Last night, I got the idea to do a painting for my boyfriend. For this, I needed to know who his favorite Nascar driver was. I wanted it to be a surprise, so first, I checked his facebook, and there was nothing on it about Nascar. Then I remembered he mentioned that he had a myspace. I looked him up, and there was nothing there, again about Nascar.
There was something else though. I was looking through his pictures, and in the "Tagged Photos" album, there were pictures of he and his ex that she had posted. Now, I know he has had relationships in the past, but this isn't my point. I'm human, and we all know curiosity is an evil thing, that gets the best of us. I traveled to her myspace, and found more pictures of them together. By this time, I was feeling a little jealous, but knew it was in his past. But, then I found a blog, where she wrote about he and her getting married one day, and how much she loved him. I then found a few comments where he wrote "I love you so much", "I love you", etc etc.
What's really bothering me, and has kept me up all night is that he a while ago told me that I was the only person besides family that he has said "I love you" to. The only person he has ever felt this way about. I guess I don't see why he'd say that out of the blue. There was no reason to. It makes me wonder if he's lied about any other things.
I've been up sick, and upset all night over this. Am I overreacting? Or do I have a right to be upset? And even more, what do I do? My friend Michelle says talk to him, but I don't want him to get mad, and cause problems.
Honestly, thats the PAST..... He loves you now. I personally wouldn't even mention that to him. I understand it's hard to accept our men had a life before they met us lol. But like I said, thats his past, and you are his future. I really wouldn't sweat it
I understand. I've thought about that too, but what went through my mind is, if he could say something like that, that isn't true, what else has he said, or might he say? You know?
It was in the past. Definitely. I know you guys are probably right. I'm just not wonderful at making decisions when it comes to confronting/not confronting people. I need the opinion of others. So, I thank you both very much.
No your not over reacting this is how the situation has made you feel - you cant help that.
Your boyfriend should have got rid of all these fotos off his myspace whenyou two became serious,you were always gona find them but bearing in mind there is more to life than the internet and if hes anything like my BF he never uses the comp much and is VERY FORGETFULL.
I wouldnt let it to continue to get to you ,but you shuld really talk to him about this, he should never have lied about never telling someone else he loved them ( maybe he never did say it to her in person ) Lots of people THINK they love someone but often confuse it with lust or infatuation. hes with you not her now that says something, maybe she hasnt moved on , and thats why those pics are still on her myspace now that something she has to deal with not you. But your BF has moved on and hes with you. But as ive learned in my relationship men are very different creatures form us, and just take the pics on ya chin and gently mention what you were gona do for him and youd prefer it if he got rid of the pics just shearly outa respect for your realtionship.
Its up to you if you mention the love thing and that you went on her profile , personally id forgrt it its before your time but rember ita you hes saying it to noone else .
Maybe you're right, Lucky 8. As far as the photos, I'm not sure if he has the ability to remove them. I haven't used myspace in a very long time. She posted the photos, and tagged him. So I don't know if you can delete photos that somebody else has put up. He also hasn't been on myspace since about the time we got together. I guess, I fear losing him, and this made me feel slightly threatened. I dunno. I should probably just let it go, I need time to think. Thank you for your advice and support.
It's complicated. The one time I felt they way you're eeling, I really should have trusted myself.
It's obviously bothering you a LOT, and it's really bad when we hold that stuff in. You should be worried about making him 'mad'. Part o a healthy relationship is being able to discuss what's bothering you.
Consider how old the posts are (years? months? weeks?) Does he still talk to her much? was it a bad breakup? Are there other reasons as to why you feel threatenned?
I don't like that he said that you were the only one besides family he's said 'I love you' to. I'd be concerned about other little lies as well.
Maybe the fact that they are there or hes been tagged in them is totally irrellevant to him, men are totally like this ....and us woman specualte and look in to EVERYTHING i kno ......im totally the same.
And yes you may feel threatened but dont. Yeah put it behind you , but if you dont talk to him about it . it will eat you up and ya mind will continue to think what if's or this that and the other.
Think of how you can approach him on this and its totally ok to do so..........just dont make it in 2 an argument (dont let her or the situation win) and do it today and put it to bed.
Im sure once u understand from his point you will feel less threatened.
This is what's tough. He lives about an hour and a half away. I won't see him until Friday, and I don't know if I can wait that long. It's been about 12 hours since I found that and I'm going crazy already. I'd call him, but (this is not an excuse) my phone is awful, and you can't hear a thing. I'd write to him but my friend says that'd be a bad idea. I dunno what to do.
I have learnt that theres no point in pulling ya man up on something over txt or fone you have to do it face to face ...........this way they cant get out of it.
And maybe by then the situation would have calmed with you and you see that its all a past thing. Hard i kno ive been thru similar things and half the time us woman put ourself thru alot more than we really should. Jus relax and if he rings dont even menation it.
then when u see him say ...........oh i forgot to mention. etc
I would feel the same way, completely. I would actually be more upset because by nature, I am easily threatened by things from the past. I guess it’s because I hold on to relationships/people, I assume everyone else does to. Nothing burns me up more than seeing a picture of my boyfriend with his ex, time frame no matter.
He lied. Why did he lie? Why did he feel the need to say that? I get the feeling that it’s not like you pointedly asked him if he’d ever been in love, but that he told you he hadn’t been sort of on his own. That was a rather unnecessary lie and therefore exacerbates the myspace situation. If he hadn’t said that, your post wouldn’t even exist because there wouldn’t have been a “discovery”.
Even the smallest lies can greatly damage the trust in a relationship. And you need to address this quickly. And I wouldn’t be satisfied if he didn’t at least say, “You know, I lied and I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.” He has to see how this could make you feel doubtful and insecure.
We can’t help our feelings, only how we express them. So just try to keep your cool and keep an open mind, remember that he’s human and humans have a tendencies to tell silly lies that snowball. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you or damage the trust, but I totally see how it did. Good luck!
do you think that maybe he doesnt even remember telling her that he loved her because he honestly didnt?
I said I love you all the time to my ex but I can honestly say I never loved him and so if I were asked I'd say I've only been in love once and thats with the current boy...
The past is the past... I dont think its a big deal...he can however untag himself from the myspace pictures so they no longer show up on his myspace profile
when you feel threatened and worry about bad things happening you sabotage yourself... worrying about things may make them come true... dont dwell on the things that could maybe happy...live your current life
I'm not sure, ladies. I took a different approach, and gave him the option of telling me. I told him I had a reoccurring dream about the situation. He wrote.
"You are the first baby, you are the only one I've ever fallen in love with what we have is so much more than I've felt before. It's just a dream Stacey."
Ladies, I'm in desperate need of your advice.
