I recently went to the doctor, and when they weighed me, I was almost 20 lbs heavier than I was a year ago. I was shocked. Sitting in the waiting room waiting for my doctor to come in, I was just looking in the mirror, still completely shocked. After the appointment I compared my now self to pictures from a year ago, and realized I really had blown up. Even when I was small I could never get small enough, and now that I blew up. My self esteem took a ****. I felt like I wasn't good enough for my boyfriend. Constantly comparing myself to thinner women, like I would never be that. Then, about a week ago, I woke up, and decided that I was going to be one of those women. Since then I've been on a 1200 calorie, low carb, no wheat diet. I'm starting to exercise and tone up, although a little at a time, and most importantly, I'm getting excited for the future. Because now I know that in one year, I'm going to be a whole new me. I needed that sadness to get me to realize I was throwing myself a pity party.
*~Love and Light~*