Learning to live with the changes....
Today I spent the afternoon at my grandmother's; I stayed with her while my mother went to get groceries. The bad part about being over there is that there's always good stuff around to eat (read: cookies and cakes....lol.) There was a bag of "chocolate haystack" cookies there, and I was feeling a bit peckish....and before I knew what I had done, I had devoured three of them. They're not very big, mind you, but still. *L* And of course, I didn't have my WW calculator with me so I have no idea how many points they were.
And so of course, I was beating myself up over having eaten them, because "oh my god, they're cookies, they're chocolate, how could I, oh my god!" You know what I mean.
But then, after I got home, I started thinking. Really thinking. And I realized: okay, I ate those three cookies and I have no idea how many points they were. But up to that point in the day, I had only eaten breakfast anyway, which was 10 points, and then the cookies, and then dinner (which was 6 points.) I have a daily points allowance of 29. So with breakfast and dinner, I only ate 16 points, which leaves me 13 points...even if those cookies were 4 points each, that still brings me in at 28 points.
And ****, then I realized: even if I did go over my daily points allowance, I've exercised every day this week, and I haven't used any of my 49 weekly points, so what the ****? So I ate three cookies. It's not the end of the world. I eat well 90% of the time, and I exercise every day, so if I want a cookie (or three!) I'll damn well have it, and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. Last week at my weigh-in I had lost 2.6 pounds, and that was after having cookies AND cake at my grandmother's birthday party. The only difference then was that I didn't even think about it, let alone beat myself up over it.
So this week's weigh-in is tomorrow night, and if I lose, I lose. If I gain, I gain. But if three small cookies have that much of an effect on my progress, then I can't blame the cookies. The work I've been doing in terms of exercise and food choices should be enough to cushion the "blow" of an occasional not-so-great choice.
It's just been an adjustment realizing that this REALLY isn't a "diet", and that if I want this to stick for the rest of my life, I *can't* deprive myself of things I like (like those chocolate haystack cookies, oh my GOD they're to die for.)
Sorry for the novel I've written! *L*
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