Reading all your posts sounded as if I could have written most of them myself. I'm in my mid-40's and even though my boyfriend of 15 months says he loves me very much and finds me sexually appealing, I have to wonder sometimes. First, he's 16 years younger than I am (he is only 5 years older than my son), and during our first 10 months we were in a long distance relationship. From the moment we met I fell head over heels in love with him, and even though we only met as a fluke when he stopped in my city to rest before moving to Florida, his overnight stay turned into him staying with me 3 weeks and vowing to move back to be with me. He said "I love you" way before I did. We spent hours and hours talking on the phone every day we were apart, and times I went down to visit him we amazing and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. It was wonderful and I felt amazing. I could have lived like that for the rest of my life and not changed anything. I figured I'd found someone who could enjoy sex as much as I do and because he's so much younger, he could keep up. lol
Well, about 5 months ago he finally did make it to live with me and for the last 2 1/2 months things have changed significantly. To make a long and somewhat unpleasant story short, my boyfriend is an alcoholic and was actively drinking until almost 3 months ago when he began AA. He has had 2 relapses (just 1 day each) in the last couple of weeks (his sister committed suicide and his guilt was eating him up and he ran to what he has always done to numb his pain). In any event, since he's been in AA our once amazing sex life has become almost non-existent and it's breaking my heart. Now, I feel like a hideous slob because of my weight, even though he's said from day 1 that he loves my body. I have these huge doubts that he could only bring himself to have sex with me when he was drinking because he really finds me too unattractive. It's hurting my feelings and making me depressed - which is why I had my doctor put me back on Wellbutrin and Zoloft in an attempt to feel better - but I'm also driving him crazy with my insecurities! It's a no-win situation for either of us at this point. He claims he just hasn't been in the mood since he quit drinking, but I can't understand that from a 30-year old man!
Okay, so that's not actually a shorter version of our story...haha - but I guess what I wanted to say was that I totally understand the feelings of each of you. I only hope that as I continue to try and lose my unwanted weight, as the rest of you beautiful women do as well, that we will all be able to gain new confidence and self-esteem we've never had before. Not only will it be amazing for each of us - I have a feeling that it will be amazing for each of our relationships as well.
Good luck, ladies. I'm grateful to be here - just found this amazing place by accident while looking for information on Zoloft/Wellbutrin and came across a thread on here about depression and weight loss.
but have always felt uncomfortable being naked in front of anyone. My husband and I have been together for two years now and what used to be an active sex life is now practically nonexistent and it's all because of me. My depression and poor self esteem leave me pretty much uninterested in sex at all. This may be tmi but usually I just offer to give my husband oral so I don't have to have sex. I really just have no desire anymore. I find my husband as attractive as I ever have i just don't have any desire for some reason. I feel like something is wrong and those closest to me often say something must be. I'm only 20 shouldn't this be
This is sooooo me!
