I see a lot of people (me included!) caught up in guilt and self-recrimination when it comes to their weight. I want to say "no!" to that guilt and self-recrimination and share my little triumph today.
I use the HALT acronym (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) to check in with myself when I'm feeling off. Today I was all four and hit my emotional wall while I happened to be at the grocery store. I said mentally "to h*** with this, I want fried food" and loaded up my cart with all the fried things I used to eat. I took a second lap around the store staring at the food. I took out about half of what I put in. I took a third lap around the store and took more out. By the end of my fourth lap the only things I had in my cart that weren't originally on my list were some garlic and grated ginger. Not a single non-plan food made it through the check-out.
I went out to lunch with friends and only had about 300 calories left for the day. I decided that I needed to take care of myself with a healthy dinner but that I didn't need to binge. I ended the day having eaten about 1700 calories instead of my planned 1500. 500 of those calories were from the dinner that I had originally thought I would binge my way through.
I'm still tired and grouchy, but a part of me also recognizes how absolutely monumental this is. I could focus on going over by 200 calories, but I refuse to do that. Instead, I am going to remember that today somehow I found enough self-respect and dignity to not abuse my body with food when I'm feeling lousy.