I am not losing it, I'm getting more of it. Probably due to too much eating out and too much sugary pop. I was also taking chromium supplements and I read one of the adverse effects was weight gain in inactive women (me).

I'm so depressed. I don't even know where to start or if I should start again. maybe I'm just destined to be the chubby girl. I have a fiance now so it doesn't matter, right?

/whining

It always matters. It has nothing to do with whether you're engaged or dating or whatever. It's what YOU feel about you that matters. And you don't seem to be happy being overweight. So don't give up!

I don't know about chromium, but if it affects inactive women...become an active woman! Do you work out, or are you relying on diet changes alone to lose weight?

Also, sodas are very bad for losing weight. Try switching to diet if you just can't live without it.

I know exactly how you feel. I am depressed too. I lost my job a few months ago, so I have been extra inactive for the last few months. Though being a mom of 3, I feel like I am active all day. But the job I lost was a very physical job, with lots of moving and heavy lifting all day. So, now here I am about 4 months later and about 20 pounds heavier!! I do not think I eat tons of food, I feel like I am getting enough exercise all day with running around after 3 young kids and cleaning all day. But then night comes and I am alone, man is at work, kids are asleep-I eat. A bag of microwave popcorn, a bowl of cereal and a glass of chocolate milk. Not every night, but often. Now, I guess when I worked, I just went right to sleep after I put the kids to bed, and I was more active. But now, I am so fat and so filled with self hate that I just don't care. I think when I eat, "why am I doing this, I don't care, is it really hurting that much?" But then I see the scale when I go to my mom's house (I do not own a scale!) and it creeps up each time I step on it. I feel so fat and ugly, yet I have a great guy, not fat like me, telling me he loves me. So why should I care. I guess for my kids. I guess for me. But what is going to motivate me to do it. I do not seem to have the motivation to stick to any diet. I did join Weight Watchers and lost about 10 pounds, but then gained it all back when I lost my job! I feel destined to be the fat, not chubby, just downright FAT girl forever. Unless, someone out there can help me, be my motivator? Be my shoulder to lean on? Anyone out there?

Lots of perfectly good shoulders, right here on 3FC!

Welcome to the site, and my congratulations on making the decision to change your life. That first step is a terror, I know.

Hi Phatgirl.... yes, there is hope. We all get discouraged at times. Hang in there.

You DID say, however, that you are eating out a lot and drinking too much sugary pop. Yep... reality is we need to eat healthful foods and not tank up on wasted junk calories and chemicals, etc. Believe me, once you get going on it, it's a very nice way to eat and there are plenty of healthful foods which you can enjoy.

Also, let me encourage you to get on a great exercise program if you are not already.

Unfortunately there are no magic pills... at least none which work. But you CAN lose it... just like the rest of us are... if you just "eat right and move your butt."

Go for it! You CAN do it!!

And April... hope you hang in there too! Too many people look for "motivation" as if it is some magic feeling that will keep us going. Feelings are fickle and even when we get them they don't last. What lasts and makes us do this is making a DECISION we are going to do it and sticking with it. Believe me... I have just lost 65 pounds and even though I have 63 more to go, it IS worth it... already. I am like a different person in the way I look and feel and the things I can do.

Nobody is destined to be fat. And people can be your encouragers and supporters and yep, even shoulders to lean on .. but no one else can be your motivator. The decision and determination has to come from you. However, I hasten to add that there is TONS of support and encouragement here... and even HUMOR which helps all of us keep going! I encourage you to check around the forum and join in anywhere... there are lots of fat chicks who would love to be your friends and encouragers.

A little over a year ago I weighed nearly 300 pounds and wasn't doing anything about it because I thought I would be fat for the rest of my life -- after all, I had tried to lose weight before and only ended up gaining it all back, and then some!! I think I know exactly how you feel.

Somehow, I found the courage to start. Again. But this time it was different. I had always “cheated” on diets before, but this time I figured out that I wasn’t cheating anyone but myself by “cheating”

So, I started slow – bringing lunch and snacks to work and thinking about portions. I didn’t even exercise formally at first, but just tried to move more. A month passed, I lost 13 pounds, and started writing down what I ate – big shocks! And I started calorie counting, trying to keep to 2000/day. At my starting weight of 282, that worked. Then I added in exercise, slowly, and have started trying to eat more healthy foods and have a generally more healthy lifestyle.

I’ve lost over 100 pounds and can do things now I never could before. I have been obese my entire adult life, and as I near “non-obesity” it’s like the world is changing in so many ways!

It took me until age 39 to really start to put it all together. If you find any inspiration in my story, please use it to tell yourself that you CAN do this too! My advice is to start slow if you are overwhelmed, and to be sensible. If you can, get a nutritionist and talk to your doctor about sensible approaches. Finally, don’t expect miracles overnight, but know that a year later, it can be like you’re a different person…

Good luck!!

Soda and the likes would definitely be a strong hinder - so many empty calories in these, they don't even make you feel like you have something in the stomach, it's like, well, it's all useless, so to say?

And I'm going to be a little graphic here, but regarding the fiance bit, just think of the intimate moments to make you feel courage. I like being on top, and he likes me to be on top too; I don't want to gain weight and end up making him physically uncomfortable under, uh, said extra kilos. Perhaps you could think about similar things to help strengthen your resolve? (Oh, and be aware of quantities! We women tend to easily end up eating as much as our men, and it's noooot good at all.)

You don't have to start like a powerhouse and do "everything right, right from the start". For instance, walking only 15 minutes a day for starters doesn't take much time, and is a nice form of exercise that can easily be increased once you feel better and "trained". Cutting down on one soda a day, then o ntwo, etc, would be another example of what can be done. Baby steps are easier to follow on the long term than big, overhauling changes that make us feel like it's impossible to do it, and like it's too much.

In any case, I hope that you'll find what it takes for you to go on the healthy road. It IS worth it, I can tell you.

thanks so much for the support. Wow, the quality of responses on this board is amazing! I took a lot of these to heart and I hope that my attitude will change with regard to weight loss. I am going to calorie count because that has worked for me in the past. Thanks so much!!

Glad it helped, but keeping posting here and asking questions and all!

Good luck!