Ever since I've lost this weight, my husband has become reeeeal clingy. To the point where it's getting on my nerves. At first I assumed it was because he was more attracted to me than he was before, but then I thought about it - even when I was heavy, he told me I was beautiful and it never stopped him from wanting to be with me.
But lately he's been complimenting me more and fishing for compliments of his own. If he tells me he loves me and I just smile or say "I know" or something like that, he'll pout and say, "Don't you love me too?"
When I leave the house just to make a 15 minute trip somewhere, he starts his whining saying, "You're leaving me?" And I'm like, "For crying out loud, I'll be right back!"
He's like a little kid these days, I swear. Coming up and hugging me constantly, telling me how beautiful I am, and wanting sex 24/7.
Okay, now, before you all scream at me and say, "Wake up, girl! Most women would give their souls to have a guy like that!", I'm fishing for other girls here that can relate to what I'm saying. I'm NOT saying I don't love the attention. But there's a such thing as TOO much, it *can* be overdone.
Then the other day he practically went silent on me, giving me the evil eye and all this other stuff. And I asked him what was wrong. He pouted again, saying he'd tell me later. I said, "No, tell me now." He finally spilled it. See, every once in a great while I'll go out with my longtime friend, Kathy. We've known each other since we were 18 years old. Sometimes my husband goes with us, sometimes not. Well he tells me that the last time we all went out how beautiful I looked and noticed guys staring at me. I was like, "So?"
He says he's worried that one of the nights I go out without him I'm going to pick up some guy or something. I was calm and understanding and tried to reassure him that I love him and I have no desire to go out and jump in the sack with somebody else. But he's still worried about that. Because he knows I'm more attractive to men now, even though I don't see it. I said, "Good grief, nobody pays any attention to me and I seriously doubt anyone would want me. And even if they did, what makes you think I'm going to want them?"
Can anyone else relate to this? Is anyone else going through the same thing? How in the world do I convince that man that he doesn't need to sit at home chewing his nails anytime I go out with my friend?
I can definitely relate! It's definitely not as bad as it used to be, I have spent a lot of time reassuring my bf that I'm NOT going to leave him at any point. The hardest thing for me was realizing that my bf is just as insecure as me at times, and so I've really just approached it like how I'd want him to treat me. Everyonce in a while I'll just go up to him, hug him and tell him how he's the best man in the world for me. Goodluck!!
I've seen this kind of post come up from time to time... looks like lots of folks have encountered this as they lose weight. Thinking about it I wonder... it's not that we are changing how we feel for our sig other, but we are changing a little, and I think it's scary for them. Even me, after just these few pounds... I'm doing my hair again, thinking about nicer clothes... heck, I may even go back to wearing makeup again soon. We're really changing because we are enjoying ourselves again, enjoying being female after who knows how long of being relegated to a sexless nobody... but not changing how we feel about the ones we love. I think it's just hard for the sig other to tell the difference. Something about you is changing and they aren't and... maybe you'll change too much and not want to be with them anymore...
All I can recommend is, besides explaining this, and telling him you love him over and over.... give him time, show him more affection or do silly romantic things to reassure him. Let him know that, though you might be a little sexier, you're still falling for him over and over every day.
Thanks, girls, for the comments, they're much appreciated.
He's driving me up the wall, though. I can't walk by him when he's on the couch without him pulling me down and wanting hugs and kisses and all that. Again, there can be too much of a good thing. And he makes stupid comments all the time. Like just a while ago I was heading out to the garage to get something out of our garage freezer/refrigerator. He stops me at the door and asks me where I was going. I said, "I'm going out here to get a sub bun." And he goes, "You can have MY buns if you want 'em."
NO! I DON'T WANT YOUR BUNS RIGHT NOW! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!
Or every time I walk past him, I can be guaranteed he's gonna grab me and hug me. In bed at night he's trying to feel on me and get me 'in the mood' and I'm sorry, but sometimes I just want to be left alone.
It's getting to the point where I literally avoid walking by him in my own damn house.
Have you talked with him about how all of these behaviors are making you feel? It doesn't have to be confrontational- try to pick a moment when there's no distractions and be as sincere as possible.
With your new look, it's bringing forth his insecurities and this is how they are manifesting. You could let him know that you are appreciative of his attention, but that it's getting to be too much.
