[Dora140]

Howdy all,
At today's meeting folks were giving examples of the lack of support from families/loved ones/friends, etc.
One girl's example (from her husband!!!) was "What's ten pounds on a fat person?" !! I just wanna hunt him down and slap him!

Instead of that, I'd like to give her a list of just what 10 pounds does mean to a fat person. Maybe she'll show it to him and he will get a clue.

Many Thanks!

[kathleen61]

Dora , The poor lady should get a 10 pound sack of potatoes & throw it in his lap & say this is what 10 pounds is to a fat person . Of course I would add to the end of that something tart . How about 10 pounds of butter . I'll bet there's data of what happens to your body after losing 10 pounds . You know , like they have for smokers . (ie- a countdown).
What a heartless jerk ! Kathy

[MarySunshine]

WOW! It always amazes me when the people we love are so mean... Obviously, that husband just doesn't "get it". What does 10 pounds mean to a fat person??? I'll tell you what my first 10 pounds lost meant to me....

It meant...
...that I had regained control over my life.
...that I could breathe a little easier when I walked up the stairs.
...that I cared enough about ME to make good choices.
...that my clothes fit.
...that I was proud of myself for my great accomplishment!
...that I was started down a path of success!

My heart goes out to that woman from your meeting. Tell her to hang in there! 10 pounds is FANTASTIC!

[momof4girls]

What a total BLEEPING Jerk!!!

I can't imagine how she must feel. Ten pounds is TEN POUNDS!! Isn't it ten pound mark for each size??

Even ONE pound is fantastic....TEN pounds is AWESOME. Please give that lady a hug and tell her she is doing awesome.

I can't even imagine having a husband like that!


Angie

[Dora140]

Howdy all!

Thank you ladies, for taking the time to reply this holiday weekend. I personally like the ten pounds of potatoes analogy! (if I had that much butter in the house, I'd have to bake with it!)

It's hard to believe we CAN love heartless jerks like this. And she's had four kids with him, too.

Keep 'em coming!

[Rupertsmom]

Gosh, I tend to think of 10lbs as being a CLOTHING SIZE!! That's a big deal to me.

[Vada]

Oooooh, what a thoughtless jerk of a husband! Dora, your friend can only hope that those ten pounds lost will miraculously transfer themselves as extra brain cells into her husband's fat head! Obviously, he needs all of them that he can get!

[ShakeThoseHips]

Y'all, you know, as horrible as this man's comment is, it should make us think (and I know most of you probably already have) about how losing serious weight will seriously affect our lives...our perceptions of ourselves, our loved ones' ideas of how we are, etc.

Since this woman isn't here, obviously we can say upfront that her husband is a complete ***. But what if she WERE here? I mean, just hearing what he said makes me wonder if he isn't an abusive mate, yet you can't just SAY that to someone you barely know. Or maybe you can...? Most of us are so used to feeling inadequate and foolish (I know I have been) that we feel uncomfortable about telling our buds that their mates are downright dangerous in their unwillingness to support our friends' losing weight.

I wouldn't begin to suggest that one should leave her husband for this kind of thing. But dang, it seems to me that counseling is TOTALLY NEEDED here....? Would y'all agree?

STH

[BigFatBooty]

there are just some people out there who just don't think before they speak or realize the effect of what they say can have on someone.

I have a older sister who is very slim (and always has been) who keeps making destructive comments about my weight. The first time I joined WW I told her, and every week there was a concerned "phone" call asking about my progress, but at the end there was always some kind of sarcastic comment. Or I would go round and be eating something and she would say - "not that low fat diet crap - I don't want any".

When I rejoined WW this time, the only person I told was my husband and he (fortunately) is very supportive. I have decided that I need to lose weight for me and anyone who is not prepared to help me attain my goal, does not need to be part of the equation. My WW group also pointed out that it could be a jealousy/threat thing with my sister as she is older than me. I pointed out that I would never be as thin as her and they said never say never. I am not competing with anyone, the only person I am competing with is me and that at the end of the day is what really counts.

So to sum it up (boy I do go on ) ignore the destructive comments and carry on. No doubt the same people that are putting you down will be the same people praising you when you get to your goal


Oh I forgot - what does 10lbs mean to me. It means that I can lose weight, that I have the determination and the willpower and that new outfit is just that little bit closer!

[Itryharder]

Amen,
Losing 10 pounds to me proves I know how to treat myself well. It proves I have a handle on weight loss and living in a healthy manner. It proves I can do it!
Good luck to your friend. I hope her husband made this comment without thinking and didn't mean it to sound so destructive. Sure makes you wonder.
Tell her to keep on keepin' on!

234/207/thinner

[Snookems]

I was reading an article in Health magazine today about how marriage (I guess it would apply to co-habiting as well) can make you fat... if you eat like your husband/sig. other. It covered several topics, but one that caught my eye was the one that suggested that men may consciously (or unconsciously) sabotage your efforts to lose weight. It has been proven in several studies that women who have the support of their spouse/mate lose more weight than those that don't. Some men, though, can't give that support because of their own insecurities. I.e. they might feel that if you lose weight (especially a lot) then you're going to look so good that you'll start looking for a better man - so he does things to tempt you or discourage you so that you don't lose the weight so he doesn't have to admit to these feelings.

I'm lucky in that my fiancee is generally very supportive. We go for lots of walks and he even comes to my TOPS mtgs. It's a shame that a lot of women aren't able to get that kind of support from someone so close to them, and that the one person they should be able to count on does mean things to try to discourage them instead.

Christine