You're right, it would be a good thing to sit down and reflect on what I did and how can I make progress from what I learned. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if there were a pattern involved in this.
Welcome back and know that you aren't a failure. I lost 90 lbs. before and put 87 of it back on by going back to my old habits. It took me years to jump back in and take it off again. We all need to be able to go easier on ourselves and not feel like a failure if this happens. Heck, I just reached goal and I am very afraid that I could do the same thing again. I am glad to have you back and know that this has happened to many of us. These boards are so wonderful and I know you will find the help that you need.
I know what you're feeilng. I have lost and gained 20-35 pounds in my adult life - AT LEAST FIVE TIMES.
I have lost the weight doing different things - once on a hi-protein/low carb diet, once by just exercising and eating more fruits & veggies, once by doing a metabolic diet (kinda like South Beach) etc, etc.
Each time I gained the weight back, I normally put on more than I took off. My highest weight was 178. That was in January 2001. My lowest was 126. That was in May 1993.
This last time has been upsetting to me because I was doing so well... making healthy food choices, allowing myself treats, exercising, all good & fine. I was 138 when I reinjured my shoulder last September. Not being able to exercise was detrimental to my weight loss efforts. I started eating "crap" again, and eating too much of even the healthy foods. So, no surprise that I gained 25 pounds in 4 months.
My 'current' problem is that I can't seem to get back on track. I'll eat healthy & good for a few days, then blow it. I'll exercise a couple days one week & three days the next week, then nothing for a week. What really angers me is that I know I can do this,but for some reason, this time, I'm just not very motivated. I want to be, but I'm not. I can't figure out exactly why. I think it may be more than one thing, including some meds I am taking right now. BUT STILL...
So you see... YES, I feel your pain. Just know that we all relate & are all here for each other!
I know what you're feeilng. I have lost and gained 20-35 pounds in my adult life - AT LEAST FIVE TIMES.
I have lost the weight doing different things - once on a hi-protein/low carb diet, once by just exercising and eating more fruits & veggies, once by doing a metabolic diet (kinda like South Beach) etc, etc.
Each time I gained the weight back, I normally put on more than I took off. My highest weight was 178. That was in January 2001. My lowest was 126. That was in May 1993.
This last time has been upsetting to me because I was doing so well... making healthy food choices, allowing myself treats, exercising, all good & fine. I was 138 when I reinjured my shoulder last September. Not being able to exercise was detrimental to my weight loss efforts. I started eating "crap" again, and eating too much of even the healthy foods. So, no surprise that I gained 25 pounds in 4 months.
My 'current' problem is that I can't seem to get back on track. I'll eat healthy & good for a few days, then blow it. I'll exercise a couple days one week & three days the next week, then nothing for a week. What really angers me is that I know I can do this,but for some reason, this time, I'm just not very motivated. I want to be, but I'm not. I can't figure out exactly why. I think it may be more than one thing, including some meds I am taking right now. BUT STILL...
So you see... YES, I feel your pain. Just know that we all relate & are all here for each other!
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with me. I'm sorry that you are struggling like me, but I feel better knowing I'm not alone.
Aqua, you have not failed! I completely agree with Sunni and Wyllenn - you have gained a lot of knowledge about yourself through your slip and you are coming back stronger and with more tools to face your problem. You are here and that's what counts. There is no point in crying over what was in the past. Concentrate on today! And today you are working on yourself and getting healthier. Congratulations!
See if you can find the book "The Thin Commandments Diet The 10 No-Fail Strategies For Permanent Weight Loss." By Stephen Gullo, Ph.D.
We talked about it on the SBD forum awhile back. I found it quite helpful in figuring out my self-destructive habits and why I do what I do.
The fact that you had the b@lls to come back & post your ups & downs makes you look pretty admirable in my eyes. You've got a grip on things again now and were not afraid to confess that you had a little "slip"... I really admire that you did that.
Sometimes I wonder...ok, I have lost about 25 lbs....what if I slip up and gain it back in 6 months? Will I still have the guts to come back on here and post anything? I don't know if I would. (I'm such a chicken about things like that.)
I went to weight watchers about 25 years ago, after my 2nd kid...and I lost 69 lbs. And I was within about 6 lbs. of my goal weight...(which was some ridiculously unhumanly possible low number-- like 126? -- in my right thigh now, maybe) and then one week I went & got weighed and I had gained 2 lbs. I was so upset with myself that I never went back. I have regretted that for 25 yrs.
So, yep...you are like some kinda HERO in my eyes!!~!
I liked that remark, too..."you have learned what didn't work". I venture to say that ALL of us here have had our ups and downs. The fact that you came back to post here makes you a winner.
I worked my butt off for a long time to lose 60 pounds and gained it all back and more. Started doing that " ahh I don't NEED to do that today" stuff.
slips happen little by little until they become bad habits once more. Will I ever learn! haha
So, it sucks that you gained back your 30 but you have to look on the bright side.. start now and that number won't be more than 30. You did it once, so it can be done again! Once you get to where you were before, make sure you stick with us and we'll all get thru this!!
I'm not going to say much because all these ladies have pretty much said it all. So I'm just going to say, you can do it! and we were here for you every step of the way!
So I'm just going to say, you can do it! 
and we were here for you every step of the way! 
