Hi, Turtle Buddies,

Here it is - my "official" version of the fable:

The Hare and the Tortoise

A hare met a tortoise one day and made fun of him for the slow and clumsy way in which he walked.

The tortoise laughed and said, "I will run a race with you any time that you choose."

"Very well," replied the hare, "we will start at once."

The tortoise immediately set off in his slow and steady way without waiting a moment or looking back. The hare, on the other hand, treated the matter as a joke and decided to take a little nap before starting, for she thought that it would be an easy matter to overtake her rival.

The tortoise plodded on, and meanwhile the hare overslept herself, with the result that she arrived at the winning-post only to see that the tortoise had got in before her.

Moral: Slow and steady wins the race.

This comes from a book handed down from my grandmother to my mother to me. The book is so old it doesn't have a copyright date or an author/editor's credit.

That fable has been the motivation for us turtles for about two years. Someone on the ancient WW forum mentioned the fable and I discovered it was very motivational for me. I talked about it in posts and other people said that the tortoise philosophy worked for them, too. So, I started a thread for us turtle types.

We work toward accepting that our bodies have a natural speed of weight loss when we choose to live a healthy life, instead of "going on a diet". Many of us have experienced "the diets" as go on/lose weight-- go off/ gain the weight plus more back.

We choose to perservere with each choice we make throughout the day. We believe that choosing to be slow, steady turtles helps us to learn the skills we need to learn in order to not only lose the weight, but keep it off and become the healthiest people we can be.

So, welcome to all who realize that losing and maintaining a weight loss is a lifestyle change. And who want support as we all learn the skills we need to successfully make the changes that will allow us to reach our goals.

Happy turtlin', everyone!

Lin

Hi, Turtles,

Erin, I'll trade. You come do my dishes and I'll do your vacuuming.

Thanks, you who have been exercising longer than I have for your information about the process of getting our bodies back in shape. It's helped me to figure out how I need to change my approach. Mainly, I need to work out just a little bit harder. And keep track of how I'm feeling so that I push myself a little more when it gets too comfortable to exercise at my current level.

Lauren, game hens are also called Rock Cornish hens. They're actually small (about 2 pounds) chickens. Guinea hens are a little tougher because they actually are wild game. Your dinner sounds fabulous. too. And you didn't have to cook it.

My dinner turned out really good. I decided to steam green beans instead of doing the two veggie dishes because I ran out of time. But it was a perfect substitute side dish. The cherry sauce was a recipe I used to cook, but the directions were a little vague for the beginning cook I was at that time to follow. Now that I'm more experienced, I know how to do it right and it was wonderful. Especially since I substituted balsamic for the red wine vinegar. Balsamic wasn't something people were cooking with when the cookbook came out or I bet they'd have used it, too.

I'm going to redo my cake recipe and turn it into cupcakes or miniature cakes. I bet I can keep the taste and cut the points by making it tiny servings. It's psychological, I know, but I'm more satisfied with a mini, individual dessert than a tiny piece of a larger dessert, even if it's the same amount of food. Weird the way our minds work.

That business with the cake is part of my ongoing plan to put back some of the foods I've been avoiding because of the high point count. I need to work them back into my life so I don't get crazy, like I did this past week with the doughnuts. Remember I mentioned I had wanted some? Well, Safeway had my favorites on sale and Iwent nuts. That tells me that I must plan more carefully so I don't go too long without eating foods that I like. I don't want doughnuts very often, but when I do, I'd better eat one. So, lesson learned. Now I have to do the follow through.

I'm feeling much more like my normal self these days. So, things are going better. I've been counting points more. Getting closer to being back in my range. I've continued to exercise and drink the water and take my supplements. It's the food that's been a problem the past few weeks. But I'm working that out now.

Have a great weekend!

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
272/233/225/135 or so

Hi, tortoises.

