7: 234.4 (gasp)
8: 232.2
9: 233.6
10: 233.8
11: Forgot to Weigh
12: 233.5 (TOM)
13: 235.8 (TOM and to many carbs yesterday)
14: 236
15: No WI
16: 236.8
17: 237 (not drinking enough water - have puffy fingers and ankles)
18:
19: 236
20: 235
21: 234.2
22: 233
Didn't make it to the gym this morning, but I did get out this morning for a 3/4 mile walk with Micah. He rode in his car-stroller, I pushed. It was a great way to start the day.
I just had a really bright lightbulb go off. My weirdo gains are probably because TOM is around the corner! DUH. I kind of forgot how this works without my BCP I think it should be arriving any day now. Okay, I don't feel so horrible about the strange gains anymore. All the more reason to press on! Yay.
Sorry I was MIA yesterday. Life was busy. So I'm down a little water weight to 191.0 so that was nice. Shooting for quality treadmill time after work. Really not enjoying my 60(ish) lb. lost plateau challenge that I am facing. I know what it is. it's because I'm getting all kinds of compliments now. "OMG! You have lost SO much weight!" "Wow! You've lost even more since the last time I saw you!" I'm trying to look at the comments differently than all other past times. Instead of relishing and basking in them, I kindly thank them for noticing and tell them that what they said makes the work I do worth it. I thought that it was working on my brain, but is it? Truly? I can feel myself wanting to ease up. I definitely haven't been nearly as disciplined since I saw my low. While I am not gaining...MUCH...I can feel the "laxing" creeping in. My eating at work is spot on as usual. It's at home, it's been hot...I'm not in the mood to prepare everything and THEN cook....again...slacking. My own fault.
I start school in Sept. I feel that I have got to get down to as low as I can so that if I need to let the reigns out a little with the exercise, THEN is the time for that. Certainly not now. I also think that I am subconsciously afraid to truly succeed and I also feel that I am entering into harder territory for weight loss where I may need to tweak my calories and eat a little more and pump up the workouts a bit. I am feeling scared about those ideas. I feel that I have the resolve and the drive to complete this, but I am having the hardest time right now "getting out of my own way"!!!!
I also think that I need to get out an issue with my sister. 2 weekends ago was my neice's graduation party. My family doesn't say much if anything about my weight loss because of me gaining and losing my whole life. It's easier not to mention it. My family is a "sweep it under the rug and not talk about it" kind of group. With that said, I was talking with my sister and joking about her ex, my neice's dad, who was in jail for a bit and now has the ankle bracelet and he was coming to the party. So I was making casual cracks about how the alarm would go off and whatnot. Harmless stuff between family. So he gets there and my flipping sister tells him everything that I said like as soon as he walked in!! TOTALLY humiliating me! Totally alienating Kent - like how's he supposed to react to that?! Honestly, you could feel the air in the room change to a lovely shade of outrageously awkward. Anywho, what pissed me off about the whole thing is that Lori ALWAYS does this to me!!!! She's done it to me the last few times she's seen me...since I started seriously losing weight. I have feelings that she is jealous of me for some reason and that she is projecting onto me. Therefore lashing out at anything to take away any spotlight on me and paint me as a horrible person. I haven't said anything to her about this, nor have I mentioned it to anyone else. I do feel my plateau could have bearing on this so I wanted to let it out to you guys. I dont hate her but the next time I see her, if she lashes in any way, I WILL lash back. I promise you, I will hold up the mirror and tell her exactly what I see in it. I will tell her how she's making me feel and that I do not appreciate it. I have had enough of that. I will not allow her to project her crap onto me. She's nuts and let me tell ya, I've done enough Self Work over the last year to be able to confidently say that I am NOT! "Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here!"
Thanks for letting me get ALL of that out. I'm really sorry this is so long.
today's weigh in has me back down the .9 i was up yesterday, back to 264.1.
according to the calendar ovulation took place yesterday or the day before, so that explains my wonky up-down mess. now it's a fight to lose before TOM shows up in 2 weeks.
