, and I don't want to be in a competition I know I will lose. I especially don't want him to believe that he's losing faster than I am because he knows more about it than I do.

So, I am taking a deep breath. I do want him to be healthier. His healthier eating choices make things easier for me, and I enjoy hitting the gym with him. I am excited that his kids will receive the residual benefits from that. And I am telling my inner spoiled, selfish brat to just shut up. This is a good thing, and I will celebrate it as such.

Slashnl
07-23-2014, 12:10 PM
Hi all!

LaurieDawn: Yeah, I wouldn't be thrilled with my husband joining in a weight loss challenge with me. He wouldn't anyway because he doesn't have a problem with it. My husband has a very physical job, and he stays fit. Over the winter sometimes, he'll get a bit of a tummy but then he just cuts back some on sodas and desserts and it goes away. Whatever.

Garnet: Yep, one of my least favorite things is when someone tells you how wrong you are with what you are doing. It sounds like you're getting better and better with what you are doing with your planks, so good job!

LotusMama: Welcome back! Glad you are getting your computer issues fixed.

LisaMarie: Welcome! You'll like this group. Lots of support here!

Mandy: It's really hard when you're so close to a goal weight to be patient about it. And, maybe there doesn't have to be a special "treat" for making it to the "290's". But do celebrate with us. That is a great decade drop! Congrats on the 30 pound mark! Nice!!!

Uber: Made it through the office celebration. It actually wasn't all that tempting to me. The cake was German chocolate and that just isn't one of my big temptations.

Not too much going on here. I am ready to be done with work this week. I'm anxious to get out of town for a few days, so that's all I got on my mind! I went to spin class today. It was probably the first time that I really didn't enjoy it. She didn't follow a program, just kind of making it up along the way, using the music from one program and the style of the other one. Ugh. That was not successful. It felt like just a chore, riding and riding and riding. Oh well. They can't all be perfect workouts.

SunnyMac
07-23-2014, 12:37 PM
Hi All
Back again! Still need to get better about checking in every day...my days seem to just get away from me and then I read everything on my train commute and it's just such a pain to write an update from an iphone! ok so here goes while I try to back track as much as possible!

LaurieDawn - Take deep breaths. There are pros and cons to our partners doing things with us. My guy is not heavy, at 6'5" he weighs in at about 190 lbs (tall and lanky and somewhat squishy and not super buff toned). As much as it gets overwhelming being the CDO (chief domestic officer) and being in charge of feeding us I'm glad that he will eat everything that I cook without complaint and is on board with being partners in a healthy lifestyle however I HATE how easily he does things like say no to carbs and will instantly lose 5 lbs not even trying.

Garnetrising - I agree with you 100% that side planks are the devil. Even at my fittest it's one exercise I can never really do right. Stick with what you know and what you are being taught.

LotusMama - Vacations and travel in general is hard. You have to be able to live your life as well as a part of your plan so I say just be conscious and do the best you can. To come back from a vacation not all on plan and still be down 4lbs is awesome.

LisaMarie - WELCOME! This group is awesome!

Fera - you should do whatever works for you. You sound like you know your triggers and are doing your best to 'stay the course' It's a personal journey, do what is best for you for sure.

Uber - I have a weight too that I've spent more time around than any other one too....and it's the one I'm at right now and it's so hard trying to break through it. I'm similar to you regarding keeping your life separate - in my professional life I have a very public facing job and am 'easily searchable' so I tend to keep things separate. I debate when I get around to launching a blog I think I will use my real name but will probably avoid too many pictures of my face and probably wont be posting any comparison weight loss photos. My outline of what that blog will be is going to be more lifestyle focus with 'hey I lost weight' as a benefit and less here's a before and after shot of myself in my skivvies ... I don't need my clients, staff or business partners to ever see that! Also I live closer to Worcester and commute to downtown Boston every day...so if you lived up here you know the haul that can be... 1.5 hours each way of a driving/train/walking combo. I LOVE snow and winter and while I get a little weary of it come late January/February when those dark days start to weigh on you I would take a snowbank over humidity ANY day.

Ok I'm not sure how far back that takes me but it's getting difficult to backtrack further since my last post. So here is the update on me. 244. I'm sticking at 244. It's my 'stuck' weight that I need to get beyond so I'm setting a minim goal for 5lbs. I sooo just want to get under 240 and see a different middle number so I'm staying the course and will then take the next mini goal from there. I've been doing well for the most part with food and the gym. It's hot here again so I've been struggling a bit to get out of bed for my early morning workouts but on the flip side it's too hot to want to cook or eat so I'm staying pretty on track with calories....you know....save the absolutely necessary hot weather afternoon iced skim latte. It's been quiet at work and I don't have to travel again until mid August so my goal is to get below the 240 mark before I head to Toronto next month.

On the homestead front. Anyone that wants to pick my brain at any time is fine with me. I'm learning as I go. I did at least start a Weebly account so I can start to develop a blog. I've made it as far as registering. I am not good at catchy titles or tag lines (it's why I'm in sales and not marketing) so I'm open for suggestions while I sit here staring at a blank page. I want it to look nice and be good and since I could open the account and keep it free while I develop it and can pick my 'title' later I'm going to outline how to format it first and hope the name will come to me as I go.

Last weekend I went to the farm and picked 12.5lbs of blueberries... I think I figured out how to attach a photo to my post so I think it's thre. OMG they are just so good. I could eat blueberries all day. From that I got 4 pints of blueberry pie filling (which will get me through the holidays with ease since that is the only time of year I ever make pie), many jars of jam (which are also set for holiday gifts) as well as got a few pounds frozen for over winter use and a few trays dehydrating for over winter use (think throw in oatmeal). It took me all day but it was worth it. I also started canning some fresh fruit for over the winter...one of my jars broke and I'm not sure I packed the others full enough but hey, it's trial and error. I've got more squash and zucchini coming in than I can keep up with but unfortunately the groundhog got into my beans and ate them all so I'm waging war on the furry creature. I put a deposit on a half pig...yeah you heard me a half pig. We are going to do bulk buys for meat from local farms this year for the first time. Basically on the pig I'm paying a farmer to raise me a pig from a piglet (and send me updates if I want) that is all humane, naturally and organically raised etc. It will come fully butchered however we want it cut and we will be able to pick it up in February (the farm is just about an hour west of us so I'm hoping we won't have to pick up in a blizzard!). My parents are going to split it with us so we will probably have about 35-40lbs each which will last us a long time (in the deep freezer). We are trying to do the same for beef but I can't seem to get the farmer on the phone. Chickens are ongoing, I pick them up once a month until about October. Usually I'm trying to stock up for the winter but honestly I'm glad I've got a bit going on for the summer because my grocery store is on strike....I'm not sure how far in the media the 'Market Basket' strike in New England has made it but I'm in support of the employees and am holding ground with them and trying to shop elsewhere which means going way out of my way so unless I'm desperate for milk I'm not going. Anyway this is getting long winded so that's it for now. I will again try to get back here more regularly!!!!!!

ubergirl
07-23-2014, 01:09 PM
Oh my gosh, I just was in the middle of posting a long thread and suddenly the Internet ate it, so starting over.

Sunny: Those blueberries look divine, and your homesteading adventure is fascinating. That is definitely one of my big fantasies, although realistically DH, who grew up on a farm, would probably do ALL of the work, while I sat inside at the computer thinking about it. I am right there with you about being stuck at a certain weight. It is EASY to get discouraged and give at up points that make you feel like you are working so hard but haven't really gotten anywhere. I'm sure we'll both get there soon! It has to happen!

Laurie: I hear you about the DH. Mine hates sweets, never touches junk food, and happily eats my "diet meals" without complaint. In fact, I think he actually likes my "diet" cuisine better-- because I cook a lot of veggies and lean protein. He won't eat fatty stuff-- so my signature high calorie mac and cheese, for example, is something he doesn't like much. Sometimes I look at his plate and realize that he isn't eating any more than I am, and I feel bad, but in general, it's easier that way.

Diane: I'm intrigued with your tales of spin class. I've FINALLY finished the big project I was working on, and so today I start exercising! I've always been a solo exerciser-- weights, treadmill, and swimming, or walking or running outside. When I get back from vacation, I'm joining the gym, and I'm wondering if I should consider trying a class...it's mostly embarrassment and fear of buff other women that stops me, but also, I'm not particularly social and kind of enjoy working out alone...

LotusMama: Welcome back! I think that "pretty good" is good enough for a long weekend of travel. I agree that one of the most important things for all of us is to learn how to manage going in and out of our comfort zone without being derailed.

Jessica: Keep writing! I had to work and write for more than 10 years before I actually started making enough money to live on that income alone. And I know that I'm most likely one flop away from going back to the day job. I think most of the joy of writing comes from the work itself-- when $ comes it's an unexpected payoff!

Mandy: I'm right there with you on the "food is evil" and "less is more" front. I'm competitive and have a tendency to go to extremes, which is not helpful in dieting and does push me to binge. It's bad for me because I think I have a really slow metabolism and even when I tightly control my calories, I still lose really slowly.

Lisa: Welcome! I think I remember your name. I lost 110 in 2009-2010 and kept it off until 2012, but since then I have been cycling up and down the same 20 lbs without ever pushing back down. I'm finding this group super helpful for keeping me on track!

As for me? On the 261 trampoline, bouncing up and down from 261.2 to 261.4. Sigh. I'm hoping that one of these days I'll have a nice 2 lb whoosh and land at 259 without having to stop at 260 at all. I finished my big project and sent it off yesterday, and so now, and today I start exercising-- phase 2 of my plan.

garnetrising
07-23-2014, 04:17 PM
Laurie: I know, right? I'm working up to it. It might take a little while, but I have faith I might just get there eventually. Aw, Laurie, I can understand being a little frustrated about the thought that he's going to drop his weight faster than you will but just keep thinking of the positives. The fact is that it may take you longer to get there, but your journey has contributed in at least some ways to inspiring him to make some healthy changes, too. Embrace that. :D

Diane: Ugh. That sounds like it would have been frustrating for anybody. You're right, though. Sometimes even the best of us have a workout that just feels like a bust. Hold on, the weekend is coming soon and hopefully your next workout will feel more productive and successful.

Sunny: I am seriously in envy of your access to all of those delicious fruits, vegetables, and meats. Getting hung up at a plateau is always difficult, especially when it's one you get hung up on often. Hang in there, stay the course, and you'll break through.

Uber: I've known I wanted to be an author since I was six. I've always been aware that big fame is rare and, generally, writing is just like any other day job. And I'm okay with that. The biggest obstacle for me and my writing is my struggle to produce perfection. I would get so terrified that I wasn't doing a concept justice that I'd find myself frozen in fear. Starting NaNoWriMo back in 2006 or 2007 has done wonders to help me overcome that, but it can still be debilitating on occasion.

One of these mornings you're gonna wake up and break through that bouncy 261 lb barrier. And when you do, we'll all be right here ready to cheer for your success. :D


As for me...
Saw 225.2 lbs on the scale again this morning. Not gonna record it officially, but itís nice to just put it on the unofficial record. Did twenty modified pushups all in one go this morning. My shoulders and chest are a bit sore this morning from all the workouts, but the pain will be worth it in the end.

Additionally, woke up to pouring rain. Iím not sure exactly when I might get a chance to take Luna for her walk, but Iíve got to make sure that I get it in. Even if I have to only do a single little loop. She needs her walk. I need the walk. I use the walk to work through things and to clear my mind and I feel like I'm going to need that today.

