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Old 01-10-2014, 10:44 PM   #92
Fiona W
rockin' my 50s!
 
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: from Houston, TX ; now in Washington DC area
Posts: 725

S/C/G: 351/272/130

Height: 5'3"

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I'm kind of in Betsy's mode today: not wanting to do a long posting. Today was a more calories day—as opposed to the semi-fast days—so I had cream in my coffee, four cups altogether instead of the usual two, and yes I had my magic muesli (not ready to give it up just yet), and then roast beef for dinner. My eating plan is just how I like it: boring and not requiring much thought. I think too much about everything else, so it's nice not to think about food. I've done my time with thinking about food, feeling guilty about food, obsessing about food, so these days I feel liberated from that prison: food is just fuel for me.

As for exercise, it's a bit frustrating not to be able to walk or try out the "Walk Away the Pounds" DVD (didn't get a chance to even try it before the angina hit), but I have to wait until I get a repeat stress test and get cleared for intense cardio. And that won't happen until later in the month. Meanwhile I'm doing my regular nightly leg exercises: they're a good habit now, and make such a difference in how easy it is to climb stairs.

I'm kind of frustrated with my Belgian friend, too, because she won't commit herself to coming to visit me in September. She had a horrible childhood with a mean mother who thwarted everything she wanted to do, so she's afraid if she says "oui, septembre" to me, her mother will rise from the grave and somehow prevent our getting together. But I realize that I have a hangup, too, about wanting everything to be definite. So I have to learn how to hang loose and figure if her visit is meant to be, it will happen. Same deal with the kittens I want: I can't control when my breeder's female cat will come into heat, or when she'll get pregnant, or what the kittens will be like, so there's no point in obsessing about it.

At least my artistic life is going well. I'm one of a half-dozen participants on a collage blog that has a weekly theme, and this week's theme (announced today) is a fun one: we're supposed to pick one book or magazine from which to make our collages. I've chosen the January issue of National Geographic, and I'm having fun figuring out which pages to cut up and how to combine them into interesting patterns. I'm reading a cool book, Geometry of Design: maybe I'll get far enough into it to use some geometric principles in this week's collages.

Well, I guess this is sort of a long posting after all. Sorry I'm not up for the usual individual greetings, but I'm thinking of all of you fondly. And especially I'm rooting for you, Betsy, to get a nice long streak of being free from emotional eating. Just remember not to fight the urges: separate yourself from them, observe them, and let them pass on into the oblivion from whence they came. They'll get weaker and less frequent as the days go by, I promise you that.
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 12

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Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14
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