Have you talked with him about how all of these behaviors are making you feel? It doesn't have to be confrontational- try to pick a moment when there's no distractions and be as sincere as possible.
With your new look, it's bringing forth his insecurities and this is how they are manifesting. You could let him know that you are appreciative of his attention, but that it's getting to be too much.
Good luck!
It's definitely getting to be too much.
I hate to sound so insensitive about this, but in his attempt to prove to me that I've got someone at home that loves me (and I know that's what he's trying to do so I don't 'wander' elsewhere) he's driving me up the wall. I mean, there's a fine line here between loving and overbearing. Sometimes I just want to look at him and say, "will you just leave me alone, you're getting on my nerves!" But I can't because I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Oh god Linda, I am so sorry. I may just be bad at being female, but I think that's the most annoying thing in the entire world. You do not need to explain yourself to him-- especially if you're just going out to the friggin' garage!!-- and I would be incredibly offended that he isn't trusting you to not hop into bed with the first man you see. You really need to talk to him about this, or he'll get more paranoid (thus more irritating) and you'll resent him more and more.
Oh god Linda, I am so sorry. I may just be bad at being female, but I think that's the most annoying thing in the entire world. You do not need to explain yourself to him-- especially if you're just going out to the friggin' garage!!-- and I would be incredibly offended that he isn't trusting you to not hop into bed with the first man you see.
I was. Offended, I mean. I mean what the **** does he think I am, some barfly that's gonna run to my car with the first young guy that gives me the eye?
Okay, I kind of understand his insecurity. I mean, most guys are insecure. But if he really doesn't trust me, there's not much I can do about that. I've tried to rationally explain to him that I have no desire to go out and pick up some other guy to mess around with, but he's still paranoid about that. And all this attention he's giving me is making me want to yank my hair out
I can certainly relate to this. Since losing quite a bit of weight, every time I leave the house with husband, he says " that guy was flirting with you". I just smile and say, "now you know how I have always felt". He is a very nice looking man and I have seen him flirted with many times before, especially the girls would flirt with him even while I was standing there. I used to be real insecure about this, but not any more. I just reassure him that I love him and don't desire to ever be with anyone else. As for the constant sexual remarks, grabbing and pawing at me, it was cute for a while, but this gets old too. Our love life is more energetic now, but I , would like to just get some sleep sometimes. I think he trusts me about as much as I trust him and this is a good thing.
It sounds to me like it's time for your husband to do a little work on himself! Maybe weight isn't an issue for him, but it sounds like he needs to invest some more in himself, to feel more secure.
I can certainly relate to this. Since losing quite a bit of weight, every time I leave the house with husband, he says " that guy was flirting with you". I just smile and say, "now you know how I have always felt". He is a very nice looking man and I have seen him flirted with many times before, especially the girls would flirt with him even while I was standing there.
Oh boy, can I relate to this.
When I met my husband, he was the new guitarist for a band that belonged to a friend of mine. Speed metal, the long-haired guys. I've always been crazy about guys with long hair. And there he was... long, dark hair and 6'2. He was the typical tall, dark and handsome. I fell instantly in love. And with him being in a band, I knew what the girls were like. But I didn't let it bother me because I knew he wanted ME. He pretty much fell in love with me at first sight as well.
I have never been one to say "I love you" every 5 mins and I have been married to my hubby for 13 years....Now he says it all the time All I can say is "love you too"
I have a little different problem..Tring to get him to talk to me...but I know where you are comeing from. I had the same problem with mine before I lost the weight....lol
I have never been one to say "I love you" every 5 mins and I have been married to my hubby for 13 years....Now he says it all the time All I can say is "love you too"
Yeah, I've never been an overly affectionate person. Never was the romantic type getting into the "I love you's" and the flowers and hi honey, I'm glad you're home! *kiss kiss kiss* type of stuff. In fact, admittedly, I'm not romantic enough. Sometimes men just want a hug for no reason except to just do it and I don't do that enough. I could definitely pay more attention to him. But I'm just not a touchy-feely type of person. I can't even stand to sleep with anyone cuddling me, it drives me up the wall. When I sleep, I want my own space.
Clingy Hubby's
