I am very worried about my SIL's and their weight. I never said anything cause of my weight and more importantly, my smoking, but now I have lost the smoking habit along with 19 lb's and I am worried about them.

Would ANYTHING, ANYBODY had said started you earlier on your weight loss journey??

How can you tell them that they need to get healthy without coming across as nosey and butting in to their business?

I got a rough wake up call from a relative. And then he died and I lost weight. There's no polite way to say a person needs to lose weight.

Oh- unless you're their doctor.

It's such a sensitive, difficult subject to bring up to anyone. I cringed at anyone even mentioning weight/weight loss/diet/etc around me even though it wasn't even directed AT me. I immediately became super self-conscious and embarrassed when a diet commercial would come on or a news story dealing with weight. I was THAT sensitive about it. Thankfully, no one ever said anything to me about it because they know how hyper-sensitive I am; I eventually made the decision myself. So I don't know if anyone could have spurred me into weight loss. I do believe it's a decision most come to by themselves.

I know when you do confront her, it needs to be with the utmost sensitivity and compassion. I wouldn't recommend telling her blunty "you need to lose some weight." Maybe you can tell her how much better you feel about your lifestyle changes, and if she would consider to make changes as well, you'll be willing to help, encourage, and support her in any way you can.

Much luck!!!

No one could have made me start but subtle encouragement and environmental changes certainly can make the difference.

I would suggest that you SHOW your sister in law just by eating with her and exercising with her and laughing with her. The exercise doesn't have to be an overt workout .. a walk, a bike ride, a little gardening, ..

I think loved ones can support each other when they do healthy and fun things together including cooking and even daily chores.

BTW congratulations on kicking the smoking habit!!

No. I think if anyone had said anything it would have made me less likely to start. I'm onery that way. In fact, a very few people did mention my increasing weight and it just shocked and hurt me. I think leading by example is all you can safely do. Congrats on the smoking!

No, nobody could have told me anything I didn't already know. Knowing I should do it was just not enough...

Nope, others tried and it never worked.

Early on, I tried to get my husband to join me in weight loss efforts. That never worked either. He was adamant.

Later he started "wanting" to lose weight, but really had no motivation to do anything about it.

Finally, when I started this time, I told him this was about me, not him and that I wasn't trying to convert him. I guess I convinced him with my success (and with the yummy healthier food we were eating). But even then, when he first said he wanted to lose weight, I told him not to do it just because I was... he should only do it if HE wanted to.

Finally, in November, he did start... and he's lost 50 pounds since then!!

I think that anyone that is overweight already KNOWS they are overweight and have a problem.

My mother used to always tell me that I needed to lose weight and get healthy, but to me the way she came on to me about the situation only made me angry and more depressed! which eventually made me want to not lose weight and get health at all....and unfortunately I gained more weight! I believe a person has to see the light and advantages of being healthy on their own...no one can want it more than yourself. Not saying that you shouldn't help nor support that person. I think that you could bring your concerns to their attention, but not in a nagging and annoying manner...Just my thoughts...

I don't think you can coerce anyone into getting started -- it's hard to do and they have to really want to. However, a LOT of people do and just feel they can't -- and sometimes if they see you doing it, they will have the courage to get started themselves. THEN you can be a super encouragement. Also, if that person lives in your household, providing healthier meals and snacks is certainly a place to start.

My niece and I planned this cruise 9 months ago and our whole thought was wow that week we are going to pig out and not worry about it. But we both got motivated to lose weight and now we share about our baggy clothes, etc... and NOW we are saying we are going to try VERY hard not to blow it on the cruise and there will still be plenty of great things to eat that won't fatten us up, etc. We hope to be a positive influence on each other.

I am amazed at how many people are telling me hey the fun of a cruise is eating all the food and just not worry about it for that week. But a lot of these same people would criticize fat people too LOL. I am supposed to be both... pig out but not be fat.

I am off track LOL... but my point is no, fat people know they are fat and most of them WANT to lose the weight; they just haven't faced what needs to be done to do it and feel they can't. Telling them they are fat will just discourage them. But setting an example and hope they follow it can help. Sometimes people will come up and ask you how you are doing it, even. There's your opening to jump in and help encourage!

I would say if they ask you questions about how you've done it, share with them and encourage them. Otherwise, don't. They already know they need to get healthy, we all do. They just haven't found the motivation and strength inside themselves to start. You can't give it to them. I'm afraid you would alienate and possibly anger them. If a sister-in-law had confronted me about how I needed to lose weight, I would not have appreciated it and would have probably been a little angry.

Hehehe... you know... I've always said... there's nothing worse than a reformed smoker. Or a reformed fat person. They're the ones that will give you the most crap. It's not the people who have never smoked who get on smokers about their habits, it's the ones who USED to smoke and no longer do.

Nothing worse. Absolutely.

I just had to throw that in there because it's an inside thing, something co-workers and I have discussed and everyone agrees. It's funny, because we had someone we worked with that would go outside and smoke with us. But she quit. Then she suddenly started getting on US for it and we wanted to smack her. We were like, "You quit, that's great, good for you, now shut the **** up."

Could someone have said something back then to get me to move my butt and lose the weight? No. It's something you have to WANT to do. And I'll tell ya right now, sweetie, unless you wanna cause major tension between you and your SIL's, don't turn into a preacher.

LOL I would say this is very wise advice!!!

Thats a tough one! I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
The only thing that I could suggest is that you talk about your weight loss to them and how much better its making you feel, then let them come to you.
I know that I didn't take help, suppert or any comments well before. I knew that I had a problem but I didn't want to hear it from someone else. I now know how silly that was but not then.
Good luck and be careful. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
Congrats also on the stop smoking!!! I wish I had that courage right now!!!!