Erin, very interesting history behind Pilates. I knew he was an acrobat/tumbler of sorts, but I didn't know he worked with vets. Cool info; thanks. I'm still sore today! Amazing. Maybe I'll run through the routine again before I go to book group tonight. (A group of us read a book and get together to discuss it once a month. This month: "The Girl in Hyacinth Blue.")

Lin, thanks for the info re: the difference between a game hen (which isn't really game) and a guinea hen (which really is game). Life is strange. I think your idea of cutting your cake recipe into cupcakes is excellent, makes a LOT of sense. I too prefer little tiny desserts to a bite or two of a big one. That's why I loved that dessert sampler I had.

Oh, Erin, the place we went to is a local restaurant called "Emily's." http://www.emilysrestaurant.com (You can read their "Slow Food Manifesto" there; it's interesting.) It's our favorite local restaurant, about 10 minutes from our house. We try to go to very fine restaurants two to three times per year. We'll be going to another one in April for our anniversary -- if anything, it's even better than Emily's, but it's not local -- we have to drive about 5 hours. It's up north, where we'll be spending a weekend for our anniversary. It's called Tapawingo. Check it out at: http://members.aol.com/tapdining/

Still no TOM for me. Bloated with no relief. I'm taking iron in case my problem is anemia; I sometimes have problems with that, which puts off TOM. Ah, well. My eating is fine, at least.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/194/189 by April 17

Wow, Lauren, you really live the high life! I checked out Emily's menu, and that roasted peppers salad sounds gooooooooooooooooood. And I loved the "Something Fantastically Vegetarian" feature! And it's the cheapest dinner, too--$19! Wow. Okay, I need to get a job before I can eat there...

Spinning this morning. I woke up in a grumpy, lousy mood and I was grumbly and pissy going in, but I soon got into it and I feel a lot better now. Love that class. And guess what! It's slimming my thighs down in a hurry, I can slip into my jeans again!

Class today, despite it being a holiday and DH having the day off. Grumble. I have a Physics test tomorrow, I need desperately to study, but I've got lecture (not Physics) and 2 clients this afternoon. Argh. This is just NOT working out to be a good day!

Anyway. Trying for low points this week, though it's PMS week and that may not work very well. I want my book!

Have a good Turtle-ish day!

Hi, Turtle Buddies,

Lauren, I wish I could try your restaurants. However, I admit that my restaurant dream is to eat just once at Thomas Keller's French Laundry in the Napa Valley. It is next to impossible to get reservations. You have to program your phone to speed dial. Get on the phone at 10 am Pacific time exactly 2 or 3 ( I forget which it is) months to the day ahead of when you want reservations. Then, if you're lucky enough to get through before 10:45, you'll get your reservation. Some people get friends and family to dial their phones, too, hoping one person will get through to make the date. It's insane, but, apparently worth both the effort and the very expensive cost of the meal, which has been described in more than one article I've read as the best in America.

Your report of the restaurant dinner and my recent issues with food has had me thinking about higher point foods and how to use them in my food plan. But I realized that it's not just the high fat foods that I've been deprived of. I've been deprived of a lot of my favorite low fat recipes because my nonstick electric skillet died and I can't afford to replace it. I also need to replace my wok, which was left in a cupboard in San Jose when we rushed to pack after I finished finals. A lot of my cooking equipment was left behind by accident, unfortuantely.

Anyway, now that I know what's going on, I can make adjustments in my food plan to get in some version of what I love to eat. I get to be even more creative.

Hi, Erin. Your post showed up at the same time as mine. Sorry you're getting PMS grumps to ruin your mood. Glad your spinning class helped.

I hope you all are having a great weekend or regular day, depending on whether you get the holiday or not.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
272/233/225/135 or so

Hi,
Turtles,
I'm on vacation and starting to settle into it. Have had a lot of stress with dh and health, now the stress is passed. Also have a lot of unneeded stress at work, so I'll have to be diligent there.
I'm a great teacher, but I am older and that seems to be a legitimate reason to push you out the door. We'll see what happens.
This all adds up to eating stress for me, but I'm keeping things somewhat under control. Today has been a good day, I'm journaling, and I'm feeling a lot better. I'm also getting little projects done and that always make me feel tops. When I organize my mail and magazines, etc. I feel that my head clears.
It's weird, but it works for me.