Sooo, for those of you who have been asking and I've deliberately been avoiding I have fabulous news to share. The long and short of it is that I GOT THE JOB! I actually got the offer last Thursday and went back and forth to hammer out the details. Didn't want to post anything anywhere until I gave my notice to my current employer, which I just did a couple of hours ago, so yippeeeeeeeeeee My last day at this job will be July 6 and I start my new position on the 11th, which gives me a good few days in between to kind of relax and unwind, added to which my girlfriend is getting married that weekend, so that'll be fun as well. Anyhoos!
Whew, long day! I was pretty excited to wake up to a whoosh this morning...I was down 1.8 to 211.2 - yay! Went to a friend's for dinner and ended up just 4 calories over my plan, but I do feel heavy in my legs, so I am chugging water to avoid a potential sodium bounce for tomorrow. Sodium for the day is 2400...so higher than I'd like, but not as bad as it could be.
Shylah -- Working from home is such a gift, and I really appreciate every minute of it. Just saving the commute for a day is a godsend, not to mention all the work I get through since I don't have all the normal interruptions and distractions. DS loves it when I can walk him to school as well
Mandy -- Are you supposed to avoid all exercise? Is there another type you might be able to do? I know how frustrating it is to get stuck on a number...hang in there.
Matilda -- Good job on getting closer to your low. I'm working on it too.
Kukkie -- I hope your MIL is okay after her accident. Can't wait to read ahead to hear about the job! Ahh! Just read ahead, congratulations!! Is your new job close to home? Can you still work from home? How did your current boss take the news?
Roxy -- I always thought of myself as chubby, even as a teen, but now when I look at those pictures I think I was totally crazy. I was comparing myself with some of my friends who were even skinnier I guess. I do find it motivating to see those pics. Sometimes I tell myself that I can only get so much smaller because I have a large frame, but when I see those pictures I see a different reality.
Diana -- Good luck with the new Dr. I've had the same Dr. since I was 12 and I don't know what I will do when she retires. Sorry to hear that Magnum was not feeling 100%, I hope he's doing better today and you'll get a better sleep. I get mistaken for another person at work quite often, although I don't think we really look alike all that much, but we are both overweight and of a similar age so I guess that's why. I love your story about your twin -- crazy!
Kris -- Good job on your walk this morning, congrats on your loss today
Vixsin -- I hear you on having a hard time keeping on when you feel so successful, I struggle with this as well. I've lost about the same amount as you and I'm pleased as punch about it, but I've still got a long way to go. I too feel like now I'm into the harder part of this journey, and sometimes I think I let those kind of thoughts hold me back and I use them as an excuse for a poor week/month. Sorry about your sister, it does sound like she's trying to paint you in an unfavorable light with those types of comments. I would avoid confiding those kind of things with her if you think she might continue to try embarrassing you.
ONa -- HOw are you enjoying Wimbledon? Is your guy doing well?
angie - standing, walking, running, etc all hurt. i could probably do some work on a bike if i had one but i need new tires on mine and i don't have a stationary. i'll find out next wednesday (hopefully) what's going on with my ankle so i can get back to my regular workout routine!
Our dog Magnum was better yesterday. Hopefully everything is OK and it was just an isolated situation.
I had more coffee yesterday than I normally do. I also went to McDonald's for breakfast since I had a Dr's appointment. The food calories were very similar to what I normally eat, but the coffee/cream/sugar calories were higher. I don't add those up because that's too much to figure out. But, my calories were higher yesterday than they normally are. I don't know if I will show a gain for that tomorrow or not. Maybe I will be good. Time will tell.
Up .4 today. When I checked my nutrients for the last few days the two days prior to yesterday were actually higher for sodium than yesterday was...so maybe this is old sodium catching up with me...lol. Still on plan so I'm not too worried about it.
