Okay...so I am in this great relationship with this super guy and he has been so supportive of me during the last year. (Got sober and put on 35 pounds). He used to be a chef, so he helped with the gain. Now he is behind me 100% on this WW thing. Helps so much to have him use WW program foods and make most meals with WW foundation.
Regardless, as I got heavier, I noticed that I was not laughing as much or nice and funny and kind to him at all. In the last few months, I found all sorts of reasons to fight and pick and argue. We always worked it out, but there were a few times when I wanted to bail. (Old habits). Regardless, I sat down with myself and really took a good look at the whole picture. I realized that I was so bummed about my body and my health and it was affecting my esteem and the way I treated him, my cat and my dog, and anyone else around me.
So....I got serious about my dilemma. I know in my heart that I love this man, but he is all but perfect. I realized that I was whining and bickering rather than coming up w/ a solution. I was upset about our lacking love life
and was afraid to say something about it.
I was also getting pretty fried about the lack of help around the house
.
So, naturally, I was transposing all of this onto him and avoiding a real conversation by being a brat and eating and complaining.
So.....after 3 weeks on WW this time, with a new attitude and a battery of support from 3FC, my girlfriends and my group, I see my part.
So what, right? Well......I have lost 7 pounds so far, (weigh in tomorrow) and I feel pretty cotton picken good. I am sleeping better than I have in over a year, I am laughing more, I feel completely satiated and I am taking all of my vitamins.
That brings me to my next thought. Last night, we were sitting on the sofa and he was laying around, as usual. I had already worked all day, fed the dog, done 2 loads of laundry and got the kitchen cleaned up. He does all or most of all of the cooking, so he's got that on me.
Regardless, the dog needed a bath and I was getting pretty fried again. I sat quietly and he asked me 3 times what was bothering me. I said, "when I figure it out, I will let you know". Crazy...no aruguments, no yelling, no games. Finally, I said, "this is a big house and I really would like to have some help. I don't believe that you will do things, so I end up doing them and it frustrates me". Then I said, "You know what else, I feel like you don't find me attractive anymore and that it is a bit of a battle to have intimate time with you". I could not believe it! It was so true and honest and calm. SO NOT ME!
He agreed, asked what he could do and then...you won't believe it! He got up, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded the next set and then we had a super night....really super.
I guess my point in all of this is that this WW thing goes much much deeper than just my scale or my pant sizes. Last night just goes to prove to me that taking care of myself makes a huge difference on so many levels.
I am starting to see how the little gifts I give to myself are not about shoes or movies or dates. Is about how I treat myself and what I will tolerate and what I will not.
Lots to say, but wanted to dump some other things than just my size.
Big hug you guys!
Will be back tomorrow with my current weigh in.
Kelly
___________
Wanna hear something cool??
My Man Too.
