I'm so glad to come back and see that you are still hanging in there. My mom got bad news about my uncle on Friday--he's got lung cancer and it can't be operated on so I think she's finally decided to quit smoking. When I talked to her last night she said she had 6 cigarettes the whole down--down from a pack a day. She's quit several times in the past but I think this time may be it since she and my uncle will probably be the one's caring for my other uncle.
Oh Dawnyal, I am so sorry to hear that your uncle has lung cancer. I hope that your mom has sucess at quitting. I hope that I never get a diagnosis of lung cancer. I hope that I am quitting in time to reverse some of the damage I have done to myself.
Well, it has been about nine days. It has been very trying. My baby has a bad ear infection and I am trying to get ready for our long vacation. I have been sleep deprived and depressed. I am doing a bit better today. I've not smoked. I'm sure the coming days will get easier.
Tammy, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! You've truly become one of my heroes: you're losing buckets of weight, you've QUIT SMOKING, you're caring for your daughter solo while your husband is serving in Japan, and you show up here day after day to give support to the rest of us.
I think you're just great, and I wish I could give you a really big hug, because it sounds like you need one, you sweetie. I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight, and that your daughter heals quickly and is soon ready to go with you to Kohl's to pick out some inexpensive frock to show off your shrinking bod! (To yourself, for motivation, of course -- and maybe for a happy photo to send your hubby?) I'm rooting for you Tammy, and I think you're doing such a wonderful job in the face of so many challenges.......you kick some major . NO KIDDING.
Hey Tammy, nine days, that is fantastic. Particularly since you've been having a tough time of it - its so much harder when you're stressed, tired etc. You just hang on in there, and I promise you, it gets easier.
Yep, yep, it is getting much easier. I find that at times when I used to crave a smoke I don't anymore. Hardest thing for me is to get past the cravings from stress. They really test me badly. But, I am still smoke free. I think I am pretty much home free now.
Aside from that, I am doing better on the eating front. I walked past a mirror yesterday while I was carrying my daughter and what I saw in the mirror distressed me. I am not seeing the me that is 44 pounds thinner. I am seeing the person that I always seem to see no matter what weight I am at(past thinking before journey). I think that might be a problem because that person is just a big, fat, slobbish looking person. I'm not sure why, all of the sudden, that that way of looking at myself has re-surfaced. I think also that me keeping my big clothes and wearing them could be part of the problem. I think they make me appear larger than I am but if this is a state of mind even changing the clothing is not going to make me see the thinner me. I don't know. I am hoping that this feeling will pass soon.
As always you all have been wonderful. You have helped me get through this rough time. I did it!! I am proud of myself. I could not have gotten better support anywhere else. You all were a huge part of the reason I have been sucessful at this. Thank you all so very much.
Tammy: run, do not walk, to the nearest store to buy just a FEW items of smaller clothing. I am TELLING you, you will feel SO MUCH BETTER!!! PLEASE do this for yourself. You deserve to see some visual confirmation of your efforts. 44 pounds shows, girlfriend.....
Ok, here's some psychoplay: go to a mirror and picture yourself 44 pounds heavier. Same picture? Hm, didn't think so. You have lost a -- everybody please forgive me here -- a BUTTLOAD of weight, and you need to set yourself up as best you can to acknowledge that.
I'm telling you, a new frock, not the same old big tee. For the love of God, Tammy.......
Gretchen and Sarah, You two made me laugh! Ok, you are right I need to go out and get some different clothes. I go on vacation tomorrow so I'm not going to have time but once I get to my destination I promise I am going to buy myself some new stuff. I know this is serious and I am setting myself up to fail if I don't turn this around. As I have said before failing is not an option and still is not. I owe it to myself to reward myself for the weight I have lost so far. I have to at least try and get some new clothes and see if that helps so I will know if I need to move on to some kind of counseling to get through the negative feelings I have when I look in the mirror. I hope that the getting new clothes will do the trick.
Looks like you're doing an excellent job with not smoking. I congratulate you!! I am in the process of working on that myself. I had an "eye opener" (which I posted about with the Jaded Ladies) just yesterday and I think it pushed the panic button somewhere in me.
I had quit before, for four years!!, only to start up again. Shame on me for having done that!
Just wanted to let you know that I think it's great that you're doing this and that you're also not alone. I'll be working on it too. (will finish what I have....as stubborn as I am....but then thats it!)
Keep up the good work!
Marti
BTW...do you feel you crave food more now? I didn't the first time I quit..I'm hoping I don't this time too......but you never know!
Tammy, if anybody deserves some new clothes, it is you. I promise you, you will feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better when your clothes fit properly!
Glad you've made it through the worst of the smoking cravings - unbelievable though it may sound now, there will come a time when you'lle go a whole day without even thinking about smoking.....I promise!
. NO KIDDING.
I will keep you & yours in my thoughts & prayers. 
