So I need to deconstruct what happened today because I think it represents a lot of old habits that I need to break. Please feel free to comment (tough love always welcome) if you think I'm missing something.
1. Day went well, took sort-of-healthy lunch to work (not totally healthy because late and just threw in bag and out the door)
2. Didn't drink water during day because I had scheduled myself back-to-back
3. So by afternoon (3pm) dehydrated and hungry. Relying on mints to keep me going.
4. Students come to chat. All have issues that I feel I need to 'help' with. Now I am exhausted, hungry, thirsty. Then a final student appears with a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies. Get through meeting without ripping in to cookies.
5. Big snow storm when I get out of the office. Feeling stressed about getting home on time (45 minute commute on country roads) and not going in to the ditch. Eat ***FIVE*** cookies within about three minutes (yes, while driving in snowstorm....)
6. Get home late. Dinner not made and no ideas, kids haven't eaten and crazy-hungry, spouse is away. Bundle kids in car (snowstorm passed) and go to mcdonalds (parenting police can judge me here).
7. Snack on random mcd's items as I feed kids dinner. Drink water so feel not quite so horrible. stomachache.
And that's where I am right at this moment. As I see it now I have two options:
A: I can get DS into bed and call it a day. Forget exercise for tonight (who can exercise with a brick of chicken mcnuggets and cookies in the tummy????) and do some work.
OR
B: I can get my lazy, tired, self-imposed stomachache butt on the elliptical after DS goes to bed and try to reconcile my day.
The key thing here -- and why I'm writing it all out -- is that I can see the triggers or at least most of the triggers for why I ate.
But what I don't understand is why I couldn't stop myself? What is that?
and then it rolled over me. Twice.
...
And that's where I am right at this moment. As I see it now I have two options:
A: I can get DS into bed and call it a day. Forget exercise for tonight (who can exercise with a brick of chicken mcnuggets and cookies in the tummy????) and do some work.
OR
B: I can get my lazy, tired, self-imposed stomachache butt on the elliptical after DS goes to bed and try to reconcile my day.
The key thing here -- and why I'm writing it all out -- is that I can see the triggers or at least most of the triggers for why I ate.
But what I don't understand is why I couldn't stop myself? What is that?
Go exercise.
I think you didn't stop yourself because you were hungry, tired and needed convenience. That's fine. Occasionally, it has to happen and I believe that forcing yourself to never eat out or have a cookie is a dangerous thing (the forbidden tastes better!).
Don't beat yourself up over what you've done today. Get up, brush yourself off and keep moving forwards. If you've identified the triggers for your eating pattern today, try to remove or avoid the triggers. Keep the water bottle with you all the time. Keep the packs of fruit or veggies or whatever in your office. Accept the cookies graciously, but have the one or two and offer them to the other people in the office.
I think you'll find that in the grand scheme of weight loss, an off day occasionally will not be a huge problem. Multiple off days in a week means that you have to reevaluate what you're doing.
Ah! Penance!
Yesterday I gave in and ate what I wanted to for dinner. I had a cheeseburger and fries. I ate a churro. I had no remorse. Why? Because I wanted it, and I ate it.
Today, penance.
I've kept within my calorie range, upped my fiber and took a long walk at lunch today and did some free weights at home tonight. Don't beat yourself up. It happens TO EVERYONE. Just dust off and move on.
PS-I'm impressed with your cookie eating/snow driving. I used to live in Colorado and would drink coffee, smoke and drive in winter storms. It takes a special kinda crazy to do anything but concentrate on the roads
I think the problem is that you just didn't plan well. Make it easy to be healthy. I noticed you didn't eat breakfast. It's really, really important because it starts your day off even rather than letting your blood sugar plunge making you crave bad things the rest of the day.
Take some time to create a plan that will fit in your life. It has to work for you or it doesn't work. I used to try and try to get up an hour early to work out. It never happened. I just can't do it. I can, however, get up early enough to make breakfast for myself. (Egg on a whole wheat english muffin with a touch of cheese) (I have been doing some quick mini-workouts in the am after the girls get on the bus and before I have to leave for work. 15 minutes here and there add up!)
Bring more than just lunch to work. Bring snacks too. Leftovers from dinner the night before or fruit or kashi fiber bars all work. Don't let yourself get ravishing. We make poor choices when we are hungry like that. I know I do! *wink*
Use a crock pot to help with dinner on busy nights. Or keep an emergency meal in the freezer for nights like that. Mine is frozen chicken tenders and frozen corn on the cob. I put the corn in the stockpot to steam and throw the tenders on the Foreman grill. 10 minutes later, we have chicken and corn. The girls like to add bbq sauce. It's not gourmet, but it's healthy, quick and we all like it. Cheaper too!
I've found when I eat a lighter dinner that exercise in the evenings is easier. If my tummy is just pleasantly full, an hour long bike ride with my favorite shows feels good. When I eat the wrong things or eat too much, then I feel sluggish and don't want to do anything.
