Okay, I have a little problem. I babysit my nephews every weekend at my sister's place and her house is overflowing with pure (but delicious) junk I just can't resist. And I made an inventory the last time I was there. This is what she had in her house and every week it's usually similar:
*Leftover pizza or Mcdonald's
*Cracker Jacks
*Chex Mix
*Sour Cream and Cheddar ruffles
*Mint oreos
*Peanut M&M's
*Reese Pieces
*Peanut butter fudge ice cream
*Tator tots
*Honey bunches of oats (old favorite binge food)
*Fudge pop tarts
*butterscotch pudding
*Cheddar cheese
*Mint milanos
*Doritos
*Cheese pringles
*Tortilla chips & salsa
*Sour gummy worms
*Chocolate donuts
*Tub of cookie dough
I overeat all night, and when the kids go to sleep, I binge on the stuff. I have not figured out how to avoid the temptation. I just can't eat a little of something. This is what hasn't worked: Chewing gum, cups of tea, bringing over a healthy meal, reading, watching a movie, and drinking tons of water. I can't watch them at my place, and I need the extra money because I'm unemployed right now and I buy my groceries from the money I make babysitting.
I just can't resist. And I might eat one cookie or a few chips, and be okay, but then later I always go crazy. Does anyone have ANY advice about something else I could do?
If anyone is wondering, her 3 children are all overweight (one of them obese) and she weighs over 300 pounds herself. It's extremely disheartening for me to see, especially since I have changed my lifestyle
Sounds like my grocery list, LOL This is a tough call. You risk starting a family war if you say anything, but, at the same time someone has too if the kids are obese. Now is the time to change her way of thinking. Maybe have her watch "Honey We're Killing the Kids". Terrible show BTW but it may get her motivated enough to be concerned with her kids health.
I am no health nut by any means. We have the same types of snacks available here alot. But, we do limit access to this type of food and none of our children are overweight.
Wow. That's just .... wow. Do you have a friend you could call, who you could talk to for most of the evening and would deter you from the snacks? Can you hang out online, here at 3FC all evening? Maybe that would be an evening where you could write a success story or something.
Would it be entirely insane to ask your sister to box the junk up and put it away for the evening so it's not there?
Make sure you eat enough decent stuff before you go over there, and then I wouldn't even allow myself one single morsel at this point. Maybe someday there will come a time when one or two cookies would be feasible, but not for me, not right now. I'd have to abstain completely.
We do know you CAN abstain if you need to. Alcoholics do it all the time. Others on 3FC do it all the time, too. It's just a matter of having the right tool.
It's tough, but life is temptation. It's always going to be something, the coworker (like mine in the office next door) who has three huge bowls of chocolate (I mean BIG *** BOWLS) on her desk, huge birthday cakes with sugary frosting at least once a month for coworker's birthdays. Heck, on Thursday, my team is having an ice cream social and everyone is expected to be there. Not to mention - barbeques, potlucks, anniversary dinners at fancy restaurants, work meetings with finger foods and on and on.
I hate to say it, but this is a test of your real world will power on how to be surrounded by stuff you love and you just can't eat as much of it as you would like (I live this every day).
Look at that list. Print it out. Put every item on a "I don't eat this right now" rule and stick to it. When I was losing weight, I just didn't eat cake. I didn't eat pie. I didn't eat chips. If faced with the temptation, it was easy - I don't eat that.
Bring your book, your favorite DVD, tea and favorite snacks that you really really like (that are NOT carby, personally, sweet/salty carbs - even healthy ones - make me get bingy). Apples and peanut butter, hummus and veggies, nuts - satisfying snacks.
Ouch - that's gotta be tough. I agree with Glory in that this is really a test for you. I kinda have the same thing - I babysit a few times a week, and the family I work for is pretty healthy, but there's usually ice cream in the freezer and cookies around. The kid doesn't get to eat any of it, so luckily I don't sit there watching her eat it, but it's always calling me once she goes down for her nap. I used to go for it, and eat way to much of whatever was around, until it just struck me one day that I will never be the weight I want to be if i keep eating that type of food, and that enjoying junk food for a few minutes just isn't worth it (and if anyone is wondering, the family doesn't mind if I eat it while I'm there - they always offer me whatever they have around).
