Try this trick: the first thing you eat out of any meal is the vegetables. Then you eat your protein, THEN you eat your carbs (whatever they are). Veggies and protein come first, and then you can have other stuff--if there's room! Your body needs the stuff in veggies and protein, the vitamins and minerals and fiber and amino acids. Eat a reasonable portion of those, and see how well they fill you up!

For me, this journey is teaching me something new all the time. Just when I thought I understood how my body/metabolism would respond ( I have to eat less than 1000 calories- workout 6X a week to lose, etc... Blah, blah, blah) , I'm amazed at how WRONG I am and have been for years. I've allowed myself to try different things with an open mind and have seen positive results. Its shaken up my perspective. Which is what I think is key. For most of my adult life I chose to view exercise as a chore if not a punishment...HATED IT!!! I got used to hating it, like that idea was now part of my personality. Making better food choices felt like I was being deprived, Oh poor me. Being deprived is not having food, much less the many wonderful choices I have. Now both are (and on going) just part of my everyday life. Much like the "Oh poor me" attitude was. I never believed/understood I had this choice or that it was much easier than I made it out to be. I look back and think what a Puss I was and sometimes still am. I had it all figured out, what I could or couldn't do without ever once giving all my options a chance.

I'm glad to hear we are providing some encouragement! That is one of the many strengths of this place. Keep reading, keep posting... ask lots of questions. Definitely, re-read what people wrote!

Many people seem to have an all-or-nothing mentality about this process, and it's not the kind of attitude that changes overnight. None of this changes overnight, except maybe the decision to make a commitment to it!!

You hit the nail on the head with planning. When I started this journey last summer, one of the first things I did was plan more what I would eat. And I found the easiest way to do that was to bring lunch to work. But there's not always time in the morning to put everything together, so you can do a lot of it the night before.

Today's Sunday, so before I go to bed I am going to have to make up some baggies of baby carrots and other bags of grapes for hubby and I to take to work. If I think I want a salad, I may cut up my veggies ahead of time, or prepackage other snacks for us.

When you say you are finding few foods you can eat, what's making it so you can't eat something? Identifying your barriers (mental or physical) is another big step in the process...

This time I'm actually reading the servings and logging them. WHen I dieted previously (I always got pregnant and gained it back..no more), I did 2 things to reduce portions. I would use a child's plate (without too much heaping on it) to put my foods on it. Another is I would fix my normal amount and I would eat HALF. Then I would put the other half in the microwave (out of sight). I would force myself to wait ONE HOUR. If I remember or I'm still hungry, I would eat it. Otherwise I would wait until I was ready to eat again and eat it. I never told myself I COULDN'T have it, just told myself to slow down. This meant I ate 2 full meals spread over 4-5 meals. Because I was eating often, I didn't feel deprived.

As far as few foods, you might be very pleasantly surprised once you start writing them down and researching. Start with food categories, then meal categories.

For Veggies I like: brocolli, lima beans, peas, green beans, corn, bell peppers, onions, baby carrots, celery, mushrooms, olives, garlic, tomato, potato, cucumber, sweet potato (limited), spinich (in dips), avacado, asparagus, cabbage (in soups), many beans (also a protein), hummus (from chickpeas), etc.

You may not like all of these, but there are tons of different veggies out there. I also tried new things every so often. Some things I didn't like and others I was suprised. Hummus was one of them.

Ditto on the obstacles. I don't want to bore everybody here with my obstacles list, but If you want, I can PM you and you can see an example (though yours will be different).

That's why we have NSV (non scale victories). For example, in the past if I stopped at McD's I had the double quarter pounder with cheese meal (maybe even supersized it). Nowadays I stick to a ckn nugget happy meal (or salad or fruit). That's a definately improvement. I don't recommend eating out alot, but it's nice that my thoughts are changing without too much deprivation feelings.

I'm glad I came back to this thread too. We are moving on Friday and I had to think hard about food for this week. I bought boneless skinless chicken breasts, pork chops, fish and a frozen lasagne. I also bought bagged salad, romaine and some other salady veggies and whole grain buns and bread.
Each night for supper I will cooked one from the first list and serve it with salad and the fella's can have a crusty bun or slice of bread.
Couldn't be easier ... and just a quick lesson on how simple eating can make your dieting life more simple. You don't have to be much of a cook either.

I'm not a maintainer. I've never even been much of a loser. My newest attempt is not about weight loss, though. It's about getting my head straight and establishing some healthy habits regarding regular activity.

Susan's recommendation of This for Life is good. You should read it. I checked it out at the library and am now almost finished with it. It's one of five or six books that I'll use to work on my behaviors that work against my desires to be healthier.

Do a search here for "books". I also found Geneen Roth through this site. When I read When Food is Love, it was like she was writing my biography. I have two other books by her on the way now from Amazon--Breaking Free From Emotional Eating and Why Weigh which is a sort of work book to address eating issues. I can't wait to get started.

I'm 39. Just so you know, I don't intend to weigh 180 when I turn 40 next August. And I'm using the time it takes me to lose these 35 pounds to do my homework to make sure I never have to see that number again.