I love what you have to say. Hey Lin, I think it would be worth the expense to head to the west coast to have you cook a meal for us turtles. We'll buy all the food and then watch you cook. You sound amazing. I really thought I wasn't a bad cook, actually I thought I was a good cook, but you sound more like a gourmet chef! Glad you get so much enjoyment out of food. And I'm watching your weight line and you're doing great.

Lauren,
Your Valentine dinner sounded scrumptious. I know what you mean about richer food than usual. I ended up eating four hot cross buns (two more after I got offline). they cost me 20 points I didn't have and a night of running to the bathroom. Not exactly a lovely prospect or way to spend an evening. So, I threw the other two out and I hope and plan that that ends my hot cross bun episodes for lent.

Mousie,
I love your spinning tales. Glad you've found something that can kick in those endorphins and make you feel better. I too would be happy to trade vacuuming for dusting--too bad we can't do things like that in cyberspace.

All goes about as well as can be expected here. I asked for no chocolates for Valentine's Day and dh respected that. Then the kids in my class gave me 4 small boxes of chocolate. I gave all but one to the custodian at work. I brought one box home and my dh and I bit into the chocolates to have nibbles of ones we especially liked. That's huge growth for me because in the past I would have wanted a huge box of chocolates and I would have eaten the ones I didn't like and then move over to the ones I liked a lot.

Anyway--take care of yourselves and here's lots of good vibes,
Judy
234/208/199soon

Gaaah, what a week! I finally did count up my points for the Dinner To Die For, and it was 31!!!! For one meal! I ended up with 44 points for the day. I was also over on Saturday and Sunday, though it wasn't due to snacking -- and I suspect I overestimated the points in a couple of things. (I estimated five or six bites of DH's massive cinnamon sweet roll at 4 points.)

But TOM finally arrived today, after 2 full weeks of PMS. Blecchh! Aging is for the birds! (But, of course, better than the alternative.) I fully expect the scales to be up quite a bit tomorrow. Not just because of the food, but also because I took anti-inflammatories today, and those cause me to retain water.

Well, that's how it goes. On the bright side, I worked out six days this week. Two of the days weren't aerobic, but that's OK -- I've probably focused too much on the aerobic side because I prefer it.

Judy, about the age thing . . . age discrimination is illegal and highly sueable. If you're over 40, you're protected. Don't go quietly, if it comes to that. Kids need good teachers like you. WTG on the chocolates! Someone gave me a small box of chocolates, too. Fortunately they were the cheap kind, which don't tempt me much. I took a bite of one and spit it out, it was that bad. (Marshmellow, I think. Urk!) Still, four years ago I would've eaten it anyway. We've come a long way, baby!

Erin, I can relate to the PMS. Good for you with doing the exercise anyway, and WTG on the skinny jeans!! Woo-hoo!

Lin, wouldn't you love to be the person who decides which restaurant in America is the best? On the other hand, you'd have to change your name and go into hiding afterwards. Here are the best restaurants I've ever eaten at:

-- Emily's of Northville
-- Tapawingo
-- The Lark
-- Le Bec Fin (in Philadelphia) (this is where DH took me the day he proposed; he proposed in a park first) (they make 30 different desserts each day, and you can have ALL of them if you want, all included in the single -- VERY high -- price for the meal) http://www.lebecfin.com/
-- Some French place in NYC; I was taken there by a VP of GM right when I returned from Africa, so the food was too rich for me, but I could tell it was incredible
-- A roadside hole in the wall on Cape Cod. A zero on ambience, but I've never had clam chowder like that before or since. The best seafood ever.
-- Pete's Diner in Philly. OK, the food is basic greasy diner fare and I gained a lot of weight there, but DH and I had some wonderful talks there while we were courting.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/194 (until tomorrow, anyway)/189 by April 17