I guess what I'm saying is that it's something you have to face sooner or later, since you're going to experience it in other situations. Distract yourself, eat healthy food, tape an inspiration picture to the cupboard while you're there, or make little goals for yourself (ie - I'll only eat one pudding tonight, or even that you'll only eat one type of treat - you're more likely to binge if there are a lot of flavors, whereas if you stick to one thing, like Doritos, you'll probably consume less overall). Go with baby steps, and it'll be hard, but you'll get there.
Well I hate to say it but I honestly think you have to stop the "I just can't resist" thinking and make a flat out decision that you are NOT going to eat that junk! In the real world there are always going to be places... MOST places in fact I think... where there is tons of junk around... although LOL probably not THAT much junk!!! But no one else can do this for us; we just have to absolutely NOT eat it. You CAN do it!!
Can you start taking round a big fruit basket? Kinda as a gift, but also for you to eat? Does the your sister ask if there's any snacks you'd like (specifically) I know some people like to "treat" their baby sitters.
Maybe if you start taking them healthy food, they might get the hint!
Also - this is your sister, can you not talk openly about your health and how these things trouble you? Make it sound like they are bad for YOU, how YOU don't like the stuff and you don't think it's healthy for YOU to be eating. Perhaps she might get the hint and take note...
Of all the junk on your list the only thing we had in our own pantry was tortilla chips & salsa. I absolutely could not stand it if the rest of this stuff were in my own pantry. Not just because it would stare me in the face every time I opened the pantry to get ingredients for a family meal, but because I wouldn't want this much junk available and handy for my family.
But I do put up with this at work. Junk and opportunities for sharing junk abound at my school. Coworkers bring pies, cakes, cookies etc to share and put it right on the table in the teacher's lounge. I pass it by nearly every day. And on days when I do eat in the lounge it sits right there staring at me. The frig and freezer are not much different. People's desks? PLEASE! It's like they have stock in some candy company! Don't even get me started on meetings that we are required to attend. Or faculty breakfasts and lunches.
My only defense and what I recommend for you is to be prepared. If I didn't show up at work with a morning snack (yogurt or apple etc), yummy healthy lunch, and then an afternoon snack I can eat to stave off any temptation.. knowing the cake or whatever is in the lounge... let's just say I am not that strong to overlook the cake when I am stressed and/or hungry at the end of the day.
As far as your sister and her family. The only thing you can do is be a positive influence without holding a banner. That doesn't men you shouldn't try to find the right time and right words to talk to her.
Bottom line though.. if the environment tempts you too much and compromises your own effort and health I would stop babysitting there and I would calmly tell her why. Nothing like a little tough love and reality to impact some of us.
I agree wholeheartedly with Misti in Seattle. It is all in the "mind set" that you have. You just have to get in in your head that you aren't going to touch the stuff -- I don't think there is anything anyone can tell you to do that will get that mind set, you just have to think of the stuff as poison and something that you do not eat anymore. Good Luck to you!
I don't have to face it like you do, but when I'm at the checkout like, for instance, and the Score bar calls to me, I just say, "I don't eat that now"
I get resentful sometimes that other people get to eat it. I deal with that a couple of ways.
1) try to feel superior that I am trying to be healthy. Maybe it's not nice, but I need some kind of leverage.
2) I liken it to money. I can't afford everything I want to by. Some things are not affordable. Candy bars are like that now. Just not affordable. Maybe if I save up...
Tough situation. Good luck. Remember, if you make it one hour, tell yourself you can do a second hour, etc (though maybe you have to start at less than an hour). Then, once you've made it an evening, just tell yourself you can do another. I agree this is a mental game. A mental battle. Prepare your arsenal!
Wyellen beat me to the punch! I love the idea of taking it one hour at a time. When you arrive, do not touch the stuff for one hour. Post on here. Then another hour. Post on here. Then so on for each hour you are there. Anyone can do anything for one hour and if you are accountable on here you will be less likely to give in.
