That it wasn't punishment and that I would enjoy losing the weight and feel great for doing it.

I wish I'd known that I didn't have to go it alone. It's okay to spend money on a personal trainer (or a nutritionist or whatever you need) and it's really helpful to participate in a discussion forum like this or go to weight watchers meetings or other support groups.

I also wish I could have known how much easier diet and exercise are once you get into a routine. In the beginning, these changes just seemed so insurmountable. Even six months in, I still could not imagine how I would manage to exercise every day for the rest of my life and I felt exhausted every time I thought about it. Finally, a year and a half into this, I'm starting to see that it might not be as miserable as I thought--it might even be enjoyable.

The common theme in the messages is that people thought they didn't have to actively "maintain" after losing weight. That is surprising to me as I am newly overweight from childbirth and didn't know about people losing huge amounts of weight and then regaining it all back. The key to my having remained in a normal weight range all of my life was not because I have a good metabolism or I'm naturally this way (always been on the curvy side of "normal weight"), but because I've followed some form of "maintainer" plan since I was 13 years old. Over my life I've ranged from a size 6 to a size 12 (til now mind you!), so clearly I've always had to be careful, and when I'm not, I put on weight. I wasn't happy with myself at various sizes, so here and there I've had to actively lose weight (i.e. go on a diet). But I would just tweak my maintainer lifestyle like increasing the exercise for a while or watching what I ate more. So basically I've been pretty much "maintaining" since I was a teenager. It just wasn't an option for me not to constantly count calories in my head, watch what I eat, and purposely get exercise. I just never thought of myself as a "maintainer" because it was just the required way of life for me because I like to eat and I tend to put on weight if I don't exercise or eat too much. So what I have learned is that losing a large amount of weight is A LOT HARDER than maintaining or just needing to lose 10 pounds (stopping the weight increase before things get out of hand). Hey, I look forward to joining the maintainer forum when I finally get this extra weight off!