Lauren, your "zero on ambience" clam chowder place got me thinking about London (not meant the way that sounds! ). There's this greek place that is the corner of a building--literally, it's a triangular shop--at the juction at Charing Cross and Oxford Street. Two or three doors down is the tube stop, and two or three doors down from that is an underground club called Metro. I had never been to a club, much less an English club, when DH took me there. I danced all night and sang along to the music I listened to in high school (heavy metal! Metallica, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden. Really! Though you'd never know it now) and had a blast. Then we surfaced and went to the greek place for a newsprint cone of salty chips, and on top of the alcohol and the dancing and the exhilaration of my old music, they were the hands-down best chips I have ever had. Wow, I miss London...

Anyway. I feel like I'm struggling the last few days and I can't pinpoint why. I'm fine pointswise, so far. I'm going to Spinning in just a couple of minutes, so everything's cool there. I feel like I can't get full, like I'm not satisified with what I'm eating. I've tried more protein (can't possibly do LESS ) and that's not it. I've been ravenously eating candy for a couple of days, although the amount I ate wasn't horrific because I generally don't eat gobs of the stuff so don't have it in the house. I'm fine for water so I'm not trying to rob my food for water. I've been eating huge salads, so that's fine. I'm hoping this is early PMSing (TOM should be monday, I'm on the Pill so I can say) and it'll go away. Ugh.

Of course, it could have something to do with the fact that I got up at 4:30 this morning to study for the Physics test I had, and bombed, today. Breakfast at 4:30 throws things off. But even then, I'm still within points with points left for a rush of carbs after class (or else I'll pass out). So heck, I don't know.

On the up side, I tried this new place recommended by a woman I used to work with and it was WONDERFUL! They do wraps with whole wheat tortillas and lots of veggies and tofu, and curries/sauces that are out of this world. I had a wrap with tofu, zuchinni, onions, potatoes, pineapple, and "Tropical Breeze" sauce--made with mangoes, pineapple, and papaya. MMMMmmmmmmmmmmm it was good! Must go back there.

Spinning calls, must go! Bye Turtles!

Hi,
Seems like February is a month for struggling. I'm eating high end, but for the last two days I journaled. Since we ate out on those days, the salt content was higher than usual so that will explain a little why I'm up on my scale. Today I'll cook in and that will help a lot. It's a little gray here, so a nice bowl of brocoli soup should be just the ticket.

I love the discussions of favorite eateries. Mine range the gamet
from bacon and eggs over a campstove camping at the ocean (I can still smell the coffee percolating away in our red coffeepot--and I'm not even a coffee fan!) to the Chateau Frontenac (excuse my spelling) in Quebec. Wow--very impressive--harpist playing tunes, quail egg soup, etc. etc. Fabulous.--it was the most expensive meal we've even had and worth every penny. The champagne was bubbly and exquisite and that's what started our evening.

All goes well here. I'm enjoying my vacation--getting organized and lightening my mental load by doing so. Getting rid of clutter helps me so much emotionally. It feels as though I have my ship in order.

Take care, do well, and keep on turtling. I think we're all about to turn the corner.

Mousie--I just had an idea. Even though your points are right, could the candy be throwing off your insulin, etc. and playing havoc with your body? Just a thought.

Judy
234/209/199soon

Judy, dunno, but that's the sort of thing I was thinking too. I so rarely eat candy (at least, that much of it, I generally like to have a few gummy strawberries around) that I could be doing the Blood-Sugar Swing. It's very hard to balance carbs with Spinning now, too. A couple of times after class I've had to wait to eat, and I've gotten SO sick! Shaky to the point that I could not hold a pen and write, dizzy with the most merciless headache, sick to my stomach...and it got better upon eating carbs. That's why I save points and plan for straight carbs (spaghetti, generally) after class. I am NOT diabetic, understand, but the class is so intense and takes so much out of me that there's nothing left and I have to be immediately replenished. If you look around at the calorie burners on the web, they figure that for my weight I'm burning 800+ calories per class! So I'm figuring I just have to grit my teeth and hang in there to get past this.

