Carla, Thank you so much. Your words brought a smile to my face and made me feel a lot better. I know my goal is realistic as my doctor told me it's a great goal weight for my heigh/bone structure. I have seen before where people have made unreachable goal weights which in the end just makes them not even get close to their goal. So, I'm glad both my doctor and I have established a goal that is very attainable.

Mauvaisroux, I would hate to be just skin and bones! I love my curves and I love that I have a butt! I'm glad to hear men like that too! I really do just need to carry myself better, stand up straight, not slouch at all and have confidence in myself.

Thank you everyone I definitely know I wouldn't be losing this weight if it wasn't for the support of everyone here You all are awesome!

Way back when I was doing the "clubbing" thing, I always ended up getting hit on when I went out with no makeup on and sloppy clothes because I usually didn't care that night. On nights when I really dressed myself up and "was on the prowl" I rarely got hit on.

Of course my married friends (both fat and skinny) always got hit on no matter how I looked. It turns out it's because a lot of single women will subconsciously send out the I'm desparate signal to men that married women don't.

It sounds like you are doing awesome on losing your weight. I'm sure as the weight continues to come off you'll start getting more confidence and before you know it, you'll have to start turning down the men

Glad you are feeling better Haleys!

it's very true that when you feel good about yourself, you project yourself differently to others. When you feel down, remember your accomplishments and try to remain positively focused.

As everyone else has said, 150 at your height is NOT chunky at all! Its funny how people will think that everyone has to be at 120 or lower to not be overweight anymore.

My goal right now is 200 lbs, I looked pretty good at that weight. I know that I'll never weigh 120, and I don't want to. I like you, like my curves and that I have a butt Everyone is built differently, and I'm glad that you aren't letting that rude comment get you down!

I think when you start that, you'll notice a HUGE difference!!

~Liz

Haley i know how you feel but i got another thing working against me, my wheelchair. i get hit on sometimes and i'm 230 lbs and 5'0. i really like this guy but hes looking all over me. i'm not gonna let that get me down. i want you to know that i think big gurls is beautiful and more sexier then skinny women. The media and videos make skinny women look like the thing but when i see a skinny girl i be thinking "is she hungry? she must be.....lol". Remember this haley god didnt put everybody on this earth to be the same. If we was the same this would be one boring world don't you think! Like everyone said keep your head up and keep moving. You will turn some heads trust me!

Weight can certainly be a dating issue, but ya know, personally I think people date other real and fun people - not the ones that feel that they "know everything" or that bully. Unless you want to be dating another bully, that is. Just keep truckin' and dressing up all of the time. I don't have much money, but I do invest in make-up,(not overly done, for me!) hair cuts and stylish, clean and ironed clothes. Bullies Beware.

smooch - Radiodoll

You GO girls!

You know what? There too many women on this board who are married or in happy relationships for it to be true that fat women aren't attractive to men. Please, it is ridiculous to even suggest that is the case. Finding thin women attractive doesn't mean you think all fat women are ugly. And being thin doesn't give you any guarantee of being pretty. Not to mention that looks might turn a stranger's head but once you start to get to know each other that goes out the window. Haven't you ever met a guy that you didn't really think twice about but then you realized how funny and smart he was and then, BINGO, he's a looker? Or have you seen a really hot guy only to have him open his mouth and be an idiot - blech, all of a sudden not so cute. The same applies to women.

The bottom line is that men may ogle thin great looking women (heck, I do too!) but they want to hang out and date women they have fun with. The best way to attract a guy is to go out and HAVE FUN without one.

As for goal weights it seems that the unrealistic images seen in the media have influenced a few too many people. I'm only 5 foot 2 and I weigh 148 pounds and I look GREAT. Yep, I want to lose more but I could stop here and be very comfortable with how my body looks. To imply that 150 would be chunky on your 5'9" frame is asinine. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to come on down and introduce themselves to the REAL world.