Cameron and I are spending the day at an amusement park tomorrow, I have a friend coming from out of town and she has a son of a similar age so we will go together. I'm not too worried about eating there, I'll eat a filling breakfast (greek yogurt, blueberries, all bran) before we go and I think the best thing to eat there is pizza, but you pay an arm and a leg per slice, so I know I'll just have one! I'm not overly tempted by the desserts there, but if I indulge a little I'm not going to worry too much because the walking is endless there. I'm planning to wear my nike+ shoes so that I can gauge the distance I cover.
Mandy -- Okay, well I was thinking about some sitting yoga or pilates might help to get you moving a bit.
Morning Starbrite!
Diana -- Glad Magnum is back to himself again. Good job on the 1.4 and best of luck with the weigh in tomorrow!
1: 239.0
2: 236.6
3: 235.8
4: 238.2
5: 239.8
6: 237.2
7: 240.6
8: 235.8
9: NO
10: 238.4
11: 238.2
12: 238.2
13: No WI
14: 240.8
15: 239.8
16: 242.0
17: 239.2
18: 238.2
19: 235.2 - TOM
20: 242.6 - TOM
21: 242.8 - TOM
22: 242.2 - TOM
23: 239.4 - TOM
I'm hoping this is the last day of TOM and things will get back to normal on the scale. We're headed the right direction, at least! My rings aren't quite as tight as they have been the last few days, although there's definitely still some water there. It probably doesn't help things either that I started going to the gym on Tuesday after almost 2 weeks off (sick kid, then potty training for a week.) It feels good to be back, even if I do retain a bit of water for a couple of days.
Angie MIL is okay for the most part, but she's now starting to feel the back pain that doesn't kick in right away. They checked her out at the hospital and sent her home, but she has a follow up appointment with her own doctor today. I'm thinking she may have to do some physio. I took a look at the car and you can tell she was hit pretty badly, so we're lucky because it could have been a lot worse. As for the job, it's downtown TO and I'm right by the Mount Pleasant GO station, so I can just hop on the GO train straight into Union. I don't think I'll be able to work from home for the first couple of months because they've hired for me a project that needs to launch early October, so I'll need to work closely with some of the people in the office, but I'm okay with that. I think the routine may actually help me get my groove back in terms of scheduling all the things I want/need to do ie. exercise because I'll know I only have a certain window for it. My current manager was SHOCKED, she didn't see it coming at all, but I made sure she knew that it was nothing against her, just a totally amazing opportunity. We've become really close, so she's thrilled for me and my career, just sad to see me go.
I think it should be arriving any day now. Okay, I don't feel so horrible about the strange gains anymore. All the more reason to press on! Yay.
TOTALLY humiliating me! Totally alienating Kent - like how's he supposed to react to that?! Honestly, you could feel the air in the room change to a lovely shade of outrageously awkward. Anywho, what pissed me off about the whole thing is that Lori ALWAYS does this to me!!!! She's done it to me the last few times she's seen me...since I started seriously losing weight. I have feelings that she is jealous of me for some reason and that she is projecting onto me. Therefore lashing out at anything to take away any spotlight on me and paint me as a horrible person. I haven't said anything to her about this, nor have I mentioned it to anyone else. I do feel my plateau could have bearing on this so I wanted to let it out to you guys. I dont hate her but the next time I see her, if she lashes in any way, I WILL lash back. I promise you, I will hold up the mirror and tell her exactly what I see in it. I will tell her how she's making me feel and that I do not appreciate it. I have had enough of that. I will not allow her to project her crap onto me. She's nuts and let me tell ya, I've done enough Self Work over the last year to be able to confidently say that I am NOT! "Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here!"
everybody!
My last day at this job will be July 6 and I start my new position on the 11th, which gives me a good few days in between to kind of relax and unwind, added to which my girlfriend is getting married that weekend, so that'll be fun as well. Anyhoos!
Sorry to hear that Magnum was not feeling 100%, I hope he's doing better today and you'll get a better sleep. I get mistaken for another person at work quite often, although I don't think we really look alike all that much, but we are both overweight and of a similar age so I guess that's why. I love your story about your twin -- crazy!
But, my calories were higher yesterday than they normally are. I don't know if I will show a gain for that tomorrow or not. Maybe I will be good. Time will tell.