LotusMama
07-23-2014, 05:49 PM
Thanks everyone for welcoming me back. I find everyone's insights to be so helpful. This is such a good group. 3FC was such a big part of my weight loss journey before because of the support I found in the forums.

Jessica--great progress with both your weight loss and your exercise!

Sunny--I love blueberries as well. Looks like you had a great crop of them!

Uber--here's hoping for that 2 pound whoosh soon.

I think that the internet issues may have resolved themselves today (finally) after a lot of headache and expense.

I have been walking about 4 miles a day for the last few days. When I lost weight before, walking was a big part of my early success. It is hard to get motivated, but once I start, I actually like it.

Hope everyone is having a good day!

LisaMarie71
07-23-2014, 08:59 PM
LotusMama - Thanks for the welcome! And welcome back to you from vacation and internet problems! I always have internet problems because I live in the boonies.

FeraFilia - Thanks for welcoming me!

garnetrising - Glad to hear you've had success with 3FC too, and I'm glad to hear this thread is great! It certainly seems to be so far. I can't even imagine getting in a side plank at this point, by the way. I'm telling you, childbirth was not kind to my body. I'm all kinds of messed up!

Laurie - I remember Robin too! Is she still around? She and I were going through our journeys at around the same time. Don't get me started on the husband thing. Mine is rail thin but muscular and has never had an ounce of fat on his body. He's a runner and he's super speedy. I've had many people make snide remarks about why he's with me, since he's better looking than I am. Nice, huh? That was one thing that annoyed me when I lost all that weight and coached with him before. It was like people thought I finally "deserved" him. Ugh. Luckily he loves me no matter what and has NEVER said anything about my size in 21 years of marriage and lots of ups and downs (mostly ups)!

Slashnl - I think I remember your name from before. Have you been around for a while? I could be wrong!

Sunnymac - we were going to pick blueberries Friday on a playdate with some of my son's friends, but we're thinking it's too far to drive. I LOVE blueberries, though! I'm jealous of all those you picked!

ubergirl - thanks for the welcome! I'm glad to be back!

I've done well today and yesterday. Got on the treadmill for 30 minutes both days and even managed to run very slowly for a couple of minutes today. My knee is screwy so I can't do too much yet at this weight. As for eating, I'm still eating a LOT more than I probably should, but I plan to take it really slowly this time and not put much pressure on myself. The first step for me is just being aware of what's going in my mouth. For ages now, I've just shoveled it in without thinking. Plus, my 5-month-old baby nurses constantly, and nursing makes me completely ravenous. That whole nursing-makes-you-lose-weight thing is BS.

martini
07-23-2014, 09:02 PM
Hello everyone! I just wanted to pop in and say how happy I am to see how well everyone is doing! Mandy... I can't wait until you're in the 200s! Uber... I am so excited about you getting under 260 (sigh... at some indeterminate point in the not-so-distant future because I know it feels like forever).

LotusMama
07-23-2014, 10:12 PM
Lisa, I also remember Robin. I always appreciated her wisdom and insight.

A lot of good and smart people here, past and present.

ajonas1
07-23-2014, 10:12 PM
Hey all, I am sort of new to this. Or rather, I have been contemplating posting for a while. Sorry in advance for the length of my ramble!!!

I am struggling, my mind is really all over the place, and I've been reading all of these statistics recently (after regaining a ton of weight) and the long term implications of the difficulty of keeping weight off, and it frightens me. A lot. I have looked into surgery, but my doctor has strongly advised me against it, as I am too young and she worries about me having to deal with long term complications for the rest of my life. As of now, surgery isn't for me...but I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel so I don't give up trying on my own.

I started this journey at 327 at the age of 22. I worked my butt off for a year, lost weight and halted at 260. I was going to the gym, eating the best I ever had and felt great, and excited, and beautiful...all of these positive things, and encouragement from others, but I just couldn't keep it up, I don't know what happened. I have gained back 30+ pounds in the last 4 months. It is upsetting, (that last 20 pound gain happened in less than a MONTH) after I had plateaued at 260 for 6 months and don't know why the sudden leap, my eating habits have been consistently mediocre....I need to find a balance that works long term. I have started buckling down (at least for eating), and haven't seen results after a few weeks. I'm bummed out to say the least.

I feel guilty, ashamed, and feel like I will never hit my goal. I just need some encouragement! I want to *start* the rest of my life and put this war behind me. I feel like I am wasting time, which I know is kind of silly...ugh. My body is a mess and I am already dreaming of plastic surgery just to look like a normal 20-someting. Any advice? Any Chicagoans part of a support group they like, or a gym? Any folks with tips for long term success, as in setting up a reasonable 'balance'? I know I simply can't deal with eating rabbit food for the rest of my life, or going to the gym 6 times a week...I am trying to find a regime that I can actually hold onto. I am prepared to work hard but at the moment I am a part-time student and working 2 jobs.

Thanks for tuning in, I look forward to being a part of this forum.

ubergirl
07-24-2014, 12:18 AM
Hi ajonas and welcome to our little group!

I just want to say that if you are looking for a place where people understand exactly what you mean, you have come to the right place! I totally relate to the idea of "I don't know what happened, I just got sick of it..." That same thing happened to me. I lost 110 lbs, and took up running, and it was all awesome and then one day, and I still remember that day crystal clear, I thought, I'm tired, why do I have to run..." I was sick of it, and I stopped. I also followed a plan-- weight loss and then maintenance for almost 3 straight years, then I just got sick of it and stopped.

I am definitely trying to find some kind of balance here. And I totally understand being marooned in the 260s. That is where I live!

Stick around. There are a lot of good ideas here.

LotusMama
07-24-2014, 01:30 AM
Hi, ajonas--

Welcome! Uber is right: this is a place where people understand what you are experiencing. I lost a little more than 50 pounds 4 years ago and was within shooting distance of my goal.... I had never had that sort of weight loss success before. Four years later, I am here after having gained the 50 pounds back plus and extra 20. It is hard to come to terms with that.

You have taken an important step, I think, in coming here for support. I am glad you are here.

ubergirl
07-24-2014, 12:35 PM
LisaMarie: the whole BF makes you lose weight is in fact a myth-- body strategically holds onto fat while you're nursing! That being said, it does rev up your metabolism, so you can eat more and hopefully lose a bit, but there have been a bunch of studies showing that you will stubbornly hold onto the last few pounds while nursing-- fortunately, it will usually let go of the first few pounds!

Jessica: you are doing so awesome!

Martini: Hi!!!

I think I'm caught up with the rest of you guys! Such a nice sized group now!


So chickies, I think I'm in the middle of my first real "test" since going back on plan.

1. I'm obviously at little mini-plateau. Stuck here at 261.2.

2. I'm having some horrible stress in my life. My dad is refusing his caregiver and I had to let her go. He fell a couple of weeks ago and was totally immobilized, but now he's able to walk around again, so he thinks he's "fine". So last night he had a huge temper fit and started screaming. I had already made dinner, but I thought it would be better to get out of the house for a little while, so I wrapped up my very nice dinner of swordfish and tomato feta salad and we went out to dinner. We went to a burger place that my little one loves-- it's the place where there is really nothing healthy on the menu. I picked the turkey burger because I knew it had 950 calories and I didn't know how much anything else had. Skipped the fries , scraped the mayo off the bun, and cut it in half, but ended up eating the whole thing.

Here's the thing. I could feel my stomach churning from stress and it was a EAT MORE TO RELIEVE STRESS situation. And even though I didn't actually go off plan, I was trying to find a happy medium-- because I could have gotten something like a chicken caesar, dressing on the side, no avocado, no croutons... and it wouldn't have had 950 calories. Or I could have left part on the plate. And of course I was frustrated because the dinner I left behind at home was healthier and certainly more delicious and had fewer calories (we'll eat it today.)

That being said, my total for the day was 1400 (I try to stay under 1300, so it wasn't a big disaster...)

Of course, this morning, I'm still sitting at 261.2. I KNOW myself and stalling out on the scale and seriously upping my stress is the exact toxic combo that often brings me down.

So, I'm trying to strike a good balance here-- managing stress, watching my calories but not being completely crazy, and knowing that the scale HAS to move. I can't weigh 261.1 forever.

Thanks for listening. I REALLY appreciate the support here and I feel like knowing you guys are out there helps me stay strong.

FeraFilia
07-24-2014, 01:12 PM
Hey everyone...

I want y'all to know I read all of your posts yesterday, and this morning. I didn't post yesterday, and probably won't post much today or the coming days because for some reason I'm just in a really negative/pessimistic mood. That's not normal for me, and the fact that I know it's happening and I can't seem to snap out of it is bothering me and making it worse. And making it extra confusing is there isn't really an event that triggered it. It's like I was rolling along my normal happy, slightly optimistic side of reality self and then a switch was flipped and I'm pretty much apathetic about everything, and nothing matters.

It's making it difficult to stay on plan (but I have! so small victory, even if yesterday was a little carb/sodium heavy compared to normal), and I know it's still sitting here fogging my brain, because today is a pretty big deal in my progress. 75 days since recommitting, 31 pounds gone, so I finally got under 300, and hit 299.6 today... And my general reaction was "Who cares? I'm still fat."

Yesterday I was able to wear a pair of shorts I bought on sale before my re-start thinking they'd be good for summer, since they are generic black cargo shorts. They didn't fit. Super tight in the hips and lower tummy, and I couldn't button them very easily. Yesterday I wore them comfortably, so I KNOW something is moving.

I don't know if this mood is food boredom/weight loss burn out/whatever related, or if I'm just having some weird lack-of-sleep moodiness... but it sucks.

I'm going to refrain from commenting on individual situations until this mood passes so I don't accidentally say something that could have a negative impact. But know that I'm keeping up with your progresses and struggles and hoping for the best for you guys.

Hoping I can get out of this funk soon. :-\

SunnyMac
07-24-2014, 02:12 PM
Phew I made it here .... consistantly.... 2 days in a row! I remember Robin too... from way back (those days I had a different name... I have no idea what it was)

Ajonas welcome to our little world. I always think it's better to not read statistics (or in my case things like webMD cause I just freak myself out). A statistic is just that, a number and you my friend are a human being. Just take it little by little by little, one step at a time. I think there are many things to find on this journey...why we eat, why we do or don't give up etc. I honestly believe we need to find healthy activities and foods we enjoy and understand the root of our habits to truly lose and maintain. I don't claim to be an expert by any means....last I checked I'm still working on myself.

