I sit here and freak out over how I cant lose weight, and the scale wont budge, blah blah blah. and I think its this huge issue for me to lose 20 pounds when there are people here struggling to lose 50 to 100 pounds. There must be so many here who look at me and think to themselves "WTH is her problem"
Well the scale has moved, I lost a pound. So I have officially lost 5 whole pounds even thought it took 2 months. The problem is, I decided that I was going to lose that pound no matter what this week So .I went about it in an unhealthy way. I have to say I have already been down that road before. Im tempted to go down it again. I weighed 98 pounds at one time. Im not in that frame of mind again where I will see fat when there is none, Im not. When I was 98lbs I was still trying to lose more weight - I definetly had a problem. I wont go back, but I tell you, it is soooo tempting to really really let myself go back to old ways. I could drop the weight fast, and I wouldnt even have to exercise too much. (I lost this last pound with only 2 exercise sessions this week)
The point is I dont think this is the place for me anymore. I feel really bad.
There are people here working their butts off to be healthy, and lose weight that they genuinly need to lose. I need to lose too, but mine is a mere 19 pounds now. I have a different problem and it is more like obsession.
Most of my waking minutes are spent obsessing over getting thin again.
We do have the "Featherweights" forum, for people who have less to lose. People in that forum might provide more feedback for you on the topic of not having too terribly much to lose in comparison to some others on the board.
On the unhealthy weight loss habits and obsession, it is your decision whether or not you can safely and healthfully continue on your weight loss journey or whether you need to put that goal aside for the time being to focus on creating a healthier relationship with your body and eating habits. If you haven't, you might want to try looking for a professional counselor who can help you work some things out.
I applaud you for not falling back into your old habits. Take some of that determination to not go back to that place and use it to give some deep thought for how you can get yourself in a better mental place about your body and eating.
I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I don't judge people who have less to lose than me. I figure we all have, at the root, the same problem - being unhappy with the size we are - and have to struggle with the same challenges to try to fix that problem. So I wouldn't worry too much about that.
In my humble opinion, this forum is for anyone who is working to redefine his or her relationship with food and his or her body. The bottom line is, most people who have excess weight have not had a proper relationship with food. With the stresses in your life and with your questions on how to redefine that relationship, it appears you do need to be here.
I agree with midwife... this forum is for anyone who is working on redefining their relationship with food and or their body. I'm glad to hear that you were able to loose a few pounds but just be careful on how you do it. You don't want to do it where it will hurt you in the long run. Your weight will come off. Just hang in there!!
I feel that these boards are for everyone , regardless of how much weight we have to lose. I am at goal and still posting, and many others are too. Everyone has been very supportive of me during this maintenance period and I feel that they know that maintaining weight and having support for it is equally as important as while losing it. You are still totally welcome here. Our relationship with food is skewed for all of us or we wouldn't have needed to come here in the first place. I hope you stick around and please, feel welcome.
I didnt know abouth the featherweights forum, thanks for letting me know about it. I was just starting to feel like I didnt belong here, and not because of anybody here, just because of myself.
I definetly have a body image problem, I always have. I wish I could afford counsling but I cant, I dont have medical insurance.
I think so many of the women here are great, and so supportive, I really wish thats all it took to make you feel better sometimes, it does help though.
I think the reason I am so upset at this moment is I had a goal. I wanted to lose about 10 - 15 pounds by my 30th birthday. Well that day has arrived and it is tommorrow. I have only lost 5 pounds. I know. better than nothing. Its just that dissapointment really sucks. I would have been happy with the 10 pounds - and it was a reasonable goal, at least I thought.
So I have a new goal. August 21st - lose 4-5 pounds
"Fatness is in the mind of the beholder" - by that, I mean whatever amount of weight a person needs to lose, whether it's 20 or 200 lbs., they see their own bodies as unattractive and unlovable. These feelings can be very destructive, so I'm glad to hear that you are no longer striving to be extremely thin. As mandalinn82 mentioned, there is a Featherweights forum where you can exchange notes with others who 'only' have 20 lbs. or so to lose, but everyone here is welcome to post on or visit any forum. Sometimes I get very good insights from the Maintainers forum, although I'm a long way from maintenance myself.
Try to think of attaining optimum health, rather than a number on the scale. If you eat healthy foods and exercise regularly your body will thank you. Also, instead of using the word 'obsession' maybe you could change that expression to 'motivation'. We all need to stay motivated if we want to stay with our new healthy lifestyle.
