[Sarah Ann]

Kevin (husband) and I are just starting on the process of applying to become foster carers and are feeling rather lonely and unsupported. I know the local authority has to be careful but so far all we have had from them is negatives - like how awful the kids can be - how intrusive the process will be - have we considered how it might damage our marriage - etc, etc.

I would love it if anyone who has any experience in this either as a foster carer, a social worker. as a fostered child or in any other capacity could get in touch.

[tupperware queen]

I think they are really tough with you at first to make sure you really want to do it. i would think you will be able to find a great deal about it in the internet. I haven't any personal experience but have friends who foster.

[geneve]

One of my friends fosters and she says that it IS really tough BUT there can be great rewards.
I think they do have to be sure you want to do it for all the right reasons and won't drop out.
My friends biggest bit of advice was: don't be fooled by the kids when they first come to you, she says there is a honeymoon period while they get used to you and then they carry on doing what they were before and try to test you....if you let them.
She also strongly recommended fostering babies...she did this several times just for short periods...she says it would be very hard if you had no kids of your own, but if you KNOW you will be able to part with them you can really amek a difference to a familys future.
Good luck
Geneve

[Lollybird]

Hi Sarah,

My aunt and uncle have been foster carers, mainly for babies and toddlers, for about 15 years now, and although they're close to retirement, they have no plans to give up. They have some kids for a few days, on respite care, and others stay for up to 2 or 3 years ... I think they found the same as you at first, that the social services were tough with them, but once they'd been through it a few times - proved themselves, so to speak - they found they were very trusted and really appreciated. Sometimes it has been really hard, but I know they think it's worth it. You're doing a very special thing. Good luck!

Lolly

[Sarah Ann]

Thank you, everyone, for your posts.

DH and I knew that the assessments and training would be tough - and its lovely to hear about other people who have come out of the other side of it and are enjoying being foster carers. I think the social services paint a bit of a black picture about it all to deter waiverers right from the start.

If anyone else has either been fostered, is a foster carer or knows of a positive experience with fostering I would love to hear from you. Negative experiences are also good in their own way - they serve as a bit of a warning.