Spinning last night did not happen, I was bummed. Erica was sick so the sub I do not like (Debby) was there. I could not figure out how to leave unobtrusively so I just left. I didn't say anything, but I'm certain she noticed me there and then me NOT there when class began. I had a comforting talk with myself on the way home, that it was my choice which classes I take and if the instructor I like isn't there it's okay not to take the class, that I need to get in my proper head space for Spinning and I can't do that with Debby, etc. Amazing how I felt guilty for not liking Debby's teaching, isn't it? I was tempted to make myself stay, even! Why do we do that? Why do we not stand up for ourselves? Spinning is such a mental thing that if you clash with your instructor (there are 3 that I like, only Debby I don't like) it becomes the most dire experience imaginable. Spinners know that, so why did I feel awkward and like I had to make excuses for leaving? As if I had no right to have an opinion, or a preference. Very odd.

I went to hear a talk a friend was giving yesterday, and her story wrenched my heart. Cynda is Chilean by birth, and grew up in the government of Pinochet (is that how you spell that?). She gave a talk about abilleras, quilted tapestry panels made by the women of Chile to tell the stories of what was happening. Cynda's first abillera was about witnessing the murder of her grandmother when Cynda was 6 years old. Heartwrenching. I am going to participate in Cynda's workshop after class on wednesday (first time there today, later) and make my own abilleras, my own life stories. I have two ideas so far: one, a "broken" woman sprouting/giving birth to a baby/young girl as a symbolic representation of the new me that was born when the old me was broken; and two, a slender woman with outlines of larger women around her as a symbol of who is inside and the fact that what you see is just layers. I'll see what supplies are there, today, and decide which I'm doing.

I've got to go, Turtles, I need to run an errand before Spinning this morning. Hope Kelly is there for me!

Hi, Turtles,

Judy, it's good to read how you're doing. Enjoy your vacation. It's good to hear that you're doing better and feeling better about how this journey is going for you.

Erin, you follow such a heavy exercise schedule. Is it possible that you need to increase your points by a couple to have enough fuel to do all that you do?

Your story about the Chilean woman and the abilleras was heart-wrenching. I love the idea of the abilleras as a way to tell stories. I hope you'll be able to post a picture of yours when you're done, if you care to share it.

Lauren, don't worry about the points for your ONE dinner to die for. If you ate that way frequently, you should worry. But you eat that way only a couple of times a year.

Great job on the exercising! You're doing terrific with that.

My favorite restaurants that I've actually eaten at are:

The Country Gourmet in Sunnyvale. The best eggs benedict and they're consistent. They put it on their homemade biscuits, which are to die for. I usually get a half order of the Spinach Florentine benedict. It's half a biscuit, spinach, tomato, the poached egg, and some hollandaise. Substituting the veggies for the Canadian bacon cuts the points considerably. They use really fresh ingredients in all of their meals, which is why it's so good.

A tiny place in Palo Alto called La Brioche. They make all of their own breads. And they also use really fresh ingredients. And their portion sizes aren't astronomical, which makes it easier. But their food isn't low point, by nature. You have to choose carefully.

Vaquero's in El Paseo shopping center in Saratoga. Exquisite food in a small place that you wouldn't look twice at. It's the best place if you want really great meat, but they also have great fresh fish and poultry dishes. (Not much here for vegetarians, though.)

A tiny restaurant at Stanford Shopping Center that specializes in excellent Italian food. Can't remember the name. And a bakery in the same place that has the best pastries. Their name is similar to two other bakeries I know of and I can't remember which is the one at Stanford.

El Burro at the Pruneyard in Campbell. Their menu is almost the same as it was in the '70's when they opened. Aside from adding fajitas and a few other trendy Mexican dishes and upping the spice as the "gringos" learned to like heat, the food is the same as it was back then. And the prices are great. Two people can eat for between $25 and $30 for dinner, including tip, if you don't drink alcohol. It's Americanized Mexican, but very good. My family comes home with four containers and we use our fingernails to write our initials on the top to make sure our leftovers don't "mysteriously disappear!!"