These work for me. I don't know what would work for you. Just try it out. See it as an experiment. Obviously the other plan didn't work, so try something different. Eventually, you'll get the routine down.
Ok, so I'm still a newbie here. So maybe I'll get used to this eventually. But still. This community rocks.
In just a few posts, you guys nailed all the bits I wasn't willing (scared?) to put in to print. So here it is (forgive me for the extended navel gazing...).
1. I don't plan -- my lunch work or using a crockpot for dinner -- because I don't make my needs a priority. Always work, or kids, or something else.
2. Then I fall off the wagon (which, you are all right, it happens to everybody. But it happens to me a lot!)
3. When I fall off the wagon, I feel like a failure, stop exercising, start eating, and it goes right back to #2 to repeat the cycle.
So.
The only solution is to be a selfish you-know-what. Obviously.
PS-I'm impressed with your cookie eating/snow driving. I used to live in Colorado and would drink coffee, smoke and drive in winter storms. It takes a special kinda crazy to do anything but concentrate on the roads !
Haahahah - yup, cookie eating in a snowstorm. My very special skill. And, on really exciting days, I also manage to NOT drive in to the back of the many Mennonite (you would know Amish) buggies that travel the side of the road! I've yet to master dipping cookies in coffee for the morning commute but there are more months of winter to come.....
I don't know if this will help you - but I am the worst drive-thru junkie, and it's helped me.
Each week, I bring a small sack (like a Ziplock freezer bag) of apples and oranges/tangerines to the office with me at the start of the week.. kind of like an emergency fund. If I've waited too long and I get hungry, I eat an apple. If I need something sweet, I have an orange or tangerine.
It's only about 100 calories per fruit, they'll keep without refrigeration, and 1-2 peices is generally enough to take the edge off my hunger so I can make a responsible decision about what I am going to have for dinner (even if that thing turns out to be fast food, I am more likely to choose a healthier / lower calorie fast food option once I've reset my blood sugar/eaten something with a bit of fiber in it.
If your coworkers can stand the smell, a bag of microwave popcorn (low fat) is also about 350 calories, or you can buy the little 100 calorie bags.
Usually, it's enough to get me home to cook - or at least heat something up from the freezer). A couple other low-cal things I keep around the office that don't need refrigeration- diet soda in cans, black coffee or tea (I like strong doses of herbal teas when it's cold and I'm dehydrated), and chicken boullion cubes (1 cube = 1 mug of hot soup broth, for only 5-10 calories).
My "at home" quick meals include a can of veggie chili or a hearty soup, chicken breasts with frozen stir-fry veggie mix (both poached with water in a pan or steamed in microwave), and some frozen dinners I keep on hand for emergencies (usually the Michaelina's 1-dish meals, since they are cheap and the portions are small- if I need a bigger meal, I round them out with a salad or a plate of frozen veggies).
Take this for what it's worth though- every person's life is different. In my case, I am really not responsible for anyone else's dinners. And all my coworkers know when anyone is on a diet. If my blood sugar is low, I'm not above telling them I will stab them with a pen if they stand between me and my snacks. That might not go over as well with your students, but, I think most of them would understand if you said- you know, I've been going all day and haven't had a break. Do you mind if I take 5 minutes for a snack before I get light-headed? You are welcome to an apple, if you'd like one.
OH- PS: I'm a calorie counter, so one other thing I do is keep a short list of drive-thru items I've already checked the calorie counts to.
For example, I am most likely to drive by McDonald's on the way home... and I know an Egg McMuffin is 300 calories, a cheeseburger is 300 calories, a grilled chipotle chicken snack wrap is 360 calories, and a McDouble is 390.
If I go to Taco Bell, I know the "Fresco"-style crunchy taco is 150 calories, the grilled steak soft taco is 160, and the ranchero chicken taco is 170 calories...
So, if I eat a peice of fruit -or two- and I'm STILL craving fast food, there's are still a few drive-thru things I can order, just to get the taste of it, and keep the total for the meal (fruit included) below 500 calories.
Which isn't really a splurge at all. Even if I have already eaten all of my calories for the entire day, 500 extra isn't going to cause me to gain any weight, because my plan is based on creating a 1000 calorie a day deficit via diet and exercise (ie: 2 lbs of weight loss per week).
Your milage may vary.. making kids dinner is not my downfall, but working late (or being out of the house running errands all weekend with the husband) is. And no one wants to eat a salad while they are driving.
Totally new here, and you're going to think I'm a complete geek, but your post reminded me of an article I saw a few days ago on NPR's radiolab. There's apparently a scientific reason for this. I won't try to post the link, but apparently, willpower is a function of the prefrontal cortex. If the brain is overtaxed with a busy day, it's really easy to give into temptation because your brain is too tired to decide to do the right thing.
I'm a calorie counter too, and I do what ChickieChic does too with the fast food list. Fast food drive-thrus are just gonna happen!
Thump! Fell off the wagon...
Go exercise. 
