Thanks for offering to help, Meg!
I'm at the gym 5 days a week, and since I've cut down to 30 mins of cardio a day, I don't mind lifting each time I'm at the gym. My only thing is that I wait tables 2 nights a week, and I cannot work my legs on days that I'm going to waitress or I literally won't be able to do my job

I have to work around that but otherwise I'm willing to do whatever, whenever.
As far as my upper body stuff goes, I'm still really a beginner, and I don't seem to be gaining strength and advancing the same way I am with my legs (although I am starting to be able to see my muscles). But basically what I've been doing are: 1. Biceps. I pretty much just do curls or hammers, depending on my mood. 2. Shoulders. I do these things where I hold my arms by my sides and then lift the weights to slightly above my shoulders so that I make a big T with my body. They are hard. 3. Triceps. I'm still working on finding a tricep exercise that I like and that doesn't make me feel like a fool. I mostly do tricep pulldowns with a pathetic 25lb of weight. 4. Pecs. I've been doing pec flys with the "function trainer" machine. I find these to be really hard. I'm still only doing 10lb on each side and have made no progress yet. I'm shaking like a fiend and have completely lost my form by the time I do the 10th rep of the 3rd set 5. Shoulders/back: Lat Pulldowns. 6. Seated Rows.
I only do these 6 things on upper body day. It seems inadequate, but I still can't finish whatever it is I do last (except Lat Pulldowns. These I can aways finish.
On leg day, I've started doing wall squats with a ball (which still leave my knee feeling really dodgy--I'm working slowly, slowly up to real, grown-up squats) along with seated hamstring curls (?), the leg press, calf things and then some crunches and unweighted lower back extensions (these kill me and I've never done more than 10).
So that's pretty much what I do. I've ordered that Body Sculpting Bible for Women and I'm hoping that will give me some new and improved ways of working different muscle groups.
How would you recommend dividing it all up?
As an aside, how can I be such a weakling???? Why have I not yet become strong and muscular??? I am a big, non-overweight person. Now that I've written everything out, I feel suddenly disappointed in myself.