Edit to add:

I'm not much of a cook, either. Bags of chicken tenders, frozen salmon or tilapia, and bags of salad just about make themselves.

You can do this.

Two words: soups and stews! Well ok that's three! I don't have kids but nonetheless have an extremely busy day. I sometimes make a big pot of stew or chilli with lean meats and vegetables and divide it up into gladware pots as portions, then freeze it. On a morning I'll take a pot out to defrost, it's ready to be heated when I get home from work. Saves a lot of time and you don't need to be a culinary genius to make stews/soups/chillis.

Leftovers are my best friend also. Many of the meals I make serve 4 or 6 and with there being only hubbie and I, we eat leftovers until the meal is gone.

I'm glad you saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It can be done. My weight loss has been the 2nd hardest thing I have done, (the first being marriage! ), it can seem overwhelming and difficult but once you start to see clearly through the panic and negativity, you can do it.

I'll have to disagree with you there. Most people don't really start acting like adults until their 30's. You've only had 5 years of it. That's spring chicken status still! Why do you think we have a lower age limit of 35 years for our presidents? We don't want spring chickens in the white house!

Take a look around this site - there are hundreds of recipes, most of them healthy foods that fit into a losing lifestyle. No excuse for punishing yourself with restricting foods. If you don't enjoy what you're eating, you won't stick with the change of lifestyle.

As for the sweets/fried foods - give yourself a week without them. The cravings will disappear. I can't remember the last time I ate something deep fried. My DH had a funnel cake at the state fair this weekend, and I was actually turned off by how it was made, and how greasy it smelled. I'm surprised that anyone eats them after watching them make them in fact - they use a nossle and drizzle the batter into a vat of hot fat - ick!

Really, though, the first change you need to make is in your attitude. We are all very tuned into believing our inner voices. Yours is saying

and

Try giving yourself more positive messages, like "I am eating this way (whatever plan you choose) to be healthy." or "I enjoy the way I feel when I get enough exercise."

And as someone mentioned, look into adding some weight training to your exercise. It'll help you build muscle (NOT bulk) and muscle is metabolically active - it burns fat! The "stickied" threads under Ladies Who Lift will help you get started. Really it doesn't take a lot of time - you can get good results lifting as little as 3 days a week.

Finally, I'd advise you to look at the "stickied" threads under maintenance to see how our losers are coping with their new lifestyles. They have lots of good insight and advice.

doIlookfat?,

One of my friends weighs atleast 180, while her sister is the same height as she is and weighs around 115 (theyre both around 5'7). She feels the same way you do- And I must say, its natural to feel that way.
I'm naturally small (not necessarily THIN, but...) and I used to be absolutely obnoxious about dieting and exercising. I did it often, but hated it because I felt like it was a ******* right for me to eat whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. I felt like it shouldn;t be some sort of thing that I must control, I didn't want to sweat and burn fat on my own spare time. Why waste it? I shouldn't have to do this!
Then it hit me- when change is permenant, it IS permenant. You MAY feel like eating what you eat now even as if try not to, but when you rid your body of harsh ingredients, your body will soon lose the affinity for foods you may cry over for now. I used to love cupcakes. I don;t anymore, as much as I would love to. I can't! The body hates them now!
Exercising? God, that awful dreaded prescription for any fat person made me avoid it for years. And now? I can't go one day without it. I look forward to it. I NEED it. It destresses me, it builds my confidence, it makes my heart stronger, and it makes ME stronger. Strong enough never to fall back on my same mistakes as long as I KEEP ON DOING IT. If you did it, long enough, and stuck to it, you WILL SEE that there's no other way to live then the way you will then.

Bless your heart! Rough day huh? (Rough week, rough month... take yer pick)

I feel ya. Are you just being lazy and glutenous? I don't think so. But I do think YOU'RE WALLOWING. And guess what? We ALL DO from time to time. Sometimes it takes a REAL kick in the pants to get us going!!

Honey, lemme tell ya... I'm 43 years old. I have lost & gained about 30 pounds AT LEAST five times in my adult life! (I'm not even talk'n bout the weight I lost/gained as a child/teenager....too depressing!) I KNOW what it takes to DO IT. I know it's SIMPLE, but it's not EASY. I HATE giving up my favorite foods! (Cookies, cakes, pies, chips, dips, fried foods, & yeah, just about anything with any real TASTE!) I DESPISE myself when I see the blobby chunks of chub on my butt, arms, belly, FACE. (you can hide most anything with certain clothes, but you can NEVER HIDE YOUR FACE.) I get SO EXCITED when I see the scale go down, down, down, and then EQUALLY DISAPPOINTED when I see it creep back up again.

But you know what????

I am GOING to lick this weight problem if it's the LAST THING I ever DO in my LIFE! (And it may very well be!....ugh.....) I started getting serious about weight loss when I stopped looking at it as a "bad thing" - because I had to give up (or cut down) my favorite foods, etc. When I stopped "doing the diet dance" for my vanity & starting doing it FOR MY HEALTH, things made more sense & actually made my choices easier.

