[LiannaKole]

I just had a rather startling epiphany - holy crap do I look different than a year ago!

I was looking at my school ID that I got a little over a year ago. I stared for a second because I barely recognized myself! I mean, it was definitely me, but I couldn't see my jaw bone, my chin blended in with my invisible jaw, my brow was heavier (with fat)... I was shocked. I had to double check by taking a pic of myself on my cell phone to make sure I wasn't imagining things. Nope, I'm different alright.

Like many people here, I've been struggling to actually see a difference in how I used to look and how I look now. I've never actually seen it or believed it really. Today I did for a little while.

I was probably 40 lbs heavier in that picture. It's...stunning to me. I never looked like that to myself. I always saw myself as looking...well, about like I do now. At almost 200 lbs, I saw myself as closer to 150-160. Wow.

I loved myself then and I love myself now, but I don't want to look like that or eat like that again. I love how I look now so much more - I can see my jaw, cheekbones, chin, and my dimples are bigger, actually. I think I'm cuter now for sure, mostly because I can see my actual face shape. I love cheekbones, and I like seeing my own.

I'm floored by it. I almost feel like one picture and/or the other has been doctored. But I know neither was, as I was there for both. I mean...there's a difference. I never saw it before. This is exciting!

Anyone else have an epiphany like that when you realized that yes, there has been a major change? How did that go? Does it last, or does the slightly-off body image settle in again?

[mybigwish]

This is awesome!!! And always a motivating part of dieting!!

Keep up the old work!!!!

My therapist even told me this as motivating way to get to your goal if you're trying to get back to a previous weight and a motivating way to not gain weight back as a picture collague

[rainbowstripe]

Lianna!! Awesome stuff! That's so so cool for you, I'm happy! I'm sure you look great and it's great you can see the difference for yourself! I'm still in the stages of knowing I look a bit different...but still kind of feeling the same if that makes any sense. Like when I was bigger I didn't think I was that much bigger.
Hopefully you'll be able to stick with this newfound sense of actually knowing and feeling smaller!

[sweetsmmr91]

I know exactly what you mean! When I was at my biggest I didn't feel like I was at my biggest, but looking back on pictures I'm like, "wow, I looked like that... really?" And looking at pictures now, I'm still far from where I want to be.. but in comparison to where I was it's quite a bit different. I think when I was 100 pounds heavier, I saw myself as I am now. I can't imagine what I'm going to think of myself when I'm 100 pounds thinner than I am now. Weird! haha

[livb528]

I was just thinking of this today! I had my husband take some pictures of me last night to hopefully record my progress along the way and I'm always so shocked when I see them. I KNOW I'm fat and that I need to lose a lot of weight but I guess I don't see myself like that. I'm just "normal" to myself.

[livb528]

And this is probably why I will do anything to avoid pictures. I don't like to be reminded of the truth

[ADelish]

Isn't it weird?! I was just looking at some photos of myself from this time last year, and it's amazing the difference! Makes all those hours of sweating in the gym seem so worth it!

[freeatlast73]

It is all worth it when you suddenly realize that life is better and you look fantastic!

[KenzideRhae]

I totally know what you mean! Some friends and I were just watching some silly videos we made for science class projects our freshman year of highschool (we're college sophomores now, so awhile ago!) and I was like, "Wow, I looked huge," especially compared to the other two girls in the video. I never really saw myself as looking quite that big (and I wasn't even at my highest weight by that point), but now I'm a little embarrassed by how I looked. It's okay though, because I look way better now, I think, and I'll look even better once I reach my goal

[KoriHallelujah]

Ugh, I really hope I don't 'see' myself as being skinnier than I am. That's going to give me anxiety for weeks.

[just keep swimming]

I've had the opposite happen, like when I had a photo taken for my passport a few years ago, I was like, why do I have so many chins?

But then I look at pictures from my low weight of ~148 like 2 years ago, before I gained 17 lbs back and I look pretty great! But I never saw a difference in the mirror at any of those weights.

Sometimes I take pictures of myself to check how an outfit looks since I apparently can't trust the mirror. But then, I'm usually sucking it in, so I really need the occasional unfortunate candid photo to tell me the truth!

[diornotwar]

embrassing facebook pictures from a year ago definitely give me motivation. i'm glad you're noticing a difference - keep up the good work!

[Sunshine73]

How motivating!! That's awesome!

[chubbyhipster]

This is super motivating! I can't wait to see what I'll look like a year from now

[Sanna Maria]

Lianna way to go! Congratulations!! Now you're reaping the rewards of your hard work it must feel amazing

I can totally relate, I get fleeting feelings of that I have changed, sometimes I don't feel it but I have to believe it because of how people react to me. Had some people not recognise me after not having seen me for 8 months or so, and other people have just gone quiet and stared for a long time.

I just have moments of "Yikes! That's MY leg/arm/cheekbone/chin dimple???", then I feel back like "just me" again, and then it happens again. I think for me it's a very slow process learning to understand because I was in such deep denial over my size for a long time.