I'll share some back story with you - actually none of this I've shared with the group yet....but it's my back history with weight. When I was in early high school I convinced my parents that I needed to go to fat camp and they sent me. I spent a summer there, lost maybe 40lbs in under 8 weeks, learned absolutely nothing, came home, gained it all back and kept gaining. I hovered around 180 through highschool...high for my height and bigger than the other girls but not extremely obese...but that was not how I saw myself. I saw myself as obese but didn't know how to eat, where to start, didn't see a problem with blowing off things like gym (this was before the internet had really taken hold) so I kept going as I had been. I put on about 40lbs in my first 3 years of college ballooning me up to 220 by the time I was 21 between drinking, not eating healthy, not sleeping, being an overachieving partier, not exercising and going through several bad relationships. Then I took a study abroad trip...not a normal one....this trip required me to travel on foot. I walked 1600 miles through 7 countries over the course of 4 months (with a group). It was the most mentally and physically taxing experience of my life and was a turning point where something actually taught me a lesson. I went into it out of shape with no real advance training and through months of quite literally blood, sweat and tears by the end of the 4th month I could run over 2 alpine passes a day. There was no calorie counting...we ate what we could when we could and that was that....which was fine because we were probably burning 10k calories a day. I didn't realize how fit I was until I came home...4 months with no new clothes or fitting clothes or mirrors makes a big difference. I had been through a slew of emotions on that trip but learned more about myself and 'why I am the way I am' than I ever had before but still...it wasn't enough. When I got home...my senior prom dress was baggy on me. I was back down around 180 and ripped and feeling great... but again the weight loss was an added bonus not the goal and despite what shape I was in and how happy I was I came home and immediately fell back into old ways. I graduated college, got a waitressing job (where we ate lots of bad food and went out drinking after work almost every night), then piled on the stress of grad school, then got a real job and before i knew it I was 28, through school, 4 years deep with my job, seeing 30 hovering in the distance and tipping the scales at 265... what had I learned...nothing. It was then that I committed, in step my first time with 3FC. I started reading about food, calories, counting, exercising etc. I got myself down to 201lbs and was feeling awesome yet terrified of Onederland in the future...so what did I do? Did I learn from this? No. I went out and got myself into a bad relationship, stayed in it for 2 years, gained back every single pound until I finally ended the relationship...damage done. There I was, 30, single, fat.... AGAIN, miserable, drinking heavily and for a while, well, I just stopped caring. Now I'm back...recommitting again only this time with new perspective and a slower metabolism. I'm a little older and wiser and looking back I can see why I was never successful. I can see that while i was counting calories and losing pounds I was never learning about how to manage stress, stay out of bad relationships, giving in to my tendency to drink and eat to cope, dealing poorly with taking care of sick parents, eating to deal with my financial situation (at the time I had nearly 70k in student loans and credit cards that I had been using to put myself through school and a car that was about to burst into flames at any minute) and honestly what made me feel better....a great big BOX of pasta..not a bowl, a box.

This time about I'm at the point where I have moments of 'if I only knew then what I knew now' and then I stop and forgive myself and realize if I had to go back and do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing. I know that I had to walk this road the hard way to get where I am now, to truly understand myself so I can get to healthy the right way. The past is the past, 34 is my year and I am a work in progress. There will be good days and bad days, milestones and setbacks but I will never give up. For you coming here is a milestone and starting so early to consciously change your life is amazing. You will find a good support system here, lots of great advise and comradery with people who truly understand how you feel and where you are coming from. Stick with it, don't be afraid of the future...figure out why you are afraid of the future and work on it along with finding the right eating and exercise plan that can truly be a long term lifestyle change.

Uber: Sounds like you got a lot going on and have a lot of stress right now. Taking care of family is one of the hardest things to do in life. Stay the course, take many deep breaths and do the best you can. Just being conscious though times like these is important.

Fera: Sometimes you just gotta be in a funk... it's going to happen on this road. I've had several. This to shall pass and I'm sending you all my good ju ju for it to pass for you quickly. You are doing amazing.

Ok - for me today I'm on plan. I was up .8lbs this morning which is NOT the right direction so I sucked it up and got myself to the gym. My food has been spot on today. I'm at 66% of my steps for the day already and I'm feeling good. My office is weighing on me a little.... think attic cave with no windows in the summer.... I feel I am wilting without sunlight. I'm going to try to get outside for a few minutes before my 2:30pm meeting. On the homestead front, I finally connected with the farmer and got the beef ordered and that is about it because it's been too bloody hot to do anything else. It's been too hot to cook (no ac outside the bedroom that does any good) so I am NOT putting on the oven which has left me eating cereal for dinner. I need to get out of that loop and also I realized I need to update my ticker! That's it for now - I hope everyone has an awesome afternoon!!!

Slashnl
07-24-2014, 02:21 PM
Hi all!

Wow, how do I catch up with all the great posts!? So fun!

Mandy: I'm sorry... It really sux to be in a mood like that! But, I'm glad you are staying on plan. Hopefully, given some time, you'll be able to work through it and come back out on the other end, back to your positive self! Congrats on the under 300! That's a great accomplishment!

Uber: Wow. That's some heavy duty stress you are dealing with right now. It is difficult to deal with health issues with a parent. Don't beat yourself up on being stalled for a while. You'll break through before too long! As for working out in a class, I think it is great to have someone help push you along. I am not good a pushing myself, but I do much better with someone telling me the program and then I just concentrate on getting better each time. This time around I decided I just didn't care what anyone thought about how I looked at the gym. I knew I needed to help myself and that's all I concentrated on.

Ajonas: Welcome! You've found a great place to land. Lots of support here. You can do it!! Just one day at a time!

LisaMarie: Yep, I've been here a while. I'm a slow learner. Ha! I think I remember your name too! We'll get this figured out yet!!

Garnet: Congrats on the new low number! Woo hoo!

SunnyMac: Nice blueberries! I can just imagine how good they taste!

As for me, it's a really good day! I am .2 pounds away from being 50 pounds down! So, I'm claiming it for today. It may not be that on Monday, and I'll change it to whatever it is at that time, but for today.... almost 50! I haven't been this low in at least 10 years. Very happy.

Now, I'm on my way to visit my parents for the weekend. That could be dangerous for my weight loss efforts, but I'm planning on having a nice, relaxing weekend! I'm ok with a couple of workouts missed and having someone else do the cooking! Anyway, I may not be posting until Sunday or Monday, so hope everyone has a good weekend!

Slashnl
07-24-2014, 02:27 PM
SunnyMac: I was posting about the same time you were. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story! You're really doing well, turning things around!!

LotusMama
07-24-2014, 02:56 PM
Some really great posts here.

Sunny--thanks for sharing your story. I think your perspective is similar to mine. I have to figure out how to manage the things that derail me (mainly stress) in order to stop the lose/gain cycle. I also agree that it is important to forgive yourself. Personally, I would not be able to move forward with my commitment to lose weight if I couldn't finally forgive myself. I am also a strong believer in the notion that everything you have done before has benefitted you and taught you something. I am trying to incorporate all that I have learned from my previous successes and failures so that the experienes can still be of value to my present situation.

Uber--sorry that you have hit a plateau and that it is adding to the stress in your life. Plateaus really challenge your mental grit. I know you will outlast this one and move past the 260s. Your approach of balance is exactly right (and can you remind me of the same when I experience plateaus, please?).

Fera--sorry that you are in a bad mood. I hope that the black clouds clear away soon. Congrats on getting under 300, though; that is a big milestone! And, also it is great that the shorts fit! I love it when that happens.

LotusMama
07-24-2014, 02:58 PM
Slashnl--I didn't see your message until after I just posted mine. Congrats on being so close to losing 50 pounds! What a great accomplishment!

ubergirl
07-24-2014, 05:22 PM
Diane: I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! Fifty pounds of releasing is just a huge achievement. Have fun with your parents. They will be so impressed!

Sunny: Thanks for sharing your post! I'm really glad that at age 34 you are getting your act together. I would have saved myself a lot of pain, heartache, and frustration if I had learned to cope with all that you mention when I was that age. And I completely agree with you: for many of us, learning how to eat right really isn't the problem. The problem is learning new coping behaviors. It is a very deep process. i'm a lot older than you and I haven't fully figured it out yet, although I'm better.

Mandy: HUGS.:hug::hug::hug: We all have days like that. Nothing worse than the dreaded "who cares..." See you back and perky soon!

Am feeling a bit better. I may be a little stuck, but I haven't done anything to derail my plans. Still on plan. I WILL NOT WEIGH 261.2 forever. It's against the law of thermodynamics. :D

garnetrising
07-24-2014, 06:05 PM
Lotus: Thanks! Awesome job with your own walking. I'm the same way with exercise. If I fall out of the habit of being active, that first step seems so hard, even though I know how much I love being active. :)

Lisa: I was pretty surprised, myself, that I was able to get into a full side plank form. Taking it slow and steady is definitely the way to go to insure success without putting undo pressure on your body.

Martini: We all hope you're doing well, too. :)

AJonas1: Welcome to our corner of 3FC. All of us here know just what you're going through. I know what it feels like to be ashamed about putting weight back on. I've done it two or three times now. I've never been below 200 lbs, but this time it will happen. It'll happen because I'm in a place mentally and emotionally that gives me the freedom and the strength to succeed in the long term. And if a emotional mess such as myself can do it, so can you.

Here is what I suggest as a means of easy back into things - be aware, this has worked for me, but YMMV. The first thing to do is be honest with yourself. Admit where your difficulties lie, once you do, you can start a plan of action to change them. I always suggest that anyone just starting out track their calories (including the nutrients) at least for a week or two. A lot of people are turned off by the idea, but it is one of the best ways to get an idea of what you're putting into your body and in what quantities. Once you know where you are now, then you can start adjusting your food to see what works best for you. Start small! Never tell yourself you have to make all the changes at once; it is overwhelming to do so. Set realistic and modest goals. When you exceed those goals, be proud, but don't expect drastic changes every week.

Try and add some form of exercise back in as soon as possible. Even a small walk can have incredible results. Be sure you're drinking enough water. A good rule of thumb is to drink half your weight in ounces a day. Make sure that you are addressing all aspects of your health, not just your weight and physical well-being. You'd be amazed at how much easier your journey can be when you are taking care to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally healthy, too. Probably the most important piece of advice I think I can give you is to embrace this not as a diet but as a lifestyle change. Diets come and go, usually with disastrous weight rebounds, but a lifestyle change - that can be forever. If you can't eat like a rabbit forever, than don't eat like a rabbit to lose weight. Find what works for you, what you can live with and go from there. I like my carbs, my starches, my chocolate, my full-fat cheeses. If I had to cut out the things I love, I would be setting myself up for failure. So I don't cut them out. I don't have cheat days because cheating would imply that I'm doing something wrong. ... Oh, and invest in a tape measure. When the scale isn't moving, you may find that you can take some comfort in seeing the tape measure shrink.

The point is, you can do this. We'll help you.

Uber: I'm so sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. And I'm sorry you had to skip on the delicious dinner last night and about all the stress you're going through in general right now. I wish there was something I could do to help but I think the best thing I can do is give you a great big virtual hug. :hug: I don't know exactly what your relationship with the scale is like but, if you can manage it, maybe try avoiding it for a day or two. Just focus on sticking to your plan and managing your stress? Maybe without the added stress of checking the scale every day it'll finally break for you. :)

Mandy: Oh, Mandy, I'm so sorry about the funk. I know how those moods can seep into your brain, latch on and just not want to let go. They're the worst and they can do so much damage. You remember when we all yelled "Shut up, Uber!"? I feel like doing that to your funk right now. Who cares that you broke the 300 lb mark? I CARE! You're incredible! You're doing such an amazing and inspiring job! No matter what the nasty little voice in your head is saying, no matter how much farther you have to go, know that you have come this far already and I am so proud of your success for you. :hug:

Sunny: Oh, Sunny. Isn't it amazing how much damage a single bad relationship can do? That being said, I feel the same way about the road that's brought me to where I am today. As hard has it has been at times, as uncertain as the future is for me right now, I wouldn't change a think because the trials and tribulations that I've gone through have made me the person that I am today. The scale may be irksome when it jumps up, but I'm sure it'll drop back down here soon enough. Hang in there and yay for getting the beef you were looking for!

Diane: Yay to go, Diane! Congrats, embrace it, enjoy it and have a great weekend.


