Weight Loss Support - I Think I Have Body Image Issues...

Call Me Stephanie
02-09-2011, 04:02 AM
I don't know if this is allowed... please tell me if it's not. But I'm having so many issues with my body image. I think I look HUGE but everyone keeps telling me I don't look that big... I just don't know what to believe anymore...

Based on these pictures (which I just took today) about how much do you think I weigh? I'm going to take my tickers off for now, but please don't snoop to see other posts please... and please be honest. I'd like to know what the honest thought is, not out of pity or anything.

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/167589_10150150455723169_649888168_7952216_4755537 _n.jpg
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/168741_10150150455628169_649888168_7952214_3535979 _n.jpg

Nola Celeste
02-09-2011, 06:14 AM
It's so tough to tell what someone else weighs by looking. How and where someone carries her weight, what clothes she wears, the angle of the camera, her proportion of muscle to fat, her height...there are just soooo many factors that I swear I've seen people on this site who weigh a hundred pounds more than me, but look smaller than I do in photos.

When I look at your photos--and I'm not saying this as false flattery--I see someone with beautiful skin, an adorable haircut, and a great, iconoclastic sense of style before I see "heavy." People tell you that you don't look big because there are more eye-catching characteristics about you than your weight.

I just put up my first-ever 3FC photos (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/mini-goals/225214-today-only-nola-celeste-10-off-pictures.html#post3702356). To me, you look about my size, probably a little smaller, but you're also a little taller (I knew that without looking--you just look taller and I'm a short critter :D). If I had to guess, I'd say you weighed about what I do, but wear a smaller size because you have a couple of inches on me.

I just passed 210 heading the right way, so that'd be my guess--around 205, 210 based on what I see when I look at my own body and knowing what I weigh.

You're also clearly a good bit younger than my 41-year-old self, though, so regardless of what you weigh, you're going to carry it differently. :)

02-09-2011, 06:17 AM
People tell you that you don't look big because there are more eye-catching characteristics about you than your weight.

Totally agree.

02-09-2011, 08:25 AM
i'm going to guess 254 but i must say for an over weight person you carry you're weight extremely well. you are very curvy and not lumpy and your proportioned well. stop stressing!

02-09-2011, 08:48 AM
I was going to say the same thing - you carry your weight very well. You look very shapely and proportionate. (And on an unrelated topic - cute pixie cut! That is not an easy haircut to wear well!)

02-09-2011, 09:15 AM
You are adorable! Love the hair! I'll guess about 230ish? My highest weight was 250 and I'm 5'4'' (a lot shorter than you) and I looked a lot heavier than you do. If I'm wrong, that's no surprise. "guessing" isn't my strong trait! But like the others say, you have gorgeous skin, and a trendy hair style! I think you are too cute! ;) Definitely stop stressing!

02-09-2011, 09:31 AM
You look like a red-headed Jean Seberg. That's what's distracting everyone: Your marvelous face, with its very evenly proportioned features. You have EXACTLY the right haircut for it. You therefore have a pretty good instinct about what suits you. And also, I hope you tip your hairdresser well.

[This is Jean Seberg, in case you were wondering. Google her & look for photos of her during her "Breathless" period, particularly in the striped boatneck sailor shirt.]

I also have an oval face, fairly slender neck & small hands, which, in my case, took a long time to puff up to the dimensions of my morbidly obese body, and which used to make some people think I weighed less than I did. Just some of them. Not everyone was easily distracted. (I was; I kinda forgot about my body for years & lived from the neck up, like a brain in a jar.) I'm guessing you're in the 260s. But do keep in mind, I am horrible at the weight-guessing thing, probably because I was in denial about my own weight for so many years & deliberately cultivated ignorance on the subject.

02-09-2011, 09:56 AM
Asking "How much do you think I weigh" is a loaded question, kinda like "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" So I am not even going to attempt a guess. I just want to say that I think you are beautiful. You should lose weight for your health and confidence, not because what others do or do not think of you.

02-09-2011, 10:55 AM
I'm not good at guessing weights.

From the picture I can see you are plus size, and seem pear shape? I am apple. You wear yourself well -- a good hair cut, excellent skin, flattering clothes for your shape. It's a cute plus size, and I'd date you if I were in the dating market.

I don't know what your confidence level is at and if it matches the photos. For me that was always the turn on/ turn off more so than plus size or not plus size.

You are on this board, so I'm assuming you are trying to get fitter/in better shape. I don't know the goal -- maybe you want to be a smaller plus size, or get out of plus size, or work on body image and mental health, or get pregnant, recover from ED, or be a fitness model or...

