I was on Cloud 9 after what happened to me last night.......read here for further reference http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...-i-little.html and shared it with my co-worker who has also been succesful at weight loss.
We both know the same trainer so she was able to relate....Imagine my shock when her repsonse was ....."Imagine if he had seen me"! and " You don't even look as if you have lost so much weight"!
Why do people have to be so mean?! Why couldn't she congratulate me? This is the same co-worker who offered to bring me a cupcake when she found out that I made my goal! I guess I will have to keep her at a distance from now on but it is going to be hard as it is against my nature to do that!
I think some people are just very competitive and it brings out the worst in them....or, she's just plain jealous of you. I would flat out let her know that this was an undeserved comment and I'd also tell her flat out not to bring me "treats." I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but I hope you didn't let it get to you because that was exactly her intention....to get to you and sabotage you into giving in. That's at least my interpretation.
IMO the ONLY reason someone would say something that obnoxious is because they are totally jealous (and unfortunately insecure). I hope that you can see that this is actually a double compliment!! Take it in stride Slim CB - you are a threat to her. Next time she brings you a cupcake smoosh it in her face.
Whenever you see this person, you should imagine a bright yellow sign hanging around her neck: "Caution."
Her actions are proving that she is not to be trusted with your personal confidences about your feelings & your successes.
You have to hold those close to you, to protect them & yourself. Share them with people you can trust. But not with this chick. She has it in for you, because she thinks that when you win & do well, she loses out somehow. She has that zero-sum game thinking. Which isn't true. But because she has it, she will try to cut you down.
Until she stops that, keep your guard up & don't share much with her. Just the superficial, friendly stuff. Because you've got to get along in the workplace, or you'll dread coming to work, and you don't need that. So just keep it light & easy & remember that "Caution" sign.
As I was reading the beginning of your post, I wondered if this was the "cupcake lady" from your previous post. Imagine my lack of surprise when you said it was.
Avoid her, or at least avoid weight/food/fitness related topics around her. When she tries to bring them up, deflect and change the subject. Don't think about her, even - chances are you will never understand where she's coming from, so thinking about this can only bring you down.
You've done great! Don't let the comments of others steal your joy.
Ohh....you girls are the best!!! Thanks a lot! I feel sooo much better!
I am definitely going to use this as a stepping stone to greater things. I am not going to let her negativity stop me and I am going to take all of your advice. We even have a 5K together tomorrow and I have decided not to run with her. I am just going to turn up and run my own race. People like that should not be given the time of day!
Seagirl - I will definitely stop sharing my weight issues with her. Initially I thought we could encourage each other but clearly she has another agenda.
luckymommy - Trust me, I was tempted to go straight to her and tell her that I did not appreciate her comments. But I decided to let it slide, there are many ways to fight a battle.
flippychick - LOL!! U cracked me up!
saef - your posts always comfort me. I will defintiely put up that mental "caution" sign!
Some people are just mean. Or, insecure, which then manifests as mean. I feel sorry for the insecurity, but I don't have the time or the energy to take their meanness and try to help them sort it out. So, I've gotten rid of a lot of mean people in my life in the last couple of years.
This person is seriously jealous of you and obviously very insecure about her own body.
Whilst I try to be nice to everyone, for your own sanity I really agree with the others that she is to be avoided in future. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, and all that!
There is a lady at the gym who used to be really friendly to me when I first started this journey, she encouraged me whilst telling me how big she used to be and how she got so small. This past few months she doesn't even acknowledge me anymore, looks straight past me and I have spent many a minute wondering what I did to her and why isn't she talking to me anymore. But, you know what, I realised that I think she's now jealous and feels threatened. I have made some very good friends at the gym and am considered a regular, all the instructors talk to me like a friend etc, and I don't think she likes that. However there is nothing I can do to change it, without actually confronting her, but I'm not the sort of person to do that, so I just have to accept that she has her own problems and worry about my own.
When things like that happen, at first they sting...they are meant to sting!
Then I usually step back and repeat the following words to myself like a mantra: "this is clearly NOT about me, this is about them".
It can be hard to be objective, but whether it is jealousy, self-esteem issues or other that woman's comment was about her own issues has not about you.
Def keep your distance and dont be compelled to stoop to her level
Cupcake Lady is to be avoided as much as possible in the future. I find that when dealing with those types of people, I am super nice and complimentary to their faces, all the while I am mocking them in my head. They gobble it up. Yes, I'm not a very nice person....