Hey ladies!
I feel as though I havent posted anything on the boards recently, although I check them frequently haha
This thread is mainly about the fact that I realized how much I think about my body and how I look. I was thinking about this today because I'm still having issues seeing what others see. I have strangers comment on how "tiny" "slim" "thin" and "small" I am. I use the "quotes" because even though I realize that the reason I don't see my body in a true light a lot of the time is all a mental block, I have trouble believing peoples comments. It doesnt really bother me though, because in my heart I know I've lost weight, I just want my head to catch up! haha It definitely feels good for people to say that I look healthy/ask me for advice, even though they dont know my weight loss past.
I think about my appearence quite often, now that I've lost weight. Not only do I take extra care getting ready in the morning, but even the slightest things like being conscious of my facial expressions and posture cross my mind. It doesnt help that I work in gym surrounded by mirrors and good looking men...lol
Do any of you ladies experience this constant thought in the back of your head? Have you moved past this phase?
Another thing is that I'm finally starting to loosen up and enjoy the attention I seem to be getting post weight loss. This is just another mental battle for me, trying to be less shy.
Oh yes, I feel this way too. Mostly I see myself, mostly. I *think* I see myself completely accurately, but I must not because I can't fathom the fact that this week I fit into all the size "small" shirts in my closet and that I purchased at a thrift store. That's mind boggling to me as I do not see myself as small enough to wear a size small shirt. And a woman at work took me aside and told me that though I had done a fantastic job, it's time to stop losing now.
And I hate all the mirrors at the gym! Though I hate them a little less now.
I too have started getting pickier about random body things that didn't used to bother me. I'll find myself picking on my hair, my nose, my eyes, my smile, my knees...it's ridiculous.
Mostly though, I'm very happy with what I have done. I think it's just that this chapter is coming to an end and there's no more hope for change, if that makes sense. After this last 10 pounds, I can no longer say, "Oh, in X pounds I'll be happy with ______"
I'm still a work in progress, but I feel far more self-conscious than I ever did before. On good days I feel great and confident, but on less-than-good days I feel like I look like Chris Farley on a bad day. I've been around this size for several months so people are used to seeing me and I don't get comments.
It doesn't help that I live in Japan and can't even squeeze into size "LL" shorts at juniors' stores despite wearing a 4/6 and universally a size "S" in the United States.
As far as the image in the mirror goes, she hasn't changed since she was 10.
And I mean that. Even when I went from 150 lbs to 190 lbs, I didn't see a difference in myself. I don't see a difference between 190 lbs and down to 140 lbs either. I really have to concentrate in order to see the changes. I know I've lost weight, I can see it in my before and after pictures but, honestly, if you took away the scale and the pictures, I'd think I look exactly the same.
As far as other people go, nothing they say affects me in the least. They could call me "beautiful" but that's what they used to say anyway, when I initially started losing weight, everyone was commenting on how I've lost weight. Now that I'm almost 60 lbs down, they are more enthusiastic but my brain thinks it's all relative.
I don't know when I'll be able to see myself as good looking. I really hope that my inner self will one day come to the realization that all the hard work has paid off.
I don't know when I'll be able to see myself as good looking. I really hope that my inner self will one day come to the realization that all the hard work has paid off.
That's why I love coming to these boards. It makes me feel less...umm...crazy. At the gym yesterday a guy who has been helping me with some equipment said, "You have thin calves". I just stared at him like he was crazy. Right now I am stuck. I do see myself smaller in the mirror and in pictures but I still feel like I am more overweight than I am and still not happy with where I am at. Basically, I'm proud of how much I have lost but still not happy that I have more to go. And I feel like these last 10 or so pounds are sticking out like a sore thumb on my body. More so than the extra 50 I started out with.
Even when I went from 150 lbs to 190 lbs, I didn't see a difference in myself.
As far as other people go, nothing they say affects me in the least. They could call me "beautiful" but that's what they used to say anyway
^^^^^^^^^^ this^^^^^^^^^^^^
People told me I was beautiful at 192, and they do now, it sometimes feels like they are lying to me!
I am so glad I found this post! I am still about 20-25 lbs from my overall goal, but when I look in the mirror, all I see is this fat, overweight nasty chick!
I was up to 192, and now am 164 and I almost feel I was more confident in myself at 180! People tell me all the time how great I am doing, how I really need to see myself for how I look, but I just can't.
I don't know what my issue is! It is like getting the best of me too!
I think with weight loss it takes a long time to discover yourself after you lose the weight. It took me forever to not see myself as a fat guy anymore. I still have self-esteem issues and still see things differently than people see me. It's just something you work on every day.
A realization about my obsession
It is like getting the best of me too!