I know that you have a "bit" of weight that you want to lose, but at 4'10", I am sure that you feel that every extra ounce shows up. You should feel comfortable getting support here! As for your body image, please save up and get the help you need. You have reached 50% of your goal by your birthday - think of it that way. Chin up!
Hi Blueyedblond~ Speaking for myself, I think anyone who isn't happy/struggles with their shape/weight/self esteem belongs here. Maybe try another forum if you prefer, but keep in touch. You aren't alone. Learning healthy eating is hard, but you don't have to do it alone.
Some of the things that I would like to discuss with you, is that there are ladies here who need to lose anywhere from 10 pounds to 300 pounds. There are ladies here of all races, ages, sizes, religions, wealth, and education. We are all here for the same reason.
Also, there are a lot of "maintainers" here as well, who have lost their weight and are no longer fat-but they are also not "naturally thin". What this means, is they are not magically transformed into the mindset and attitude that a naturally thin person has. They may be able to walk through the mall, and everyone see them as a "thin person", but inside, they are still that same fat person struggling. Losing the weight is one part of the battle, but keeping it off is a LIFELONG STRUGGLE. Trust me, I have been in maintanance before. I would have people ask me-"Why are you still counting calories/working out/not eating that cheeseburger...you're THIN now". Exactly. If I went back to my "fat ways" then I would soon be fat AGAIN. Losing the weight also did not suddenly cure me of my binge eating disorder...which is the root of my weight problems. I am not a person who overeats slightly larger portions all of the time...I am a person who eats naturally healthy, exercises...but gets into periods of depression or boredom, or what have you-and goes on "binges" now and then.
I guess what I am saying, is that we are in it for LIFE. It doesn't matter that one person has 100 pounds to lose, and the next person 10 pounds to lose. Once they lose that weight-they both have to learn and use the same tools to KEEP IT OFF. Healthy attitudes, coping methods to deal with temptation, encouraging each other to exercise regularly-applauding one another when one of us went to that party and didn't eat that huge piece of cake-we all need the support and encouragement. Even the maintainers, some who have kept their weight off for years-STILL need this, and STILL have bad days. The "why did I eat THAT?" day still happens for them, too. It is being here, and getting the support that they need-before that one instance turns into 5 pounds gained back...
Please stay.
Aphil
****Also-because you have less to lose...it is VERY natural for you to only lose 1-2 pounds per month-and not see 2 pounds a week like someone who has 80 pounds left to lose. This is NORMAL. Lots of ladies here are in your shoes. I was in this exact same spot before this pregnancy happened. I was at 211, and the first 20 pounds or so came off 1-2 pounds per week...and it became harder and harder and harder. Once I was down about 45 pounds-my losses slowed as well to only 1-2 per month. I was doing everything right, and exercising-and it was a very slow, hard process. I was, at the time, 164 pounds-and I was aiming to get to around 145 when my pregnancy surprised me. It was very, very slow-and frustrating at the time. But, I learned to seek out "other" methods of reward besides just a number on the scale. Even when the scale didn't move-I would lose body fat, see muscles emerge in my body from the exercise, and be able to walk/jog longer or lift heavier weights...measures of progress that didn't rely totally on the scale.
I just want to add on to all this -- yes, you DO belong! And hopefully, if you learn good habits and self-image now, you will never be in the position I was in, where I weighed almost 300 pounds! I would never wish that on ANYONE!!!!
Oh my goodness! Yes, stick around. I've been here for the last 30 lbs and I'm not leaving just because I only have few left to go!
I adore my featherweight friends, my calorie counter friends and ... I don't know what I'd do without the maintainers!
Let us help you if you have trouble finding the threads you need.
Please don't feel stupid or like you don't belong! As many have stated, we're here to develop healthy habits and a good relationship with our bodies.
Think of your weight in terms of percentages instead of getting bogged down by numbers. A one-pound loss for someone who is 5'10" is a lot easier than a one-pound loss for someone is 4'10"!
Don't feel like you have to leave because you're hurting our feelings. If we're having a negative impact on you, then consider some of the other forums, like Featherweights.
You may want to consider other options besides counseling - maybe real, live face-to-face people would help.
OA is free (maybe $1 to $2 dollars for rent), and many of the people there are anorexic and/or bulemic, not particularly overweight.
Also, check your local newspaper. There are often wight control groups that are starting up - or maybe even start your own.
I feel stupid