Which brings me to me -
(Deep breath.) So, I have officially pissed the girl at work off. She's gone so far as to childishly block me and has turned how much we can get done at work into some sort of competition in her head to prove she can do more than me. Whatever. I will be bringing my A-game today; I was moving really slow yesterday. Somehow I managed to bruise the arch on my right foot. So I was working with blisters and a bruised arch. When I saw the bruise after I got home, the pain suddenly made so much more sense. XD

Additionally, a guy at work has been kind of flirting. He actually was going to ask me to some fireworks at the lake on Sunday but I had to work. Not to mention a question about my opinions on meeting someone who things of me as perfect, but that's a whole other can of worms. (For the record, I never want to meet someone who thinks of me as perfect. I am not perfect. I have a great many flaws, I am acutely aware of those flaws and, most days, I am okay with them because they are a part of me. It's like when people tell me I'm not fat. Don't lie to me. I know I am fat. I am obese which is fat. I may still be beautiful inside and sometimes that inner beauty reflects outside, you may see me for me rather than for my weight, but that doesn't negate the truth. Or telling me I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm not. I never will be. That's not my self-consciousness, that's me being realistic. I don't have to be the most beautiful woman in the world and if you believe me to be beautiful at all, I hope that it is for my inner beauty.) Anyway, last night, he asked if he could "stalk [me] on facebook". I said sure and then, after a little while, I realized that I wasn't sure this guy was aware I was in the middle of a divorce. Here's the thing, I am all for being friends but I have no interest in being in a relationship with this guy. I have no desire to even consider a relationship with anyone until my divorce is all said and done and, even then, it will be a while.

(I have come to realize and accept that I am hung up on a guy - we'll call him Missouri - I knew before I got married. I thought about him a lot in the last six years but didn't talk to him. It wouldn't have been right to even be friends with a guy who meant more to me than my husband at the time. As long as I am still comparing other guys to Missouri, I'm not emotionally in a place where I can be in a relationship with them.)

Anyway, for the sake of full disclosure, because I never want anyone to get the wrong impression about me and because I didn't want this guy to completely freak out and think I was a harlot in anyway, I decided to be sure he knew. And he did what most men do... He goes, if you thought in anyway, blah blah blah. Oh shut up. We both know you're interested. There's nothing wrong with that. Whatever. But why is it that a serious relationship in anyway enters the conversation and men tend to panic? It was nice to have a fellow nerd friend for a while, but I have a feeling this guys going to avoid me now. Which is stupid.

I guess the point of that is that I hate when people misunderstand where I am coming from and assume that I am some sort of crazy or clingy or I don't even know type person. The fact is, I am not. I am, usually, quite content with being alone. I am an introvert and I have trust issues. I am generally an optimist with a romantic point-of-view who likes to believe the best in people and embraces her childlike innocence. Ironically, I am also so acutely aware of the cruelty of our society that I keep everyone at least an arms length from me. I have spent a lot of type learning to build of barriers strong enough to keep myself from getting hurt and that is why I can be okay with being alone most days. It probably doesn't help my when my depression flairs up, but, eh, as an empathic person who tends to feel things too deeply anyway, what are you going to do? You got to learn to keep things at a distance or you risk letting everyone else's problems overwhelm you thereby compacting your own.

FeraFilia
07-24-2014, 09:16 PM
Just wanted to drop in and share with you guys my reward for getting under 300 pounds. :)

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/DSCN1357_zpsaf937a2a.jpg

Got them on sale for half price. Plus a pair of clearance flip flops.

edit to add: no idea why it's showing up so big, it's been resized, and shows up as the small version on photobucket :-\

edit again: I WIN.

garnetrising
07-24-2014, 11:47 PM
You do win! Nice grab with the shoes and what a great way to celebrate breaking through that barrier!

martini
07-25-2014, 02:41 AM
There's so much to catch up on! It's been a busy few days for me. I'm still on plan and I've been following the thread so all is well.

ajonas - As a former young and fat person who is now not-so-young and fat, I know exactly where you're coming from. I could have written what you wrote 15-something years ago. I'm trying to think what advice I would have given my former self... You're fine. You're lovely and beautiful and just fine the way you are. Disliking your body isn't what's going to change it. Throw yourself into life and celebrate every day because it really is a wonderful gift this life you've been given. The weight doesn't matter and will take care of itself if you focus on doing the things that you love.

uber - You are so smart and wise and juggling so many very difficult things that it makes you wonderfully human that you seem to forget your awesomeness sometimes. You had a crappy day, went out to eat, ordered something that had a reasonable amount of calories, and you ate it. And you stayed well under what you needed to have a calorie deficit for the day. I think you did great, especially when you think of the circumstances.

FWIW... I am incapable of leaving anything on any plate ever. I've spend hours at tables "nibbling" thousands of calories because there can be no survivors (!!!!!) from any meal.

Mandy - Right!?! OMG I so get your reaction to getting under 300!! Congratulations and it's awesome and wonderful and definitely reason for celebration, but there's a huge difference between what one feels and what one thinks one should feel.

I had that exact same reaction when I lost 100lb. I was like... Yes, it should be really awesome to hit these milestones but my fat behind is still shopping at Walmart in the poor part of town (the only one that carries a good selection of large sizes) because, even with 100lb gone, I'm still fat!!

If you need to be in a funk, you rock that funk. You sit in it as long as you need to and we'll all be there when you're ready to reemerge.

Diane - Hurrah for 50lb! I know writing that has an element of the ridiculous about it because it's following a rant on how you can reach these points and still feel kind of lousy, but I'm really happy for you.

Jessica - Hey now! You've got guys hitting on you!! Let him think you're perfect. Enjoy it. Bask in it. After all the crap you got from your soon-to-be ex-husband, I think that it's a well-deserved correction. :D

SunnyMac
07-25-2014, 10:19 AM
Morning All!

I have a 10:30am meeting so I don't have time to do individual responses this morning ... or right a 'novel' post :) So just a quick check in for me. I was back down this morning from yesterday to actually 243.8.... and while I prefer working with whole numbers and not the .X part BUT 243.8 is a full pound less than yesterday so I'm rolling with the fraction numbers on my digital scale. I did give in and ate a bagel this morning. Not the end of the world, its early in the day so I have plenty of time to get in some exercise and 'earn it' and keep it on track for the remainder of the day. Work closes early today and I'm looking forward to the weekend. I've got a lot of work in the yard to do and will probably have some down time thankfully. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it but I have a feeling a pedicure could potentially be in my future.

Anyway it's hard for me to check in on the weekends - I try not to spend much time sitting in front of a computer if I can help it so if I'm not back until Monday everyone have a wonderful weekend. I'm pushing to hit 241-242 by then if I can!!!!

LaurieDawn
07-25-2014, 02:23 PM
Woot!!! SO VERY MUCH TO CELEBRATE HERE! I rarely do emoticons on this site, but this occasion is worth it.

:carrot::dance::dance::dance::cheer3::cheer2::cong rat:

First, huge kudos to . . . MANDY! Under 300 pounds. Decade changes are incredibly cool. Century changes - well, definitely worth a snazzy pair of shoes. I know you're in a funk, Mandy, and you're not required to be super excited, but dang it! I am super excited for you. Yep. You still have a long way to go to get to goal, but how much better is life at 299 than life at 330? For me, just being on plan makes a world of difference in my mobility, my ability to play, and my general health. A long way to go until goal. And after goal, a long way to stay that way for the rest of your life. But you have accomplished and are accomplishing the most important goal -- you have figured out a way to take care of yourself and your health.

And, with a FIFTY pound loss, DIANE! So much to congratulate here. Not only did you hit the mark in advance of heading to your parents, but you did it while increasing your fitness level and your physical strength. I'm so excited for you!

Uber - What a great plan you implemented in response to unexpected life stresses. Could you have done better? Maybe. Did you need to do better? Heck no. You dealt with a very challenging situation in an incredibly sane manner. And you're grappling with a frustrating set point to boot. I love celebrating the successes, but I also really appreciate watching someone deftly handling the struggles that precede the success.

Martini - You crack me up, woman. "I've spent hours at tables 'nibbling' thousands of calories because there can be no survivors from any meal." I love the solidarity ticker. Trainer boy won't know what hit him. (I have seen him at my gym the past two days, BTW. He has no idea how determined I am to beat him. And I just laugh.)

Jessica - I know exactly what you mean about not wanting guys to think I'm perfect. But that's if you're in a relationship with them, and they expect perfection forever. For a casual admirer, keep up the facade, baby, then see yourself through his eyes! Hopefully, you work out your "Missouri"-related feelings, deal with getting the divorce behind you, and find yourself ready for a great relationship soon.

LotusMama - Great to have you on here regularly posting again. Yay for defeating internet issues!

Sunny - I love reading about your homesteading lifestyle. Slightly jealous of your supa coolness. Really jealous of those blueberries.

Lisa - Breast feeding is hard, partly because of the constant hunger. (And it's wonderful, too, in countless ways. Yay for you for doing it.) I also remember seeing pics of your husband from back in the day. If I remember correctly, he's pretty hot. =) We get so many social cues indicating that men "deserve" thin women (regardless of their own hotness, but particularly when the men are hot) that I am more concerned than I should be about my guy getting "hotter." Thanks for the reassurance.

Ajonas - So glad to have you! You've gotten great advice, and I won't add to it, except to say that you should keep coming here. We'll encourage you, even when your choices aren't stellar, and help you get through the hardest parts. We're not a judgey group, but there is a lot of collective wisdom and experience here, which I find invaluable.


I am not having scale frustrations on a par with Uber's, but I seem to be stuck at 228.8/229.0. Remarkable consistency for three days now. =) So, I am doing two things.

First, I am taking a relax day (which I planned to do anyway). I will eat what I want, and not do any formal exercise. I will almost certainly take a walk this afternoon, and I'm excited about that, but I will not push my heart rate up. I will not do running intervals. I will not think about burning calories. I will enjoy our lovely weather. I have also given myself permission to eat whatever I want. Period. I started out this morning by eating the two small pieces of fried chicken in my fridge. I stopped at the gas station that sells the best. cookies. ever. And I gave myself permission to purchase and eat as many as I wanted. I didn't want any. I passed by the frozen yogurt place. No desire to stop. The greasy chicken is still keeping me full almost six hours later. I'm not craving sweets. Contemplating a late lunch, but will probably just keep it to a light snack so I can have an appetite for dinner with the fam. Who knows? But even if I find myself going crazy later this evening, I will be able to get back on plan tomorrow and even defeat the trainer boy challenge.

Secondly, I am taking a 1-week hiatus from the scale. It hasn't hit me between the eyes yet, but I know that this mini-plateau part can be very discouraging, so I'm not going to be a daily witness of it. Two weeks into my trainer challenge, and I am down 11 pounds. The official bet is 12, with a goal of 20 in order to give me a cushion for time of day and time of month randomness, but I still have 6 weeks to make that additional 9 pounds I need. So, to stay out of my head and keep my focus where it needs to be (healthy changes to my lifestyle), I will continue to be on plan, but will trust the laws of thermodynamics, as Uber very eloquently noted, and stay off the scale for now.

And a quick side note - Things with the hubby are very, very good right now. Lifestyle changes can be tricky, but, at least for now, the adjustments are working.

garnetrising
07-25-2014, 04:07 PM
Sunny: Take that loss and run with it! You're gonna break into the 230's soon and it's gonna be awesome!

Laurie: I'm takin' a rest day today, too. My body needs it so bad and today will be day seven of working. So it's been a long week, but worth it to get my schedule squared away and back to 20 hours a week.


Ya'll are so sweet about the guy thing. I know I should accept the flattery but it's hard to do. I'm in a complicated place in general, I guess. Missouri doesn't make it easier by continuing to be the gentleman that I fell for all those years ago. When I needed someone to talk to about something other than the disaster that my life has become, he was the person I ended up turning to... I'm just going to continue to take everything one day at a time and focus on getting healthy, staying happy, and finding my way to the place where I need to be.