Todai's at Vallco Shopping center in Cupertino. A Japanese buffet. Sushi to die for. Great other foods. And teeny, bite-sized desserts so you can try more than one. Best thing--on your birthday you eat free!!

Except for Vaqueros, which specializes in meat, all of the restaurants have food that works for vegetarians. My son has a friend who is vegan, and that's a little more difficult to manage.

Thanks for the compliment on my cooking. Wish I could cook for you all. It would be great to make a special WW meal and see if you could tell that it's not the real thing!!

A lot of people tell me that I cook gourmet. My mother thinks I cook gourmet because I don't use canned mushroom soup to make Beef Stroganoff the "real" way. (When she told me that I wanted to ask her how many cans of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup they sell in Hungary?)

But mostly I cook simple, regular stuff. The main difference is that reading about cooking for over thirty years; practicing techniques; taking the classes at HomeChef when I worked there; and cooking, cooking, cooking has taught me how food works. So, I know why I'm doing what I do in the kitchen. I know how to get the best from a recipe. I know how to cook without a recipe, of course. But I always write out ingredient lists, including amounts, so I can calculate the points.

I use that knowledge to invent my own recipes, vary those that are good, but include ingredients my family won't eat, and fix recipes that are poorly written so they don't fail the first time I make it (as they would if I didn't know what I was doing.) It amazes me how many bad cooks (or maybe bad writers) get books published that are full of recipes that don't work the way the recipe says they should. Or the recipe will call for using three pots when one would work just fine, if only they had written the instructions properly. (Restaurant chefs, who are used to working with a cleanup staff are notorious for that one.)

To the subject at hand--I'm almost back within my point range. I've been getting hungry at night because I've been staying up to watch the Olympics, which has added a few points. It's only for a few more days, so I'm not worrying about it. I'm still doing my main, basic plan. The points will be back in line soon. Next week is heavy PMS time, but I'm not feeling the awful way I did last month, so I don't expect huge problems.

Judy, to set the record straight. I don't actually know what my current weight is. I haven't weighed myself, so I've left the last numbers I know of on my signature line.

Have a great day!

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
272/233/225/135 or so

Lin, I think the number of points I eat is fine, I just need to watch the spacing of them. I know without a doubt that I have to eat within 2 hours (at the very latest) of a Spinning class, and I know I need to eat carbohydrates. I could explain the physiological reasons for this, but your eyes would glaze over. Now, if I'm exercising this much and I stop losing, then I'll know that I need to increase points. But as long as I'm still losing, my body is getting enough fuel for the activity level I'm maintaining.

Kelly was there this morning, YAY! Marvelous class, I pushed hard. I also learned something very very important: even if I have the time, I CANNOT settle in for a long bath after class. Soothing, yes, but my muscles turned to mush and it was a challenge to get out!

Met Cynda for the abillera workshop today, I decided to do the broken woman panel and it's going to come together nicely. Just need to buy some thread and needles! We're going to have a luncheon when they're all done, and then they're going to be on display in the library. I'll take pictures and scan them so you guys can see.

I was at minimum points today, I seem to have gotten over my desperation. I made sheperd's pie for dinner tonight using veggie crumbles (something I make very often) so I'm all proteined up and quite content. If I'm at (or close to) minimum points for the next two days I get to buy my book!

Hey Lauren, do you know if giving someone a pager and not changing their contract to reflect a change to 24/7 support is legal? DH's sorta-boss (answers to the team manager, but manages a couple of teams to DH's one team) gave DH a pager so he is contactable out of hours. Reasonable for the IT industry, yes, but without it being in his contract? (I'm asking you because you were commenting on Judy's teaching/age issue, but anyone who knows can answer! )

Okay, gotta run, it's getting late and I have lecture in the morning. Bye Turtles!

Hi, tortoises.