BBWonwheels, thank you. I too sometimes see very thin people and think "PLEASE, EAT SOMETHING!!!" You're right, this world would be pretty boring if everyone was the same!

radiodoll, no bullies please! I know I'm a funny, kind person and whether I'm big or not, that's me and I'll find someone who likes me for that. Right now I don't have many very cute clothes, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, but when I get to my goal weight, I'm planning on buying an entirely new wardrobe.

jawsmom, that's all very true. There have been guys that I didn't take a second look at and then I got to know them and thought wow they're a great person. I am having a lot of fun with my friends, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

Thank you everyone!

Ratel, I totally agree with your statements in many areas/subjects on this board. They have been my thoughts on several occasions where people are simply just sabotaging themselves and others enable them!!

The men thing...I still think guys are just an insecure as women and the older a man is, the more he values a woman for their total package and not merely on appearance. Women have lots of power when it comes to men! Just my expereinces.

Thanks for your honesty!

hmmm...ya know.. The whole enabling.. tough love bit that I have been seeing on this board lately just amazes me. I truly think we can support each other and give good solid advice without blasting people! I don't think support and coddling are always the same thing.. Just my thoughts.. anyway...

I just wanted to say Haley's.. I'm also 5'9 when I was at 160 I wore a size 7/8 jeans.. People thought I was too thin for my bone structure.. My collerbones looked like beacons.. I actually had someone ask me if I had aids.. I think alot has to do with your bone structure.. 150 is certainly not too much for someone our height..
On another note.. you don't have to wait till your bone thin to look at your wardrobe.. just picking up a few inexpensive transitional items can do wonders for your self esteem as you are losing.. I hit the $5 store.. the flea market.. The new boho tops.. longer lengths with the raised empire waist are really flattering on larger girls.. A V neck will draw their attention up and toward your face.. THEN keep that chin up and look these guys in the eye.. If someones looking at you with interest it's human nature to look back.. And most of all keep a smile on your face.. Your personality will take you far.. I'm really glad you seem to be feeling better..

Glad you are feeling better.

Just one thing in sexyacura's defense is that she is not as tall as you guys (or me) and as she pointed out, maybe her judgement was marred by the fact that she was basing her statement on her own weight and goal weight. I don't think any offense was intended.

Secondly, I agree that weight has such a small part in whether you are attractive to the opposite (or same if that's your preference) sex. I met my husband when I was around 160 lbs- which is slightly overweight for me and he was attracted to me because (and this is his description) I am exciting, fun, funny, nice, outspoken, and just so very very different in personality and the way I live my life from him. In other words- I was all the things that he didn't have the confidence to be. It was a win win situation. I gave him courage and passion in life and he gave me stability and drags my butt back to this planet when I start going off in all directions. He says that all those qualities about me are what make me sexy to him more than any number on a scale.

That said, I pursued him for quite a while before I won him over and I was perfectly comfortable doing that because I realized that if I didn't try, why should he? You never know what you are missing by just putting your head down and waiting for Mr Right to come along and snatch you up.

I agree that coddling someone at the expense of the truth isn't helpful. Any of my friends or family will tell you that I am brutally honest. I always give people my honest opinions (when they ask for them) because I want honest advice when I ask for it. So, your point is well taken.

With that said I think as you get older you are going to find that the opinion you have of guys now is going to change. I see from your profile that you are 17 years old. I am more than twice your age but I remember what it is like and guys in that age range admittedly have a more narrow view of what is attractive and they don't have the maturity to look for much more in a girl than her appearance. As they get older and experience more of life they grow to see that there is more to being with a woman than having a trophy. Does that mean they are one day going to wake up and not think the covergirls are knockouts? Of course not. But, most of them figure out that they aren't exactly Brad Pitt and all of a sudden they'd rather spend time with someone they can talk to and have fun with. If the woman happens to have a great figure and above average beauty, well, that is just gravy - not a deciding factor. I don't presume to speak on anyone else's behalf but I would bet my last dollar that most of the women on this board who are in their 30's or older would agree.

Personally what I have seen on these boards is not "coddling" and "enabling", just people trying to be supportive and offering suggestions to help people work through their problems.

There are ways to tell people the truth without criticizing them or hurting their feelings and making them feel bad about themselves.

I am closing this thread as it seems to be going off topic.