FeraFilia
07-25-2014, 05:16 PM
Hi all.

299.2 today, so I got to "make it official" that I'm under 300.

Still feeling blah. I'm pretty sure it's not diet/weight loss related because I'm not mad at my healthy food choices or wishing they were other things... Just wishing I had the freedom to grab the bag of tortilla chips and the jar of queso and eat my frustration away. My usual method of dealing with this weird emotional state.

So ambiguous. I wish I knew what was up. But I also know this happens to me sometimes when I'm stressed and trying to process something (I've got a few things going on, to say the least heh). Maybe my emotion center shuts down a bit while my subconscious struggles with a problem? No clue.

Thank you all for celebrating for me until my head really gets in the game, and also for the support while I deal with whatever this mess going on in my head is. It's very much appreciated.

ubergirl
07-25-2014, 06:07 PM
Guess who hit her first mini-goal. :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

Yup. Hit 260. Ironically, after being stuck at 261 I finally dropped after going out to a concert last night where I ate a picnic of baguette, brie, hard salami, and pate, and a couple of tiny cookies.

So, I'm officially down 25 since I started at the end of May, and more importantly, I'm one pound below the dreaded 261, which is how much I weighed in Jan 2012, when I stepped on the scale and discovered I'd gained 70 lbs in just over 3 months... plus, my goal was to hit 260 before I left for vacation, and I have 14 more days before I leave-- meaning that I will hopefully be IN the 250s before I leave.

Mandy LOVE THE SHOES!!! I'm so happy that you also hit the big century change! That is total awesomeness and I'm glad you paused to reward yourself. I really know what you mean about the weird emotional state. I have this weird thing when horrible stuff is going on and I think to myself-- okay, I know all this weird bad stuff is going on but I don't feel stressed. Not at all. This isn't bothering me at all. When in reality, I'm totally upset and stressed and worried, but it's like I just don't recognize it... it's looking back on those times, when I think, wow I was really upset then. It's like if I'm not crying I think I'm "fine." And that is EXACTLY the mood when I start eating everything in sight. Hang in there girl! You are doing so well!

MartiniCan you be my awesome big sister (even though I'm older.) You have such a wise take on things! I'm so glad that you are solidly on plan, and you really have your head in the right place.

Jessica I'm a sucker for romance, and nothing is more seductive than complicated feelings for old boyfriends-- now that's the stuff that novels are written about. It's always a little disconcerting when the pounds start dropping and all of a sudden you get so much more attention-- but I say you earned it and you should ROCK IT!

Sunny Good for you to stay away from the computer on weekends. I guess it's the occupational hazard of being a writer, but I seem to always end up back on the computer.

Laurie Taking a day off is BRILLIANTNESS!!!! This is the thing that I'm learning and GOING TO LEARN this time around. I was the queen of following the diet rules-- a complete weight loss over achiever, but boy did I have a lot of built up resentment from depriving myself over and over again that I didn't know I had.

So, here's the realization I had:

When I'm trying to lose weight, I act as if I'm on a train called THE GOAL EXPRESS. It's an awesome train, but it's not very much fun, and there isn't too much to eat on it. At each station, I have a choice to get off and go into the station where they have lattes, and danishes, and burgers, and all kinds of yummy things, so of course, it's tempting to get off, since I'm hungry. So I stay on the train for a while, but finally, I decide I want off. The problem is, the second I hop off the train, planning to have a coffee and Danish, which isn't so bad after all, the GOAL EXPRESS leaves the station without me, and I realize I'm now stranded in FAT LAND.

See what I mean? I mean, you could get on and off the train an infinite number of times and still reach your destination, as long as you get back on. You might not get there as fast, but it would be a lot more pleasant...

So that is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to step off THE GOAL EXPRESS when it seems like a good idea to do so-- like when I'm bringing a picnic to a concert. The brie and pate from one meal isn't going to make me fat any more than it makes the other people I'm sharing it with fat. The problem isn't eating what I want from time to time, the problem is thinking that I'm either riding the GOAL EXPRESS or marooned in FATLAND.

And that, my friends, is what happens when you let a writer join your little group. Since I type really fast, I can go on and on at great length....

Carry on! :D

garnetrising
07-25-2014, 07:06 PM
So, randomly, weighed in at 224.6 lbs this morning. This is the second or third day that I've seen that low on the screen so I'm running with it. :) That puts me at 35 lbs lost. According to my weight tracker, if I keep up with the 2.5 lbs or so I'm averaging a week, I could hit 199 lbs as early as October 1st. It's an exciting thought, but I'm going to stick with my goal of getting to 199 lbs by Christmas so I don't put myself in a position to angst. If I hit it sooner, awesome, if not, I'll get there eventually. :)

Mandy, your brain will catch up and embrace your progress soon enough. Keep focusing on making sure you're doing the best you can to take care of yourself and manage your stress levels. Things will have to calm down for you at some point. :)

Congratulations, Uber! I'm so happy for you hitting that goal. Especially after a night of indulging, which you'd earned! It's something that can go a long way to reinforcing what you're trying to remember - that you don't have to be stranded just because you stepped off the GOAL EXPRESS for a visit. :)

I know, I know. I'm the same way when it comes to romance. What's more I'm always a sucker for the guy who usually ends up friend-zoned. I'd chose the Phantom of the Opera over Raul any day. Jareth from Labyrinth. Snape over James Potter. Col. Brandon over Willoughby. And not just because the last two are played by Alan Rickman. I blame my exquisite taste for gentlemen on the late, great Jimmy Stewart. He was my childhood crush.

I can count my relationships on one hand. Three and one quarter. The first two were the same guy, once when I was in eighth grade and once when I was a senior in high school. He ended up cheating on me both times. Eh, whatever. It took him a long time, but he did eventually own up to it. The third full one was, obviously, my marriage. Yeah. That was a disaster from the get go and I knew it was doomed when he kissed me the first time and I felt absolutely nothing. Oh well.

That quarter... that would be Missouri. He's a gentleman. He's a slow - very slow - mover. When we finally met face to face in 2008, he never made a move. I thought it was a lack of interest. He's since stated that it was respect - we only had a week together - and letting himself get caught up in the very real possibility that we'd never see each other again - he was in the Army at the time. He's also incredibly hard for me to read. As I described it to someone once, it can make him both frustrating and confusing. It infuriates me, cause I don't like to be confused, and... I love it. I could read my ex like a book. I can read a lot of people like a book. But Missouri is like this puzzle, this big huge complicated puzzle, that I'm trying desperately to put together. One thing I am determined to do is not jump to conclusions again like I did before. I know that there is an affection there, I just don't know how deep that affection runs. I'm going to give myself time and, more importantly, I'm going to give him time.

martini
07-25-2014, 08:29 PM
You are all doing so well! It's such an inspiration!

LaurieDawn - Was there any part of you that was scared or nervous before giving yourself that day off? One of my big fears is starting to eat and then not stopping. I've been really limited with what I eat. It's boring but it also does a lot to stem cravings.

Mandy - :hug:

Jessica - Someone's got a crush! :o

Uber - The only thing that I have taken away from your post is that brie = weight loss. This is why French women are thin. Thank you for reminding me of what I've always known deep down inside.

I am SO HUNGRY!!! Argh it is so difficult!! I've gone through the list of things it could be - emotionally I'm fine, work is stressful but that's always true - and have decided it's all hormonal. Ovulation hits and I get insanely hungry. I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.

My calorie range for each day is 1200 to 1400 calories. My first two weeks on plan I was at the lower end of that spectrum and this week I'm at the upper end. I went over by like 10 calories on one day but that's not really being off plan. I'm trying to address the hunger by eating foods that are very filling (think mammoth pots of vegetable soup) and it works but man oh man.

Does anyone know enough about what happens in terms of hormones during ovulation that would trigger this hunger? Am I just imagining things and looking for a biochemical explanation when I should be focused on an emotional/psychological one?

FeraFilia
07-25-2014, 08:39 PM
Martini - I don't think you're alone: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/297939-question-about-ovulation.html

Some ladies get what feels like mini-pms around ovulation.

I'd like to offer my personal experience, but I've got PCOS so I'm not entirely sure when ovulation happens until my period hits and i realize that explains that issue I had a couple weeks prior.

garnetrising
07-25-2014, 09:53 PM
Martini: :^: I feel that's the closest I can get to a sheepish grin.

As for your hunger, I wish I could give you some better in sight. I have long cycles (about 45 days). All I know for sure is that I tend to hold my weight during with a big drop either right before or right after. And I tend to be ravenous at least part of those 4 days. Especially if I'm doing a lot of exercise. I have no idea when my ovulation tends to fall so I can't say if I'm extra hungry during that time or not.

In terms of satiating it, you might try increasing your fiber and/or your protein. Both of them can be very filling in different circumstances.

ubergirl
07-25-2014, 10:33 PM
I am SO HUNGRY!!! Argh it is so difficult!! I've gone through the list of things it could be - emotionally I'm fine, work is stressful but that's always true - and have decided it's all hormonal. Ovulation hits and I get insanely hungry. I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.

My calorie range for each day is 1200 to 1400 calories. My first two weeks on plan I was at the lower end of that spectrum and this week I'm at the upper end. I went over by like 10 calories on one day but that's not really being off plan. I'm trying to address the hunger by eating foods that are very filling (think mammoth pots of vegetable soup) and it works but man oh man.

Does anyone know enough about what happens in terms of hormones during ovulation that would trigger this hunger? Am I just imagining things and looking for a biochemical explanation when I should be focused on an emotional/psychological one?

Martini The hunger thing is the devil. I think this is a phase you have to get through. My hunger was over the top for the first few weeks, then my metabolism magically got used to the lower calories.

Re Hunger and ovulation. The devil is in the progesterone which surges after ovulation. It's low in the first half of the cycle. It makes people hungry and also other PMS symptoms. When your progesterone starts to rise it's probably what makes you hungry.

Regarding feeling like the first time you eat anything bad you'll suddenly eat the entire TITANIC. Ok, that is exactly my problem, however, I'm really trying to retrain myself out of that thought. I managed to lose 110 pounds and maintain for 2 years. That means 3 straight years of staying on track, but when I went off the rails, I swear to god I ate at least one serving of every single thing I had every looked at longingly and decided not to eat. I've never been one to believe in moderation of treats, or cheat days or anything like that, but now, I've decided that if I want to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF I'm simply going to have to manage. It is not realistic to believe that I'll spend the rest of my life systematically depriving myself of everything I want. What I'm trying now is to develop a habit of eating not much most of the time, just coffee and milk for breakfast, tiny lunches, and really light dinners IF I'm home and not doing anything-- but when I'm in a setting where I would otherwise feel deprived, like in a restaurant or out with people I go ahead and eat. I actually learned this strategy from a skinny and beautiful friend who is always off eating at some fancy restaurant. I never understood how she did it until I realized that was her strategy-- low baseline calories all the time and then big cheat meals a few times a week. Interestingly, I was looking back at my log for 2009. I started weight loss about the same time I started this time, and at this point, 9 weeks in, I had lost the exact same amount of weight. And this time, I've eaten brie, had a serving of ice cream, eaten 700 calories of pasta one time-- and it was all good. I'm not saying I've LEARNED this, but I have a feeling that this is the way that may eventually work for me. In the meantime, hope the hunger monster calms down!

