Ok have been dieting for about 6 months now. I have always lost weight and never gained a pound I lost. I started at 450 and now I am 380 and today he descides to tell me he is embarrised by me.
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Is it possible that he meant he was embarassed about your weight, but is only saying something now because you are losing? I am not saying he was showing the proper sensitivity, but he may not be as evil as some posters seem to think.
A little while back my wife was looking at a picture of me from 90# ago and she commented on how fat I was before she caught herself. She didn't mean anything by it; it just sort of slipped out.
Is your husband overweight at all? He may be jealous of you that you have lost 70 pounds. I lost 40 pounds and I get alot positive remarks from friends and family EXCEPT from my husband. I asked him one day why he doesnt ever say anything to me, and he said "beacuse I am jealous, you look great and I dont!" Sounds weird and I honestly couldnt believe he said that to me, but maybe your husband is jealous. My husband has never said anything mean to me, he just has never said "anything" to me. Hopefully you two can work through this. You should be very proud of yourself, 70 pounds is amazing, keep it up!!! Its weird that your husband hasnt said something like that to you before you began losing weight, it was "after" the 70 pound loss, which also makes me think he may be jealous!! Sometimes men do not know how to handle things! (well we ever be able to figure them out?)
Oh That SOB!!! I am so so sorry, I wish I could kick him in the nuts a few times, and then maybe go back in time and run over his childhood favorite pet, maybe that would show him how you feel right now.
Perhaps you should tell him that you are embarrased to be with such a callous, unapreciative, unsupportive, dildo brain of a "man."
You should be so incredibly proud of yourself for all the weight that you have lost. And even more proud for doing it while living with this guy. Please please don't stop, don't let him get you down. Forget him, I am proud of you, (and I don't even know you !) and so is everyone else on this site. I think you have around 70 replies right now, and we ALL are proud of you and support you. Screw him and his nasty words, you just keep on keepin on for YOU. Your the one that matters!!
Ahh hon i am sorry to hear that, but you know what let this motivate you more so that when you lose all the weight and men start drooling after you you can flaunt it and kinda throw it in his face.
I am so sorry to read your post. I'm most sad for your sorry a$$ husband who has no idea what he's done to you and to your relationship. That trust tower is a hard thing to rebuild once it's knocked down. He's taken a big chunk out of it if you ask me. He's supposed to be your support system, not the one to knock the wind out of you.
I learned to say to my ex, with a BIG smile on my face, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I know that I'm OK." Then walk away from his hurtful words. My ex-husband was verbally abusive to me so I know how difficult it is to NOT take his words to heart. It took me 16 years until I decided I wasn't going to take it anymore, I wasn't going to cry myself to sleep because I wasn't perfect.
Through counseling I learned a lot of things. The most important was that I am lovable and deserve to be treated with respect. My husband was afraid I'd leave him so he in turn pushed me away. I also learned that I'm not the "ugly, fat, over 40 frump that no-one would want" wife anymore. Those were his words, his fear speaking, not mine.
I'm not making excuses for your husband, but maybe your hubby is scared of your weight loss and the control you obviously have. I remember when my mom lost over 100 lbs on Weight Watchers, she and my dad had a very difficult time. He was jealous of attention she was getting for her achievement - she ended up gaining it back to settle the problem.
We need to take control of our lives and know that we count, we deserve to be healthy and happy, loved and respected.
I wish you luck, keep your chin up. You've got it going on, you've proved it! So keep it going!
I can't help but think, after reading all these posts, that maybe he didn't mean it the way it was sounding. I'm not saying his intentions were good, though. Men don't realize how much words hurt. I was thinking when you wondered why he would bring it up after you'd started to lose weight...but it was something he'd always thought, but now that you were starting to lose weight he wanted to make sure you kept with your bargain. So to "help" keep you on plan, he was honest about how he felt about your weight thinking that it wouldn't hurt since you'd obviously started losing weight and were therefore aware of the problem. Doesn't make him any less of an idiot, but just thinking maybe he did it because you were losing and because he wanted to keep you on plan and thought you wouldn't take a comment like that personally (men often don't get why women take words personally). Anyways, I hope things have improved since your post and hope you find us and share with us a little.