My 'diet' thus far has not been the "throw out all junk foods and never have them in the house" kind of thing. I have a DH and 2 children who are not overweight and they like to have treats around. So...they are always around. I guess that would give me a foot up in that situation. Since I am around it ALL the time, I am just used to not eating it. Like Wylen, I purely look at is as a caloric budget. Junk food is just too expensive and will leave me hungrier during the day. I do have a little something sometimes because I plan to live like this for the rest of my life, but I don't let it take me on a binge anymore. I get a sick feeling when I think about how I used to bing on a plate filled with chips and chocolate...and maybe some cookies...and soda. NASTY! Now, if I have a treat, it is a portion size....ONE portion size. So...I guess I said all this to say, if you want to, allow yourself ONE portion size of a treat. It is a great feeling when you realize that YES...you really CAN control what goes into your mouth!!! Your hand, your mouth!!! It blew me away when I realized this.
Maybe bring a good book to read when the kids are asleep! Bored time = binge temptation.
It's a little different at someone else's house but here at home I find better alternatives (not necessarily healthy but something a little less guilty) for everything that is sinful here. If they have icecream, I have 40cal fudgecicles. If they have candy, I have creamsavers (chocolate and carmel flavor hard candies). I have 100 cal packs (not every week). Pretty much if I treat them to something, I pick up a treat for me too. Should I not treat my kids? Hmm....that's up for debate. They are skinny and these are treats. Also, my 3 year old is potty training. For a while I was treating him to a peice of candy every time he goes (we've stopped after it stopped being an incentive). I had to look around for low cal and mostly low sugar candies (if he is to eat more than one a day). I came up with smarties. Also.....try deshelling sunflower seeds. They take FOREVER!
Make up your own sinful snacks ahead of time. Feed them to the kiddies too. Leave the recipe. I'm not sure talking to the adults in that family about it is necessarily wise. People like to be territorial about their kids and they get defensive about being fat. Showing her that YOU can do it and giving very tasty healthy treats is a good way to start. Since you hurt for money, I know this can't be done all the time but start thinking of ways you can get around this "gotta have it" binge periods. P.S. Tea wouldn't work for me either. I also love Russel Stover's Toffee (covered with chocolate like heath bars). The trick to any of these is MODERATION. Binging on ANYTHING will lead to trouble. Gotta nip that monster in the butt.
I like the accountability thread. I do something similar. I will put something on my plate. Eat half. Put the other half in the microwave. If after 1 hour I still think about it or want it, I go ahead and eat it. This is a portion control excercise. IF you absolutely have to eat something..do the same thing. Measure out 1 serving (write the info on a paper..if ou have to journal it..it's harder to be in denial). Walk away. Eat it. Savor it. But do not get anything else for at least 1 hour. This is last resort. The best is avoiding it. Life isn't always that good to us though.
One last thing: If you can't avoid these things..how do you expect to show your sister that she and the kids can? Can't be calling the kettle black. This is one danger area of confronting others about fatness. Go easy, be kind, but do what is necesary to love yourself.
I think I'd have a hard time avoiding those foods too - they would be calling my name all evening. Maybe you could have a protein shake before you go - they kill my appetite for several hours. A little trick I've used in the past was to put a rubber band around my wrist and give it a zap every time I found myself standing in front of the fridge or pantry - a little bit of aversion therapy! Good luck, and here's some willpower dust
It's a great idea to say, "I don't eat that" but I can't, because I still enjoy everything in moderation. But the hard part is, I can't control the moderation while I'm at her place, because she has whole boxes and bags of the stuff. But maybe I should make a temporary "I don't eat that" rule until I get to my goal weight.
I think it's best to change my thinking. I want a treat, but I KNOW that it's not the place I can have one. I just have to abstain completely. It's so hard, but that's probably the only way.
And, I have talked a bit to my sister about having the kids eat healthier, and she has been feeding them more veggies and giving them healthier snacks, but she still hasn't phased out the junk, which is actually for her and her husband. But it's so hard to approach the subject of weight with her, because I'm so afraid of hurting her feelings. She's cried before because of our mom's comments on it, and I can't help to remember how sensitive I was about my weight, so it's a difficult situation.
Temptation overload
but I honestly think you have to stop the "I just can't resist" thinking and make a flat out decision that you are NOT going to eat that junk! In the real world there are always going to be places... MOST places in fact I think... where there is tons of junk around... although LOL probably not THAT much junk!!! But no one else can do this for us; we just have to absolutely NOT eat it. You CAN do it!!
You are all so wise 
