[KimberlyP]

Hi Everyone!

For the past couple months I've been on and off track, I don't know if it's because I'm so close to goal or I'm just bored. Last weekend I went way overboard and ate and ate and ate, there was no end to my eating. I was so nauseated and I'm finding myself going back to my old ways once again. This is a struggle for me, food will always be my addiction just as Heroine is to a drug addict. Unfortunately I can't just stop eating due to the fact that in order to survive, one must eat.

I think the combination of working midnights, then having to turn around and get my kiddos ready and off to school in the morning is stressing me out. I'm also going to be working a second job while trying to finish school. I've turned to food late at night when I get home from work, some nights I stay on track and track everything I eat, others I could care less because I'm so tired.

I wish food didn't control my life, it's a struggle just to get through the day without thinking about the next time I'm going to eat. I think about food all day. I didn't want to admit it but I feel if I don't get it off my chest, I'm going to gain back every ounce of fat I lost. A few of you have advised me to try maintenance for a while but I can't bring myself to do it because I want to get to goal so bad.

Lately carbs have been an issue, I've craved them and horribly. I bought the new South Beach Diet book and I think I'm going to try and incorporate it with Weight Watchers. When I did Atkins, my cravings for sugar went away completely but I don't want to go back on that plan because for me it's too extreme. I'm hoping South Beach will help get me on the right track not only with my eating but with my thinking.

I wish this site had a journaling thread!

[joyfulloser]

I'm a calorie counter...but I feel your pain. Just yesterday I ate over 5,000 calories...which included take-out Jamaican food (oh the fat!), and one full pint of baskin robbins ice cream! I ate until my heart's content. No calorie counting, no moderation, no caring about anything but how delishous this food was and pondering over how much I miss real ice cream. It was really soooo good though. but. I. digress. (aaaahhh...memories)

Anyhoot, this is how I view it. I WILL NOT feel guilty for endulging. I just WON'T. That food was absolutely OUTRAGEOUSLY delishous and if I had it to do all over again, I would. This is why:

1. We (you even moreso than I), have lost a great deal of weight and have showed that we are in control of our diets (denying ourselves occasional spasmatic splurges will not disprove what 1 year or better + 60+ lbs has already proven); and

2. The mental abuse of feeling the need to "explain" why you ate a plate of pasta, or ice cream or whatever probably causes more stalls in fat loss than simply "allowing" yourself a treat every now and again. I mean an unadulterated/unmoderated free for all treat (not every day), but let's say once a month.

Today...I'm really not even all that hungry, but feel mentally much better. My calories just naturally fell low today (prolly cuz I literatlly ate myself to sleep on the couch last night), and I'm up for my nightly 5 mile run.

I think it's best to put your past in your behind (oops..) I mean...well yunno!

[shcirerf]

I hear ya. I'm very close to goal as well. But what I really want right now is a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate malt.

I think it's all part of the process. Plus a night job, and kids and school and so on. A lot of stress. I used to work nights so I know how tough it is. You never feel like you're getting enough sleep. I think that contributes to the cravings.

Hang in there.

[osu2k1]

Last week I had huge stress, and I ate, didn't track (did it mentally, which of course isn't good) and I gained .2.
I know a lot of it was due to the fact that life was totally chaotic and we were out of routine. But this week I set my goal of tracking and hitting the gym (which I hadn't done last week).

I really think you are so close that you might be "getting used" to being done (almost) and you are unconsciously slipping. Not doing it on purpose! I think just making a mental note/blog it/post it so you can be held accountable next week to do XYZ. You can do it, you are so close!!! I am green with envy! Hugs!

[pointspluspioneer]

I have not lost in over 10 weeks and I'm THIS close to saying forget it but then something brings me back. I tell myself that if i gain back the 15 or so lbs. I've lost, it's all that work I would have to do all over AGAIN! I don't really have any advice as i'm feeling the same way other than keep going, you have come SOOOO far and so close Hang in there Kim!

[uncontentgirl]

I'm right there with you. Ive been on WW for almost 4 months and have only lost 10lbs.... most of which happened within the first couple weeks... since then I have been losing and regaining the same 2lbs.... its REALLY disheartening... But I just keep going and know that, hopefully soon, I will reach my goal! And YOUR an inspiration!! Wow you've lost SO much weight!!! Whenever I feel discouraged, I think of you and the other women here that have lost SO much weight and know that I can do it too! Dont stop! So you have some bad days....you've done SO much! Dont stop now!!

[barbaramatafeo]

Hang in there Kimberly! You have made it this far