FeraFilia
07-25-2014, 11:33 PM
So. Out of curiosity, and a sense of "I'm going to screw up at some point in the future, so let's see how this would fit into maintenance"...

I went to iifym.com to get my TDEE, or what I would need to eat daily at maintenance if I was working out 4x per week (which is what I do now).... and apparently my maintenance calories at goal (Age 33, 5'9, 165lbs) will be 2100-2200 calories per day. (Guessed for age at goal)

So, in essence, if I go crazy and eat something that puts me over my calories, FOR NOW, but I stay below 2200 calories... I've essentially had a day that will be okay when I get to goal and enter maintenance.

I've decided, before it even happens, that I'm going to need to forgive myself, and this is the science of why it's not the end of the world when I do, or something like that anyway. And I can consider it practice for when I splurge after hitting my goal.

I didn't learn this skill last time. Which is why I ballooned right back up when I stopped paying attention. People who never have weight problems, or have reached goal and maintained for a long time, they've learned how to socialize and have the occasional "splurge" without it triggering a massive regain. I want to learn this.

I NEED to learn this.

I did well today. I've been so snacky and wanting to eat ALL THE FOODS in the house. When I felt the need to sit and munch on something, I weighed and logged grapes and was able to mindlessly munch. It helped. And it was so much better than the chips and queso I mentioned earlier. I've done well today and kept my food to around 1600... The low side of my preferred range (1600-1800).

This post has been insanely ramble-y.

TL;DR - I'm typing to keep my fingers out of food I'm not really hungry for right now.

ajonas1
07-25-2014, 11:54 PM
Thank you all, really...so much. I really appreciated your story SunnyMac, I can relate to it...I have sort of written off dating until I start feeling better about myself, because I know I too have landed myself in some bad relationships that have made things worse, or made me feel worse about myself. It isn't about wanting to be thinner necessarily before dating again, but if I can't feel as good about myself as I should I certainly can't expect someone else to do it for me...and garnetrising, your tips are helpful. I will really ponder how to approach this with more planning and less impulse, and try to figure out some of the root causes. I am seeing a therapist again, and for as long as I have known her I NEVER talk about my weight. I am too embarrassed (I know, defeats the purpose of seeing a therapist?!), but I think it's finally time that I talked about it. It has been an issue my whole life. And EVERYONE, thank you for your kind words. It is hard when very few people around you have the same problems, and as much as my friends and family love me, they just can't relate or understand my frustration.

I think where I failed was that I was SO strict with myself that I did set myself for a "relapse". The weight came off so quickly, and my impatience prevented me from seeing the best thing for me in the long run. I am signing up for a gym (finally, for the first time in 9 months), and the scale budged FINALLY, 2 pound loss! Not much, but I have to start somewhere. I suppose it was serendipitous that I finally saw a decrease in weight a day after I posted for the first time.

I will be in touch. :)

LaurieDawn
07-26-2014, 01:37 PM
Ajonas - congratulations on your loss! Hopefully, you'll be comfortable enough to talk to your therapist about the weight issues, if that's something that you think will be helpful for you.

Martini - Yes. I am terrified of not being able to get back on track. So far, though, I have been doing well with it. It was only one day, though, so I didn't have to go through the starving thing of the first foray onto plan, and I have things ready to go and a plan in place. I really liked it, actually.

Mandy - I love that thought. And you know what? If 2200 is maintenance at goal, it's probably a deficit where you are right now. Good for you on being able to eat mindless grapes. Those are the strategies that will serve us long-term, cuz those munchy days will happen, and your strategy sounds so much more pleasant than white-knuckling.

Jessica - I LOVE those people that you mention are typical "friend zone" material, except perhaps the Phantom. I, too, have always preferred really good, kind men over flashy ones. I hope you find your Colonel Brandon, whether it is Missouri or not.

Uber - I have been thinking about your Weight Loss Express. I love the way that you express it. It's exactly how I am, and I tend to forget that there are places that aren't either Weight Loss Express of Fatland. I am really trying to explore them.

Really need to rant. Hope someone can relate. Yesterday, I was very excited because, every other Friday, my husband and stepkids do a pizza and movie night. I chose this day to do my "relax day" so that I could enjoy the pizza and snacks worry-free.

I got home from work around 6:00. They had already eaten. This man who never feeds his kids before 7 or 8, and sometimes feeds them as late as 11, fed them enough before 6 that there wasn't even evidence of a meal. And, even though I was doing a "relax" day on calories, I also wanted to be hungry so I could really enjoy the meal, so I was pretty hungry at this point. Okay. Deep breath. My son was bringing by some furniture, and I had told him that I would buy him and his friend pizza, so I decided I would just have a few slices with him. I asked my husband and stepkids if they were still hungry or would just want to munch on pizza so I would know how much to get. All of them emphatically said they did not want any. My son brought over two friends instead of one, so as hungry as I was, I was concerned I didn't have enough, so I let them eat before I had any. They left a single piece. Okay. One slice of pizza and some raspberries seemed like a good dinner, and I was really excited about the pizza because I haven't had any in so long. I went out to say goodbye to my son, came back in, and my husband (who had both eaten dinner and told me not to get him any) was eating my pizza. WTH?

This is the part I hope someone can relate to, because it makes me feel crazy. I was incredibly close to tears. I wanted that pizza so much. I had "plan" food, but it wasn't supposed to be an "on-plan" meal. I also really didn't want to order another whole pizza for me when I would have only wanted, at most, two slices. So, I watched the movie, took deep breaths, and realized that my plan food was chosen for a reason. I really like it.

So, at about 8:30, I went into the kitchen, which is set behind and a bit off to the side of the living room, and got some Starkist ranch tuna. So. Good. I took the first bite, and really savored it. I was hungry. And my husband turns around, sees the tuna, and says, "Oh. I was wondering what that horrible smell was. Tuna in a bag. Gross."

And this is where I completely lost it. I am a grown woman with impulse control. But I froze when he said it. He turned back around, I sat the food on the counter, and I went into the other room and cried.

Then, I decided I was done with eating for this disastrous meal, went bowling with the group at 9:00, walked home from the bowling alley to help shake my nasty mood, watched another episode of Batman with the group, went to bed at midnight, got up, and have been back on plan since. Even though I totally weighed after I said I wouldn't, and I am up an entire pound. ;-)

Also, as much as I liked going off plan yesterday, I really love being on plan. I feel in control. My body reacts well to my chosen foods. And I love being able to eat without guilt.

FeraFilia
07-26-2014, 03:12 PM
Not much say today, so I'm just gonna leave this right here.

http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj518/FeraFilia/10552458_597098970399070_7485387176011812841_n_zps 9325f571.jpg

garnetrising
07-26-2014, 04:23 PM
Uber: That is one of the very reason love tracking my food, weight, and inches. The fact that you can look back and see that allowing an indulgence this time did not hinder you compared to the last time will help reinforce your new mentality. I love being able to look back and see that I have more muscle mass now than I did the last time.

Mandy: Brilliant! I read an article once that talked about eating at, or around, calories you would need to maintain your goal weight as a means of helping reach that weight. It's a practice I've tried to follow. Well, I generally eat several hundred calories less than what I would need to maintain, but I believe the principle to be sound nonetheless. On the journey down, it is definitely a good way of helping remind yourself that a single day of splurging now isn't going to break things when you aren't eating any more than you would at maintenance. Grapes, by the way, are awesome. :D -- And your picture made me giggle.

Ajonas: Two pounds is a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. It may not seem like a lot, but it really is. It is important to not short change yourself on your hard work and, also, to embrace the slow and steady approach. I think, if you are ready, that it might just be time to broach the subject of your weight with your therapist. It would be wonderful if talking to her about it could help you find a deeper understanding of your roots, your triggers, etc. Celebrate your loss and your commitment to blossoming into a happier, healthier you. <3

Laurie: Oh, Laurie. I'm so so so so sorry about the frustrating night you had last night. I understand how frustrating it can be when someone doesn't seem to really be considering your thoughts, feelings, or emotions. :( I have faith that I'll find my Col. Brandon one day. It'll happen when it's meant to happen and it might be hard sometimes, but patience is going to be key for not going crazy in the meantime.


Not much to report on my front. Well, that's not entirely true. The guy from work did end up talking to me again. Apparently, he's having difficulty finding me on FB. He also gave me a usb with some old school video games on it. Been a long time since I've played old school video games. Lol.

Took yesterday off from working out. I'm thinking I'm going to put together some sort of fitness challenge (definitely one for planks and I'll call it "This is Why We Plank") and post it here and/or over at FatSecret.com. The scale was uncooperative this morning. But I'm sure it's got a lot to do with fluid build up as my muscles recovered yesterday from all the work I've been putting them through. I haven't done any exercises yet today but I will get to them soon. I'm also gonna go down to the lake this evening and go swimming for the first time in nearly a week. We had rain a few days and the other days I was just worn out. Really looking forward to the swim.

Also, I got the $17.60 refund from the sheriff's department in Colville for the fees to get my ex served his papers. (I sent enough to cover the cost if they had to drive out and attempt service, but he did, at least, go and pick them up himself.) So yay, I'm $17.60 richer. That's going straight into my fund for tennis shoes.

martini
07-26-2014, 08:18 PM
LaurieDawn - I know exactly what that evening was like for you and, while I'm really sorry that you had to experience it, I am so inspired by the fact that you reacted without overeating.

garnetrising
07-26-2014, 08:29 PM
Quick update. Got myself some tennis shoes. So happy now. <3

martini
07-27-2014, 06:10 AM
I am so marooned in fatland right now. The automatic spell checker keeps on changing "fatland" to "flatland" and it's almost reinforcing the feeling because I have to hit the little delete key a million times, as if I were saying "no ****it! it's FATland!!"

Mandy - There are two things bouncing around my head at the moment that came from you.

You talking about having the freedom to eat chips when you wanted really got me thinking. I don't know if that "freedom" would ever work for me. I would really like to be able to eat without having any internal monitor turned on and counting calories, but I don't think I have that kind of relationship with food now. There's a very good chance I never will and that's kind of hard to wrap my head around. For me right now freedom is a day where I don't have to think a lot about what I'm eating.

Unfortunately, I'm not terribly free at the moment because the hunger is still with me. Stupid progesterone. That's got me thinking about what you wrote about not being upset with yourself for eating maintenance level calories.

I went over my daily limit by 111 calories today because I wanted to have two nectarines as snacks. I'm stressed over something I'm working on and it may be just the crunch-crunch-crunch soothing that I needed. It might be hormonal. Who knows. But it reminded me of you and, before I got too down on myself, I asked myself what I would post if you had said the same thing. I'd be much nicer to you than you are to yourself and I think you'd do the same for me. If I came to this board and said "ZOMG everyone! I had 1511 calories today!!" you'd all very kindly and compassionately tell me I'm being ridiculous and to pull it together. You'd probably use different words, but the meaning would be the same.

So even if you're not feeling too awesome at the moment, you've done wonders for my own mental outlook. Thank you!

ubergirl
07-27-2014, 01:16 PM
Mandy I think eating maintenance calories is a great idea. Yet another way to prove that we should be able to jump on and off the weight loss express. Pausing makes perfect sense. Love the cartoon.

JessicaYay for tennis shoes!

Laurie I'm not ashamed to admit that I've cried over pizza. I actually tend to panic when groups are ordering pizza. I hate it when there's not enough, and suddenly as the resident FAT LADY, I'm always the one expected to say-- oh don't worry, go ahead, I'll boil myself an egg. Hugs to you!

