So I noticed a thread called "Food Police," read it, and can relate in a different way. Instead of having blogging food criticism it is my family and BF that feel they can attack everything that comes near my mouth.
My dad (who is overweight, but uses his disability as an excuse) has been sabotaging my mom ever since we started Weight Watchers, but criticizes her whenever she eats anything. For example, the first night we joined, he came, and wanted to go to the grocery store afterwards. What does he buy? A chocolate cake. He then proceeded to tell my mom how she could not have a piece. On one hand it's a good thing I don't live with them, because every time I go over for dinner he analyzes every bite I put in my mouth, but on the other, my BF is a huge pain at timed.
Even though both my BF's sister and I have explained to him numerous times that the point of WW is not to deprive myself, but develop a reasonable lifestyle and eating habits, he still doesn't seem to get it. Every time I have anything that is not low fat, he has to say something. Whether it's that I don't need it, or I shouldn't have it, I don't care. IT IRRITATES ME!!! We have talked about it, and he is slowly getting better, but why is it that naturally skinny people think they have the right to judge and criticize those of us who do not naturally have an extremely high metabolism? He eats all junk at 2AM and never gains a pound, BLAH! Which open a whole other problem... he has to have his junk food, which just constantly tempts me. He doesn't understand why I can't just ignore it. Hello, I have an obsession with food. If I'm not thinking about what I am going to eat, I'm thinking about how I am going to keep myself from eating, and having junk food constantly around makes that really hard.
I solved this problem by not telling anybody I am dieting. This keeps the diet police quiet. I just say I prefer a salad tonite, or I don't feel like desert. It is hard , but it can be done.
I know.. it sucks. I dont have a lot of advise... because it's that behavior that lead me down the road to divorce. Every bite I took was critized. I was watched very closely when doing exercise videos - if I did a step off or stopped for a couple seconds I was ridiculed. I was made fun of for being overweight. It was a very rough time. I harbored so much resentment and built a massive wall between me and him.
I'm sorry, I dont know what to tell you. It's very difficult to help other people see what you're doing and get them to understand. From my experience, for the sake of your relationships, don't let it get to you.
KimL...right there with you sister! I have had "friends" say things like "are you allowed to have that?...and I say, actually, yes I can...thanks for asking. They say, is that on your diet...and I say...the best thing about WW is it's actually NOT a diet it's a life style, and besides, the first 3 letter in Diet is DIE...and I'm living! I really love it when they try to force food on you, like "you have to try this cake, I made it special etc...and I will say, no thanks. If they keep insisting...I toss it in the trash can...right in front of them...and I make no appologies. I figure if they keep insisting after I politely say no thanks, then they really arn't my friend...and I don't really care if they get pissed off...they don;t care about me if they keep pushing food on me. It's all about setting boundries and YOU being in control of YOUR food! I believe these people that try to set you up...are 1. not your friends...2 don't respect your decissions and 3 are jealous.
DO NOT let these people make choices for you...you are a big girl and have a brain of your own. You and only you are responsible for what goes in your mouth...and guess what...you will be wearing what you eat...not them!
Don't get me started...been there...hard lesson to learn.
I'm not on WW...but I can relate to the problem of a significant other who loves junk food, and food that's not healthy for him.
My husband doesn't really care what he eats...he prefers things fried over baked (though it's getting better slowly), and gives no thought to portion sizes. We plan meals for three weeks at a time, and I'm always wanting to put in more baked chicken, or grilled stuff, but he's not having it. I've brought him a long way, but there are nights when he just wants fried potatoes, or something like that.
I'm torn on those nights. I can't force him to eat better, and want him to be happy as well. Sometimes I give in and just eat a little bit of the "bad" stuff he wants. But I'm finding now that I can find a happy medium.
If I'm cooking something and he wants his potatoes fried...I'll take a portion for myself and bake them in the oven, seasoned all the heck, instead of frying them. If he's craving chicken fried steak or chicken and gravy...I'll do mine on the george foreman grill and skip the gravy.
Why do people feel it's necessary to do that? I don't get it. My husband does the same thing. I cook 2 different dinners every night, one for him & my daughter and something for me. If I eat anything that isn't "perfect" he jumps on me for it. Like yesterday... I had 500 cals left for the day! That's a lot! So after dinner I decided too have 3 Chips A Hoy cookies, which are something like 160 cal. He jumped all over about how I shouldn't be eating cookies, blah blah blah. So I explained to him that I didn't eat much & had a ton of extra calories left to eat. So he says, ok, well if you don't eat them that's just more weight you'll lose... HELLO?! Are you brain dead?! I don't think a lot of people do it on purpose, I really believe my husband was only trying to help me stay on track. That's nice & all, but damn, give me a break! I think he'll have a heart attack on Thanksgiving as I've already decided I'm eating as much turkey, potatoe & corn as I can fit in my stomach! I'm skipping rolls & desert & stuffing though. I can just imagine how he'll flip when he sees me eat a normal meal again, you know, like the "naturally skinny" people eat all the time and don't think about!
I really love it when they try to force food on you, like "you have to try this cake, I made it special etc...and I will say, no thanks. If they keep insisting...I toss it in the trash can...right in front of them...and I make no appologies.
I have found that I have to have the same conversation with my husband every few weeks. It basically goes like this: "I appreciate that you want to help so thank you for that. However, here are the ways that you can really help me..." and then I tell him how he really can help. Things like please don't offer me food off of your plate and allow me some time to myself to get exercise in. Again, this conversation has happened over and over again and then he starts slipping. But now that I think about it, it's been awhile since we've had this conversation and he's been doing pretty well. Maybe we're finally getting to a point where it's the new normal...
Obnoxious Food Criticism
I love it.