Another thing - I learned to stop comparing myself to my skinny counterparts... friends, family, strangers on the street, 15 year old girls with perfect bodies...knowing I'll NEVER look like that EVEN IF I LOST ALL THE WEIGHT FOR GOOD! ..... waaaah.... But remembering my youth as a time of passage - something we ALL go through, and realizing that I AM AN ADULT NOW, and it's up to ME to take care of ME and it's MY FAULT IF I DON'T, and it's MY WOO-HOO IF I DO! I take responsibility for my failures and I celebrate my successes!

WEIGHT LOSS: I will continue this fight every single day of my life, until I die. Gaining weight is a bummer; losing weight feels good, keeping the weight off is just one more mountain to climb. NO - it's never easy. But it's ALWAYS worth it. And as my mama always said "Can't never could do anything."

So if you feel like wallowing right now - go ahead! Get it out of your system! (I've done my fair share of it too!) But rejuvenate yourself with good positive self-talk. Gain some strength, and then go head-forward into the fight again.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Big hugs to you!

The best thing you can ever do for yourself is celebrate the moments you DO make a BETTER choice. This can be a really good choice like veggies and lean meat or it can be that instead of ordering that quarter pounder with cheese meal, you ordered a kids meal. It can be that you drank 64 fl oz of water instead of your normal 8 fl oz. It can be that you walked around the block instead of sitting at home. Making changes isn't a completely new thing overnight. It takes time. Take it one step and one moment at a time and love yourself when you are good to yourself!

I started this latest weight loss journey at age 42. I'm now 43 (I did it once before at age 31 and kept at goal for 5 years). I intend to get to my goal by the time a whole year has passed. I've been high-fived by my doctor for finally taking his advice to lose weight. It isn't easy and it isn't always fun, but it is possible.

I've found so much support here, not only from members posting answers to my own questions, but from reading about what everyone else is having problems with.

I agree that you need to decide what works for you. I started with walking only, and ended up gaining weight. I "gave up" a few foods (the doctor said no "whites"--white bread, white rice, tortillas, sugar--all have now been replaced by healthier alternatives--100% wheat bread, brown rice, 100% whole wheat tortillas and when I need something sweet, I use stevia). Then I cut back a little on fat and calories. And I started to lose. Once the first few pounds came off, the excitement began and I started to try harder.

Now I've adopted the whole foods mentality and try to shop on the perimeter of the grocery store (away from all the processed junk). The real thing is so much better and even my kids are enjoying it! (I do wonder how things will stack up once the cooler weather comes in and the kids start asking for my old comfort food casseroles!!)

You need to decide on what will motivate you. You want to weigh similar to your sister. That's a start. You want to be healthy, that's even better. Think of the positive things that will help you on this journey and don't dwell on the negative. Good luck and don't give up hope.

I hate to cook myself, and I'm no good at it...probably because I hate it so much. But few foods I can eat? Nahhhhhhh For one thing, I still eat much of what I always have. I'll have a sandwich, but now with ham, turkey or chicken instead of bologna or salami, and now with whole grain bread instead of white. I'll have meatloaf, cabbage rolls or stuffed peppers using ground turkey instead of ground beef. I use whole wheat pastas now. And for the open a box type of cook that I am, Kraft Super Mac & Cheese and Lipton Alfredo packets are now whole wheat. I switched to brown rice instead of white. I have more fish and poultry now over beef. I have larger portions of veggies and smaller portions of everything else on my plate.

What I do as far as cooking is when I do spend time cooking something, I cook enough to last a few meals or to freeze. That way I'm not cooking again the next day but still have good food available.

As far as finding the energy and mindset, I didn't find them. I'm just now starting to find them. But I've had to motivate myself to get out and exercise and to continue eating right all along. I've had to find ways to push myself to keep going. I've changed my exercise routine many many times. I've bought expensive outfits that were a size too small and hung them where I'd see them daily. I keep my gym bag in the car at all times. I try to incorporate my exercise with something fun. IE: I walk to places I want to go that are within walking distance, I run in the park after taking time to feed the squirrels and play with my son on the swings and just socializing with the other mothers out for their morning strolls. I also incorporate exercise into my daily activities by always parking the farthest from every door, opting to carry the baby in the Snuggli instead of pushing him in the stroller for an added workout.

Sweets are still a downfall for me, so I just don't keep them around. And if I fall, so what. It's not like I'm going to eat cheesecake every day because I had it once. Tomorrow, I'll be back to watermelon for desert, after a good meal of grilled fish, steamed veggies and brown rice. I never thought I'd give up sodas. And many times, in the past, I've tried. But this time I did it gradually instead of all or nothing. The "change one thing" that's been mentioned. So I changed from diet soda to carbonated flavored water. Then from there to uncarbonated flavored water. And lastly to just water. Now it's become a habit. I actually can't stand soda except in occasional minute amounts. And I often crave water. So maybe the sweet tooth will die down eventually too.

So even if you think you'll have to keep this up for life, not necessarily. Much of it can become habit. Like some have said, I'm going to have a goal weight that I just won't allow myself to go over. I'm not going to strictly monitor every day. I know I've been developing good habits all along and they're going to stay with me. But if I see I need to kick myself in gear when approaching that goal weight, I'll do it.