Martini I'm so sorry you're feeling marooned in FATLAND. Ugh. What you said about self-talk is SO TRUE. I would have ENTIRELY lost perspective about the two nectarines... and yet, when you tell me about it, it makes me want to give you a hug. It is really hard to figure out how to strike a balance between being flexible and being accountable to a plan. There has GOT to be a happy medium between my two extremes of "perfect diet queen" and "miserable fatso parked in the grocery store parking lot in Fatland secretly eating chocolate eclairs..."

I bounced back to 261 today after two days of sticking at 260, but I DO think I'm going to see a middle number of 5 very soon. I'm determined to slog through the next 25 by any means possible, because I know once i hit 230 I really start to look and feel better.

FeraFilia
07-27-2014, 01:21 PM
Had this thought a little bit ago... Weight loss done properly is like a good pork shoulder roast. It's done low and slow. Takes time for quality results so don't try to rush it or it won't be good.

I'm craving barbecue right now, and that's what came to me.

Martini - I'm glad my words made sense to someone other than me! Sometimes I get the feeling that my words lose what little sense they made in my head in the transition between my brain and my fingertips.

Jessica - YAY for new tennis shoes! I'm still jealous of your lake for swimming. I used to be such a water baby until I realized the snickers and comments about a beached whale were aimed at me and I threw away all of my swim suits and never looked back. I think I'm at a point where I just don't really care what others might think about my pale, jiggly self in a bathing suit. :)

I've still got a bit of fog in my head, but I feel like it's dissipating, so that's good. I'm not logging food today, because a friend of ours from the seminary here is getting ordained today. There will be a reception, and hubby will be taking me out to dinner after. No idea where we're gonna go for food. So, I've decided to make today a "day off" in a sense. No logging, just gonna try to make good choices. And if those choices are good for me mentally, instead of physically, so be it. Sometimes you just need cream sauce or cheese cake. :)

LaurieDawn
07-27-2014, 02:57 PM
Martini - Thank you for understanding what my evening was like. Interestingly, I often react to emotional pain by not eating. But it's not an effective weight loss strategy, as I then follow that up by bingeing later. =) Not inspiring, I'm afraid, but I'm fighting to throw off this funk and get back to feeding myself with love and appreciation. I also understand totally about feeling marooned in Fatland. But Mandy is right, and you have applied her wisdom perfectly. At most, you ate maintenance calories. It's far more likely that you ate at a less-than-desired deficit. All cause for celebration, especially on a munchy day. Even those days can be wrapped into a long-term commitment without problem. You did great.

Uber - Thanks for the much-needed hug. Fat people not only need food too, but our systems are probably more used to more consistent feeding, so it can be even more painful for us not to get it. And I totally get the "eating in the parking lot" thing. Even when I'm on plan, I still do that. I acknowledge that food has power over me, and I try to respect it and work with it.

Jessica - Congratulations on the new shoes! What a great investment in your health. And way to go on budgeting for them. And your admirer is straight up adorable with the old school video games. Even if he's not a prospect, as long as you're not leading him on with false hope, it's nice to get a little bit of positive energy and admiration.

Rough day today. Dealing with some depression issues. Not gonna bore anyone with details, though. Gonna work through 'em. And gonna try and use exercise as the effective therapy I know it is.

sanshir
07-27-2014, 05:48 PM
I am so glad to find this thread, I am just getting back into the swing of things after regaining 10 lbs plus the 65 I lost before.

Slashnl
07-27-2014, 06:35 PM
Hi all. I'm back in town after a great 3 day weekend. I didn't record any food, didn't do any workouts since Thursday.... so we'll see what tomorrow's weigh in brings. I'm not worried about it. If I'm up, I'm up. Then, I'll just have to work hard this week to get back to normal. (whatever that is!) Just had a great time with my parents and sister! They are all impressed with my weight loss, but I also think they were glad that I would go ahead and eat normal stuff and not obsessively record it. I did miss keeping track, but there was so much that would have just been guesses on how many calories!

Looks like lots of activity here. Hope everyone has a great end to the weekend.

Welcome Sanshir!

martini
07-27-2014, 07:52 PM
Uber - What you wrote about that "oh don't worry about me if there's not enough food, I'm fat so I don't need to eat"-moment is something I've definitely experienced, but I never known others did as well. Not being alone in these things is really powerful stuff.

Hang in there with getting out of the 260s!

Mandy - Hope you had a lovely dinner with your husband!

LaurieDawn - Would it be wrong for me to say that crying over the pizza actually had nothing to do with the food itself? The way I read it was that you had planned your day around this time and that you were really looking forward to it. When your husband and the kids had already eaten, when that last slice of pizza was taken, it wasn't the food that hit you but that need to be loved and recognized and acknowledged.

I thought of this when reading your comment to Uber about how food has a hold on you. Well, sure it does. It does on me as well or I wouldn't be backpedaling away from 300lb. But we all also need to feel appreciated and understood and food is one way of conveying that. When I was little I cried when my mother took too big a bite of my sandwich - not because I was hungry but because she didn't seem to respect me or my things or my boundaries. (so weird how vividly I remember that) Maybe that or something like it was the emotional part of your pizza night.

Just throwing that out there. I very well could be way, way off and if I am please do let me know. :)

Sanshir - Hey!

Diane - Welcome back! Glad to hear you enjoyed your weekend!

I'm coming up against a hard deadline for this project I've been working on for years now and I can't seem to finish. The anxiety is overwhelming, but it's also something I'm so familiar with. I've become comfortable being haunted by this big unfinished thing and feeling less than and like I should walk around apologizing for myself and my existence. In a way it's like being fat. I've incorporated this fat-ness into my being and it's difficult to allow a new way of being and looking at the world to poke through.

It feels good to put all of those fears and worries out there, though. I'm starting my day now and I'm going to spend it working on this project. One of the things I'll keep in mind as I do is that there's a little cheering squad of women losing weight who get where it is I'm coming from.

1Bluerose68
07-27-2014, 08:14 PM
I am a large sized woman, unfortunately don't think I shall ever see myself wearing a size Medium, though mom said she thought I should be in Medium sized clothing, or I was a "Medium?"

Anyhow, I am trying to lose 5 lbs at a time. Most of the day my stomach hurts from, "putting back on my grey chains." In other words, having self discipline and more of a will to succeed, again in losing weight and reaching my 150 lb goal in about 2 yrs, I suppose.....?

I don't really love veggies but I eat them for roughage and more bowel movement. Before, I lacked the discipline to consistently purchase fruit and veggies when grocery shopping.

Though, I have began to experience some anxiety when planning to go shopping. I hope I am not becoming a full blown Agoraphobic head case. I have situation anxiety at times, and usually don't even travel to amusement parks, fairs,or flea markets as I have gotten virally ill from being in the presence of huge crowds of people, and dirt, and dust, and people coughing on each other in too crowded of an environment......

I would have loved to have had a season pass every single friggen summer; however, the 1st time I visited a theme park in September I came down, almost immediately, with bronchitus and could hardly breath. And, I just love the shows and coaster rides, so I miss that a lot....

That type of walking around, and having loads of fun ALL while burning calories and toning up while walking round the theme park I really miss.

I even went on my 1st H.S date to MGA , so that thought makes me a wee bit lonely too, for never going back there again.

I guess if there were some sort of shuttle round here to bring me there and bring me back to say the BART station or store parking lot within a few hours, it would be fun for 1/2 a day at least. But that idea doesn't exist round here so why dream, right???

I have noticed that most places where I frequented as a teen , for fun, have all gone out of business. I miss our old roller rink, and our old bowling alley, and the local candy shop, that had fresh, fruit flavored popcorn.

Now round here it seems like they are too concerned with the kids Not losing focus on spelling bees and Pre-Sat Test score exams. It's not right, for everyone though!! We studied as kids, but we had fun too. We weren't so futuristic, but we still did OK living in The Moment and that's a religion for some simple families. " Go Simple, Go Braugh, Just Go!!!"

Sincerely,
"Tis Herself"
By :1Bluerose68

garnetrising
07-28-2014, 12:12 AM
Uber: I bounced up from 224.6 lbs on Friday to 226 lbs yesterday. I was back down to 224.0 lbs this morning. Sometimes a gain is just a random scale fluctuation. Hang in there, you're going to hit the 230's soon enough.

Mandy: I like that analogy. :D Have fun at the reception.

Laurie: He is a bit adorable. He said he was going to try and find me on facebook again, but I haven't heard anything else from him. That's always my biggest fear, someone feeling like I led them on. I don't think that's an issue right now, but if it becomes necessary for me to spell out that I'm not ready for a relationship, I will.

I hope you're able to shake your depression soon. I hate going through my down days. They're the worst.

sanshir: Welcome to the group!

Diane: I'm so happy you were able to have such a great time with your family. Missing tracking, lol, that sounds like me. :)

Martini: 1511 calories is nothing to be upset about. And the fact that the 111 calories you were over came from a healthy food like nectarines is a good thing.

Changing the way we look at ourselves or our view of how the world views us can be hard. I can relate to feeling like you always have to apologize for just being you. I hope that as your deadline comes closer, you'll be able to work through your anxiety and complete the project you're working on. Know that we're cheering for you in all aspects of your life, not just your weight-loss. <3

Bluerose: Hello there. :)


Which brings me to me.
Today... was a mess.

Given the hours I work, I don't usually get home until 2am. In order to keep my sleep patterns from being wonky, I try to stick to similar hours even on the days that I'm off. That means I didn't wake up until about 10-1030 this morning. I finish drinking my morning bottle of water and my brother invites me to go look at the yard sales "in an hour". I didn't mind this and was actually pretty excited by the prospect.

Until he decided that an hour was actually going to be ten minutes. So, without breakfast, I went with them. I figured I'd grab a late lunch. Yeah, didn't work out so well. When we got home, my intention was to eat something, take Luna for her walk and then go meet them at the lake for a swim. My brother was very adamant that I go with them right then. So I grabbed a yogurt and went.

I did get to enjoy an hour of swimming laps and then some time helping my niece practice swimming without a floaty. BUT. It we didn't get home until about 6pm. At which time he asked if I'd watch the girls why he ran to get stuff to make hamburgers with. I didn't want to not eat dinner with the family so I waited. About 7-730pm, food was almost ready, but Luna - having still not had a chance to go on her walk because the girls can't handle 2 miles yet - started pitching a fit. I couldn't blame her and I was starting to worry we wouldn't get a walk at all if I waited. I ended up walking her which meant that I didn't make it home to eat until about 8-830pm.

As physically hungry as I was, a huge part of me, mentally, was like what's the point. I did eat - and I enjoyed it - but I hate feeling like I didn't have a chance to stick, even remotely, to my daily schedule. Additionally, when I started writing about my day, a friend of the family was sitting here and reading what I was writing over my shoulder. That irritated me. I don't like when people read things over my shoulder to begin with. Then he made a comment that I was up for about 30-45 minutes before we left and that I could have eaten then. Sigh. I have a schedule. I get up, I drink a bottle of water with my supplements. I don't chug the bottle, I like to enjoy it. For me, waiting that little extra amount of time lets my body wake up and ensures that I start the day hydrated.

In better news, I saw 224.0 lbs on the scale this morning, though I'm not going to record it yet. (I also saw 222.2 lbs and 223.8 lbs this afternoon after swimming, but given how little I'd eaten, I'm not even going to consider those numbers, lol.) I did notice that, for some reason, I've been feeling like I wasn't making any progress the last few days. But even though I felt stagnant, I was only feeling mildly bummed about it. Maybe it was the rest day making me feel like a lazy sack of bones or how everything I normally make a point of doing for myself got pushed to the very end of the day. Whatever it was, I decided - for curiosities sake - to pull out the tape measure. I figured that it would tell me if the feeling was all in my head or not.