I don't really know what you goal is here. I don't really care either. I mean that kindly, not in a mean way. :) I just figure you know your own biz. I don't pick your goal. YOU pick your goal. And I'm willing to accept you however you are and try to support you as best I can in your process as long as your goal isn't harmful to you or others.

That's part of MY process here -- to be accountable to others and lend a hand or leg up in their process, because I need hands and legs up sometimes in MY process. My goal is to drop 100 lbs, and it's going to be a long process! :)

So... what's the reason behind the current body image crisis? Why are you picking at your body? What is it you are unhappy with?


AZ Sunrises
02-09-2011, 11:02 AM
I'm not sure, but substantially thinner than me...and yes, I'm jealous.

02-09-2011, 11:06 AM
"You wear yourself well" ... what a great phrase! Around here we say "she keeps herself nice"

And the OP does.

02-09-2011, 11:15 AM
I'm really bad at guessing weight, but I think you are REALLY REALLY beautiful, georgeous skin, hair and cute outfit! ... and you have GREAT proportions- (my butt and thighs are amazingly big, seriously epic :smile:)

If you like reading please by the Body for Life for Women book (Amazon ships it immediately.) It should help you with body image, confidence, and weight loss.

02-09-2011, 11:55 AM
I honestly have no clue. Lower 200s, I'd guess. But when I look at the photos of you, your weight isn't the first thing that catches my eye. You're a pretty lady. Your hair is amazing (I love the colour.) I bet you look even better when you're smiling! And you have curves in all the right places.

02-09-2011, 12:25 PM

02-09-2011, 12:31 PM
Why does it matter how big people think you are? Although you're still certainly plus-sized, what matters is that: first you are confident, stylish, and supremely presentable; second, you are working out and dieting in order to achieve a thinner -- healthier -- body.

Worrying too much about your body "image" makes weight loss not about the body you have the body they see. Would you stop trying to lose weight if a fairy granted you the superpower of looking like a photoshopped Jessica Alba all the time, while your real body, how good you feel, your health profile, remained the same? I wouldn't.

02-09-2011, 12:51 PM
Because you are posting this, I would say you do have body image issues. That sounds sort of mean and blunt, but I say it with all due respect, as someone who also has some serious body image issues.

Here's the thing: it's quite possible that you can lose weight and still feel bad about your body. I know, because I was a size 8, normal-BMI, lovely, thin girl for years and thought I was the most disgusting, overweight person on the planet. I have since gained about fifty pounds, and while I still really don't like my weight, I feel a lot better about myself than I used to because I worked on my self esteem.

So, like everyone else has been saying, you are gorgeous. You are a gorgeous, heavy person, and my guess is you know other people who are gorgeous and heavy and you don't think negatively about them...so, there's no reason for you to think negatively about yourself. :hug: Just remember, you can and should love yourself no matter what you look like, no matter what you're wearing, no matter what your weight.

02-09-2011, 12:56 PM
Since you asked, my guess was that you weigh around 195 lbs.
But, the number on the scale is not everything. I do recall from my younger (and thinner) days that people were always surprised by my weight because I looked slimmer. I don't know if the cliche about "heavy bones" applies, who knows.

You are so cute. Although I cannot see your entire body, I would agree that you carry your weight very well. You don't look big to me at all.

One thing I would like to add: I would ditch the horizontally striped T. I would scream when I see all the horizontally striped tops in a PLUS-sized section (are designers complete idiots?) The stripes will widen you up visually, so avoid them. At least that's what I am doing myself. Vertical stripes are fine, horizontal ones not so much.

02-09-2011, 01:00 PM
In general, people don't know weight of other people. Even going to the doctors office and getting weighed by people who weigh people all day long, I always have to tell them where to put the slider on the scale.

Also someone can weigh more than they appear by the amount of muscle they have. Also, the weight distribution of someone can cause them to look heavier or lower than someone of a similar weight. I've seen differences of 40-50 lbs between people who wear the exact same size.

I'd say just keep doing what you are doing and don't worry about the number on the scale.

02-09-2011, 01:11 PM
I'll answer the question, I think it's something a lot of us want to know, as how we're perceived is often as important as the reality.

My first thought was 250, the same as me when I started, but with a better shape. The I noticed you're a bit shorter, so I'd say 240. If you'd asked on the street I'd have said 210-220 as not to hurt your feelings. :-)

You definitely don't look flabby, and you look very healthy.

