Does anyone else's family (or friends) try this line?
I'm 5'4" and of medium-to-large frame. As you can see from the numbers in my tracker, I'm not "too thin" by most folks' standards. I'm actually still rather overweight.
But when I was visiting my family a few weeks ago, I got quite a few comments about not needing to lose any more weight. One of these was from an uncle who has made comments all my life about my being fat, so you can imagine how odd that was.
Why is this? Is it the difference in my appearance since the last time they saw me? (Almost a year ago, and I'm down 40-ish pounds.) Does everyone tend to associate "drastic" weight loss with illness? Or is it simply that I don't fit in anymore with their view of the fat girl, and they don't like change?
I have a big family, and was always one of the larger ones in my generation of it--at times, THE largest. But now that I'm getting a handle on my weight, the majority of the others have gained a bit themselves, and I guess maybe they're either upset about the switch, or their perceptions of normal weight have changed.
I'm not letting their words keep me from my lifestyle changes, because I'm doing this for my own health, not appearance. But still, it was strange, and a little disturbing.
I sometimes wonder if it's a kind of contrast effect. People use your original size as a benchmark abd you look so much smaller than you used to. So you seem thin only in contrast to what you were.
Don't know that this is what's happening, but it could explain part of it...
Yes, I get that all the time now that I am only about 19 pounds from my goal weight. They tell me I'm going to look "sickly" if I get any lower. I'm still trying to understand that. I think they look at me and see that I'm still "top heavy" and the rest of me is much thinner. But since I've never been "too thin", I'm going to find out what that's like!
Familys are funny and the worst judges of our weight!! I am 5'3" and at one time weighed 120ish. My mother and my grandmother made comments about me being anorexic, sickly looking, etc. Funny thing is...these same people also made comments about how I was getting chunky when I went over 130!! I'd love to see those numbers now, LOL
You are your own best judge. If you are happy and healthy then continue to do whats best for you. Sometimes I think with family, jealousy plays into the comments.
Honey they aren't used to seeing you look this way.
You are finished losing when you say you are happy with where you are at. I'm the same height as you, medium-small frame- and I was 110 Lbs. at my happiest weight. I wouldn't want to be much smaller than that, but I felt so dang good! I got both. You look awesome! And, other members of my family were quite insulting. I felt they didn't really want me to look and feel my best- because they were unhappy with themselves. As far as I'm concerned, this is your body and you are responsible for your own health and happiness in the way you look and feel. Be strong and let that mess roll off your back. If they keep it up, tell them you are happy and your weight or lack thereof is not up for discussion- and change the subject.
Wyllen- I think that's definitely the case more often than not.
That said, people have odd reactions. While it was annoying after a while, sometimes even bordering on invasive and inappropriate, I kind of had to take it as someone's special little way of saying "congratulations".
My current problem is this: There are a couple of people who think that since I've lost the weight, I shouldn't be exercising or eating right- I apparently have nothing to try for anymore. So now I can't leave for a run or eat a salad without getting a lecture. Go know.
My current problem is this: There are a couple of people who think that since I've lost the weight, I shouldn't be exercising or eating right- I apparently have nothing to try for anymore. So now I can't leave for a run or eat a salad without getting a lecture. Go know.
This shows how many people feel overweight and "healthy weight" people should behave differently. I had a talk with my husband about a certain double standard concerning this. Though he won't allow anything to interrupt me while exercising, he used to think nothing of plans that made my slender son not be able to take his usual run. We are through all that and my son is thankful that I was able to intervene for him.
Familys are funny and the worst judges of our weight!!
This is very true. It was my SIL who said (behind my back) that I looked "bad" because my face was too thin. Now, she happens to be very heavy. And it made me feel sad she felt this way. Until my husband said to me, "People judge others by what they see every day and every day she sees herself."
"People judge others by what they see every day and every day she sees herself."
Oh, my gosh. That is so true.
When those words came out of my husband's mouth, I was astonished. It's not like him to say something that intelligent, lol.
Just kidding.
But yeah, after he said that I felt much better. Although at the same time I feel bad for my SIL because she's so heavy and she's tried to lose weight and does good for a while (this last time she lost 32 pounds) and then goes right back into her old habits again. So I feel bad for HER because I've been there and I know what it's like. But what my husband said - I needed to hear.
And oops, my quote picked up your original text size
I hear the "too thin" and "you've went over-board" comments from my family all the time. I try to ignore them. They were just used to seeing me very fat. I do reassure them that my doctor is totally aware of my weight and he feels that I am at a healthy weight.
This is very true. It was my SIL who said (behind my back) that I looked "bad" because my face was too thin. Now, she happens to be very heavy. And it made me feel sad she felt this way. Until my husband said to me, "People judge others by what they see every day and every day she sees herself."
Could also be a little jeliousy. You are putting "in her face" what she maybe feels she should be doing too. A visual reminder. She says you look bad maybe to make herself feel better, when maybe she's just wanting to be where you are too. i dunno. i agree family are the worst critics.
Another thing it could be is the way you are dressing. I know how to dress my body so no one really knows how much I weigh. I often have people guess I am about 5-10 lbs lighter.
I really hate when people decide to comment on a persons needing to lose weight. It is such a personal thing. I mean compliments are fine, and even interventions if it is for health reasons but don't tell ME when I need to lose weight. You don't here me telling you rofl.
"You're too thin/thin enough!"