The good news, it is all in my head. As I am so apt to say, the tape doesn't lie.

Slashnl
07-28-2014, 11:56 AM
Hi all! Well, back to normal, with recording food and workouts. I down from last Monday's weigh in, so that's good, but up a little from last Thursday when I hit within .2 of my 50 pounds lost goal weight. That's ok. I was definitely not on plan all weekend, so up by 1.4 isn't the end of the world. I hope to see it go down quickly. I was back at spin class this morning and it was a fairly good workout, but it was the instructor who insists on combining the two very different workouts into one. I just find it so irritating. I feel like she has no plan and we end up just pedaling endlessly with no challenges mixed in. Boring. Oh well.

Garnet: Doesn't sound like you had a great day yesterday. I hate it when it happens like that. So frustrating! We all like our routines.

Martini: Good luck on your deadline! You can do it!

ubergirl
07-28-2014, 12:35 PM
:)Sanshir and Bluerose- Welcome!

Dianie Welcome back! I really like your strategy of going home, relaxing and having fun, and not even trying to track, and then hopping right back on track. This is something I am determined to learn how to do. That must have been a great feeling to show off the new bod!

Laurie Sorry you were having a down day. Hope today is better.

Jessica It is so hard to be pushed off your own schedule and yet it sounds as if you handled it well. I'm so impressed by how active you are!

Mandy I hope you enjoyed the reception! Glad the fog is lifting. Weight loss is like a pork shoulder roast, LOL :)


MartiniI'm coming up against a hard deadline for this project I've been working on for years now and I can't seem to finish. The anxiety is overwhelming, but it's also something I'm so familiar with. I've become comfortable being haunted by this big unfinished thing and feeling less than and like I should walk around apologizing for myself and my existence. In a way it's like being fat. I've incorporated this fat-ness into my being and it's difficult to allow a new way of being and looking at the world to poke through.

Gosh Martini, I so could have written that post myself! If it makes you feel any better, I too am haunted by a big unfinished thing and I have also been feeling less than and feeling like I should walk around and apologize for myself and my existence. And what a sh@@#$%y way to live! It's almost like I transform my outsides to match how awful and worthless I feel inside. When I look in the mirror and I see fat uber who hasn't bought any new clothes in a year, who desperately needs a trip to the salon, and who is super-overweight, I see an uber-dud, and I think to myself "yup, she sure does look like a failure."I just want you to know that I really do understand what it feels like to have a big, long project hanging over you, combined with the worry about whether you're going to measure up. I feel so sad that you feel this way-- and I understand it entirely.

As for me-- same ol. I'm WAITING PATIENTLY to get below 260!!!!! It has to happen!

sanshir
07-28-2014, 01:13 PM
Thanks for all of the welcomes!!! I havent really got to any losses yet, but it is nice to know people are out there, I had low calories yesterday, then I made butterscotch pudding waiting to see when firday comes up to count those alories, but I did not have what is left in my fridge today I wanted to wake up this morning but got coffee instead, now I need to get going on my housework, I find a clean house leades to clean eating, but it is tough the kids are home and it is trashed.

garnetrising
07-28-2014, 03:05 PM
Diane: At least you were able to enjoy the health benefits even if the workout itself seemed to be discombobulated. The day I took off from working out saw a jump on the scale, too, but it was expected given that my muscles were finally able to get a rest.

Uber: You make me blush. I don't really think of myself as being particularly impressive. But you're right. I am rather active and I find that I love being active. In some ways, it feels like it goes against the introverted type of person I've always been until you stop and think about the fact that when I walk Luna, it's just her and me. When I swim my laps, I'm usually alone. I guess it's just proof that you can be an introvert and active all at the same time. :D

Also, I want to give you and Martini such big hugs. I felt that way about myself for such a long time. There are still times I feel that way. But I'm finding that it is getting easier to tell the inner critic to shut up. Slowly.

Sanshir: Hang in there. With time and persistence, you'll start to see those losses eventually. Good luck getting the house clean today.


Down to 223.6 lbs this morning. I also saw as low as 222.8 lbs but I'm not going to count it for the same reason I held off on my lowest low from last week. Here's to hoping the day continues to be as great as the morning has started off being.

LotusMama
07-29-2014, 10:37 AM
Hello, All:

I am going to post quickly before I go to work. I have been struggling--I have had a few days where I have just gone off the deep end in terms of food. It is disappointing. But, I can't give up. I feel like if I could just get back into the groove, I could get some momentum going.

This morning, I got up and walked 4 miles; it was very enjoyable!

Hope everyone is doing well! And, welcome, Sanshir; glad you are joining us!

Slashnl
07-29-2014, 11:55 AM
Hi all! Finally feeling like I'm back in the groove today. I went to body pump this morning and it was a really good workout. She changed the program from what it had been the last few weeks, so that was nice. It's good to do new things. We had a lot of rain last night, though, so the gym was really humid. So sweaty....

LotusMama: Sorry you are having a tough time. But don't give up!!! You can get back on track and put all of this in the past. 4 miles is great!!

Garnet: Sounds like you had a great morning! Good for you! The scale seems to be doing well for you, so that's good. I laugh at how you discipline yourself as to what you'll allow yourself to record about your weight. I only laugh because I do similar stuff. Ha!

Sanshir: Good luck with the housekeeping. I noticed that mine is not looking very stellar right now. It is not my thing at all......

Uber: I totally understand what you are saying about the feelings of worthlessness. But you have to start looking for the positives. You are losing again and getting everything back under control. If nothing else, remember that you are an amazing voice to hear on this forum, and we appreciate your thoughts and your support! You are more than worthy!

ubergirl
07-29-2014, 12:46 PM
DianeGlad you're back in the groove. Frustrating about the bounce, it's most likely just the after effects of traveling. Thanks for your kind words also. I should say that I'm really not as miserable as I made it sound. I have a lot of positives in my life and most of the time my self-image is good-- but I a big family, many of whom depend upon me, and I have a tendency to shove my own concerns into last place-- which makes me feel terrible. Fortunately, in spite of my rantings here, I actually am blessed with a fairly upbeat disposition and I'm rarely down in the dumps.

LotusMama Please know that we are here for you even if you are struggling-- it's all part of the journey. You wanna hear something kind of sad? Last May and June I lost about 15 lbs, and got down to the weight I'm at right now. I was curious about what happened to me... because I couldn't really remember why I dropped off after losing 15 lbs. So I searched and I actually found my final 3FC post from June 2013. In it, I said "help, I'm bingeing, and I'm scared..." Well, here's the sad thing-- all these really supportive people jumped in and said a lot of really nice things to me, but I never came back and read them. I just drifted away and it took me 11 months to finally get back in the groove. ELEVEN MONTHS!!!!!!! So, that's my word for you. It's okay if you are struggling. We're here for you and the only bad thing is quitting entirely. Take it from me.

garnetrising
07-29-2014, 03:30 PM
LotusMama: Doing your four mile walk this morning is a great step toward putting yourself firmly back into that groove you want to be in. Sometimes, even if we're struggling with our food, putting in that effort with exercise can help keep us from completely losing it. The same can be said in reverse, too. :)

Diane: Changing your workouts up, especially in that sort of a setting, can be so helpful. Glad it was more engaging than last time. Even if it was humid. When there is such a big drop so quickly, I'd rather temper than get over excited. I figure if it is a real drop, it'll be there the following morning and if it isn't, then I haven't let myself get my hopes up. It's something I'm really proud that I'm able to do now. All the other previous times I've lost weight, I've ridden the emotional roller-coaster of day-to-day weight fluctuations.

Uber: You always give the best advice and I love that you are able to be strong and positive even when you're having to deal with all of life's complications. I think going back and finding that last post, giving you a better idea of what happened will also help in the long run. And if you ever find yourself in a similar position, you know we'll be here and we'll have your back. :D


As I expected, my weight bounced back up to 223.6 lbs today. It even showed 224.0 lbs one of the times I checked. I don't know if I'd mentioned, but I try to weigh three times in a row to ensure an accurate estimation of weight because we all know digital scales have a tendency to fluke out on us sometimes.

I've been thinking about why in the world my weight always seems to rebound on my weigh-in day and I think I've come to an answer. Mondays are a really busy day for us at work. Especially given that I have Sat & Sun off. I can't help but wonder if it is that first day back at work with the added physical excursion so late at night that causes my body to weigh higher Tuesday mornings.

LaurieDawn
07-29-2014, 04:27 PM
Forcing myself to write here. I have been following, but have not responded in the last few days.

Martini - You're exactly right. The issue was not about pizza nearly as much as it was about insecurity with being loved. And that's a deep-seeded fear -- planted in childhood and well-watered in my first marriage. Without turning this into a counseling session, I have to admit that I have allowed myself to become unmoored emotionally.

So, much love to everyone whose words resonated with me and are continuing to resonate with me emotionally. I have stopped weighing and ate yesterday in that desperate, can't-stop, need-to-stuff-every-calorie-possible-in way that is the worst. I stopped eating, multiple times, but it was really painful each time. And I think I have decided that I am not stuffing emotions. I am punishing myself with food. Cuz it's really painful to eat like that, both physically and emotionally.

I need to figure out the depression stuff again. Now. Without commenting on how other people deal with depression or how they should deal with depression (a topic which is NONE of my business), I know that I am not handling mine well right now. My husband said to me that I am "never" at home. He spends far more time at home than I do, but I have a job that demands far more hours (he works for a school district and manages to squeeze in three-hour lunches regularly, as well as getting home around 4:00 most days) and I have been working out on almost a daily basis. I could do morning work-outs, but that would just necessitate me sleeping earlier, so it wouldn't increase my home time with him. Instead of ignoring random, short-sighted comments like that, I have been spending time at home, getting angrier and angrier at him and risking my job and my fitness/weight goals. Again, punishing myself and widening my punishment to include him.

So, this is my declaration. I will stop doing deliberately destructive things. I will eat the food that I know makes me feel good. I will re-focus on my work. And I will get in my work-outs. It won't be easy, as I now have a visceral repulsion to food that he has trashed and that are my staples. (This is my head playing games with me, I know.) I also have gone to the gym and been unable to get through more than a half-hearted work-out, so I am going to start with walking over the next few days to shake the horrible mood. I am happy to share my time with my husband. But he doesn't own it. And, as he is now well-aware, taking away my mechanisms for coping with the ever-lurking depression is not fun for him either. I refuse to be the woman who cries every night when no one is looking because she is always so miserable.

LaurieDawn
07-29-2014, 04:44 PM
Also, I crave the fat and sugar combination desperately right now. I won't engage in food porn by saying exactly what I want, but it's in my head, and I can't wait to escape from my office to indulge. And I won't. I need to white-knuckle it. Not just for my weight goals, but much more importantly, for my need to feel like I'm in control of something. So I pledge that I will NOT have a bite of anything traditionally considered "dessert" for this entire evening. It will not be easy.

Also, sorry for being such a downer right now.

martini
07-29-2014, 05:11 PM
It looks like this is becoming a hard, hard week for a lot of people so I wanted to quickly poke in and say hello. Hang in there, everyone!

ubergirl
07-29-2014, 05:14 PM
:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:We interrupt this broadcast for a very important message. :carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

Uber is in the 250s... meaning, I'm at my lowest official recorded weight since Jan 2012 which was the first time I stepped on the scale after my regain! It took me two years to accomplish this, but I FINALLY did it!