Hi jersey,

WELCOME.... I hope you don't mind, I moved your question over to the Ladies Who Lift forum. I know the Ladies here will definitely be able to help you with your question.
Here are my 2 cents though

...
I doubt that at 110# that you have 'fat' arms when at rest or 'manly' arms when flexed, we are always our own worse critics, I'm the same although I try not to be, I try really hard

...... Anyways, IMHO, I find the 'manly' muscular arms on women very sexy and strong, at least it shows that they are working out. Now, let's also say that your arms would look more defined when at rest, this would also mean that they would look more 'manly' when flexed though, if this is the look you want, that's fine too... I personally love definition on a woman relaxed or flexed...
Here are a few suggestions... Is your diet squeaky clean? As unprocessed as possible? If so, great !! This would maybe help melt the fat, from your arms and everywhere really, and expose the muscles underneath...Are you lifting to failure, as heavy as possible so that on your 10th rep you can go no more? Are you doing intense cardio to burn the fat?
I hope this helps, I'm sure that someone else will come along with some great suggestions...