My name is Tiffany and I started this weightloss journey the end of December. I have lost 25 lbs thus far. The problem that I am having is that I can't take all the compliments. Especially when they are from people who I have not seen in awhile. When they go on and on about how good I look I start feeling sad for the 25 lbs heavier Tiffany. It's sort of like I was clueless as to how bad I must have looked in other peoples eyes. I started on this weight loss journey because I wanted to be healthy. It did not have mch to do with my outward look. At least that what I feel. I have always had the I'm big and I am still beautiful, but now I think it may have been just a protective shield. I also like to shop, but I hate the plus sized choices in clothes here. This is really unexpected for me. I always thought I would eat up the compliments. Especially with all the hard work I am doing to lose the weight. I would love any insight you all have to offer.
You keep going girl..At the rate you are going you will not be shopping in the plus section but instead getting a new cute suit to wear to the beach!!!! Aloha!!
Don't feel bad; there was nothing wrong with the old you. Your outside self looks a little different now, and people have to get used to it. Your good friends will still know you are the same sweet person on the inside that you've always been
Sometimes it seems like it's hard to accept compliments because your head hasn't caught up with the rest of you yet! You still probably feel very much the same on the inside, and so when people go on and on about how great you look now, you feel like they're inadvertently insulting the heavier you, which is still the same you on the inside. People probably don't realize they're making you feel uncomfortable, and they're probably very well-intentioned.
Advice: Keep trucking along. Your head will catch up eventually. It's great that you've got enough confidence to feel beautiful no matter what size you are... Most people aren't like that. Try to accept the compliments and realize that people are really only doing what comes naturally to them...
Congrats on the 25 pounds lost! You're doing great!
I know how you must feel, I was really defensive at first and sometimes I still am, just go with the flow, the complements are your reward, it doesn't mean they thought you looked horrid, it just means they think you look even better!!
think about the shots of actresses youve seen without makeup or undone hair, they are beautiful people, they didn't look bad without it but just that little extra "pop" makes them devastating
I certianly don't think it's that you ever looked bad to these people, but it's very exciting when someone you care about improves themselves-- you would be happy for a friend if they graduated college, got a job they really wanted, got a cute hairstyle, etc., and this victory is no different. I have plenty of overweight people in my life whom I feel are beautiful, and would be beautiful if they gained or lost weight, but I'd be very happy if they lost because it would mean their quality of life would continue to improve.
And great job on the 25 pound loss; that's incredible!
First off, congratulations on your loss! That's really great!
Second, I feel you about not being able to take compliments. I've been getting them more and more lately..."you're looking good!" and things of that nature...and I just shrug my shoulders or tell them "whatever". It's horrible, I know! I think it goes back to my low self esteem, and thinking that I'm just this fat, ugly blob...
I hope you are able to learn to take the compliments...lord knows I'm trying! And again, awesome loss so far!
I have gotten many comments/compliments yet, and I'm kind of scared of when that day comes, even though I'm also looking forward to it. I can imagine that it would be hard to deal with... but I think the others have given you some great advice.
You're doing great! You have a lot to be proud of! Just make sure you stick to your program and I bet you'll soon feel more comfortable with the compliments.
Don't be like me. I have a similar, but somewhat more baffling problem.
As many of us have, I've been down this road a few times before. Compliments are what have traditionally derailed me! Every time, the first compliments come in at about the 20-25 pound range, when you can start seeing it. Someone will say to me, "Hey, you're losing weight, you look great!"
It didn't make me worried. It didn't make me wonder how bad they thought I *used* to look. It said to me, "Hey! You're done! Diet's over, goal reached!"
Of course, the goal hadn't been reached. Heck, it wasn't even in sight yet! But inevitably, off I'd go, feeling quite smug and proud as a peacock, having a cookie or two here and a Happy Meal there. Before you know it, it was back to the full stack at IHOP and keep 'em coming! Whoops!
Flash forward to this most current attempt. At 18 pounds gone, I'm now approaching the "Danger -- Derailing Compliment Ahead" zone. I think I'm ready for it this time, though.
I must say thank you to each and every one of you who offered a word of encouragement. This is a really hard journey for all of us, but this website has been a blessing to me. Thanks again!
When they go on and on about how good I look I start feeling sad for the 25 lbs heavier Tiffany.
I love that quote, it just sums it up for me. I feel the same when people compliment me in certain ways. "you're looking well" etc, doesn't worry me, but "you look so much better" or comments like that get me to thinking, how bad must I have looked 64lbs ago.
I think there is an element of grieving for our formerly fat selves that goes on. I kinda miss the old me in a way. I was satisfied with myself, hence my inertia for 10 years at my highest weight. I was comfortable in my size 26 clothes.
It's only now I have got fitter and healthier and changed my lifestyle that I realise how well I feel now, and kinda sad it took me so long to do something about my weight.
Losing weight involves so many complicated head games, it's exhausting!
I know how you feel. When I started losing weight friends of mine made comments about how my chest had gotten smaller (I'm very top heavy!) and some people were so amazed and complimentary that I started to feel like I must have looked like a freak before or something!
When I lost the first 15 pounds or so I didn't really notice it THAT much in my body (cause I have to look at myself everyday, duh) until I saw pictures or would suddenly catch myself in a mirror and be like WOAH who is that?! I agree with the aforementioned comment that you just have to let your head catch up with your body and pay no attention to those people, you're still the same person you were before on the inside only now you're healthier!
You are right - that is pretty unexpected. Good thing to know that you aren't alone, and that I agree it is more like, 'the old you was great, and the new healthier you is icing'
I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I tried dieting before the compliments bothered me more than they do this time. Thicker skin, I guess. I had a lady at the convenience store that I frequent tell me the other day, "Boy, you have lost a bunch of weight, are you sick". I just smiled and said "no, I've never felt better". This woman knows I am on a liver transplant list and thought I must just be getting worse, so I understand her comment.Losing this weight will make me a better candidate for surgery and make the recovery even that much easier. Congrat's on your weight loss.
Unexpected results
I can imagine that it would be hard to deal with... but I think the others have given you some great advice.
I think I'm ready for it this time, though.