Mousie, I don't know about the 24/7 support thing; I doubt it's illegal to ask more of employees. Overtime seems to go with the territory of our sucky corporate world these days. (Families? Life? Oh, you want *those*? There's the door, bub.) I hope he doesn't get paged often. Your tapestry sounds fascinating; I hope we can see it one day.

Judy, glad you're tracking again. Don't stop. I hope you're right about all of us turning a corner soon.

Lin, your restaurants sound lovely.

I was up this week on the scales, as I thought I would be. So I did some long, hard looking through my journal over the past six months to see what works for me and what doesn't. I've reached three conclusions of behavioral changes I need to make so that I'll stop playing with the same couple of pounds (as I've been doing since New Year's):

1. Stop banking my exercise points. I lose best when I don't bank them and rarely eat them. Sad, but true.

2. I've been aiming for 18 points before dinner, but I'm realizing that as my point ranges have gone down, I need to bring that before-dinner number down, too. So I'm going to aim for 16 points before dinner and eventually 14 points. This is going to be tough, since I'm a big afternoon eater. But I need to eat less than at the top of my range (which is currently 27 points), and that means cutting back throughout the day.

3. I have a friend who has wonderful food at her house. I used to go there just once a month, for book group, but lately I've been going there three times a month (extra meetings of different kinds), and that has affected my weight loss, too. So I've resolved that aside from book group, I will not eat at her house. (We go there after dinner, so the food is snacks, not a meal.) Last night I had to put that to the test, and BOY, was it rough. She made persimmon cookies and put out pistachios. And I hadn't had dinner, because I came straight from work. But I'd had a high-point day, so I just took my lumps and refrained from eating. As time passed, it got easier.

I'm realizing that I need to periodically stop and get motivated again to lose weight, remind myself that this *is* possible and that I really, really want it. The past three years, this is the time of year I've plateaued and/or gained weight. Then in the summer, I get back on track. I don't want that to happen this year, but that's exactly what I've been doing. I'm down exactly one pound for the past month and a half. And that is NOT what I want.

So last night I took stock and remembered that I really *am* excited about losing weight, that I really do want to lose another 50 or 60 pounds, that I want all the health benefits that come from being at my right weight, that I want the clothes, the fitness, the relief for my feet, the added years to my life, the added mobility. And to have all that, I have to do things that may feel uncomfortable or even a little painful. I have to deny myself the quantity of food that I want to eat, most of the time. I have to make some sacrifices. I will always have to do this, if I really want to get to and maintain the weight I should be.

I discovered something else yesterday, as I was walking around the office. I discovered that I love my body. I don't mean the way it looks; I mean that this body has given me so much. And I've treated it so badly for so many years. But even now, as I put it through its workouts, it responds. It's a little firmer, a little more energetic, a little slimmer, a little better balanced and more flexible. It walks taller. I don't want to keep hurting this body anymore. It's like this separate entity, a friend that's completely dependent on me to keep her healthy. I dunno, maybe that sounds weird. It's hard to put into words. I guess at the age of 42, I finally feel responsible for this body, and I care about it, especially as I see it respond. Maybe it's like owning a cat or dog and abusing it or neglecting it for many years, then starting to treat it a little better -- and watching how it responds to you with love. I feel like apologizing to my body for all those years, like I should make it up to it now.

Anyway. Those are my thoughts for today.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/196/189 by April 17

Hi, Turtles,

Erin, it sounds as if you're right on track. Glad you figured out what you need to do to get through those demanding, but wonderful spinning workouts.

Lauren, I'm saving that post. It's wonderful. I particularly liked your take on loving your body. When people talk about loving your body, they always seem to focus on how it looks. But your definition is so much deeper and more meaningful. Thanks!

I also liked your thoughtful analysis of your journal. It reinforces why my main goal this year is to write it all down, whether it's OP or not. So far, I have a record of every day since January 1. I consider that to be my biggest accomplishment because in the past, when I went off-program, I'd stop writing it down. That meant I also stopped facing what I was doing. It's helping me to stay more on track, so it's my continuing, immediate goal.