02-09-2011, 01:13 PM
You seem proportionate to me, even if you do want to lose weight. I think it's hard to categorize someone as HUGE when they are proportionate, no matter what their weight. I am guessing you are focusing in on areas you'd like to work on instead of viewing the whole picture that everyone else sees when they look at you.

02-09-2011, 01:16 PM
Every female I have talked to about this topic has body issues, even the ones that could be bikkini models. (ESPECIALLY THOSE!!) Before you jump on me I know not all females do, just talking about my experience here.

I suspect a large percentage of males do too, although very few will admit it.

Chalk it up to another way our society is screwed up.

I'll be happy to guess your weight, though I have no clue or experience in these matters. :D I'll say 195. Happy?:p

02-09-2011, 01:16 PM
my guess is 220. I wish I was that size! lol

02-09-2011, 01:21 PM
You and I have exactly the same body proportions based on your photos. My guess is you could weigh as much as 270 and as little as 240 lbs. The reason why I say that is because you carry your weight all over like I do and my guess is that you were not a total couch potato all your life so you still have some muscle tone. I would say your goal weight could be 140-165 lbs. I can carry 165 and look fine but for BMI purposes I need to weigh 140 lbs.

You are a pretty girl but like others say here: we ALL have body image issues. How could we not in this "sick" culture we live in? Think health, think movement, think "outside the cultural box".

PS I used to wear my hair like that too. It's a fun style.

02-09-2011, 10:11 PM
you're a few inches taller than me and look fairly close to my starting size..so I would guess low 200s mainly because of your height.

I also agree with the person who mentioned horizontal stripes. The shirt is very cute but whenever I tried horizontal I just felt uncomfortable.
You do dress very well though....much better than I used to.

Call Me Stephanie
02-10-2011, 04:19 AM
Thank you everyone. I need to stop worrying about the numbers so much. I've been watching too much reality shows about being over weight. I see them at my weight and think "am I so big that I should be on a weight show for my extreme weight?" or of women getting weight loss surgery... I look in the mirror and think I'm not really that big... but my Mom once asked if I considered WLS... and Ugh... I need to just stop. Not everyone is the same.

LoL Yes, seeing horizontal strips in plus sized sections drives me insane too... but I needed a new shirt and it was only like $5... I think the cut of it made me feel and look skinner though.

Here is another picture of what I was when I first started trying to get healthy:
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/167817_10150150500798169_649888168_7953168_2276096 _n.jpg

So even by 20lbs I think I look a good deal skinnier, the scale just doesn't want to be nice to me.

I have half a mind to change my goal from a number to a size/feeling... but I guess you need a number for a ticker haha

02-10-2011, 09:50 AM
:hug: Stephanie, I think you're doing great!
I can really see a difference in your photos. (I think the striped shirt looked good on you - not everyone can pull that off.)'

Keep up the good work!! Getting healthy now, and keeping your healthy habits for life will be an inspiration to ALL of your friends and family. And your children will benefit the most by having a healthy, happy mom as a role model, teaching them healthy habits and cheering them on into her old age!

Yay Stephanie!!!:carrot:

02-10-2011, 12:25 PM
You and I are very similar in body types - and hair cut, though I haven't found the courage to go as red as you (I'm very slowly working my way from brown to redder...). I'm two inches shorter than you and I never would have guessed you weigh what you do - so I think you carry your weight very well. I know that's such a cliche and not really a great thing to hear, but I suspect that's why your friends don't feel you're "big" - you really don't look it! Sometimes I let outside influences change the way I feel about myself - let's be honest, who doesn't? - but then I stand in front of the mirror (or better yet, take a photo) and I realize yes, I am heavier than I should be for my optimal health, but I'm really working on it and I'm getting fitter and making better food choices for my health and in turn the scale will reflect that. I have a horrible relationship with the scale so I'm trying to move my focus away from that number and onto how my clothes fit, how well I can get through a spinning class, how easily I can run up a couple of flights of stairs - y'know? Alternative measures... :)

Call Me Stephanie
02-10-2011, 06:30 PM
julesp313: I like that idea very much! I like myself. I need to just stop obsessing. I'm not losing weight because I don't like myself so much as wanting to be healthy for a role model for my daughter... plus I'm tired of trying to find cute clothes in my size!

I think I'll only go so low as a size 12 (whatever weight that is). I like being plus sized though I really don't think 12 should be considered plus sized *eye roll*

02-10-2011, 06:40 PM
I was really happy when I got to a size 12 and would love to be back there again! That's my goal, in fact!

Call Me Stephanie
02-12-2011, 01:14 AM
Awesome. ^_^