I was thinking today about how courageous we all are. Everyone who chooses to lose weight the hard way, by permanently changing the way we live, is a courageous person. It takes a lot of courage to go against the attitudes about how to lose weight that still prevail in our culture. Things like what you "can" and "can't" eat because you're "dieting" or you've lost weight and don't want to regain it. (The food police abound in our culture, which is why I don't tell people I'm following WW.) Things like you're supposed to lose it as fast as possible. I had a leader once who had lost over 100 pounds. It took her 3 years and she apologized for that, saying that she would have lost it faster but she refused to follow the program the "right way" for a long time. Or that you're a total failure if you don't follow your chosen weight loss program perfectly. (See previous story.) Etc.

It also takes a lot of courage to pick ourselves up after a fall and get back on track. It takes courage to do our program again and again, no matter how many times we must start, until we figure out what works for us.

It takes a ton of courage to face each day's choices, knowing that we might face our personal land mines. Emotional eating. Eating because we need a nap and can't take one. Eating because of PMS. Etc. We know that we can avoid them, but often we step right on top of them. It takes courage to face either situation. It takes courage to follow our new habits and avoid that land mine. It also takes courage to pull ourselves back together after we've blown ourselves up. I'm not usually a person who uses warlike metaphors, but sometimes this journey feels like a battle between me and myself.

Anyway, we need to continually congratulate ourselves for having the courage to face this day after day after day. We deserve a medal for every tiny battle we win, which sets us up to win the next one. No matter when we win the final battle and reach our goals, we deserve to give ourselves turtle-shaped medals just for having the courage to get out of bed in the morning and face these choices every single day, when it would be easier to stop fighting and do what we used to do.

That's my thought for the day.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
272/233/225/135 or so

Lin, I'm completely in love with the idea of Turtle-shaped medals. maybe lapel pins (though I always lose those. Seriously. I'm on pin #4 in about 2 years!). I think we are very brave to be doing this what *I* regard as the "real" way--by changing, permanently. I have a friend (the same friend who asked me to make her toffee then left it here, last fall) who has lost weight quickly countless times. It never stays off, ever. Sometimes she's at her goal for all of one day. Getting to goal is never the goal for her, either, she never celebrates it and defends it. She regains, then loses again, then regains, almost like she regains intentionally. I know that's just how it looks and that's not what's going on inside, but I remain confused. And I refuse to talk about WW with her, as she would be criticak of how "slowly" it's working.

Speaking of it working, I have 3 pounds that have stuck around all week that are driving me NUTS. I haven't eaten that many points (even if you figure in the candy points) and I've been drinking water like a camel. Seven liters of fluid yesterday, four of them water! Frustrating. Clothes are looser, too. Well, except my chest. I'm suddenly overflowing my bras. That's why I think it's PMS. UGH. I thought you weren't supposed to get PMS when you're on the Pill. But we've been changing my prescription the last couple of months, so all in all it's not that surprising. I'm really reluctant to go to a meeting when I'm holding onto a 3 pound gain, though.

Spinning last night was a different sub, and she was HARD! Extremely intense, always pushing, the class "ramped up"--ie, each song was harder than the last song, instead of being off/on intensity. It was work, not fun at all. Hmm. Better than Debby by far, but not an experience I would care to repeat. My thighs HURT this morning from the strain (I'm usually a bit sore, but not this sore). Kelly's on vacation next week so I'll only have two classses with other instructors. Thinking of going to kickboxing one of the days when I would usually take Kelly's class.

Failed my Physics test. 32% of the class outright failed (less than 40%) and 70% got less than 50%. Does this not mean that communication was wrong somewhere? The instructor was very defensive and kept saying "oh so it's my fault? So you think it's my fault?" when we suggested that the results were a bit skewed. Then he admits that he's never actually taught the class at semester before, and he doesn't actually read/look at our text--he just teaches us what he thinks is important. UGH! Thank god I'm not a physicist.

Off to a Turtle day, Turtles.